“I don’t recall asking any questions that needed you to answer them. Why do I need you here? I have a Spirit Guide.”
He reached out and slightly touched my face. I shuddered at his touch. His hands were cold and clammy. He was beautiful and hideous at the same time. I had never seen anything like him. He was not like Ianni or Lillith. They had intimidating features sure, but they were not terrifying. They were Angels and this was no Angel. He may have had wings but I could tell he was not from Heaven.
“You feel so scared. Please don’t be. I’m not here to hurt you Avery. I’m here to help you. I have an offer for you. One everyone receives in times of need. Guides like me always reach out to the souls like you. We always visit dreams and try to help. You are in a time of need. Your life on earth is a living hell.” Then he started to laugh again. “Oh, sorry, I was just thinking about that stint you pulled on Dallas. Poor guy. You are a real bitch. I mean who kisses someone’s cousin and then tells them all about it? Talk about dragging him through the mud. Poor guy, oh well.” I stepped back looking around still for Ianni. She should be here. I needed her.
“Stop it! I have Ianni and if you don’t go now I will call for her.” It was all that I could think to say. I hoped that it would work but I knew it wouldn’t. If she was going to come she would have been here already.
“Oh no! Not your spirit guide. Oh lets call her together shall we? Ianni, Ianni, Ianni! Come out, come out wherever you are!” He was mocking me. He was pretending to be scared of her. I knew then that if this type of Guide wasn’t afraid of Heaven Angels I was in trouble.
“She isn’t coming Avery, she knows better. She and I don’t mix. You see her powers can’t stop me. She is just a life coach, not a powerful Angel. You see there are several jobs in Heaven and hers is the minor leagues, its minimum wage.” He was taunting her and it was making me even more mad and fearful.
“Stop it! You don’t know anything, you’re not an Angel. You’re an impostor,”
I spat.
“You know so much do you? Well let me tell you something little girl, I was an Angel. I sat at the highest seat in the council. My job was very important.”
He was now shouting and his voice was booming through the room. My head was hurting from the sound. I had to wake up, that is what I had to do, but it wouldn’t work. I had drank the Yulu tea and I knew I would be asleep for a while. It was worthless. I tried to run again and my legs were still stuck.
“You can’t go anywhere. You’re here with me for a while babe, so just sit back and relax.” He waved a chair underneath me and my knees gave way and I was forced to sit.
“So if you were so important then what happened? You said you were an Angel. What the hell are you now?” I was trying to act as if I was not scared to death but I don’t think it was working.
“Please wait and hold all questions. I will get to it in time. Just shut up and let me talk. You see I sat in the council. I was part of the ReLife council. We made the decision on whether or not humans would go back and reincarnate. I was on the highest seat, meaning I was the one who ultimately made the decision, but that job became so very tedious after the thousands of years I did it. I wanted to be with the human’s. I envied the Angels, like your Ianni. I wanted to guide the spirit and help them on their path. There was something so magical about seeing your human spirit born into the world and watching them grow, helping them along. I was so sure that my human’s would be great. I knew that not all of them would go on the right path. There is always that chance that they would go bad. You know, turn out to be murderers or drug addicts and really mess up their life. Once they came home we would send them to the Receivers and from there they would be kept under strict surveillance and they would be rehabilitated. Once that happened it was up to the ReLife Council to decide on whether to send them again. Most do not go back. Most of them stay Home and live there.”
I was so confused I had always thought the bad guys go to Hell. Was I to believe this lunatic?
“Oh yeah the bad seeds go to Heaven. Everyone does. Jesus died for our sins Avery. Even the worst come Home. Hell is for those who sign their souls over to Lucifer. Most soul’s can be saved. The ones that can’t don’t go back to Earth. They stay Home and learn to live again. It is so beautiful there. Rolling hills, trees, statues, monuments even oceans. It’s a lot like Earth except there is no pollution from cars, no anger, no killing, no death, its absolute freedom and beauty. And it is torture.” He screamed the word torture like he was in pain.
I jumped out of my chair and he threw me back in it.
