by Emma Lang
“Grady, stop, please!” Eliza tried to keep him still, but he shouldered her back. She landed on her behind and stared up at him with frightened eyes.
“You should be afraid of me, woman. I told you more than once, I ain’t a nice man,” he snarled, full of so much hate and pain, he could almost taste it. “I found out long ago from my own mother not to trust a woman. After my sweet mother had my father killed, she married, then murdered three more fools.”
The memory of the funerals, the grieving widow pretending to sob by each grave site, made his stomach cramp so hard he nearly vomited. “By the time I was fifteen, I’d had four different fathers, five broken bones from her beatings, and the know-how to kill. The bitch drank herself to death, so I burned the house down with her body in it and left. I’ve been killing, hunting, and surviving.” He felt himself slipping into a frenzy of hurt and pain, unable and unwilling to let the past go. It had been his constant companion, his cross to bear for so long. Until Eliza.
She jumped on him, straddling his legs and leaning onto his shoulders. He bucked, trying to shake her off, but she held fast.
“I’m not going to let you do this. I love you, Grady, no matter what you’ve done, or who you’ve killed. You could have killed Angeline when you found her in Bowson, but you didn’t. Inside you is a good man, one who is capable of so many things. The man I love.” Her tears fell onto his cheeks. “Do you hear me? I won’t let you go.”
“Let me be.” He sounded so small even to his own ears. The life he’d led had brought him nothing but darkness, until Eliza. His heart had never beaten before, until Eliza.
Grady didn’t understand any of it. He was trapped in a twister whirling around and around until he lurched to the side and vomited. Eliza’s soothing voice murmured to him as she brought his head to her lap where he buried his head and wept the darkness away.
Chapter Fourteen
Grady slept beneath the tree, exhausted by the emotional storm he’d endured. Eliza felt shaken by the experience, by witnessing him exorcise the personal demons that lurked inside him. He’d had some horrible things happen to him, and for that she cried for him.
Angeline sat by the fire and watched her. “You’re different.”
“It’s that obvious, I’m sure.” Eliza smiled sadly. “I can hardly believe it’s been less than a month since I left Tolson.”
“Is it him? I mean, was it him that changed you?”
“Yes and no.” Eliza gazed into the fire, memories of being with Grady, of learning from him, loving him flashed through her mind. “I found an inner well of strength I didn’t know I had. There is so much I want to tell you, but now isn’t the time.”
“I don’t understand what’s happening.” Angeline took Eliza’s hands. “Please let’s just leave here together.”
“I can’t. I know you don’t understand, and I wish I had time to explain it to you. The situation is making me choose between the two of you. By helping you escape, I’ve already chosen you. Yet I can’t simply leave him. I love him.”
Angeline’s mouth opened and closed. “You what?”
Eliza had to make Angeline understand. “I love him, and I know deep down he loves me, too. Believe me, I performed a ridiculous amount of arguing with myself about what I’ve done, what he’s done, and what we did together. After all of that, I decided I must stay with Grady because I love him. It doesn’t matter if we’re together for one night or thousands of nights. My place is by his side for however long we both live.”
“I’m scared for you.” Angeline took Eliza’s hands. “He’s a dark man, Eliza, and scary, too.”
“He doesn’t scare me any longer. I can see underneath that mask he shows everyone else. Believe me, there is a good man in there and I love him.” Eliza knew she was risking everything, including her life, on her feelings for Grady.
“Are you sure? Really, really sure?” Angeline might appear to others as pretty but empty headed, but she wasn’t. She was simply soft spoken and kept her thoughts to herself, unlike Eliza who spoke too much.
Eliza hugged her sister. “I’m very sure. Now you must be on your way before he wakes up.”
Angeline walked over to Melba, wringing her hands and looking scared. Eliza took all the food supplies and the full canteen and followed her sister. Reluctantly, she used her pulley system to remove the bag of books and her own traveling bag from the saddle and set them on the ground. Then she removed the contraption and tucked that into her bag. The saddle was ready for Angeline.
