Chapter 9
Connected
“Why are you here now, how did you know?” I asked her nervously. Just as all my memories from my dream started flooding back to me and I could remember everything. All of my past lives laid out for me to see in my tiny brain. I hoped I could get answers from her. How could all of those lives and all of those emotions not be real? They certainly felt real to me. She had tricked me into believing that Dr. Charlie really understood me. For once in my life I had felt like someone understood me. I also think it was all a trick for her to make me dislike Landon.
“You wanted me here right? You just remembered your dream. It wasn’t a dream really, it was a visit from his soul to yours.” She moved towards my side of the bed. “While your body is asleep and your brain is dreaming, most times you are visiting those from the past or they are visiting you.”
She sat on my bed beside me now and touched my pillow. Her feathers continued to mess up my room but they were so beautiful I didn’t really care. I liked the blue feathers on her the best but I knew that it probably was not a look that she preferred. She didn’t want to be a rebel, doing all the things that she was told not to do. She was a good Angel. Because of me she did not have her sign of innocence any longer. Her white wings were gone forever.
“I like pillows. They look comfortable are they?” It was the oddest question I had ever been asked.
“Are you asking me about my pillow? That’s a little weird. Don’t you ever sleep?”
“Don’t answer a question with a question. Just tell me. And no I don’t sleep. I never have and never will.”
“Sorry. I don’t know any different so pillows are great to me. So what do you do when I am asleep?” I figured now was the time to ask her the questions I was thinking so much about.
“You’re not my only human, Avery. I have many souls that I watch over and guide. You are, though, the only one who has seen me here in person on earth. But you know that right? You know that my wings are a different color because I have been breaking the rules to help you. You talked with Lillith.” I looked away and nodded. She didn’t look mad she just looked concerned. I didn’t really know how deep their rivalry really went but I knew they did not like each other.
“Yes she came to see me and I did really talk with her. She came to tell me about Landon. She did tell me why your wings are different colors. I am sorry that you feel that you need to break the rules. You don’t need to keep coming to see me.”
“Really, I don’t need too? Well thank you very much. Are you dumb girl? You can’t handle this on your own. You are not ready yet.” I got out of my bed and put on my robe. I was mad that she resorted to calling me names now. She really didn’t need to be here if this was what she considered being helpful.
“I didn’t mean that, I don’t know why I said it. Please sit back down let me explain.” She motioned me to the bed and I sat down beside her. I felt a deep connection with Ianni even though I didn’t really know her in this life. I understood that she came here to help me see through this strange time and guide me. I understood that before I came here I set out a path for this life and that that path did not include Landon. Not because I didn’t love him, but because I wanted to see what the world had to offer. I wanted to fall in love with someone who didn’t already know me, but wanted too.
“I don’t usually call humans names or act this way. It is happening because I am not so pure anymore. Also, your human influences are starting to seep into my vocabulary. I say and do things I never did before. Like wanting to lie on your pillow. That is something I never cared to do before now. I yearn to be more like a human because I have showed myself to you. It sort of opened up a part of my soul that has never worked before. It is a lot like a punishment to feel this way. So, back to you, why didn’t you drink your Yulu last night? You know you need it to sleep.”
“I know. I forgot.” It was the truth. I had been so preoccupied.
“I prefer talk to you in your dreams. Instead now I have to come here and have rainbow colored wings every time I do. It would be much easier on me if you just drink it. It was really bad of me to take over that doctor’s body. I got into a lot of trouble doing that. Once I explained why he understood though.” I didn’t bother asking her who “he” was. I figured it was another Angel, maybe someone in charge.
“If you knew it was wrong then why did you do it? What was the harm of letting me talk with her? I mean, you think it’s better for me to talk to Justin White some freak Psychic who is, by the way, dating my best friend?”
