A lone tear slid down her cheek and he kissed it away. He didn’t want to see her cry and didn’t want to see her in pain, but he couldn’t kiss it all away.
“We didn’t see the train tracks until it was too late.”
“Fuck, did you…”
“There wasn’t a train, but the tracks were at an angle to the street. So instead of going at the ninety-degree angle you need to on his bike at our speed, we hit it awkwardly. The bike went down, and we both flew off of it. I skidded down the right side of the road and shredded my leathers. Jason ended up in oncoming traffic.”
Dear. God.
“A semi on the way to the highway hit him at full speed. He didn’t have a chance. The back tires slammed into the bike and caused an explosion. I had just turned over to see my fiancé die, hit by a truck, and then parts of the bike that were on fire slammed into my side. It was only a small part, but the burns and impact crushed three of my ribs and tore into one of my lungs. I don’t remember much after that.”
“Oh baby, oh fuck.” He gently held her close, as if she was still as broken as she’d been the day of the accident ten years ago.
She wrapped her arms around him and hung on tight, tighter than he held her. Taking that as encouragement, he gripped harder, never wanting to let her go.
Her shoulders shook as she sobbed in his arms, and he felt his own tears track down his face into his beard. She’d been so young and so fucking lucky that she’d lived through that. To have to watch her fiancé die like that…hell…he didn’t know how she survived.
“You’re so fucking strong, Sierra. You lived, and you’re still here. To do that…baby, you’re so fucking strong,” he repeated.
She pulled back, confusion in her gaze, before she kissed him softly. “Thank you for that. I don’t always feel it, and back then, I knew I was weak. That’s what I kept telling myself over and over again. That’s what Marsha, Todd, and their lawyers kept saying.”
“You were never weak.”
“Thank you,” she whispered then cleared her throat. “Jason died on impact. He was still alive when the semi came because I remember him looking up at me one last time, but he would have died quickly after that according to the doctors. I was in a medically induced coma for four days before I finally woke up.”
He ran his hand up and down her back, feeling incompetent. He didn’t know how to take her pain, but he could do his best to comfort her.
“It took months of surgeries, skin grafts, and agony before I was able to leave the hospital and not have a home nurse. By then, I had dropped out of college and moved back in with my parents.”
Sierra bit her lip then shook her head. “I eventually went back and got my degree, but it took a hell of a lot longer than I’d planned. My parents died before they could see me graduate.”
“Oh, baby.”
“I know, but they were there for me when I really needed them. Not with just the healing and PT stuff. You see it was an accident according to the cops. At first.”
She met his gaze, and Austin held back a curse.
“I told you Todd and Marsha had money. Well, they used that money to stir their grief and found a judge who looked into the case. They did all they could to find me criminally responsible for his son’s death. They even tried to sue the semi driver, though he’d done nothing wrong. He called the police and saved my life by putting pressure on my wounds, but Jason’s parents didn’t care. In fact, I think they blamed the man for saving my life.”
“You’re kidding me.”
She shook her head. “No. No I’m not. They told me flat-out to my face that I should have died in that accident and not him. They told me, and had the judge convinced, through money or idiocy, that if I hadn’t forced Jason into the lifestyle, he would have been in the right mind never to get on the death trap of the bike in the first place. They told everyone they could that I must have done something on the back of the bike—sexual or violent depending on who spoke, Marsha or Todd—to cause the accident. They went on and on, trying to get me in jail.”
“None of that would have brought back their son,” he bit out.
“I know that. The cops knew that. The other judges knew that. We never went to court, thank God. They didn’t have a case. It took years and many threats, but I was finally able to move on. By then, my parents were dead, and I had scars on my body that weren’t as deep as the ones on my heart. The cops on the scene ruled it an accident, and though it was, it took me a long time to see that myself. In fact, I still don’t believe it some days. I still feel like I’m the one who killed him.”
He cupped her face, anger running in his veins at the situation and the idea that she’d think that and blame herself for something so far out of her control; it was crazy.
“You did nothing wrong. You loved a man, and you both had an accident.”
“That’s not all,” she whispered, the darkness in her gaze forcing Austin to hold himself back.
“What?”
“I was pregnant when we went down.”
“Fuck,” he grunted then tugged her close. “Oh, baby. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“I didn’t know it at the time and lost the baby due to the trauma. When Jason’s parents found out—I’d been drugged up because of the pain and let it slip—they blamed me for that death as well. I lost my baby and Jason all in one day and yet they compounded the whole situation.”
“I’m so, so sorry, Sierra. There are no words, and yet all I want to do is hold you and try to make it better.”
“I know. And the fact that you’re here holding me makes it better in some ways. I’ve never told anyone about this, not the girls at work, not even Hailey, though she knows some of it.” She met his gaze, her shoulders squaring. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to get pregnant again, Austin. I don’t know if babies are in my future.”
He let out a shaky breath. Yeah, he wanted kids, and the more time he spent with Sierra made him think that she was the one for him, but there were other ways.
“When, and if, we come to that, we will deal with it,” he said softly. “There are other methods of having children, and I’m not going to leave you because of something that might not happen. You get me?”