“You must go now. Ride toward Bowson and find Lettie, then keep going as far as you can. I’ll find you, I promise, but you can’t stay here now.” Eliza didn’t want to let her sister go so soon, but she had to.
“I still wish you would leave with me.” Angeline peered at the inert form beneath the tree. “We can send someone back from town to help him later.”
Eliza’s throat tightened as she realized she was about to be separated from her sister again. “Now let’s get you on your way. Melba is an old horse, but he’s got a good heart. He’s been nothing short of amazing the past weeks. I know he’ll be your trusty steed as well.”
Angeline eyed the horse with skepticism. “All right, but I hope he makes it back to Bowson.”
Eliza patted the horse’s neck. “Melba has more heart than ten thoroughbreds. He’ll take you where you need to go.”
She tied the bag of food and canteen to the saddle, then turned to her sister. “Please be safe. You and Lettie need to be so careful because I don’t think Josiah is done yet.”
Angeline nodded, her eyes huge in the moonlight. “We’ve done pretty well so far, until today anyway. We even got jobs at the restaurant in Bowson. Never thought serving food to Father would give me enough practice to work at a restaurant.”
Eliza managed a shaky smile. “I love you, Angeline. I will find you again.”
“I love you, too.” Angeline let loose a little sob as they embraced.
Eliza held on to her sister for a few minutes, savoring the knowledge she’d succeeded in what she’d set out to do—save her sister’s life. Now it was up to Angeline to be vigilant and keep herself safe.
She cupped her hand as Grady had done for her numerous times. “Here, use my hand to mount.”
Angeline stepped on her hands and made it up onto Melba’s back with grace. Eliza had always envied that about her sister, but now she was glad of it. Whereas horsemanship had always been hard for Eliza, it had come easily to her younger sister.
“Thank you for everything.” Angeline glanced toward Grady. “Be careful.”
“You, too. Good-bye for now.” Eliza’s throat grew tight as her sister rode off into the darkness and soon she was swallowed by the night.
It was time to wake Grady and convince him the rest of their lives awaited, together.
Grady listened to the sisters say good-bye, then to the sound of the woman he’d been chasing for weeks as she rode away on the ancient nag. He lay there and did nothing.
Nothing.
He felt wrung out from going loco earlier and had even closed his eyes to try to find his way back. Grady wasn’t used to being out of control, and he sure as hell didn’t like it. Eliza hadn’t untied him, dammit to hell, and he lay there like a crying fool.
Embarrassment didn’t sit well, and he wanted it over, now. When she walked back to him, he heard her soft footsteps in the pine needles, slightly stirring the leaves scattered throughout. Her scent, that of lavender and Eliza, caressed him as she sat down beside him.
“I know you’re not sleeping, Grady. There are signs when a body is conscious rather than unconscious.” Her matter-of-fact tone irked him.
“Aren’t you the smart one?” he mumbled. “You don’t need to keep reminding me of how much you know and how much I don’t.”
She touched his cheek. “I only know what I read in books. Everything else I’ve learned from you.” Her fingers were cool against his hot skin.
He snorted. �
��I don’t know if I believe that.”
She lay down and faced him, her breath gently brushed his mouth as she spoke. “You spend a great deal of time making sure everyone knows what a terrible person you are.”
“It’s the truth.” Over and over again.
“Open your eyes, Grady.”
He didn’t want to, really didn’t want to.
“Please.”
Her entreaty plucked at his battered heart, so he complied with her request.
Eliza’s deep blue eyes seemed almost black in the shadows of the firelight. Within the depths, he saw so many things, he wanted to shut his eyes again.
“I can’t be who you want me to.”
“You already are. Please understand that I don’t expect you to change.” She ran a finger along his brow. “I never knew what being alive felt like until I met you. The man I fell in love with is right in front of me.”
