“And Her Majesty was satisfied with the visit ?”
“More than satisfied. I believe the highlight for her was the three-legged race. She commented on it several times during dinner later that evening. It seems her Queen’s garter was an impromptu response to the twins’ bold win. She assured us there had never been a previous award of such nature until that afternoon .”
Diana was amused. “I shall inform the twins, who have not stopped talking about the event since we returned home. I am about to throttle them if they do not keep quiet .”
Diana prepared the tea tray and she led the way to the sitting room. “I thought it best if we have tea in here. It is more comfortable and will allow us to discuss the schedule with more ease .”
After Diana served the tea she said, “I am about a third of the way through your book, Robert, and I have to say, it is quite a thrilling read. Did you really do all of those adventures ?”
“Well, there were embellishments or deletions here and there. One does not want to read about days and days of trekking through dusty deserts, or the boredom of river trips filled with mosquitos. But the actual events are all quite true .”
Diana was still concerned when she said, “As I read your book, I am constantly aware that the story is very much from the male point of view. It seems to be such an abrupt departure from what I have been writing. I worry that my readers may be disoriented by that and you may get negative reviews from those accustomed to my previous work .”
Robert seemed to consider her remarks and then said, “I do understand. And here is what I have written as a preface to the book.” He then handed it to her. “And have you had an opportunity to write your preface yet ?”
“Oh, Robert, I am so sorry, but I have not. I was focused on completing my Christmas chapter for Sir Cecil .”
“Then read what I have written and we can discuss it later .”
“Yes, I shall.” Diana picked up the schedule of publicity events and studied it. She had several questions and was considering which to bring up first when Robert suddenly became agitated and stood. He crossed over to the window overlooking the garden and stood rigidly .
Diana was startled and she stood and went over to where he was standing and put her hand on his back. “Robert, what?” She was surprised to find that he was trembling. “Is something troubling you ?”
He suddenly whipped around to face her and grabbed her by the shoulders. “Diana… Diana, what can I say? I try… I try to hold back and stop myself. But I cannot .”
“Robert, you are hurting me,” she said, as she tried pulling away from his grasp .
He let her go but was still agitated. His face was registering extreme agitation .
“Diana… I have such deep feelings for you, but I am wracked with pain and guilt and …”
Then he took hold of her again and passionately kissed her. At first, Diana’s body went rigid as her mind rebelled against the action. But then she relaxed as she felt a surge of emotion sweep through her whole body. She knew it was wrong, but it felt so right. That sent a surge of panic through her, but she could not resist the kiss and totally surrendered into Robert’s arms .
Then they heard the front door open. Diana thought it could only be her mother or Adam, who had become accustomed to entering the house now without knocking first .
“Robert,” she said almost involuntarily as she pulled away and crossed toward the sitting-room door .
“Diana? Diana? Are you downstairs or in your room?” Adam’s voice rang out from the entryway .
“In here,” Diana called as she flung open the door .
Adam appeared but seemed surprised to see Robert standing at the garden window .
“Oh, you have company…” he said tentatively, but then said boisterously, “I have finished it. I have completely finished my dissertation. Now all I need is to have it approved by my faculty .”
Diana embraced him but found she was still shaking from the kiss. “Oh, Adam, that is such splendid news. I am so proud of you .”
Robert suddenly rushed to the chair where he had been sitting. He grabbed his hat and a folder of papers. He turned to them and said in an agitated voice. “Congratulations. However, I must leave urgently.” He turned to Diana. “I will stop by another time to continue our conversation about the book. Good-day to you both .”
And he left .
Adam babbled on about the dissertation and what it meant, and how they could now focus completely on the wedding and planning the honeymoon, but Diana barely heard a word of what he was saying. It was all she could do to keep from bursting into tears… or laughter. She was not sure what she was feeling. Except that it was all about Robert. And as Adam was so self-absorbed with his accomplishment, he seemed not to notice the inner turmoil that had overtaken Diana .
Finally, she calmed herself enough to congratulate Adam once again and usher him out of the house insisting she needed to start dinner and she would see him tomorrow when they could celebrate properly .
“Perhaps I might take you out to tea tomorrow afternoon,” Diana suggested .
“Oh, no,” Adam admonished. “We need something much more commanding than that. What about we go to the Cambridge Hotel for the roast beef? They do it so well .”
“If that is what you would like, then that sounds lovely. And it will be my treat in honor of your great accomplishment,” Diana said as she gently ushered him out the door .
Adam smiled broadly. “Brilliant. I shall call for you at six .”
* * *
D iana continued to be confused about Robert’s kiss, and her response to it. She not only blamed Robert for the impropriety but she equally blamed herself .
She desperately wanted to talk to someone about this but knew she could not bare her tender feelings to Geoffrey and Miriam’s examination, as they would be too flippant and caustic .