“If you would have told anyone but me what you talked about that day, you would have had a free trip to the insane asylum. Justin is not a freak he can help you connect with someone who you really need to talk to. Your mother.” I tried to interject, but she just kept talking. “And that stunt you pulled last night with Dallas, oh my you’re so lucky he is still talking to you. He suffered a deep loss and you are the first girl he is letting into his life right now. Please just proceed with caution.”
I felt bad all over again for what I did last night. That was so unlike me but I’ve suffered too and it’s hard to trust anyone besides Kerri and Aunt Paulina. Another thing Dallas and I had in common, the fact that trust was an issue. I knew we could learn together to trust and to get over our losses, together as a couple. I was suddenly excited to see him today and it didn’t matter that I had to meet his aunt. I was no longer nervous. Ianni must have known what I was thinking about, I could see her looking at me with a grin on her face. I focused back on her and what she came here for. What she felt was so important to visit me for.
“Listen carefully to what I came here to tell you. You are going to meet with Landon soon so there is something you need to know. He does not know who you are in this life. He doesn’t know that you were once Claire. He remembers pieces of his past life as Henry and his wife Claire. He was hit with these burdening memories once again at four years old. It was sad. He went through many tests and saw a lot of doctors because his mother acted out of fear. She didn’t understand why her son talked so much about Claire. Landon didn’t comprehend why he was going through this until he saw Lillith.” She sighed rolling her eyes “She came to him when he was older, an adult, and she told him she would help him unravel the memories, but she can’t tell him his future and she could never tell him who you are now or where you are exactly. That he had to find out himself. So he made it his mission to find you and he did what he could with the information given. She could give him clues but she is not allowed to tell him too much. Once he finds out everything she can help him revive all the memories from every life you lived together. ”
“Wait, when she talked to me she told me that he knew I was here. That he moved here to be with me. And that his cousin knew me.” I remembered the short conversation we had in Mr. Grey’s bedroom. She told me she would tell him she saw me and how I was and whom I was dating. Ianni broke into my thoughts.
“She was bluffing. She did that to lure you in. You see, if she gets you to go to him and tell him everything, then she doesn’t to do it. She thinks if she tells you how much he loves and misses you then you will run to him. You will do all the hard work just like all the times before. This way she wouldn’t even have to break the promise she gave as a Guide. If she breaks that promise then she will be expelled and she does not want that. Trust me, she thrives on this kind of stuff. Once you’re expelled you serve a different purpose as an Angel. Not one that she wants.”
“Why can’t she just leave well enough alone and stay out of it?” I asked.
“It’s all a game to her. He moved here because he wanted to start a new life, but she put a picture of your town on his desk and he thought it was fate. He flew here and uprooted his whole life. He wants to move on and stop these memories that he has. He felt if he moved to a new town and surrounded himself with new people that he would forget about Claire. He wants to fall in love with someone else. Meeting you on the road, well that was the d
oing of real fate. Not Lillith, Landon nor I. He liked you and he wants to get to know you. He has no idea that you were Claire. So proceed with caution okay?” I nodded my head and stared at the floor. Ianni slid off my bed and stood in front of me. She lifted my chin so I was forced to be eye to eye with her.
“You must understand what you have to do. It’s very important Avery. You hold the key to helping him move on. The ball is in your court. Lillith can’t do a thing, her hands are tied.”
“I’m just really confused and I don’t get all this. Why is this happening right now? I think I’m falling for Dallas. It’s what I have wanted for a long time. And now Landon wants to get to know me. That means there is potential for a relationship with someone who my soul knows, wants, and fate apparently wants too. It’s a lot to take in first thing in the morning. Then there’s you, I feel responsible for all your going through, what you gave up to help me.”
“Go see Justin White! Don’t worry about me I will be fine. Once we fix all this and help Landon it will go back to normal.”
