Allie’s eyes widened. “No!” Her mouth dropped open. “You think I . . . how could you think such a thing? Killed him?”
“You said all would be well. That you would not be marrying Covington, and then—”
“No, no, silly. Of course not. Goodness.”
Her shoulders sagged in relief. Her sister’s tone and the look in her eyes both attested that she was telling the truth. When she lied, Allie tended to look down at her feet.
Thank God.
“Wait, then . . . what do you mean dead? And how did you plan to—”
“We received word two days after you left. In fact, it happened while you were visiting us. He apparently rode off a cliff in the midst of a heavy rainstorm. Can you believe it? Gillian, I am the worst person in the world. A man is dead, and I confess, upon hearing it, I felt only relief.”
“Then you were still betrothed to him?”
“Well, of course. You know I was.”
“But you said . . . you said you would not be marrying the earl. That you had a plan.”
She’d been so stupid. How could Gillian not have seen what was so clearly on her sister’s face before?
“You were going to marry the earl.”
“Please, please, listen to me. I am so sorry. You have no idea how horrible I feel for lying to you. I normally would never do such a thing. You know I love you and—”
Gillian clenched her hands to stop them from shaking.
“You planned to marry him.”
“I know you, Gillian. You would not have stopped until something terrible happened. In fact, the moment father told me about the betrothal—”
“Something terrible? Allie, the something terrible would have been you married to that man.”
“Father told me everything. How desperate he was to save Lyndwood. The awful lies he told on the last Day of Truce.”
Gillian turned from her sister, not wanting to hear it. How could she have been so blind?
A goshawk swooped down in the distance. And though Gillian couldn’t see it from here, of course, she could easily imagine the bird’s red eyes and white eyebrows were perpetually set in a fierce expression.
Like her father. To be admired but also feared.
She turned back to Allie. “You did this for Father?”
Gillian understood her motives well. She’d spent a lifetime trying to please the man. To prove to him that women could be strong.
“And for you,” Allie said. “I knew you’d have no hope of convincing Father to change his mind. And I guessed at your plan too. The implications . . . Gillian, don’t you see? I could not let you do that to your husband. Your new clan. To everyone who has a stake in this fight for peace at the border. Even Father.”
“What do you mean?”
“Father had been making some very poor decisions—”
She gave her sister a sharp glance. “Such as your betrothal?”
“But I do believe they tore him apart,” she continued. “You should see him, Gill. He is not the strong man we know. Mother says she has never seen him this unhappy. He is still the man who wants peace, who loves the borderlands. Who loves us.”
“He loves Lyndwood more.”
Allie shrugged. “Perhaps. Or perhaps he sees Lyndwood as a part of us, necessary for our family’s happiness.”
“You still haven’t told me how you came to be here.”
Allie reached for her hands and squeezed them.
“He is ruined, Gill. Father, I mean. When we received word of Covington’s demise, the look on his face . . .”
Of course, no wedding meant no dowry.
“Oh, Allie.”
“I begged him to let me tell you in person. Of course he said no—”
“You came without his permission?” Her sister had been bold in the past, certainly more so than Gillian herself, but to come to Scotland—
“Nay, of course not. The guards would never have accompanied me without his approval. ’Tis just as I’m saying. I begged and begged . . . I wanted to see you. To get away from it all for just a bit. And he actually said yes. Can you imagine it? The same man who would not allow us to visit the market without a contingent of men large enough to withstand a siege. But he agreed. ’Tis what I’ve been trying to tell you.”
Her poor sister. She’d been through so much. Gillian let go of her hands and embraced her, not wanting to let go. She could feel Allie’s heart beating against her own. Her sister was here. And safe. And would not be wed to Covington.
There would be time enough later to consider her parents and what this meant for them. For now, she just wanted to be with Allie.
And to tell her husband that they would be having a guest.
A very extended stay if I have anything to say about it.
29
Graeme had purposefully given Gillian and her sister space, and had instead spent the afternoon with Fiona, who was eager to get out of bed. Though she claimed to feel better, he was taking no chances and had ordered her to rest. That order, and the fact that he was her chief, was the only thing keeping her abed.
He returned to his chamber and changed his clothing to prepare for dinner, waiting for Gillian.
She did not come.
Impatient, he wandered toward the parapet where she and Allie had been standing for some time, but it appeared he’d missed them.
He needed to speak to his wife. She had seen the look of doubt cross his face, he knew it, and while he could not deny that he’d entertained a moment of doubt, the moment had passed just as quickly. Gillian would not have betrayed him. Although Allie’s arrival came as a surprise, Gillian was worried about her, and he was pleased she’d come to Highgate. Whatever the explanation, he would have it in good time.
Opening the door to his room, he greeted Morgan, who appeared to be lacing the back of his wife’s gown, relief for having found her washing over him.
“I will finish,” he said. Morgan curtsied and scurried from the room.
He took the laces in his hand, explaining before she could even address him.
“Forgive me if I believed the worst for the briefest of moments, Gillian. I know you wouldn’t betray me.”
