“You are not at fault; no one is, now look at me,” he demanded.
“No, I am at fault! We both were. You wouldn’t have done this if I didn’t leave you. If he would have left me alone. Left us alone.” It was all true. If Cooper would have only done what Landon is willing to do now for Dallas and I. Just let us be happy. If only he could have just done that then Garrison would not be hanging here in front of me now.
“Please darling, open your eyes. I promise you it’s all okay now.” At these words I did what he asked. I opened my eyes. Instead of seeing Garrison I saw Dallas hanging from the beam. I was too terrified to scream. My throat was suddenly wrenched with pain.
He was smiling and he switched from Dallas back to Garrison and then back again. I closed my eyes and opened them once more. Was this some trick?
“It’s me. I am back and we are together again. My soul is elated! Happy and healed, to be here with you. You make me feel this way. Don’t be scared my darling. You did what your soul knew best. You went with your Affinity. I don’t blame you for that. But this lifetime I have you and we will be together forever.”
The next thing I knew I was being shaken awake by my father. He stood over me, shaking me and yelling. I couldn’t make out the words. All I could hear was the terrible sound of wood creaking, of Garrison hanging himself.
Chapter 18
Go Away
“Avery, falling asleep was reckless, and irresponsible.” Ianni’s voice was so loud I was sure everyone on the street could hear her. I just tried to drown it all out. I was done now. I was done with these Spirit Guides, the Dark Guides, and my father, all of them. Who was she to call me reckless? I couldn’t control my sleep. I just wanted my apartment and my bed. I wanted to go to bed and forget that all this happened. I was simply giving up. Waving the white flag, hoping someone would see it. Please somebody see it. Someone in Heaven. God or my Watcher perhaps? At this very moment I felt defeated and done. Even though I had not even tried to defeat Dedrick or even tried to move on with Landon as my so-called-friend. I had felt like I had lost a battle. A battle of my past life. Learning that the man that I gave myself to completely was now a love from my past as well. I could not deal with all this news anymore.
I stood up pushed everyone away from me. It was all very slow motion. They didn’t even fight me. They just let me walk past them. I stormed through house and right out the front door. I kept walking and walking until I found myself at a park. I didn’t even know how I had reached this place. I didn’t know my way around this town. I didn’t even know my way around my own life so it was just the way things were right now.
Then I saw it. A flash of light, just like the one outside my apartment building. This light was very similar and I knew darn well that this was no reflection off of a car or kids messing around. This light was meant for me, just like the first one was. So like before I followed it into the park. This park was very different from the one at home. It ran right alongside the main beach. The smell of the ocean filled my lungs. Breathe, Avery, breathe.
I kept walking into the park until I found myself on a cliff, surrounded by palm trees and a bench. The light was gone. I looked around and I didn’t see it anywhere. It was as if it vanished or I had imagined it all. I sat down and then I felt a peace, a calm, come over me. Looking at the waves of this beautiful ocean. Listening to the seagulls call and the children play down on the shore below. I saw a family of four play with a soccer ball. I also saw an older couple standing together with their pants rolled up and their toes in the sand. They shrieked when the cold water ran over their feet. I laughed. Simple things in life like that seemed so far away from me. It seemed like I would not get to play in the sand or feel the ocean on my toes while holding my love’s hand.
I knew who would get to. My best friend Kerri, I was happy that she would be able to enjoy life like a human should. I wanted all of this for her. For me, it seemed to escape my grasp more and more everyday. I was now living the paranormal. Living in a life of constant strange and the utter unbelievable. I closed my eyes, just focusing on my best friend and all the visions I saw for her life. Little kids, a big beautiful home filled with nice things. Justin treating her like the princess she was. She deserved it all. I no longer felt jealous of her, but just simply happy.
It was then that I felt it, a hand on my shoulder, but when I turned there was no one there. I tried to convince myself that it was just in my mind. I wasn’t exactly stable at this point. When I closed my eyes again I didn’t care if I fell asleep. Let Dedrick come, let him take me. Let him do what he wants. I don’t care. My life this time is over and I will not return. I can’t keep going through this again.