In a flash she was gone. The feathers fell to the ground and I was alone in my room. I lay back down in my bed and rested on my pillow. Never did I feel luckier to have a pillow, as funny as that sounds. I felt a little sad thinking that Ianni witnessed all of the things we see as mundane, and she sees them as things she would like to feel or experience. Being a guide must be lonely to her. She has known her souls for a long time but we don’t really know her. We live our lives and never know that we are being taken care of or led through our life. The only time we see her is in our sleep. And half the dreams we have we never remember anyway. I felt special that she broke the rules to show herself to me.
I spent the rest of the morning thinking about Ianni’s words and how they started to make a little sense to me. Landon didn’t know me as Avery and that was reassuring. Poor Landon’s life has been haunted by, well, me. He should not be remembering me he should be living his life as Landon and not Henry. I felt like it was now important for me to show him that Henry is in the past and he needs to let go of it. I understood what I needed to do but it had to wait because today was about Dallas.
I rushed out the door, throwing my little blue cardigan on as I walked down the stairs. I decided to dress nicely today since I wanted to impress not only Dallas but his family as well. I choose a blue and green dress that Kerri had bought me for my birthday. It was not my style but as I tore off the tags I felt like it was time to try something different.
The drive to Dallas’ place was short and I was impressed with his neighborhood. It had a family like atmosphere that made me feel comfortable. I saw the house number but thought maybe I had turned on the wrong street because this big brown home that sat on the end of the street was too big for a lonely bachelor to call home. When I saw his truck and bike in the driveway and I knew that I was at the correct address. “How does a bartender afford such an elaborate home?” I asked aloud, to myself. When I reached the door it opened and Dallas stood on the other side wearing a big smile for me.
“And here she is, Princess Avery.”
“Stop, you’re going to embarrass me.”
“Oh come here and stop being silly.” He grabbed me and held me tight in his arms. He smelled amazing and his arms felt like they would never let me go.
“Are you ready to meet my aunt? She’s on the deck outside and we just started the coffee and breakfast,” he said. “Aunt Lisa is excited to meet you, so no need to be nervous.”
“You can tell can’t you? Well, let’s do it,” I said all the while trying to hold my composure. He led me through his foyer and through the dining room to the deck. The backyard had clean cut grass, bright colored flowers and a swimming pool with an attached Jacuzzi. I could never, in my wildest dreams, imagine Dallas living here. It was not what I expected, in fact it was much more than I expected. His aunt’s blonde hair was hard to miss as she sat at a glass patio table that was covered with all sorts of breakfast foods. Fresh fruit, eggs, toast, waffles, pancakes, hash browns and three kinds of juice. She looked up at me and she had kind eyes, a lot like Dallas.
She stood and greeted me, “Nice to meet you finally Avery, I’m Lisa.” I shook her hand and we both sat.
“Wow look at this setting Dallas, did your aunt do all this?” I asked jokingly.
“No, I did it,” he answered. “I do all the cooking. I love to cook its kind of my passion. Once I’m done with my classes I want to start my own restaurant.”
It was then that I realized how much I still needed to learn about Dallas. All along I thought he was just a lonely bartender and here he was, cooking all morning and dreaming of doing it for a living. All my preconceived notions were off.
“He makes the best waffles! Try them honey,” Lisa said as she started me a plate. I could see why Alyssa thought he was flirting with some beautiful girl. Lisa looked very young. She had long blonde hair and beautiful brown eyes. She could pass for at least thirty. I secretly hoped I would look just as good as she does someday.
She and I started to talk. We had a nice conversation, talking mostly about her move her to California and how much she is thankful to Dallas for giving her somewhere to stay. She was very delightful and easy to talk to. She did mention how she drank too much at La Costa the other night and how she had to be driven home. As she said it I looked at Dallas and he had a big smile on his face. He was telling the truth and I breathed a little better now. After about an hour Lisa excused herself and said she wanted to go into town and do a little shopping.
Now it was just Dallas and I enjoying the warm day and the sunshine. We sat in silence, not an awkward silence but because we were comfortable with each other.