She didn’t turn, but his declaration must have caught her by surprise. Turning just enough for him to see her profile, she said, “You do not trust me.”
“Despite so much that has passed between us, lass, I’ve known you less than one month. But even so, I do trust you. I know you would not purposefully lie to me.”
And surprisingly, it was true. Gillian was not the type of woman to lie.
If he could only show her how he felt . . . he would lean down, move her hair aside, and kiss her neck. Of course, he’d not stop there.
“Covington is dead,” she said.
Finished, Graeme dropped his hands, which he hadn’t consciously raised, not quite sure what to do with them now. “Dead?”
“Aye. An accident apparently, he rode his horse over a cliff.”
Graeme walked toward the chair closest to him. Standing so close to his wife, knowing he wasn’t to touch her, physically pained him.
“Good.”
Gillian’s jaw dropped. “A man is dead—”
“A despicable man.”
Gillian frowned, two adorable lines appearing at the creases of her mouth. And what a mouth it was. God, if he could not—
“Graeme? Are you listening?”
Indeed, he had not been. “Nay.”
That did not appear to be the right answer.
“I could have lied and said aye,” he said. “But just as I know you are truthful to me, I promise to always be honest with you. So nay, I was not listening. I would apologize, but the thoughts I was having about your mouth—”
Gillian’s frown deepened. “This is serious,” she chided.
“As is my need to feel your lips beneath my own. To coax them open, make love to your—”
“Graeme!”
He was making it worse. Gra
eme extended and crossed his legs, hoping the activity would help focus his thoughts. “Covington is dead. And Allie no longer betrothed, I assume?”
For a moment, he thought she would punish him by keeping the remainder of the details to herself. But she finally relented.
“She is not. And of course, my father is devastated. They will lose everything, Graeme.”
He’d have said, “As he deserves,” but he held his tongue.
“I am sorry, lass. But you’ve done everything you could to prevent it.” And then something occurred to him. “What was Allie’s plan then?”
Gillian’s expression fell, her shoulders shaking ever so slightly. Tears welled in her eyes. Unable to stop himself, he leapt out of the chair and went to her.
“There was no plan,” she sobbed out. “She was prepared to marry him.”
Graeme took her in his arms, holding her as the tears began to flow. When she wrapped her arms around him too, he tightened his hold.
“She did it for me. For Father. And Mother too. She loves us all so much. But she knew—”
Gillian never did finish her thought. Instead, she sniffled against his chest. He pulled back and wiped her cheeks with the back of his hand.
Perhaps he was getting better at being a husband. For instead of saying, “She knew coming here would be too dangerous,” he once again held his tongue.
She pulled back, no longer crying, and looked at him oddly. “Why are you smiling?”
Why indeed?
“I was just thinking that your sister is a remarkable woman. You realized she attempted to sacrifice herself for you. For us.”
Gillian nodded.
“You like her then?” she asked, hope in her eyes.
“Very much. Though I know little of her.”
And for the first time since he had entered the chamber, Gillian smiled.
“Good,” she responded. Appearing satisfied, she blurted, “Because she will be living with us.”
Gillian sat between Graeme and Allie, waiting for the final course to be served. After her grand announcement, she hadn’t given her husband a chance to respond. But he did not appear to mind. Indeed, he’d accepted her sister so readily, Gillian wanted to reach out and touch him now, just as she’d wanted to do these past few days. Embrace him. Kiss him. Make love to him.
Graeme had accepted her preposterous proposal, and in a way, it had accomplished its intention. But couldn’t they get to know each other and be intimate as well? Of course they could. She had just been too afraid to admit it. Afraid they’d married too quickly. Afraid she would fall in love with him, only to find out he was more like her father than she’d thought. She would tell him as much that night.
Everything felt so clear to her, so right, now that Allie was here. Gillian was only sorry Aidan had left that morning to meet with Toren Kerr at Brockberg Castle to discuss Douglas’s recent visit. She had no doubt the two would get on splendidly. If it were not for her parents and Lyndwood’s fate, she would have been extremely happy.
“Gill, look.”
Forced out of her reverie, Gillian followed her sister’s glance. “Do we not have a similar tapestry at Lyndwood?”
Both she and Graeme studied the tapestry in question.
“Aye,” she said. “’Tis very similar.” She’d noticed the same thing soon after her move to Highgate.
Graeme grinned as he looked at the finely-woven piece. “Do you know the story behind the scene?” he asked her sister.
“Nay,” she said. “Do you?”
“Aye,” he said, taking a drink of ale as a servant placed a tray of nut tarts on the table.
“The unicorn represents the tamed beloved. Though he’s tethered to a tree and constrained by a fence, the chain is not secure and the fence is low enough to leap over. The unicorn could escape if he wished. His confinement is a happy one. And do you see the seed-laden pomegranates in the tree?”
“Aye,” Allie replied.
“They are a symbol of fertility and marriage, as are the wild orchid, bistort, and thistle.”
When Graeme looked at her, Gillian was prepared to smile. When she had spied the tapestry on that first day, her interpretation had been very different. Gillian had assumed the unicorn was trapped. But it was not so.