“My gosh child, stop feeling so damn sorry for yourself would you?” Now I knew that I wasn’t imagining this voice. His was one you could not forget. Mr. Grey. He was sitting right next to me. He was wearing a track suit of sorts. It was god awful ugly, but he seemed to like it because he sat proudly.
“Mr. Grey, what are you…?”
“Listen, don’t you start asking what am I doing here or why am I not in my place. Those are stupid questions. Come on girl, you have been dealing with the supernatural for how long now?”
“Um, a few months I guess.”
“Nope, wrong answer! Try your whole life.” He was being very smart assed, so true to his nature. I suppose he was right. My whole life had been surrounded by weird.
“Your mom is fighting for her place in line, do you understand that?”
“What? How do you know anything about me or my mom?”
“Honey, I’m the one you’re looking for. I am your Watcher. I know everything about you. I finally had to get you alone and tell you who I was. Instead of focusing on your task, like you should be, you’re too busy running away and feeling sorry for yourself.”
All I could do at this moment was laugh. I knew it was the wrong thing to do, but this was so funny and exciting that laughter just blurted out of me. He looked very serious and unhappy but I couldn’t help myself.
“Compose yourself Avery. We have things to discuss and a lot of work to do. Your mom is hoping for you to fulfill your duty and you have a Dark Guide on your tail.”
“Yes, I’m sorry. I am just so happy. I saw this light and it led me here to you. Are you the light?” It was all making sense to me know. He was guiding the light, he had to be.
“I had to show you things or else you would walk right by them.”
“What are you showing me here? You?”
“No. I brought you here so you could see beauty in life and stop feeling sorry for yourself. So things are a little complicated right now.” A little complicated? Did he know my life well? “But you have a job to do so stop sulking. You have a life awaiting you. Once this is over you need to live it. You have to just be strong and fight. I know you can. I have seen you do it before.”
I was still in awe that my Watcher was lonely, cranky John Grey. The words he said, they did make sense but I just wanted to jump off the cliff in front of me. I needed a good slap to get me back to my reality. So, my life was complicated, I could do this, I was strong. I thought of my Aunt Paulina. She was always telling me I could do whatever I wanted in life, she was my own personal cheerleader. It was then that I realized I needed to go home. I had to get back in touch with her and Kerri. I had a job I had to get back to. I could fight Dedrick and deal with everything else and still live my life. Right?
The next thing I knew I was standing in my living room my head dizzy. I looked around. I was alone. No one was here. It was just me and my home. I grabbed the phone and called my aunt. Of course Miss busy-all-the-time didn’t answer so I left a quick message along the lines of, “I’m okay, just checking in. Call me.” The next call I made was to Kerri.
“Hello, this is Kerri.” She sounded so professional on the phone.
“Hi it’s Avery.”
“Oh my God what’s up?” Not so professional now. I had to laugh.
“
Listen, I can’t talk long. I have to get some sort of rest, it’s been crazy lately. I just wanted to check in and tell you I will be there for my shift tomorrow.”
“Avery, take all the time you need. Really, it’s no big deal. I have coverage. Rachel has been taking good care of Mr. Grey.” Another thing to laugh at. Mr. Grey wasn’t really a resident after all now was he? I wondered where he was right now. Was he there pretending or was he somewhere else? With his being my Watcher it made me ask a lot of questions.
“Hello, you still there?”
“Oh yeah sorry. I’m just tired and my mind is wondering. If you’re sure about me not coming in tomorrow then I will just stay here and rest.” I wondered what she thought about me being super tired and not coming in.
“Avery listen, I don’t know exactly what is going on but I know that you’re not well. So take some time off. I have it covered and you have not taken your vacation time this year. Take it now and go away for a little mini vacation. My parent’s cabin is still open. You can go there for a few days to get away.” It was just like my best friend to be so helpful. Her parent’s cabin would be a perfect place for me to get away and for all of us to get our plan together. And hopefully once it’s all over Dallas and I can spend the rest of the time there, just the two of us.
