Jamie had been taken from them in a tragic accident, and with his going their ways of grieving had not been the same. Hers had taken the form of a great sadness that she’d borne in silence, while Ben had been filled with anger at what he saw as the injustice of it, and it had turned him into someone she didn’t recognise.
Instead of comforting each other, they had become suffering strangers and in the end, unable to bear it any longer, she’d asked for a divorce. Still fighting his despair, he’d agreed.
He’d offered her the house but she’d said no as it wasn’t a home to her any more. She’d packed her bags and gone to take up a position as a GP in a pretty Cheshire village that was far away from the horror of those months after Jamie had drowned.
When Ben came back with the tea he put the cup and saucer down and, with his arm around her shoulders, bent to raise her upright. ‘I never expected to see you actually here in the house again when I set off for the cemetery.’
‘Neither did I,’ she murmured, and as she looked up at him their gazes met and held, mirroring sadness, pain, confusion…and something else.
There was no sense or reason in what happened next. He bent and kissed her and after the first amazed moment she kissed him back, and then it became urgent, a tidal wave of emotion sweeping them along, and they made love on the sofa on a surreal August afternoon.
When it was over, he watched without speaking as she flung on her clothes, and when she rushed out of the house and into her car, he made no attempt to follow her.
It wasn’t until after Nicholas had come to stay that Georgina had realised she was pregnant. She’d been feeling off colour for a while, nauseous and light-headed, but busy as ever at the practice hadn’t thought much of missing her monthly cycle as she had always been irregular, initially putting it down to stress.
All the signs had been there—tender breasts, tiredness, morning sickness—and she’d faced up to it with a mixture of dawning wonder and dismay while carefully concealing it from her house guest. It hadn’t been too difficult as, although she’d been five months along by the time he’d returned to America in the New Year, she’d barely shown at the time. Even James hadn’t realised until she’d told him. Now, however, at eight months, her bump was there for all to see.
Knowing Nicholas, he would have felt he had to tell Ben if he’d found out about the baby, she’d thought, and she’d needed time to adjust to the situation that had come upon her so suddenly. Every time she thought about the wild, senseless passion that they’d given in to on that August afternoon, she wanted to weep. They’d lost a child born in love and gentleness. Under what circumstances had this one been conceived— loneliness, opportunism?
As the weeks had passed, the knowledge that she wasn’t being fair to Ben had pressed down on her like a leaden weight until the night she’d written the letter. After that she’d felt better, and had begun the ritual of watching out for the postman every morning, but there’d been no reply.
She could have called him. It might have been easier. But she was afraid that she might give herself away on the phone, and she just had to tell him face to face. No matter how they’d parted after losing Jamie.
It had been Jamie’s attachment to his football that had sent him careering over the edge of the riverbank. The ball had started to roll down the slope where she’d parked the car for the two of them to have a picnic.
She’d turned away to lift a folding chair out of the boot, and as she’d been erecting it had seen him, oblivious to danger and ignoring her warning to keep away from the edge, running towards the swollen river.
It had all happened in a matter of seconds and as she’d flung herself down the slope after him and shrieked for him to stop, he hadn’t heard her above the noise of the fast-flowing water.
She’d nearly lost her life trying to save their son and when she’d been dragged half-dead from the river to discover that she was going to have to carry on living without him, she’d wished that she’d died, too.
Ben gazed at the letter in his hand. Each time Nicholas had visited since that August afternoon, he had asked him where he could find Georgina, but he’d reluctantly refused to tell, explaining that she’d made him promise never to pass on that information.
It hadn’t been hard to believe when Ben recalled how she’d never come near the house apart from that one time when he’d found her at Jamie’s grave. Whenever he’d seen fresh white roses on it he’d known that she’d been just a stone’s throw away from the home they’d shared together, and the despair that had become more of a dull ache than the raw wound it had been during those first awful months would wash over him.
He’d thought bleakly that what had happened between them on the day he’d caught her unawares in the cemetery hadn’t seemed to have made Georgina relent at all, and if Nicholas wasn’t prepared to break his word to her, it was going to be stalemate.
On his last night in London his young brother had asked, ‘Why are you so keen to find Georgina afer all this time?’ And because there had been no way he was going to tell him what had happened, Ben had fobbed him off by telling him that some insurance in both their names had matured.
That had been in early January, and when Nicholas had flown back home Ben had gone to work in Scandinavia for a short while. He’d always been somewhat of a workaholic, even before their marriage had broken up, getting a lot of satisfaction out of helping sick children and being able to give Georgina and Jamie some of the good things in life at the same time.
When their life together had foundered after losing their son he’d immersed himself in his work more and more, and had spent less and less time at home. Without Jamie it wasn’t a home any more.
When Georgina had asked for a divorce he’d agreed, because he’d felt their life together was over. They’d had no comfort to offer each other—he, because of the terrible bitterness inside him, and she because she felt responsible for what had happened.
But that day in August he’d discovered that their feelings weren’t dead. There was still a spark there. It had been sweet anguish making love to the only woman he’d ever wanted, and he wasn’t going to rest until he saw her again.
