by Zoe Chant
“I put some things in your room,” Gus said, stepping back. “Even if you aren’t going to move in, you know you’re always welcome here.”
Ilie couldn’t help glancing across the hall, at Laurence’s room, barely more occupied than his had been for years now.
Gus followed his look and said softly, “It’s not that Laurence doesn’t like you, Ilie.”
“No, I know,” Ilie said, looking away. He really did know, better than Gus himself.
No one else in the family knew that Laurence’s twice-yearly visits to Gray’s Hollow always included one late-night visit to the woods to see Ilie alone. Laurence was usually drunk when he came to see Ilie; Ilie was always careful to make sure he got home safely afterward. He wasn’t sure how much Laurence remembered about those conversations, all the things he had told Ilie about why he stayed away.
“But maybe he won’t mind coming to visit so much now,” Ilie added, turning to look around the bedroom of his human childhood, with adult-sized clothes laid out on the bed. “Now that I’m changed.”
“I wasn’t sure you ever would,” Gus said, squeezing Ilie’s shoulder, and Ilie looked up and smiled at the understanding in his brother’s expression.
But then Gus added, “I thought you loved being dragon-shaped more than you’d ever love anyone,” and Ilie had to look away.
He was already starting to feel the itch under his skin that he remembered from being young. Maybe it was just being in this room again, maybe it was being away from Becca, but he could feel his dragon, restless inside him.
No, he told it sternly. You’ve had plenty of time. I have Becca now. I want to be human for Becca.
“Well, things change,” Ilie said. “People change.”
“Yeah,” Gus said slowly. “But… you know you don’t have to change all the way, right?”
Ilie just shook his head. “I love Becca.”
Gus sat down on the bed and looked up at him with a wry smile. “Doesn’t take long, does it?”
Ilie smiled back, on safer ground, and shook his head again.
Gus’s expression turned serious and a little uncomfortable. “It’s not really any of my business, but… have you and Becca…?”
Ilie turned away, hiding a smile as he started changing his clothes. He was pretty sure he knew where this was going; it had been entertaining when Becca decided to make sure he knew everything he needed to know. Gus trying to explain it would be a whole different kind of amusing.
“I’ve only given her small gifts so far,” Ilie said. “I don’t want to rush her.”
Gus made a frustrated noise. “Yes, but have you—Ilie, did Dad ever have the talk with you?”
“Well,” Ilie said slowly. “When I was sixteen he explained to me about how little dragons get made, if you’re both in dragon shape.”
Gus was silent, but when Ilie turned back to face him again, he was covering his face with one hand, shaking with suppressed laughter. Ilie grinned.
“I’ve got it, big brother,” Ilie said. “No need for instructions.”
“Well, then I’ll just tell you,” Gus said, turning serious again and lowering his hand. “Uh… if you’re not rushing things and so on. Don’t put too much stock in the whole idea that the six of us were a fluke and it’s usually hard for dragons to get children, all right?”
Ilie’s jaw dropped. “Are you saying—you and Cara…?”
Gus made little hushing motions with his hands. “It’s much too early to be sure—nothing to hear yet.”
Gus’s gesture let Ilie know what he meant: no tiny unborn mind to speak to, to be sure of. “But… the signs are pointing that way, yeah. So be careful with Becca, all right?”
Ilie nodded. Becca had told him what precautions she took, and it had all seemed perfectly sensible, but now, knowing that Gus and Cara might be welcoming a baby next year, Ilie found himself greedy for the same. His restless dragon was soothed a little at the thought that staying in human shape could mean adding such a priceless treasure to the family hoard.
Still, he was careful not to look up at the sky too much for the rest of the evening. And every time he reached out automatically to speak to Mouse, he felt the dog searching for something he couldn’t find.
***
The meal with Cara and Gus flew by, and Becca found herself hugging each of them as she and Ilie finally left, the hour pushing close to midnight. It was so strange to feel a part of a family so quickly.