“You know sadness, don’t you? Your mother died, your father didn’t want you, no boyfriends because you can’t trust anyone. And your best friend is so wrapped up in her boy toys that she doesn’t have time for you.”
“Stop it you don’t even know me. You’re not going to invade my dream and try to scare me.” My hands were starting to tremble. I kept telling myself that it was just a dream and that I would wake up soon enough.
“I am not here to scare you. I am here to help you, I already told you that. Now let me finish my story,” he yelled, spit flying from his twisted mouth. I was stuck here with him and there was nothing to do but listen.
“I pleaded with my superior to change my job. I wanted to be a Guide or even a Watcher. Either one, it didn’t matter. I wanted to help the soul’s on Earth. I knew it was meant for me but I was turned down countless times. So I stopped working altogether. I just didn’t want to do it anymore. Now that was odd. Here I was in the most beautiful and peaceful place in this universe and I wasn’t happy. Gee, maybe being told how to do things for all that time made me a little angry.”
His face darkened and he turned away from me to look around. My dream this time was in the old house but it had a scary tragic look to it. Like it had been in a fire. The walls were charcoal gray, tapestries hung with holes and the floor was filled with ash.
“I choose to leave and become human. It was the only option that I could find that would benefit me. So I was sent to earth. I had no family, no friends, no guides. I was alone. I was what you call homeless. Sent here as a man, not a baby. Not born like you human’s are. Being sent here as a man was not easy. I had no home or job. I lived on the streets for several years. And then I met him. He was so full of life. He was once like me. Lived in Heaven and was cast out because he was not happy. He was sent here as a man too. So he started looking for help. For another way of life.”
“The Devil?” I interrupted.
“No silly girl, his name was Benjamin. He was once an Angel but he sold his angelic soul and being for eternal happiness. Oh what a life he and I lived, for centuries. We can now live forever. No death. Just life.”
“Then if you’re not an Angel why do you have wings?” I pointed to his deep, black wings. They were quite beautiful and gothic. He unfolded them and they began to flap hard. Feathers flew everywhere and the dark gray room started to come back to life. Colors were now alive. His darkness turned everything to light. I put my hand in front of my face to shield it from the feathers.
“I’m a guide of a different sort. I am an Angel, just not a heavenly Angel. I work for someone else. The wings are so cool aren’t they? I guide the lost, the broken, the damaged and the needy souls here on earth. The one’s who do not find the answers that they so long for. Like you Avery. You need help don’t you? You have no one. You’re all alone, a meek and mild girl, with beauty that no one can see. You had a few chances at love and well you blew that. Landon will try to get you again, and you just might let him, but really is that the life you set out for this time? Dallas, he will not forgive you for what you did. You cheated. He hates cheaters. Your mom is gone, your dad is gone. Aunt Paulina well she is getting closer to death every day. Yep she will leave too. Just like Kerri will. She will get married have kids all while you stand by alone and watch her. You can have more. I can help you. I will be your new Spirit Guide. I can guide you into a life that you want. Anything
you want.”
He was now starting to dance around me as I sat in the chair. He was acting like a crazy person. I knew not to listen to his lies. I kept calling Ianni in my head, hoping for a sign from her. I was so terrified of what he was going to do to me. It was the scariest nightmare I had ever had.
“If you want Dallas, I can give him to you. A life with a love like that. It would be remarkable. Do you want beauty; I can give you that too. Do you want Landon? Sure you can have him. I will erase his memories and he will never know about your past lives. That would be nice, right? Everyone gets the choice in their life. The Angels like me visit all souls who are lost. We turn them into movie stars, rock gods, business executives, billionaires. We help them be whatever they want. You don’t think that these people actually have talent, did you? Nope, we give them all they need. Hollywood is our creation. They live forever. No death. The city of Los Angeles. Better known as lost Angels.” He didn’t even pause to take a breath probably because he was dead inside.
“They were once lost soul’s who came down from Heaven. Like you, they chose their path and life took over. Their Guides forsake them time and time again. Then they end up lost. That’s where I come in. I help them cut the ties of their so-called Spirit Guides. What is it you want Avery?”