“That sounds so great Kerri. You know I will be better soon and I want to go dress shopping with you as soon as I get back. So don’t go without me okay?”
“Did you really think I would go without you? Come on Avery, you’re my maid of honor.”
“I am? Really?”
“Well who did you think I would ask? Rachel?” We both started cracking up at the thought of Rachel being Kerri’s maid of honor. I was more than happy to think about the upcoming wedding. Focusing on a normal future was something I had not done since Lucy died. My life was in an uproar of sorts. Maybe shaving my memory would not be so bad. I shook my head at that thought.
“Can I go up there tomorrow?” I asked.
“Avery you can go today if you want, it’s all yours. Don’t worry, I have an appointment for dress shopping as soon as you get back, so it’s perfect timing really. Okay, I gotta go. Love ya!”
“I love you too girl.”
Chapter 19
Mini Vacation
I literally started packing my bag before I hung up the phone so I was done packing in less than twenty minutes. I had everything I needed for my little mini vacation. This was going to be perfect. Now I just needed to tell everyone my plans. I didn’t know how to get a hold of my father, Ianni, Lilith or Mr. Grey, but I knew who lived right downstairs from me. Whether or not he was home remained to be seen. So I put my shoes on and went to check. When I reached his door I stood there for a few moments. I wasn’t too sure that I wanted to knock. It was so hard to see him and I had stormed out of my father’s house like some sort of child and then disappeared without telling them.
The door swung open and Lillith grabbed me and pulled me into the apartment. It was almost completely empty. There was no furniture in the living room but there was a table with one chair. How sad. One chair. Not two or four. No one to share a meal with. No one to talk with or play cards. Now that we were friends, though, technically we could play cards and share a meal.
“What is going on with you? Do you know how worried we all have been?” Lillith’s voice almost sounded as if she was really worried about me, as a human, and less worried for me as Landon’s love.
“Well I had to get out. I went for a walk.” I looked around and Landon was in the kitchen peeling an orange. He didn’t seem worried about me. So much for friends.
“A walk? Well I hope that walk was worth it because we have been all looking for you all day.”
“All day? I just got here an hour ago, how could you be looking for me all….” My voice trailed off as I looked out the window that now showed a dark night. “Wait, what time is it?”
“It’s near 8:00,” Landon answered.
“But how could that be? I was just at the beach and then I met up with Mr. Grey and he sort of transported me home. I swear Lillith.” I felt so confused.
“Mr. Grey who is he?” Landon asked, all of a sudden sounding like he wanted to talk instead of being anti-social.
“He is my Watcher.” Then I explained how I walked down to the park and followed the light and Mr. Grey appeared to me. I also told him how I knew him from Sunrise Estates and how I got home and called Kerri and found a great place for us to go make plans for how to save Landon.
When I was done Lillith just sat there without speaking, her wings sort of fluttering, sending loose feathers onto the carpet. She apparently had nothing to say. Landon handed me an orange and I tore into it. It was so good and as soon as I was done he gave me another. Our hands touched and I felt a shock. A swirling of feathers surrounded us and another vision came, whether we wanted it or not.
I was on a bed in a beautiful apartment. In a huge bedroom, with a window that looked out to a beautiful view of the mountains of Vermont. It had snowed the night before and it blanketed the ground. I felt a pain in my arm and looked down. Once again my arm had blown up to the size of a balloon. That was when I just pulled the IV out myself. I was so tired of being tied up to machines. I just wanted to die in peace with no cords or attachments. Just Adam by my side. I tried to call to him but my voice escaped me. So I grabbed the buzzer and pressed the button. Within seconds he came in, his dark hair so disheveled and messy that I had to laugh.
“What is so funny Elsie?”
“Your hair! When is the last time you brushed it?” He tried to slick it back but it kept falling into his eyes. “Its okay, you’re still handsome. Now come here and help me would you?”
