by Sara Dailey
Almost overnight everything began to fall apart. Slowly. The spark in his eyes when he looked at me began to fade, and somewhere along the way sex became something we did purely out of habit instead of desire. And as the passion fizzled, so did everything else. The fun and laughter in our relationship dissipated, and we no longer went out on dates or even hung out much with our friends in the pack.
I still loved him and wanted to rekindle what we once had, but whatever we used to be was dying, and as much as I wanted to deny it, we were on life-support and barely hanging on. Six months ago, on New Year’s Day, I’d finally come to terms with the fact that what we’d once had was gone. Everything was over. But when I finally found the courage to break up with him, his eyes grew wide in shock and he did the very last thing I expected. He scooped me up in his arms and hugged me tightly. To this day, I’ll never forget the words that came out of his mouth.
“You can’t leave me, Lily.” He was practically begging. “Please don’t do this. I need you. I love you. We can make this work. I promise. Say you won’t give up on us. Promise me.” In all our time together he’d never spoken that way. Never had he seemed so vulnerable, so lost.
I pulled away to ask, “Do you really still love me?”
He answered with a deep, hard kiss and then pulled me down into his bed, tearing at my clothes as if desperate to be inside me at once. For the first time in a long while we made love like we used to, and afterward a tear fell down my face as I silently prayed that things would really be different from then on.
Of course, they weren’t. That had been six months ago. Now, here he’d promised that we’d do something instead of prom and then ditched me when “something came up.” I’m sure my mother would say he was taking care of business, too. In that moment I realized what it truly meant to be promised to the future alpha of the Red Ridge Pack. Marcus wouldn’t let me go without a fight, but he also wasn’t trustworthy. And my decisions were no longer my own.
Chapter 3
I woke up with puffy eyes and a hurt still lingering in my chest. The last thing I wanted to do was to put on a happy face first thing in the morning and go to our weekly pack meeting, but yet again, I had no choice in the matter. It was days like this when I wished I was human and could fake a stomachache to get out of it. I wasn’t ready to face Marcus after last night, but avoiding him wouldn’t work either, so I needed to slap on a smile and fake my way through it.
Of course, it was just my luck that Marcus was the very first person I saw when I walked into the lodge with my parents. I was raised not to make a scene, so when he walked up and greeted us, I was perfectly polite, even though it nearly killed me. My mother gushed over how handsome Marcus looked and how lucky I was that he’d picked me over all the other females in our pack. I resisted the urge to scream at her, to tell her just how lucky I felt last night when I was dismissed like a piece of garbage, and almost begged my father to get me the hell out of there; but I managed to keep my mouth shut. Marcus responded with a kind smile and then took my arm to lead me to our seats.
My silence got his attention, and he leaned in to ask me if I was okay.
Really?
“No, Marcus, everything is not okay. Why would it be okay?”
“Lily, you’re being ridiculous.”
I took his hand and marched him into the hallway, away from prying ears. “You knew how much I was looking forward to going somewhere and actually doing something fun with you last night.” Marcus let his hand drop from mine. “I thought after Friday night that we were finally in a good place again. I’m just disappointed,” I admitted, dropping my gaze to the floor and crossing my arms over my chest.
He lifted my head by placing his finger under my chin, and his eyes bored into mine. His stone-cold glare shot chills down my back. “Maybe it’s time you get used to the disappointment,” he stated flatly, then walked away.
He’d left me standing in the very same place that our relationship began two years ago. Leaning against the wall for support, I took several deep breaths, trying to fight back the tears that filled my eyes. But I wasn’t sad. I was angry, so angry that I wasn’t sure I could resist the desire to punch Marcus square in the nose, so before I headed back to my seat I took a much needed moment to collect myself.
When I returned, Marcus had moved to one of the chairs next to the alpha’s podium. I made my way over to sit with my parents, but the longer I sat there, the more livid I became. My entire body was fuming, and I couldn’t focus on anything except the rage rolling through me. As hard as I tried to avoid looking at Marcus, I couldn’t. His mere presence was the spark that ignited my temper, and the sight of him was the only thing that kept me from breaking down in tears about this whole screwed-up situation.
Then I noticed something different about him. He looked almost…happy. Instead of stealing glances at me like he used to, his attention was elsewhere, focused on something behind me.
Trying not to be too obvious, I turned to see what had caught his interest. Noel, a girl a year older than us, was staring at Marcus like a lovesick puppy, and she wasn’t even attempting to hide it.
Suddenly it all started to make sense. Was the bastard actually cheating on me with Noel? He had to be. That was why he’d been so distant, why he ditched me last night. The realization of it all was almost comical, and I literally had to cover my mouth to stop from laughing out loud. As soon as my smile was hidden, another thought occurred to me, causing all the anger to drain from my body. I was left numb, feeling nothing at all.
How can I be laughing when my boyfriend of two years is cheating on me? Oh my God, I don’t love Marcus. Holy shit! He’s cheating on me, and I don’t feel anything.
Out of nowhere, the entire pack began clapping and cheering. I looked up just in time to see Marcus and his father walking toward me. Panicked, I turned to my mother, and she radiated pride. Marcus reached out his arm.