“Well, I have to ask, how you afford this house and the vehicles. I just don’t get it.” I said shamefully. I felt like I was being rude by asking him about his finances.
“This was my parents’ house that they bought after I left for college. When they died they left it to me, along with the motorcycle. That was my dad’s toy. The truck was always mine. The house is a bit much for just me right now but I hope to fill some rooms with family someday.”
I swallowed my pancake and took a sip of juice. I couldn’t hide my smile. This was all very reassuring, that he really wanted a serious relationship.
“I want to learn more about you. Like what you studied in college, what you were like in high school. I don’t even know your last name,” I told him.
“I can answer all that for you but before I do let’s put all this in the house and get going to the garden. I have a few surprises for you.”
I grabbed all the plates I could and we walked into the house. Once I stepped in, I looked up and saw someone standing in the kitchen. I dropped all the plates on the floor. Food flew everywhere and so did glass. Dallas pulled me back so I didn’t step on any.
“I’m sorry Dallas, I don’t know why I did that,” I lied. I did it because Landon was in Dallas’ kitchen eating a bowl of cereal.
“Hey don’t worry about it! Let me clean it up. You sit down, Landon and I got this.” He led me to a barstool at the counter and he grabbed a broom and some paper towels. “Oh, I’m sorry. This is Aunt Lisa’s son Landon, Landon this is Avery my um my, friend,” he said with a nervous tone.
He didn’t know what to call me and I didn’t want him to call me his girlfriend, not to Landon. I was in a very deep predicament here. I have dates with both guys on different days and they end up being cousins. Not to mention Landon is my old husband. I wanted to run away and never show my face again. Landon smiled at me and he helped clean up the floor.
“I’m going to take this glass to the outside trash I’ll be right back,” Dallas said.
Landon continued to clean the floor and he never looked into my eyes.
“I didn’t know you were cousins,” I finally said.
“Yeah, it’s a small world I guess. So I guess were not on for our date. That sucks.” He looked almost sad. I didn’t know what to sa
y, my mouth didn’t seem to work right. I watched him clean my mess and never once did he look up at me or say another word. When he walked out of the room Dallas came in.
“Okay clumsy let’s get out of here before it’s too late. Let me tell my cousin goodbye.” He led me down the hallway into Landon’s room. It was quite large with a desk, at which he sat, a bed, two dressers and a walk in closet that had hardly any clothes. I saw his leather jacket lying on the bed. The same one he wore the day we met. It had looked so nice on him. I felt completely horrible, yet I felt good. Happy to see him and view him as a harmless man rather than some crazy stalker. At the same time I seemed like a player to him and that was not my intention.
“Landon, I will be out for a while so if you need me give me a ring okay?” Landon nodded and continued looking at his computer. Dallas walked out of the room and I followed like a lost puppy. When I looked back Landon looked up at me and smiled. I smiled back and left the room. We got into Dallas’ truck and I felt like I should have said something more to Landon. What kind of an idiot I was to say so little? He was obviously upset that we would not be going out together and I remembered what Ianni had told me about him wanting to move on with his life and start over. Even though I was whom he wanted to escape from, he didn’t know that. Now I wanted so bad to know him and see what kind of person he was this time. I was falling right back into the same trap.
Chapter 10
Stars
“Uh, I think I left my cell phone inside, I’m going to run in and get it.” I didn’t even wait for a response. I just left the truck and ran into the house. My heart was racing, what was I thinking? I ran into Landon’s room and as I pushed open the door I started to tell him that I really still wanted to show him around the town and that there was no harm in that. But my words got lost when his lips met mine. He kissed me and wrapped my hair in his fingers. My body went warm, my head spun, and I felt weak and helpless. We kissed for several seconds before he pulled away. When he did I didn’t want to open my eyes. I wanted to stay right here forever. I felt a spark of fireworks through my whole body.
The Many Lives of Avery Snow Page 8