Once he took one look at my arm he flipped out. He didn’t like the thought that I was dying. I heard his prayers by my bedside asking God to give my cancer to him. He wanted to switch places with me. He knew it wouldn’t happen but he asked every night. I, on the other hand, was ready to go. I was tired of the pain and this life. He fumbled with the IV as it leaked fluid all over my sheets.
“Iris? Iris can you come in here?” He called to the nurse. She was so sweet. A single mother who did this for a living. How sad and tragic to watch someone die.
“Oh Elsie, what did you do?” She took my arm into her warm hands and bandaged it up. Then she tried to find a vein in the other arm. It was impossible to do, my veins were gone. They had given up just as I had. They had fought as long as I had fought and when I gave up so did they.
“Iris stop. I don’t want the damn IV anymore. I don’t want any of this shit.”
“Elsie please,” Adam pleaded. He knew I was giving up.
“No! No more please Adam. I don’t want to fight anymore. I have fought. I gave the greatest effort and now I want to enjoy the first snowfall without beeping machines and IV’s. I want you to take me out to the snow. I want you to leave me in it until I melt away with it.”
His eyes watered and Iris did as I asked. She unhooked every machine. I had a very strict plan in place and when I told her it was time she was to do as I asked. And she did.
Adam just sat and watched as my attachments came off, tears running down his cheeks, but I had a smile on my face for the first time in months. It was the first real smile.
“Adam, take me outside now. I want to feel the snow on my face.”
“Okay Elsie I will take you out for a little while. If that will make you happy.”
“You have made me happy Adam. Nothing else in this life. Not one second was I happy without you.”
We stood there for a moment with our hands still touching. Our eyes locked onto each other’s. It was the first vision of Elsie and Adam that we had shared together. I was suddenly struck with a horrible sadness. I felt so sorry for Elsie and Adam. Their time together was so short and it was stolen away from them. I remembered feeling the sadness. Feeling the pain of having to say goodbye to him. I didn’t really have a really strong memory of our
time together. My past lives were to me like dreams. I could remember bits and pieces but not the whole thing. It seemed so foreign and unreal.
I couldn’t take it anymore so I stumbled backwards and left the apartment. No one came after me as I almost ran back to my apartment. When the door was shut I slid down it and cried. But as I looked up I saw a shadow pass over the floor. I dried my eyes so that I could see. Maybe it was just a shadow from the trees. Who was I kidding? Someone was here with me I felt it. I stood up.
“Hello?” I called out, as Ianni came out of my kitchen. I jumped almost out of my skin.
“You scared me almost to death!” I shouted at her.
“Sorry. Are you okay?” She came up to me and put her hand on my shoulder. It felt nice to have her here. I fell into her arms. She just stood there for a moment, without hugging back, but then I felt her arms wrap around me.
I woke up on the couch in a panic. Sweat beaded on my forehead and nose. My clothes stuck to me. I looked around for Ianni and she was not there. I had dreamt but it wasn’t one that I remembered too well. I did remember something but I couldn’t quite place what it was. I stood up and looked out my window. Still nighttime.
I walked, or dragged, myself to my room. Undressed from my dirty sweaty clothes and got into the shower. I started it cool and then increased the temperature to warm. It felt nice to be alone in my home but I did miss Dallas. And strangely I missed my father too. I needed to contact him and let him know I was okay. Something told me he knew already though.
After my shower and after I was in my comfy clothes I settled in on the couch with a bowl of ice cream. I was done with sleep for the night. I was too afraid. I didn’t need to chance any encounters with Dedrick or anyone else. I turned on the TV and flipped channels until I found a good Lifetime movie. A love story of course. It wasn’t hard to stay awake. I had gotten very used to it by now. Not long after I found myself watching yet another sunrise. The mornings were getting chilly. The weather was surely changing. I walked into the apartment and my phone rang. It wasn’t normal to get a call so early so that had panicked me.
The Many Lives of Avery Snow Page 16