His chest hurt as he tried to absorb what she was telling him. “I’m not going to love you.”
“Oh, Grady.” She sighed and kissed his forehead. “You already do.”
He didn’t answer, not that he could have even if he wanted to. There was no answer he would accept. He couldn’t love her, because it wasn’t possible for him to love anyone. Grady lost the ability long ago, if he ever had it. Yet he had been content with Eliza when they traveled together. She fit beside him, under him, and with him.
She’d betrayed his trust by lying to him about her sister. He didn’t know if he’d ever forgive her for that. He’d done many things in his life that qualified as unforgivable, so he was something of an expert. Eliza had deliberately deceived him for weeks, even to the point of knocking him out and tying him up.
Betrayal was so damn bitter.
“I was in an untenable position. I love my sister and had to help her, but then I fell in love with you. I had the unenviable task of picking her or you.” Eliza started unbuttoning her shirt. “I made sure she survived, and then I picked you.”
His heart started thumping harder with each button she freed. Her words started to echo through his ears. “You picked me?”
“Yes, I did. You see, I gave her Melba and sent her away to hide from Josiah. Now that she knows what he’s capable of, she can protect herself.” Eliza leaned forward and kissed him.
Her lips were soft, warm, and wet, and felt like an angel’s kiss.
“Stop.” A feeble and ridiculous response.
“No, I won’t stop. I need to prove to you that I am yours, that I have given up everything to be with you.” She met his gaze. “I even left my bag of books in the dirt.”
Her books? She left her books in the dirt for him? The beloved books she carried across the Utah terrain instead of practical things she could have used?
He could hardly believe it.
“You’ll go back and get them.”
“And then what? I don’t have a horse. There’s just you and your bay. If you don’t give me a ride, then I walk.” As she pulled her shirt from her skirt, his entire body clenched.
He wanted to tell her to stop again, but found that his mouth would not form the words.
“Don’t give them up for me. Jesus, Liz, can’t you see there’s no future for us? I’m a gun for hire, a man who kills people for money.” His voice was hoarse from shouting, from the emotions that overwhelmed him.
“Oh, Grady, we can do anything, live anywhere. It doesn’t matter where or what, as long as we’re together.” She licked her lips, and he moaned deep in his throat.
“What are you doing?” he managed to say.
“Seducing you, giving you my love and my body, to start our future together.” She took off her shirt, and he began trembling. “Is it working?”
“No.”
She stepped out of her skirt, and he realized she wore only the lacy chemise, the one she’d worn the day he’d given her the ring. Blood rushed through him, making him light-headed.
“I think it is working. Let me in, Grady.”
“Isn’t that what I’m supposed to say?” He wanted to run, to tell her he hated her, to escape from the onslaught of her gentle seduction.
He couldn’t.
She nodded. “Perhaps it is, but you don’t need to ask me at all. What I have, what I am, is already open to you.”
Eliza pulled off her chemise until she was completely naked in front of him. She was beautiful, ethereal in the moonlight like a fairy creature in front of him.
“Untie me.” He didn’t want to be seduced while he was her prisoner.
“Not yet. I want you to accept my love, to understand that I am giving you everything I am.”
“What does that mean? Liz, untie me.”
“No.”
Grady wanted to scream at her, to tell her to put her clothes back on. Truthfully he didn’t want her to stop, he just didn’t want to be at her mercy tied up. It still rubbed him the wrong way that she was able to tie him up in the first place.
He hated her for making him weak.
He loved her for making him feel.
Eliza rose from the ground, naked, and walked over to pick up the knife from Grady’s pile of things. She had to let him loose, had to take the chance he would accept the gift of her love.
He watched her with a dark, glittering gaze. The firelight had burned down to embers, casting him in deep shadows. His clothes were askew after all he’d been through, including being dragged. She wanted to straighten them, but knew he would protest loudly if she tried.