Was it an omen, perhaps? A symbol of a marriage that had begun out of necessity but grown into so much more.
But his smile had vanished. In fact, Gillian had never seen such an expression on his face before.
“Graeme, is all well?”
Clearly, it was not. Even though he tried to smile, something had changed him.
“Of course,” he said, unconvincingly.
“Ours is quite similar,” Allie said again, oblivious to Graeme’s distress.
“Is it now?” he asked politely. “Tell me of it. Perhaps I can decipher its meaning.”
As her sister and her husband spoke amiably, Gillian thought of the sudden change in Graeme’s expression. What could possibly have come over him to warrant it?
She looked at the tapestry again.
Was it something there? Another meaning behind it, perhaps?
Well, she would find out soon enough. As soon as the meal was finished, Gillian would make her excuses to Allie so she could learn what exactly had so discomfited her husband. And then she would talk to him about their agreement.
And afterward . . . Gillian smiled in anticipation.
He wasn’t coming.
Graeme had said he needed to speak to the armorer after dinner. Allie, tired from her travels, had gone to her bedchamber, and so Gillian had returned to her own room after a quick visit with Fiona. Morgan had assisted her with her gown, and she paced the empty bedchamber now, waiting for Graeme.
How much time had passed? Eventually, she crawled into the empty bed and waited there. When it became evident Graeme would not be returning, Gillian simply could not lie still. She turned on her side, and then her back, and then her other side. She slammed her eyes shut, wishing sleep would take her so that she could stop worrying. It did not heed her.
Finally, unable to lie still, Gillian jumped back out of the bed, grabbed a candle in its stand, and scurried down the corridor to her sister’s bedchamber. After tapping on the door, she pushed it open and entered the room.
“Allie?”
The room was dark but for a brazier in the corner of the room. Gillian smiled. Both she and her sister loved to fall asleep by firelight, regardless of the time of year.
“Allie?” she called again.
“Gill, is that you?”
She’d already been asleep.
Gillian put down the candle and made her way to the bed. She felt along the edge and carefully lowered herself onto it.
“I can hardly see you,” Allie said. “What’s wrong?”
That was the problem. “I don’t know.”
She told her everything that had happened between her and Graeme, from their first meeting to his odd behavior at dinner.
“He seemed perfectly pleasant, Gill.”
“But he has never not come to me at night. We’ve always had that, from the start. Even when all else seemed so uncertain.”
“Then why did you take it away?”
That was the very question she’d been asking herself all evening. “As I told Graeme, we hardly had a chance to get to know each other before we married. I thought perhaps—”
“Being less intimate was a way for you to get to know him better?”
“Aye, at the time it made sense to me.” Sighing, she turned onto her side, facing Allie, and adjusted the coverlet. “But I suppose it was not the best of plans.”
“So why did you really do it?”
“I am afraid.” She could see only the outline of her sister and was glad for it. “I’ve fallen in love with my husband.”
Allie chuckled. “And that is bad?”
“Nay, of course not. But I don’t believe he feels the same way. In fact, I know he does not. When I asked
him—”
“I know, you told me of that discussion. But have you considered that he doesn’t know how to give ‘all of himself’? Has he been married before?”
“Of course not.”
“Then maybe Graeme feels much the same way you do.”
“He’s not said so.”
“Well, have you?”
“Nay, but—”
“Gillian, you are the kindest, most patient woman in the world. You’re an amazing sister and will be an even better wife.”
“But?” Her sister had more to say.
“You must stop thinking there’s something wrong with you. Father made us feel that way, but I’ve come to realize Father only pretends to be perfect.” Her sister sat up until the side of her face was swathed in the dim light from the candle. “Just like you and I do for him. You do not have to win your husband’s approval, Gillian. You already have it. The only wrong you could do is to hold back when you want him to do the opposite.”
Silence fell between them for a time.
“Tell him how you feel.”
Finally, Gillian smiled in the dark. “How did you come to be so wise? ’Tis I, the older sister, that should be advising you.”
“As I’m sure you will one day.”
Her sister was right. The time for half measures was over. Gillian would not just tell Graeme why she’d insisted on their forced abstinence. She would tell him that she loved him.
“Do you mind if I sleep in here?” she asked her sister. “I don’t know why Graeme hasn’t returned, but I’d prefer not to sleep in our bed alone. ’Tis so big and empty.”
“Of course I do not mind.” Allie leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. “Good night, Gill.”
“Good night, Allie.”
Gillian closed her eyes, more determined than ever to make things right.
30
“I am leaving for Dunmure to find a new healer.”
Graeme had not thought Gillian would return to their bedchamber before he left, but she’d walked in minutes ago, looking poorly rested. When he’d returned to the bedchamber last night, late enough to ensure Gillian would be sleeping, he had been startled to discover that she was not in their bed. With Fiona now occupying the lady’s chamber, she would not be there either. A few hastily asked questions and tense moments later, he’d learned his wife had been seen entering Allie’s room.
The Warrior's Queen (Border Series Book 6) Page 20