He’d gone to Scandinavia with less than his usual enthusiasm, because he was frustrated and miserable to think that she’d come back into his life and given him hope and then disappeared into the unknown once more.
Now he was home again, and amongst the mail that had accumulated during his absence was the envelope with Georgina’s handwriting on it. With heartbeat quickening, he opened the letter.
The brief communication inside said that she needed to talk to him as soon as possible, and it went on to say that she would come to London if he wished. No way, he thought. He’d waited a long time to find out where she’d gone, and now the opportunity was here.
She hadn’t used the word urgent, but there was something about the wording of the letter that conveyed it to him, and as the postmark on it was from weeks ago he immediately began planning how quickly he could get to this Willowmere place in Cheshire.
Ben was freelance, and not attached to any particular hospital, so there were no arrangements to make at his end. After a quick snack, and a phone call to arrange overnight accommodation at a place in Willowmere called the Pheasant, he was ready for the off, warning the landlord that he would be arriving in the early hours.
As she did on most evenings when she’d eaten, Georgina set off for a short stroll beside the river. A heron, king of the birdlife, familiar to all the village folk, was perched motionless on its favourite stone in the middle of the water when she got there, and she remembered how when she’d first moved to Willowmere she’d had to steel herself to look at the Goyt as it skipped along its stony bed.
As the last rays of the sun turned the skyline to gold she felt the child inside her move and wondered if it was going to be a son to follow the one they’d lost or a baby girl with the same dark hair and eyes as her parents.
She knew that under normal circums
tances Ben would be over the moon at the thought of another child, but normal would have been as a brother or sister for Jamie and he was no longer with them.
They’d created a new life in those moments of wild abandon and it should be a source of joy for them both, but as it stood now he knew nothing about it.
She saw that the lights were on in the surgery as she walked back to the cottage and brought her thoughts back to the situation there. Would James find suitable replacements tonight for Anna and Glenn?
After a bath and a hot drink, she was tucked up in bed half an hour later and thinking drowsily that for half the population the night would only just be beginning, but tomorrow would be another busy day for her and James.
She awoke in the early hours to the noise of a car pulling up on the quiet lane below, but didn’t get up to investigate. Instead she snuggled lower under the bed-covers with her eyes closed. The doors were locked, the burglar alarm on. Whoever it might be, she was too sleepy to check them out.
As he’d driven through the Cheshire countryside, Ben had thought wryly that Georgina had certainly intended to put some distance between them by coming here, and she’d also chosen a beautiful place to come to.
He’d seen a lake glinting through trees in the light of a full moon as he’d approached the village, and as he’d drawn nearer had seen that the main street was made up of cottages built from limestone next to quaint shops that made the present-day supermarket seem an uninteresting place by comparison.
He’d arrived earlier than expected, and had stopped briefly outside Georgina’s cottage on a lane at the end of the village after receiving directions from an elderly man.
The curtains were drawn, for which he’d been thankful, as it was hardly the hour to be calling. After choking back the overwhelming feeling of regret for all the wasted years they’d spent, he’d driven off into the night to find his accommodation.
Knowing as he did so that ever since he’d found Georgina in the cemetery and persuaded her to go back to the house, then made love to her like some madman, he’d been aching to see her again. Desperate to tell her how he regretted the way he’d behaved when they’d lost Jamie.
He’d been like someone demented and had vented his desolation on to her, as if she hadn’t been suffering, too. If he’d been in charge, the tragedy would never have happened, he’d told her at times when he’d been at his lowest ebb, and it had been as if the love they’d shared had also died.
It hadn’t been until in bitter despair she’d asked for a divorce and left because she’d been unable to stand it any more that he’d faced up to what he’d done to her.
He’d given her the divorce, couldn’t for shame not to after the way he’d behaved, and ever since then had longed to have her back in his life. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was for forsaking her when she’d needed him, for being so selfishly wrapped up in his own grief without a thought for hers, and to explain how meeting her that day had brought all his longing to the surface in an enormous wave of passion.
There’d always been amazing sexual chemistry between them, but after losing Jamie they’d never made love, so estranged had they become. Now he was going to try to rebuild the marriage that had crumbled, and maybe Georgina wanting to talk was a step in the right direction.
CHAPTER TWO
WHEN Georgina looked through the window the next morning, there was no car to be seen so she concluded it must have driven off after stopping for a moment.
After a shower and a nourishing breakfast she was ready to leave, and with the car already outside from the previous day, she was about to slide into the driver’s seat when she looked up and saw a man walking towards her along the deserted lane.
He was tall and dark-haired with a trim physique. As he approached she stared at him in disbelief and when he stopped at the bottom of her drive and said, ‘Hello, Georgina,’ in the same tone of voice as on that day in August, her legs turned to jelly.
‘So did you get my letter?’ she croaked from behind the car door.