She cut the ropes binding his feet first, then set the knife down and knelt behind him. Her skin broke out in a clammy sweat as she helped him to a sitting position. What he did when he was free would determine what happened in their lives.
Did she go too far? Did her deceit destroy any chance they had together? Had his?
Too many questions and no answers. With her mouth as dry as the desert, she reached for the ropes on his wrists. They were covered with blood, and she sucked in a breath of pain for him.
“Oh, Grady, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” Tears pricked her eyes as she tried to untie the knots without hurting him any further.
“Just cut them.” His voice was strained, harsh.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“It’s too late for that, Liz. Just cut the goddamn ropes.”
With a sob stuck in her throat, she picked up the knife and carefully cut through the knots she’d tied. Eliza had no idea just how tight she’d made them, or how well she had secured him. Her anger had made her cruel.
He flexed his hands as she freed them. Eliza stood and returned the knife to the scabbard. She heard him rise and fix his clothes.
Nude, she had no defenses, no way to stop him from doing whatever he wanted. She had to give herself over, body, heart, and soul to him.
She trembled before the fire, her back to him as she waited for him. He walked toward her, and her heart stopped beating when his hands closed around her throat.
His hands rested on her skin, the blood making them tacky against her neck. He could kill her in a split second. There was nothing stopping him except himself.
“I love you,” she whispered.
“Eliza.”
He fell to his knees, letting go of her neck, letting go of his anger. She turned to face him, and he wrapped his arms around her waist. Tears fell freely down her face as Eliza accepted his love in return.
Grady Wolfe had found his mate.
Epilogue
December 1873
The cabin was nestled in a perfect valley covered with rich green grass in the summer and a foot of snow in the winter. Guardians of towering trees protected the brook that meandered through the property. A small barn with a new corral completed the picture.
Eliza stepped outside of the house and shivered against the cold. She pressed her scarf to her mouth, and still puffs of her breath sneaked through into the blue wool. The scarf wasn’t thick enough, but Grady had purchased it for her to match her eyes,
so it was her favorite.
Her boots crunched on the snow as she walked slowly to the barn with a pail of water dangling from her hand. It was the day before Christmas, another holiday she hadn’t celebrated in her life. Truthfully being with Grady was like a holiday every day.
She slid the barn door open and stepped in, closing it quickly behind her. It wasn’t snowing yet, but the sky was threatening to start any moment. Eliza wanted to get the animals fed and watered before she had to shovel her way to get to them.
“Good morning, Daisy.” She stopped at the cow’s stall first and rubbed her nose. “I’ll milk you in just a bit.”
The brown-eyed milk cow had been their first purchase after settling in their house. Eliza had missed having fresh butter, cream, and cheese. Although he listened when she taught him how to do farm chores, she knew he really didn’t want to touch Daisy’s teats. That was okay with Eliza because her own were much more interested in his touch.
With a smile born of contentment, Eliza went to Bullseye’s stall first. The bay had seemed to adjust nicely to being off the trail. She filled his water trough, then moved to the next.
Grady had surprised her with a new horse, a mare with a sweet disposition and a mane as dark as her own. The white blaze on her nose was the only color Midnight sported. She came right over to Eliza and nuzzled her as she filled the water trough.
“Good morning to you too, girl. Hungry?” Eliza checked to be sure the blanket was secure on Midnight’s back before she stepped back out to get the feed.
As she filled a scoop from the sack on the crate in the corner, she couldn’t help but think of how different her life was. A year ago, she had been living under the iron fist of her father, unhappy and trapped. Now she was married to the man she loved, living in a cozy cabin, spending her days cooking and enjoying life, and her nights making love.
Nothing could be more perfect except for one thing. She had a Christmas gift for her husband and couldn’t wait to give it to him.
After she fed and checked on the horses, she took the now empty bucket to Daisy’s stall. The cow was lowing with impatience to be milked. Eliza didn’t ever think she’d enjoy milking a cow, but she did now.