I took it automatically, just as he expected. Together we walked to the center of the stage as his father announced, “Ladies and gentleman, the future Mrs. Marcus Walker.”
Marcus slipped a ring on my shaking finger, and just like that Marcus and I were officially engaged. Worst timing ever. My heart stopped, and I could hardly breathe. This couldn’t be happening. No warning, no signs, no romantic proposal. Now I’d be married. I was trapped.
Fury filled me. The idea that Marcus and I were now engaged was completely absurd, especially now that I had suspicions about Noel. Standing in front of my entire pack, I felt like the biggest fraud. I couldn’t stop myself from making eye contact with Noel, but as soon as her eyes connected with mine she looked down at her hands. She looked as miserable as I felt, and I almost felt sorry for her. Almost. We were the perfect pair, Noel and I. Two helpless girls caught up in a pack of lies.
“Fellow pack members, I cannot express how happy we are that our son has chosen Lily Michaels for his mate. Our families have always been close, and I have every confidence that she will make my son a happy man for the rest of his life,” Marcus’s father said as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder to give me a quick hug. “It’s been a while since we’ve had a wedding here on the estate, and even longer since we’ve celebrated the passing of leadership from father to son. In just a few short weeks my son will replace me as alpha, and I could not be more proud. We will have a ceremony in his honor followed by an opulent dinner. And the first weekend in August, we will have the most beautiful wedding right here on the estate.”
August? I looked at Marcus for the first time since this big announcement.
He didn’t look shocked or surprised. He knew about this. Standing there holding my hand, he knew that his father was going to announce this and didn’t tell me. Not only didn’t he warn me, he didn’t even bother to ask me if I wanted to marry him. I could feel the steam building inside. My free hand trembled as I boiled with rage, and I knew that my other hand, the one Marcus held, must have been trembling as well. My anger intensified as I thought a
bout how this should have happened. All girls dream, or at least imagine, how their boyfriends would propose. Would they get down on one knee? Maybe fill the house with flowers? Make some type of grand gesture, or at least ask after an extravagant dinner at some beautiful restaurant. I’d never thought Marcus was capable of being this much of an inconsiderate ass.
“Smile, Lily. Everyone is staring,” Marcus whispered and squeezed my hand in warning.
He was standing there smiling like this was the biggest and best day of his life. But then again, why wouldn’t he be smiling? He had me for Friday nights, Noel for Saturdays, and soon he was going to be the alpha of the largest werewolf pack in New Mexico.
Chapter 4
It wasn’t long before the lodge began to clear out. Marcus must have decided a long time ago that I was a complete pushover, but if he thought I was just going to let this pass without saying a word, he was dead wrong. I patiently watched as he stood near the exit chatting with Phillip, and waited for a sign that their conversation was coming to an end. As soon as the two of them shook hands, I marched over and grabbed Marcus by the arm.
Leading him toward the hallway where he’d so crudely informed me that I needed to get used to disappointment, I snapped, “We need to talk.”
Marcus came to an abrupt halt, causing me to lose my grip on his arm and tumble forward a bit. “Slow down, Lily. If you want to talk, we aren’t doing it here. Let’s go back to my house. My parents are heading over to Phillip’s to discuss his transition to enforcer.”
Without waiting, I headed for the exit and called over my shoulder, “Fine. Let’s go.”
Neither of us spoke until his front door was locked behind us. He sat on the couch, but I had too much adrenaline coursing through me to do anything other than pace back and forth across the living room.
Marcus crossed his leg over his knee and threw his arm over the back of the couch. “Look, I know you’re surprised.”
Throwing my hands in the air I shouted, “Surprised? I’m a little more than surprised, Marcus. Did it even occur to you that you should ask me to marry you? What the hell was that? Because it certainly wasn’t a proposal.”
He sighed loudly. “Just calm down, Lily. You’re making a bid deal out of nothing.”
In mid-step, I stopped pacing as his words tore through me. “Not a big deal? You can’t be serious! Because I think marriage is kind of a big deal, and last time I checked, you’re supposed to ask a girl to marry you before you announce to the world that you’re engaged.”
Crossing his arms over his chest, he stated matter-of-factly, “It’s not like you would have said no.”
Rage engulfed me, swallowed me whole, and I could hardly see straight. As I fought back the urge to shift into wolf form and rip his throat out, I suddenly understood how someone could be capable of murder. I could totally relate to all those women in prison serving time for killing their man. Marcus was lucky that I regained control, because the words that had just come out of his mouth could have very well been his last.
My eyes narrowed as I glared at the cocky son-of-a-bitch who sat before me. “For your information, I would not have just said no. I would have said No-Fucking-Way! Especially since I finally opened my eyes and realized that you’ve been cheating on me with Noel Branson!”
Apparently, that got his attention. He shot to his feet and shouted, “Noel? You think I’m sleeping with Noel?”
“I don’t just think, Marcus. I’m pretty damn sure of it. She was practically drooling over you all through the meeting, and the look on her face after your father’s little announcement all but confirmed it. I guess you forgot to tell her about the engagement, too.”