‘Yes, but only a few hours ago,’ he said evenly. ‘It had been lying unopened behind my door for weeks. I’ve been abroad recently. So what’s the problem, Georgina? What do you want to talk to me about?’
So far the car door was concealing her pregnancy but she couldn’t stay behind it for ever, and with a sudden desire to shatter his calm she pushed it shut. Looking down at her spreading waistline, she said, ‘I want to talk to you about this.’
It was Ben’s turn to be dumbfounded. ‘You’re pregnant!’ he gasped. ‘Oh! My God! You’re with someone else! Why didn’t Nick tell me?’
‘Nicholas didn’t tell you because there was nothing to tell,’ she informed him steadily. ‘He doesn’t know I’m pregnant, and as for the rest, there is no one else in my life. I am on my own and prefer it that way. You are the one who has made me pregnant, Ben. Maybe you recall an afternoon in August.’
Recall it? he thought raggedly. He would never forget it as long as he lived, the softness of her in his arms again, his mouth on hers, her desire matching his. Hope had been born in him that day.
It was why he had come to the place where Georgina had made a new life for herself, hoping that the matter she wanted to discuss was getting back together. Only here she was, carrying his child and making it very clear she hadn’t been having any such thoughts. Yet nothing she said could take away the joy of knowing that those moments of madness were going to bring a new life into the world, another child to cherish. It wouldn’t ever replace Jamie in his heart, but there would be no shortage of tenderness and love for this one…if he was given the chance.
‘What happened that afternoon was the last thing I intended,’ she told him as they faced each other on the drive. ‘Nothing was further from my mind, and now I’m carrying the result of what we did.’
‘And you aren’t happy about it?’
‘Yes, of course I am. I’m happy that I’m going to have another child. It is a privilege I never anticipated, but after losing Jamie and the dreadful aftermath, I’m not intending to change my lifestyle as it is now, except for doing fewer hours at the practice maybe.’
‘Fair enough,’ he said evenly, stepping to one side as she slid behind the wheel. ‘And is this baby that you’ve been keeping to yourself going to get to know its father as it grows up?’
‘If our lives had been as they were before we lost Jamie, it would have been ecstasy to tell you that I was pregnant,’ she said sadly. ‘Because our child would have been conceived in love, like he was. But it wasn’t like that, was it? Too much water has flowed under the bridge since the days when we lived for each other and him.’
‘But you were prepared to tell me that you’re pregnant, Georgina, though in your own time. I suppose it could have been worse. I could have arrived to find you pushing a pram. And so is my part in this going to be sitting on the fence?’
‘No, of course not,’ she said, choking on the words. ‘It’s just that I couldn’t go through what I suffered before if anything should happen to this child. I understood your despair but you never tried to understand mine. You shut me out, Ben, and it broke my spirit. Since I’ve come to Willowmere I’ve found a degree of comfort in the place and its people, but no one knows my past and that is how I would prefer it to stay.’
‘So you don’t want anyone to know that we were once husband and wife?’
‘I’m not bothered about that, and in any case it’s a problem that won’t arise as you won’t be around.’
‘Don’t be too sure about that,’ he said dryly. ‘I’m my own boss these days, and am due for a break anyway.’
Ignoring his comment and its implications, she expained, ‘It’s the reason for the divorce that I don’t want to be common knowledge. I don’t want anything to spoil Jamie’s memory.’
‘You can rest assured that I, of all people, won’t be telling anyone why we broke up,’ he said grimly. ‘But, Georgina, I feel you need to know that if I had any intention
of my stay here being brief, it won’t be now. I’m going to be around until the birth and after, so please take note of that.’
He was stepping away from the car and, as she began to drive slowly out onto the road, he called through the open window, ‘When I’ve settled my account at the pub I’m going home to tie up all the loose ends and then I’ll be back. I’m not sure when, but I will be coming back.’
She had no reply to that. Still numb with the shock of seeing him strolling towards her along the lane, she left him standing at her gate.
As she pulled up outside the surgery, Georgina’s thoughts were in chaos. There was relief that Ben now knew about the baby, tied up with panic at the thought of him coming to Willowmere and invading the solitary, safe life she had made for herself. Beneath it all there was a glimmer of happiness, because in spite of the circumstances, she’d given him something to be joyful about.
She did wish he’d let her know he was coming, though, so she could have greeted him with calmness in her sitting room, dressed in something that would have concealed her pregnancy during the first few moments of meeting, instead of hovering behind the car door in a state of shock.
Yet her surprise had been nothing compared to his when he’d realised she was pregnant, and straight away jumped to the conclusion that she was in a relationship with someone else.
James was at the surgery before her but, then, he always was, for the good reason that he lived next door. After they’d greeted each other, she asked how the interviews of the evening before had gone, hoping to bring normality into a very strange morning.
‘I’ve found an excellent replacement for Anna,’ he told her, observing her keenly, ‘but there was no one that I could visualise as a new partner. I feel it might be wise to leave that until Glenn comes back to Willowmere. So it looks as if we might be turning to a locum again for the time being.
A Baby for the Village Doctor Page 2