She considered talking to her mother, but she already knew exactly what she would say. Her mother was incapable of considering nuance or extenuating circumstances. Everything was either very black or white .
But her father, on the other hand, was less quick to judge. He was used to considering more complex situations .
Mother always went to open up the gallery first thing after she finished her breakfast, while father tended to linger over the newspaper, have a second cup of tea, and dawdle over whatever he had to eat for breakfast that morning .
Diana held back until her mother left .
“Father, I need your advice about a personal matter,” she said .
He looked up from the paper. “Yes, my dear, how might I be of assistance,” he asked, giving her his full attention .
It was not easy to begin this conversation. Diana was unsure where to begin, so she just blurted out, “Father, I have very deep feelings for Robert Donnelly .”
“Feelings?”
“Romantic feelings,” Diana clarified .
“Oh…”
“And he definitely has feelings for me .”
“And Adam? How do you feel about him… your fiancé ?”
Diana gave a little laugh. “Yes, now there is the crux of the issue .”
Father leaned back in his chair and appeared to consider what had been presented to him .
“Are your feelings for the Earl stronger and more defined that your feelings for Adam ?”
Diana was unsure, at first, what to say. “I do not know. This has all happened so recently… so suddenly. And then there is the matter of the engagement .”
“How obligated do you feel to Adam?” he asked .
“Very. There is the loan. The implication was that the loan would only be given if I agreed to marry Adam .”
“Ah, yes. The loan. And I can see how you might feel obligated .”
Father set his elbows on the table, folded his hands, and rested his chin on them as he thought about this situation .
“Has the Earl expressed any intentions toward you ?”
“No, F
ather. We have not allowed ourselves to consider anything other than our professional relationship up to this point. Until yesterday, when we both succumbed to our passions .”
“Succumbed?” he asked with a raised eyebrow .”
“A kiss, Father .”
He nodded. “And what do you feel for Adam ?”
“I have a deep regard for him. I feel a warmth and affection but not a deep passion .”
Father considered that. “Perhaps I might tell you a story,” he said. “Your mother and I had been discreetly set up by our families to meet at a dance at the college. It was a rather formal affair and our parents worked very hard to conceal that our meeting was arranged. But we both knew the facts. We danced as expected, and we chatted and socialized throughout the evening and formed a mild friendship .
“Neither of us was passionate about the other. However, I learned through a fellow student, that your mother was passionate about a young man from another college—a rather handsome student of philosophy. He was definitely more striking physically than I was, and he was the second son of a duke. I, however, tended toward the more mundane, as I was plainer looking and the son of a vicar. But in those days parents exercised much greater control over their children than we do today, and we were directed into an engagement that I was not eager about, and to which your mother was absolutely antithetical .
“But you see, she was not considered marriage material for even the second son of a duke, so it was eventually necessary for her to reconcile to the fact that she would not be accepted by the duke’s family and we would be married .”
“Oh, Father, I never knew… It must have been devastating for you both,” Diana said .
“Perhaps at first. But over time we grew not only to accept the situation but to actually be very much in love with one another .”
“I see .”
“Now, please do not repeat to your mother what I just told you. She would be most embarrassed for you to know. But I believe you are old enough and wise enough to understand why I am telling you this .”
“A professor’s daughter is not to marry an Earl,” she said with a tone of bitterness .
“That may be one aspect, but there is also your duty to Adam. You, in effect, gave him your promise of marriage in exchange for the loan. And I do not believe you are the sort of person who could break that trust .”
“Yes, Father,” Diana said quietly .
“But most importantly, what I want you to take away from what I said to you is that your mother and I do love each other very much. And I sincerely believe that you and Adam will also find love. You are both fine, upstanding people, and, with time, I believe you will find a sincere affection for one another .”
Her father looked over at the stove. “Now tell me, is there any more of that quite tasty porridge left ?”
* * *
D iana had not been able to write one word after the conversation with her father, and she had cried herself to sleep that night. When she awoke the next morning, she felt sullen and despondent. But she knew that what her father had said was an accurate assessment of her situation .
She knew the episode with Robert had been a mistake—on both of their parts. He must certainly know that he might not marry one of her class, and she certainly knew how inappropriate any romantic relationship between them must be in the eyes of his fellow noblemen .
She would now need to walk down a narrow path. On one side, she had her obligations to Adam, and on the other side, she needed to maintain a professional business relationship with Robert .
It was not going to be easy, but once the marriage had taken place, she believed it would become easier .
As planned, that evening Diana and Adam went to the Cambridge Hotel for their celebratory dinner .
The hotel was very grand, and she had chosen well to wear one of her finer gowns. They entered the dining room and were ushered to a nice table that was secluded by an arrangement of palm trees but was close enough to the orchestra to be able to enjoy the music .