But she and Cara had clicked in a way that Becca had never connected with her own sister, eight years older. It had been wonderful to watch Ilie and Gus teasing each other and bickering over to how to tell stories they remembered differently.
Becca had looked over at Cara once and watched her watching them, and the love she saw shining in Cara’s eyes felt familiar.
I feel it too, Becca realized. I love Ilie like she loves Gus.
It didn’t make any sense with what Becca knew of how love should work, but dragons didn’t make any sense with what Becca had learned of zoology and physics. And she knew enough science to know: you don’t throw out the evidence in front of you because it doesn’t fit your theories.
Ilie was real, and what she felt with him was real. The rest she would just have to figure out.
When they were back in her car, Ilie said, “Do you mind… Can I show you something?”
“Sure,” Becca said immediately. It was late, but she didn’t have to worry about getting herself onto schoolday hours for another week yet.
“Go around that way,” Ilie directed. “There’s a little private road that goes further up the mountainside—there, do you see?”
“Got it,” Becca said, and soon they were winding further up the road on a surprisingly smooth road. “Is this paved?”
“In stone, yeah,” Ilie said. “It’s about a hundred years old. My great-grandfather brought in masons from New York so it wouldn’t turn to muck every summer.”
Becca turned her head to look at Ilie. “This is a really stupid question, but your family is old money, isn’t it.”
Ilie grinned. “Well, you know. Dragons. We like our treasure. We hang on to it.”
Becca shook her head and got back to watching the road, thinking of Gus and Cara’s enormous house—not the mayor’s residence, but a family home, she’d realized while Cara was showing her around.
“We founded Gray’s Hollow—our last name was Dragomir then, like it says over the doors of the house. That’s why we all have two names. Ilie’s my Dragomir name. I’m Eli, in English, but I never really used that name.”
“What with being a dragon all the time,” Becca interpreted, glancing over at him, and Ilie smiled.
“Yeah. And I never really needed a place of my own to live, other than the caves where I keep my hoard, but…”
They came around a curve of the little road, into a smaller version of the clearing where Gus and Cara’s house stood. Becca looked up at another stone house, obviously built in a similar style. This one looked even more like a tiny castle, without the anachronism of a porch to soften its gray stone lines.
“We always called this place the cottage,” Ilie said, and Becca gave him a disbelieving look.
“Well, compared to the house,” Ilie jerked a thumb back the way they’d come. “It sort of is, right? Let’s go look around.”
Ilie got out of the car, so Becca followed him, taking his hand when he hesitated in the front drive.
There didn’t seem to be a key; Ilie touched the front door and it pushed open easily under his hand, and when he touched the switch by the door, lights came on.
Compared to the big house, she could see how this seemed like a cottage. The front door opened into a big central room, sparsely furnished.
Everything was covered in dust sheets, but she could make out chairs and a couch, and a table beyond, in what must be meant as a dining area. There was a doorway into a kitchen off that, and the stairs she could see led up to an open second-floor balcony,
with the doors that must lead to bedrooms opening off it, and hallways disappearing to either side.
“Cozy,” she said, turning to look at him, and found that Ilie was watching her anxiously.
“Do you like it?” he asked. “We could—well, I’d hate to knock it down, but—gut it, redecorate, anything. It’s mine. There haven’t often been two Dragomirs really living in Gray’s Hollow at the same time, but—this is mine. If you—we could live here. If…”
Becca pulled him down into a kiss to quiet the anxious rush of words.
“I love it,” she said softly, and she felt some of the tension go out of Ilie’s arms where they held her. He kissed her, and she was on the verge of letting herself get carried away when she remembered what Cara said.
“This is yours, right?” Becca repeated.
Ilie nodded.
“It’s… still yours?” she prodded.
Ilie went very still.
“You’re not giving it to me?” Becca insisted.
“I thought… we could share?” Ilie tried.