“I get you,” she whispered.
“Good. Now tell me how this connects with how I found you at work today.”
She sighed then told him about the phone call and what her lawyer had said. Each new piece of information set Austin’s teeth on edge. It took all in his power not to clench his fists and end up bruising Sierra in some way because he couldn’t control himself.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
“No. It’s not over, and that pisses me off.”
“Good, an angry Sierra is better than the one who thinks she can’t do anything. I like it when you’re all icy and have your chin up. You can take on the world then.”
Her eyes filled with tears, and he wished he could take those words back. Maybe he’d been too honest.
“That’s one of the nicest things you’ve said to me.” She snorted. “I know that sounds crazy, but the fact that you believe in me means so much.”
He kissed her softly then pulled back so they were eye to eye. “Of course I believe in you. You’ve been through so much, and you’ve never given up. And one thing, you’re not alone. You get that? You’ve got me and the Montgomerys on your side. We’re not letting these bastards hurt you. You’re mine, Sierra Elder, and I’m not letting go.”
He’d never said those words to another person before, and he knew one day soon he’d also tell her the other three words he’d never uttered to someone who wasn’t his family.
“I…thank you,” she whispered.
“Anything, Sierra. Know that. I’ll do anything you need me to do.” Including kill those bastards who thought they could hurt her.
She looked him straight in the eye, her chin rising. “Make me yours in truth, Austin.”
He froze. “What?”
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“You’ve done so much for me, but I’ve never done anything for you.”
“Sierra, just you being you does it for me.”
She shook her head. “No, I mean I’ve never served you. I want to take our relationship to the next level. I want to care for you the way we both need. I want you to do what you need as well. I want to find that trust and work toward something more.”
No sweeter words had ever reached his ears.
There was only one thing to say.
“Kneel.”
Chapter Fourteen
Sierra startled for only a moment—the fact she hadn’t done this is in so long was almost jarring—before sliding off Austin’s lap to the floor. He’d ordered her to kneel, and just that one word sent shivers down her spine.
She’d opened up to him in a way she’d never opened up to anyone, and now she wanted more. From the look in Austin’s eyes, he wanted the same.
It should have been fear or anxiety running through her veins at the thought of giving herself body and soul to another man, but it wasn’t. Instead, the need and desire burning through her body ignited a torch she prayed would never be extinguished.
Still clothed, she sank to her knees on the floor, her legs spread and her hands palms up on her thighs. She kept her chin raised and her gaze downward. Normally, she would do this nude, but as this was starting something new for the both of them, they’d take it one step at a time.
Her breasts ached for his touch, her pussy wet and ready with just that one word from him. She would have thought that after everything she’d just told him she wouldn’t be ready for him so quickly, but she couldn’t help herself.
She wanted Austin Montgomery.
Now.
Austin stood up so he was in front of her. He cupped her cheek, bringing her gaze to his. “You look beautiful, Sierra. This gift you’ve given me…I’m going to take care of you. Do you understand me?”
She nodded.
“You understand?”
“Yes, Austin. I do.”
“Good. Now you say you want to serve me? Tell me exactly what you mean. This first time, while we’re still understanding each other, we’ll talk about each thing before we do it. We will eventually get to know each other well enough that words won’t be necessary, but for now, I need you to tell me what you want.”
“Yes, Austin.” She licked her lips. “I want to suck your cock and serve you.”
He didn’t smile, but his eyes danced. “Good. I want your mouth on my dick. What else do you want? What do you want me to do with your body?”
Everything? No, she couldn’t say that. She needed to be specific.
“I want you to play with my nipples.”
His hand went to her breast, cupping her softy even as his gaze remained on her. “I can do that. You want to go harder?” She nodded. “Good. I’m going to put you in nipple clamps. I want to see those reddened nipples. I want to see your eyes widen as I take them off and have to suck on them to help with the sting.”
Dear Lord, this man was good at dirty talk.
“What else, Sierra?”
“I…I want you to flog me.”
There. She said it. After all they had talked about, she needed the feel of leather on her skin. Austin had told her he was a master with the flogger, but they’d never played that way. Oh how she wanted his attention solely on her as he delivered those sweet lashes.
He growled slightly, and she grew wetter.
“I want to see my mark on your body.” Her eyes widened and he narrowed his. “My mark isn’t the same as your scars, Sierra. My mark will be something for the both of us, something to desire, to feel.” She let out a breath and he nodded. “I’ll flog your back, your sides, your ass. I want to see how red you get before I soothe your aches and fuck you hard. Tonight we’ll do both of those things after you suck my dick and swallow my come.” He pulled his hand back from her cheek, and she felt the loss.
“Undo my pants and take my cock out. Hold it in your hand but don’t let your lips touch it.”
Nervous, she looked past him at the open windows that covered the wall floor to ceiling.
Austin’s hand went to her hair, wrapping it around his fist. He pulled. Hard. “Don’t look at the windows. I didn’t tell you to do that. I told you to get my cock out. No one can see inside here even when it’s dark and I have the lights on. The windows are specially tinted so we can see outside, but they can’t see in. If you think I’d let anyone else see you on your knees in front of me, you’re disrespecting me.”