I took a breath. A deep, painful breath. I don’t even think I took a breath the whole time he was talking to me. So what he was saying is that all the actors, actresses, models, famous people all over were from his creation? They sold their souls and became whatever they wanted. He also said they did not die. I have seen many famous people die. How could he explain that? He was telling me that he could give me whatever I wanted? What was the price I would have to pay? There had to be a catch, there always was. Look at some of the famous people, they don’t have it all. Harassed by photographers, no privacy in their lives. Some of them get hooked on drugs and alcohol. Hollywood was a dark place. I knew that without talking to him. But then again, some were not like that. Some were kind and giving. There was no way he was telling the truth right?
“What do they do after their very public deaths?” I nervously asked him.
“Reincarnation my dear. What did you think? Your kind was the only to relive your lives?” He laughed again, that terribly haunting laugh.
Suddenly the bedroom door flew open and Landon was standing there with his arms open to me. He looked scared to death as he stared up at Dedrick but he still acted brave. He motioned to me to run to him. I was unsure what to do at this moment. I knew in the fibers of my soul that Dedrick was bad news. Yet I was a lost and lonely soul. I had lived a life of grief, had no friends left. It was true about Kerri. She was falling in love and even I knew he was going to be her future not me. I ruined my relationship with Dallas and Landon. Landon, when I think back to our past lives, he is familiar and loving to my soul, but this life, I didn’t even know who he was anymore. And I was told to stay away from him. My chair edged closer to Dedrick without even realizing it. My mind was pushing me closer to him. His offer for some odd reason was sounding good to me. I was going mad. How could I think this is real?
“What the hell are you doing Avery? Get away from him. Come to me. He is selling you a bad deal. Please.” He begged and pleaded for me to come to him. I wanted to go but my legs were stuck. It was impossible to move.
“She is weighing her options Landon. Let her make up her own mind will you. You know she doesn’t need you! She is a grown woman.” Dedrick was taunting him now.
“Shut up,” I yelled. Just then I was able to stand up for myself. My legs started to work and I got out of the chair.
“Keep going Avery. Tell him to go away and leave us alone. He has no choice but to leave if you tell him. Don’t believe his lies, he can’t promise you anything.”
I looked to Dedrick and a smile came across his face. He just stared into Landon’s eyes. He was terrible, I knew it, but I also knew my life was terribly messy.
“Go away leave my dream. You are not welcome here. I live for me and no one else. I will go to Heaven when I die.” I could barely talk, fear was muting my voice, but at least it seemed to work.
“As you wish, but I will come back if you need me.” He winked at me and he was gone. I fell into Landon’s arms, just collapsed, and then I woke up.
Chapter 13
All the Answers
My eyes burned once I opened them. My breathing was heavy and I was sweaty and cold. I jumped out of my bed, turning on every single light in my apartment. I was totally consumed with fear beyond any fear I had ever felt. A dark demon of a man was just begging for my soul. Trying to end my soul forever so I could have a better “life” on earth. I wanted to say yes to him. The whole time I felt a need to say yes. Like it was being pulled from my mouth. All the while hating him and myself for wanting a new start. A new life with no more pain. Just pain and sorrow in the afterworld. Dedrick did not say so but I knew that’s what I would be signing my soul over to. To spend my afterlife in Hell. He didn’t have to say a thing. I felt Hell spew from his mouth.
Suddenly a knock on the door made me jump and scream. Was he here for me again? He was probably mad that I told him no and he was here to hold me captive until I said yes to him. Could he sense that I wanted to say yes? I slowly walked to the door.
“Who is it?” I asked when I had my hand on the door handle. It was 2:00 in the morning. Who could be here now? It had to be the evil Dark Guide.
“Avery, it’s me Dallas.” His voice sounded tired and strained. What was he doing at my apartment? This was not a good time to talk. Not for me, not after what I just went through. Would I tell him what just happened? He would know something was wrong with me. I opened the door and tried to hide my fear behind a crooked smile.