His cheeks flamed red as he grabbed me by the arms and forced me to look at him. “I-Am-Not-Cheating-On-You! Do you hear me? Not with Noel, not with anyone! I mean it, Lily.”
I tried to pull away, but it only caused him to tighten his grip.
His fingers bit into my arms as I shouted, “Let. Me. Go!”
He released me, and I stumbled back a few steps, but I wasn’t through just yet. “I know something is going on with her. You’re really going to act like it’s a coincidence that you’ve barely given me the time of day lately, and I just watched you two practically undressing each other with your eyes for the last hour. Really? What kind of fool do you think I am?”
Marcus took a step forward, but he stopped as soon as I took a step away. His face drained of color, and his eyes shifted to the floor. “Look, I’m sorry I grabbed your arms. I would never hurt you.”
Hearing those words made sorrow replace my rage. “It’s too late for that. You already have.”
“You have to believe me. I’m not cheating on you. Noel has always had a crush on me, but it doesn’t matter. There is nothing going on, and there is never going to be.”
I looked down at the ring on my finger. Even I couldn’t pretend that it wasn’t absolutely breathtaking. The center held a flawless princess-cut rock, and tons of tiny diamonds surrounded it and lined the white-gold band. It was perfect, but that didn’t mean that it belonged on my hand. I held it out in front of me. “What about this?”
“What do you mean, ‘what about this’?” He looked confused.
“I don’t know what I mean. All I know is that everything seems so messed up.”
“I know. But every couple goes through tough times, right? It will get better. Just give it time.”
I nodded my head but had a horrible feeling that all the time in the world wouldn’t be able to save us.
Chapter 5
The end of high school came and went, and finally it was the first week of summer, and not only was I finally a high school graduate but engaged to be married as well. Both situations somehow left me more lost than ever. While others were planning for college, I was stuck planning a wedding—a wedding I wasn’t convinced should even be taking place.
To make matters worse, somebody must have decided along the way that I didn’t need a college education. Who needs college when you’re going to be the alpha’s dutiful wife, one who sits by his side, plays the part and shoots out plenty of pups? I’d never imagined myself as a barefoot-and-pregnant kind of girl, yet here I stood imagining my new future. Sadly, it didn’t look so bright.
Since the announcement of our engagement, Marcus had grown more distant than ever, and according to him I just needed to get used to it. How the hell had this happened? Why did he even want to marry me?
Obviously he was miserable, and most days I doubted he even loved me anymore—if he ever had. The only good thing I had to say about him was that he hadn’t been sneaking off, so he had either stopped seeing Noel or was being extra careful.
Summer had always been my favorite time of year, yet for the last several days I’d taken to hanging out in my bedroom more and more, at times not bothering to get out of the tank top and gym shorts that I had worn to bed the night before. I just needed time to think. To figure out my next move. Could I really be forced to marry Marcus? What if I just said no? What then? Would my friends and family—?
Just as I began to consider the possibility of breaking things off for good with Marcus, I heard footsteps headed up the stairs. Mom was on her way to my room. There was no other reason to come up here besides to drag me back to civilization, so I mentally prepared myself for battle, ready to admit that Marcus and I were not meant to be. Ready to fight the battle that would be the worst I’d ever fought.
Instead, when I opened up to a knock, I was shocked to find my father standing in the doorway.
His sad eyes caused a lump to form in my throat. He felt sorry for me. It was written all over his face. He’d always been the one I went to for comfort, the one who somehow managed to make everything better. He might have been the enforcer of our pack, the big, tough guy who was the alpha’s right-hand man, but with me he’d always been a big softy. More than ever I wanted to throw myself into his arms and beg him to help me get out of this mess, but the look on his fac
e kept me from doing so.
He just stood there right outside my bedroom door, not saying a word.
“What are you doing up here, Dad?”
He swallowed, as if it pained him to say whatever he’d come up here to say. “I just wanted to check on you. You’ve been up here a lot lately. Maybe you should come down and eat something.”
“I’m not hungry. What’s this really about? You haven’t been up to my room in forever.” I cringed at the harshness in my voice, but I had a feeling my mother was behind his impromptu visit.
He shifted from foot to foot and blew out a deep breath before finally answering. “Look, Lillian. I know things are a little rocky with Marcus right now, but that’s how relationships are sometimes. You need to find a way to work through it. You’re going to be married soon, so, honey, you need to do what you can to make the best of it.”
Make the best of it? Seriously? That’s his advice? Unsure of what to say next, I backed up and sat down on my bed. Dad followed suit and took a seat next to me.
I shifted my body toward him and finally admitted out loud, “But what if I don’t want to make it work, Dad?”
He wrapped his arm around me and rested his head on top of mine. “Don’t say that, honey. You and Marcus are right for each other. You’ve just hit a rough patch. Give it some time and things will turn around. I’m sure of it. Promise me you’ll try. Don’t give up just yet.”
I answered with a heavy sigh. If my father wasn’t going to back me on this, no one would. But I wasn’t going to just sit back and be forced into a loveless, hopeless marriage. For my father’s sake, I would try. One last time. I did love Marcus once, and if we could find a way to get back to the place we used to be, this could work.