Becca kissed him again, looking up at him with her hands framing his face. She thought of the stories he’d told with Gus tonight—in nearly every one of them, he’d talked about being a dragon. That had been nearly his whole life, up until now. As happy as he’d been tonight with his family, and as happy as she was to be a part of it, she knew that this wasn’t everything he wanted.
“Ilie, are you going to be happy like this? Being human?”
Ilie’s gaze dropped, his expression turning serious. “Being a dragon was good, but—there was no future like that, living in the woods by myself. This is—you are—my future. Being human is my future. There’s so much more to learn, to feel, beyond what I could have before.”
“But you could fly,” Becca said. “And—you had Mouse. Does Mouse know this place?”
“He’s never been in the house, I don’t think,” Ilie said, his voice getting lower. Becca felt her heart nearly breaking at his quiet sadness.
“But my hoard is near here. I can sort of… sense him, and he’s somewhere nearby. I… I hoped having the lights on might draw him, but he’s staying away.”
“He’ll get used to you, won’t he?” Becca asked. “We’ll make friends with him all over if we have to.”
Ilie nodded. “He’s used to living in the woods, that’s all. He’s never had a house before either—he’s not even a year old yet, so it’s all he’s known.”
“We’ll find him,” Becca promised, kissing Ilie again. “We’ll bring him home with us.”
Ilie held her tight. When he whispered, “Thank you,” into her hair, Becca knew that she’d given him a gift too.
***
They went back to Becca’s little apartment over the flower shop, and Ilie lay in bed with her, watching over her until she was fast asleep. He hadn’t slept in a bed in a very long time, and he didn’t think he could do it tonight. Even with Becca so near, after a whole day in his human shape, his dragon was struggling to be set free.
And he could feel Mouse, still restlessly searching the woods for him. He couldn’t sleep while Mouse was out there alone.
Ilie kissed Becca’s forehead and whispered, “I’ll be right back,” in case she could hear him as he slipped out of her bed. She frowned and reached for him, but he tucked the blanket around her and she settled into sleep again.
He slipped outside into the soft, starry night. It was clear and beautiful, just like he’d predicted.
He could have one last flight near the stars, couldn’t he? One more time, while Becca slept, and then she would never know that he hadn’t been able to change all the way for her. He walked down the streets to the little park by the river. It was called Gray’s Landing for more than one reason.
Ilie found the center of the open space he liked. He slipped out of the soft clothes he’d worn to bed with Becca, and then he let himself stretch—really stretch.
His wings burst free from his back as his whole body expanded past its human bounds. His scales filled in where human skin wasn’t enough, his neck lengthening and tail growing to match. His teeth grew into fangs, his nails into talons, and in a moment he was himself again. He stood there in the familiar, comfortable shape of a great black dragon, nearly thirty feet from the tip of his nose to the tip of his tail.
Mouse?
Joyous, delirious barking answered him, and Ilie threw himself into the starry sky.
Sit. Stay. I’m coming.
He flew through the calm night air, barely noticing the usual weather cues. The storms would be bad tomorrow, but the sky would stay clear until morning. In the morning he would be back with Becca, in his human shape, under a roof.
In a moment he was landing lightly on the slope near the entrance to his hoard caves. Mouse was perched at the mouth of the highest one. He was sitting, and staying, as Ilie had told him to, but Ilie could see him quivering with happiness.
Mouse, come here.
Mouse burst into loud barking again, racing over to Ilie. The dog swarmed up over his forelegs and pressed against his chest, wriggling and wagging his tail with all the force of a tiny thunderstorm.
Ilie let out the rumbling sound of a dragon’s laugh, which no one but Mouse had ever heard. It would sound terrifying to a human, he knew, but Mouse just barked right back and rolled over onto his back. Stretched across Ilie’s forelegs, he wiggled this way and that, demanding belly rubs. Ilie obliged, rubbing his snout against Mouse’s furry ribs until the dog settled, panting happily.