“Wow it’s really late, or early, what are you doing here?”
“Avery, what’s wrong? You’re shivering.” He touched my face. His hands felt so comforting on my skin. “You’re soaking wet. Are you sick?”
He came in and practically pushed me onto the couch. He turned on my ceiling fan and gave me a blanket that hung on my chair. It felt good for him to be here with me. I felt a lot better, just seeing him had made me feel instantly better.
“Dallas, did you just get off work?” I asked.
“Yeah, I did. It was the worst night. I couldn’t think about anything else but you. I’m sorry that I didn’t say anything to you before you left my house. I was just in shock, I didn’t know what to say.” He looked down at the floor. “I admire you for your honesty, I really do. I didn’t know what to say then and I still don’t. I just know that without you I feel sort of lost. Before you came into my life…”
I had to stop him before he said anymore. I stood up the blanket falling onto the floor.
“No, please don’t I can’t do this right now. I can’t hear you end this right now. I just went through something really traumatic and I can’t be broken up with too.”
“Would you just sit down and shut up? I am not breaking up with you.” He paused. “Oh, sorry for telling you to shut up. That was wrong.”
I just laughed. I didn’t take offense, I needed it. Someone to wake me up out of my delirium. He was so cute. Sitting on my couch with his brown eyes looking glassy and tearful. He was crying and he didn’t even try to hide it. Only a real man could cry in front of a girl.
“I don’t think that what you did was very nice, but you are right. We were not technically in a relationship. I wanted to be, but I knew you and I were just dating. Basically I do feel a bit confused as to why the two of you kissed, but I did what you asked, I thought about it. And I love you. I forgive you.” He leaned into me and kissed me. It was soft and comforting exactly what I needed. He loved me, and he forgave my mistake. I was so happy right? This is what I wanted right? I thought of Landon and how he just risked his life to save me.
He came into my dream to help me because he loved me too. He would follow me and help me forever. I knew he would always be there
for me. I kissed Dallas harder this time. More passionately showing him my love for him was real. Like I had to prove it to him. He picked me up and carried me into my room. He laid me into the bed and shut off all the lights that I had previously turned on. When he returned he had two aspirins and water. I took them hoping that my weird fever would dissipate. I asked him if he would go with me to Kerri’s party and he said yes. He would have to call out of work but he said it was worth it.
He took off his shirt and climbed into the bed with me, kissing me and caressing my hair. He knew I did not feel well. He nuzzled into my neck and he fell asleep. I did not. I was too scared to see Dedrick again. I knew I felt safer with Dallas here in my bed but I knew he could not help me in my dream world.
I left the house for work at 8:00 and left Dallas asleep in my bed. I was as quiet as I possibly could be, practically tip-toeing around to get ready. I left him a little note saying, “Thank you for forgiving me. XOXO.”
The drive to work was very calm and I just listened to the sounds of the wind through my open windows. No music today. I felt so much better in the daylight. I knew for some reason that I was safe and Dedrick could not get to me. When I pulled into to the parking lot I saw a small black BMW in my parking spot. So I pulled into the one next to it. It was Kerri and Justin. I got out hoping to avoid having to talk to them. I didn’t want to talk to Justin until tonight. I knew I had to talk to him at their party, I just didn’t want to now, but I was too late. They caught me.
“Hey girl,” she called. “Come check out my new purchase.” The car was hers. I looked at my car, then back at hers. Yep, I was jealous. “What do you think, isn’t it really pretty? Justin said it was just perfect for me.”
She was really excited. Justin smiled and waved at me. He got into the driver’s side and she kissed him goodbye and ran to catch up with me. I didn’t think Justin noticed that I did not wave back. The two little lovebirds were in their own world. I was more than happy to have her taken care of. But really, why a psychic? Couldn’t he be a musician or a writer? I mean if she was looking for someone totally different than the types she usually went for how could she say that Dallas’ job wasn’t a real job, look at Justin? I did get a good look at him and he was very normal looking. Nice clean cut hair. Nice clothes. He was very good looking.
The Many Lives of Avery Snow Page 11