“We will start with a bottle of Piper-Heidsieck,” Adam instructed the waiter. “We are celebrating.” The waiter nodded but did not seem to be moved by that fact. “Then I think Scottish smoked salmon and toasts to start. We will order the rest later .”
“Very good, sir .”
Adam turned his attention to Diana after examining the dining room .
“I love coming here. It is so elegant. And I cannot wait until we are in London and will be able to dine out as we please, and go to fine parties and concerts and the theatre .”
“But we must be careful the first several years, Adam. Remember your salary will be modest, to begin with .”
“Yes, but we will have your income as well. We will be just fine. And I was thinking when you come to London for the book signings, you might be able to stay with my parents, and we could look at flats. I will be home by then and it would be a great time to set up our living arrangements. What do you think? You will have time, will you not ?”
Diana was absolutely determined to follow her father’s advice on the engagement, but she was having a difficult time enthusiastically committing herself to Adam’s plan .
“I will need to check my schedule. I know we have a lot planned both during the days and many evenings .”
“But you are not going to be promoting the book every single minute of the day. I can certainly work around your schedule. And it will be such fun planning our new life together .”
The waiter returned and served the smoked salmon and champagne .
As he was serving, Adam reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a paper which he opened and spread out in front of Diana .
“This is to be our itinerary. As you can see our first port will be in Athens. I was thinking we might explore the Peloponnese peninsula and then head …”
Diana reached over and put her hand on top of his, and said, “I thought we were going to develop the itinerary together before we made the arrangements .”
“Oh, I did the research and felt certain you would like what I chose. I went ahead and made the reservations so we could be sure to have all the bookings confirmed before we left .”
“I see,” Diana said with a smile, but inwardly seething with resentment at his inconsideration .
The waiter, having poured the wine, asked, “Would you like to order now, sir ?”
“Yes, we will have the roast beef with boiled potatoes, and I think asparagus if you have any… and let us have two side salads with that mayonnaise dressing that you do so well here.” He looked up at Diana. “That will be fine, will it not?” he asked without waiting for her answer. Then he turned back to the waiter. “Yes, thank you. That will do nicely. “Oh, and the strawberry blancmange for afters. Thank you .”
Then he turned to Diana and smiled. “Is this not such great fun ?”
Chapter 23
A fter that most embarrassing kiss, Diana and Robert avoided each other during the months of July and August. Any business regarding the book promotion was, from that point on, conducted by correspondence between them and with Sir Cecil .
Diana had dutifully written her preface to Robert’s book which explained that she desired to tell her new tale from the male point of view and had written an adventure/romance story with a man as the principal character. It was similar to Robert’s prologue, but it was more clearly written in her voice, and both Robert and Sir Cecil agreed to use her preface in the book .
It was now early September and almost time for Robert and Diana to go to London for the official publication of his book and the start of the promotional tour. Robert was in the library dealing with some last-minute paperwork prior to leaving. A stack of advanced copies of his book stood on his desk and, even though he had admired them many times, he could not help but pick up one and flip through it again, stopping to read some of his favorite sections .
Sithens came into the room. “The morning post, Sir,” he said, offering it to Robert
.
“Thank you .”
Robert sorted through the mail and found a letter from Diana, which he opened immediately .
D earest Robert,
I am looking forward to our pending trip to London for the publication of your novel. I feel certain it will be an exhilarating event for you and will lead to a resounding success for you as an author .
I want to thank you for offering to let me stay at your London house during the events, but I feel that might not be wise in light of our rather uncomfortable encounter just after the Queen’s visit. Therefore, I feel it best if I stay at Adam’s parents’ house during our time in London .
But the arrangements we have made to travel down to London by train together are still satisfactory, and I look forward to traveling with you in your carriage to the train station .
I have received several advance copies of your book and I must say, it came out very well. I have started rereading it again in its published form and am enjoying it again very much .
I shall be ready and on time when you call for me on the day of our departure .
Your sincere friend ,
Diana Browning
R obert put down the letter. Oh, how bleak was her closing of Your sincere friend. But he found he was still anguished by his behavior that afternoon at Diana’s house. The kiss. Oh, yes, that kiss. Even now, the thought of that warmed him and sent a shiver of desire through his body .
However, she was absolutely right not to stay at his London house. It would have only added to his torture of not having her romantically in his life .
He remembered that the date of her marriage was to be in about a month, and he resolved to start weaning himself from thoughts of her. He knew now, any hope he had of winning her was now past, and he must move on. But the dreary candidates that Amelia always presented to him depressed him to no end .
Amelia came into the room and stood looking at him from the entryway .
“Amelia? Is there something you need ?”
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