They didn’t usually sleep in the open, but it was a fine night, and it had been a long day. He settled down to rest for a while, there beside Mouse. It was just the way they always slept, familiar and comforting, but Ilie couldn’t help knowing that something—someone—was missing.
Even now, his heart was tugging him back to Becca, down in the town, and Ilie knew he wouldn’t stay in his dragon shape for long.
***
Becca woke up alone in bed to the sound of her apartment’s door opening. She sat up sharply, but a second later she heard Ilie’s voice calling out softly, “Becca?”
He appeared at her bedroom door before she’d had a chance to think of what to say, and she realized that when she heard the door, he’d been coming back in. He was wearing nothing but a pair of pajama pants, holding a bakery bag and two cups of coffee.
Becca grinned and patted the bed. Ilie smiled back and settled in beside her after setting the coffees carefully on the nightstand.
“Hasn’t this town heard of no shirt, no shoes, no service?” she asked, looking from Ilie to the goodies he’d brought.
“Uh,” Ilie said, laughing a little against her hair as he cuddled up with her and started pulling pastries out of the bag. “Well. I think they were just letting me slide? They also told me they’d put this on my tab, since I still haven’t figured out… money. Gus gave me some cards and things last night, but I didn’t think to take any of it along when I went out.”
Becca grinned. “Sounds like you need a native guide to life as a human, Ilie.”
“Mm,” he agreed, nuzzling at her throat. “Any idea where I could find one of those?”
Becca leaned into him and picked up a blueberry muffin. “I could probably figure something out.”
***
They did get out of bed eventually. Ilie dressed in the loaned clothes—now including shoes—that he’d brought back from Gus and Cara’s.
“So,” Becca said. “Shopping?”
Ilie nodded, looking a little grim.
“Let me guess,” Becca said, remembering how shy he’d been the day before, nearly overwhelmed by a handful of senior citizens. He’d been comfortable with Gus and Cara, but they hadn’t really fussed over him, just welcomed him home.
“Is shopping in town here going to involve every single person we meet exclaiming over you being human now, and then exclaiming over you being with me, and asking when we’re getting married?”
Ilie winced. �
�That’s… likely.”
“Okay,” Becca said. “So, we have a problem to solve, because you need to buy stuff and you don’t want that much attention.”
Ilie looked at her like she’d started speaking Swahili.
“Ilie,” Becca said. “I know you live in a small town, but you’re not actually imprisoned here. We can go shop somewhere else, where people don’t know you and won’t bother you. There might be more people around, but they won’t all be staring at you. Would that be easier?”
Ilie still looked stunned, like it had never occurred to him. “I haven’t left Gray’s Hollow since… I can hardly remember. I was a little kid. We went to New York, and I shifted in the condo and refused to change back to go outside. I always wanted to fly the updrafts around the tall buildings. After that, I had to stay home.”
Becca’s heart squeezed at the thought of Ilie as a little kid—little kid dragon—wanting to explore a new place. She wondered if she and Ilie would have kids someday, kids who had wings sometimes, who wanted to fly. Would Ilie be able to change back to teach them how?
Becca had never wanted kids more than she did at that second, thinking of Ilie with them.
She shook off that thought and got back to the problem at hand. “Let’s get out of town, then. You don’t have to stay home anymore, Ilie, and there’s a whole bunch of world to see. A shopping mall’s not going to be the most exciting part, but we can at least get you a wallet. And maybe a telescope.”
***
Ilie bought a wallet and two telescopes. One was the very top-of-the-line consumer model, and the other was a shiny brass reproduction of an antique.
Becca was so far into sticker-shock that it wasn’t until they were out of the store that she thought to say, “Do you think you could bring that to the school to show the kids sometime?”
“Sure, of course,” Ilie said, his fingers playing absently over the wrapped shape of the brass telescope. “The school probably doesn’t have one this old, you can tell them what it was like for Galileo.”