Tears shimmered in her eyes at the thought that she’d already messed up. She was out of practice, and Austin was so different than Jason.
Damn it.
Jason wasn’t allowed in her mind anymore. He was gone, and she wanted to serve Austin. She quickly undid the button on his jeans then slowly slid the zipper down. He was wearing boxer briefs, and because he already had an erection, she didn’t want to hurt him.
Her hands went to the waist of his jeans and slid them down over his ass so she could get a better angle. Then she took his boxer briefs and did the same. His cock sprang out, almost hitting her in the face.
If it had been any other situation, she would have laughed, but all she wanted was to taste him and have him fill her. She loved Austin’s cock. Loved the look of it, the feel of it in her hands, in her pussy. She wanted to know his taste. He’d yet to let her do that, and now she’d have a chance.
Sierra licked her lips then wrapped her hand around his erection. Her thumb and middle finger couldn’t touch, and her eyes widened. She knew he was big, had felt it, but hell.
“Good girl. Now run your hand up and down that way. Feel all of me. Then take your free hand and cup my balls.”
Eager, she did as he said, loving the soft feel over hardness.
“Let the head of my cock sit on your tongue. Just the tip.”
Yes. This was what she’d been missing. She opened her mouth and let the crown of his cock lay on her tongue. She kept her hands on him as well since he hadn’t told her to do otherwise.
“Suck on it.”
She closed her mouth and sucked, running the tip of her tongue around the edge then along the slit. Austin sucked in a breath so she knew he liked that.
“Swallow as much as you can then pull back. Then keep going. Get me as hard as possible and almost to the point of coming. Serve me.”
She held back a groan then opened her mouth, letting her jaw hang open. She swallowed as much of him as she could, even taking some of him down her throat, but she couldn’t take all of his cock. When she slid back up, she let her teeth gently graze him, but not too hard. Austin hissed, and she held back a smile.
“You don’t have a gag reflex?” he grunted out.
She pulled away, letting him go with a pop. “Not really.”
“Fuck, we’re going to have so much fun.”
She met his gaze then smiled. “I’m counting on it.”
His hand was still wrapped in her hair, so he pushed her closer to his cock. Taking that as a cue, she swallowed him again then pulled back. She licked, nibbled, and kissed down his length before repeating the process. Then she pushed his dick up so it pressed against his belly to give her better access to his balls. She let them fill her mouth one at a time, rolling them on her tongue. When he groaned, she went back to his length and sucked some more. She increased her pace and hollowed her cheeks, using all she could to get him going. When the first spurt of come hit her tongue, she squeezed his cock with her fist then opened her mouth wider. He shouted her name and came down her throat. She slurped him up, missing a few drops, but not caring. They slid down her chin, and she’d never felt more naughty.
Well, maybe, but right then, she didn’t care.
When he was done, he pulled away then stripped off his shirt. He wiped her chin then bent to kiss her.
Hard.
“You’re such a good girl, Sierra. You’re mine.”
“Yours, Austin.�
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He stood straight then tucked himself back into his pants before holding out his hand. She put hers in his then stood up. “Follow me.”
He led her to the basement, each step she took sending shivers and aches down her spine right to her clit. When he took her into a room she’d never seen before, she held back a gasp. He had everything they would need in his small, personal dungeon. It wasn’t fancy or too expensively done, but it looked safe and sexy as hell.
“Stand in the center while I undress you.”
She did so, clasping her hands in front of her. Her chest hurt from her heart beating so hard. He stripped off her shirt, and she had to put her arms up to help him. Then he undid her bra and took off her pants, leaving her naked to his gaze.
He walked around her, inspecting her. She’d never felt so naked, bare in front of another person, yet so cared for at the same time.
When he came around again so he stood in front of her, he smiled. “You’re beautiful, baby. I love that you don’t shave your pussy but trim it. Your scars only make you look stronger. And your breasts? Fuck, I can’t wait to see them in clamps.”
Her knees shook as he left her to get the clamps from one of the drawers on a side table. He came back, and she felt like she could climax right then. He lowered his head, taking one nipple in his mouth. He sucked and teased until it was so hard she felt like she was breaking. When he put the clamp on, she sucked in a breath. Oh, God, it hurt, but in the best way possible. He did the same to her other breast, and she had to hold herself back from squirming. She was so wet she knew that if he looked he’d see it. That alone pushed her to the edge.
He kissed her again, a fierce show of strength and caring, nibbling on her bottom lip as he pulled back. “Go stand in front of the cross, facing the wall. Do you need me to tie you to it? Or are you going to be a good girl and hold on tight?”
Both ideas made her warm. “I can hold on.”
He raised a brow. “If you don’t, you’ll be punished.”
Right then, she’d take it, but she wanted to see if she could do it.
She went to the cross and put her arms on the slats, facing the wall. She could hear him looking through something, but she couldn’t look back and see. He hadn’t told her she could.
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