by Vivien Vale
I stop at my mom’s studio next to share the good news with her. Chris is on his way out of the door just as I walk toward it. I hug him and tell him about my new job just before he leaves to see another client. He says he’s thrilled for me.
When I walk into the studio, my mom sits on one of the couches with an art book.
“There you are,” she says with a smile when I bend down to hug her.
“I got a job,” I say.
She reaches up and squeezes my hand. “I always knew you could do it. You never disappoint me.”
I smile and sit down beside her.
“What’s wrong?” my mom asks, even though I walked in with good news.
Is it that obvious that I have something on my mind? I shrug. “It’s nothing serious.”
“Is it about Keagan?” she asks.
She knows me far too well for me to be able to hide anything from her.
“This is so weird, Mom,” I say. “With you knowing what’s happening and pushing about it all the time. Shouldn’t we not talk about it?”
My mom smiles. “I know you can’t discuss this with your friends. It’s good to have someone to talk to, at least.”
I sigh. Maybe she’s right. My friends would flip out about what’s happening before I would be able to ask for advice or help.
“Talk to me,” my mom says.
So, I do.
“I think I need to break it off with Keagan.” I say the words that have been spinning in my mind since Mason’s comment.
My mom frowns. “Why?”
I shake my head slowly, trying to figure out what I’m thinking and feeling. “Because I’m scared I’m developing feelings for him. You know?”
I don’t want to admit that I’ve already developed feelings for Keagan, deeper feelings that go beyond just casual fun. And I certainly don’t say that it is because we are fucking. Saying it out loud to my mother, even when she knows, is still weird.
My mom looks at me, and her face is hard to read.
“Why is it wrong to feel something for him?” she asks.
I groan. “I don’t even have to go into that with you. The stepbrother thing isn’t going to go down very well with the public, considering his reputation.”
My mom shakes her head.
“That shouldn’t matter. If you both feel the same for each other. You have talked to him, right?”
I can’t exactly tell him that I am falling for him when I am the one that decided to keep it at casual sex. Besides, I don’t even know for sure if I really am falling for him, or if it is just a silly crush. I hope it is the latter. It would be so much easier to deal with.
“Talk to him,” my mom says. “Before you do anything. You’ll find that choices are so much easier when you’re open about how you feel.”
I nod, even though I’m not certain about her advice. Baring my soul to Keagan would be difficult. I’d be putting myself out on a limb, making myself vulnerable. My mom can tell me how easy it is, but she isn’t the one that isn’t sure what she feels for her stepbrother or how she should go about dealing with it.
Keagan
After seeing Mason, work suddenly became chaotic. Something went wrong with a system, and I had to slave away with my team to sort it out as quickly as possible. When something goes wrong with a social media platform, the world goes mad. Not only is it poor form, but users are selfish and won’t allow for mistakes.
By the time I pull into my parking space, my head feels like sponge, and it throbs dully between my temples. I’ve been in meetings all day, arguing back and forth about what would be the quickest route to take. When I wasn’t arguing, I was staring at a screen, trying to figure out what the hell was wrong.
The smell of food lingers in the corridor leading to my front door, and I breathe in deeply. Living in an apartment building has its downsides. I hate it when I can smell everyone else’s supper, and I still have to go inside and cook my own.
When I push open the front door, the smell of food greets me, and the apartment feels warm and cozy. Dana is busy in the kitchen, and I spot pots on the stove. A carving board with a half-chopped salad sits on the counter.
“I’m home,” I say.
Dana turns around and smiles when she sees me.
“Perfect timing,” she says. “We can eat in five.”
I look at the food again.
“This is nice.”
She nods, smiling. “I thought I would do something nice for you, since you’re being so kind, letting me stay here.”
I scrutinize her face. I’m not sure what to make of her good mood. Earlier today, when Mason made that comment about us possibly being more than casual, her reaction was guarded. She ended up not staying for lunch, fleeing after her coffee. A part of me thought that she would still be upset when I came home.
She doesn’t seem upset at all.
“Go get changed into something more comfortable while I serve everything,” she says.
I must admit, coming home to a warm apartment with food almost ready is a great feeling. It gives me a taste of what it might be like if we were really together. I push the thought away. I can’t get my hopes up. I don’t know where we stand, and putting that kind of pressure on her and expecting something more is unfair.
I change out of my work clothes and into jeans and a t-shirt. When I rejoin Dana in the living room, the plates are steaming with a home cooked meal. She made rice, a stew of some kind, and a salad.
“This looks great, Dana,” I say and sit down on one of the bar stools at the counter. She pushes my plate toward me, hands me a knife and fork, and she walks around the counter and sits down on the barstool next to me.
I spear a piece of meat with my fork and put it in my mouth.
It tastes like heaven.
“I appreciate the effort,” I say, and take another bite. “This is delicious.”
“I was hoping we could sit down and just spend some time together,” she says. “We live in the same apartment, and sometimes we still manage to forget to communicate.”
I wonder if that is because of how much sex we’re having when life doesn’t get in the way. I don’t say it, though.
Dana makes small talk, asking about my day and how I managed to fix the crisis at work. I tell her what happened, and she listens attentively. Then she tells me about her interview and how relieved she feels having finally found a job. The conversation falls quiet for a while.
She clears her throat. “Can I ask you something?” she asks.
I nod.
“What would it mean for you to go public with this… thing that’s happening between us?”
I look at her. It’s a big question to ask.
“Well,” I start. “Seeing that I’m a public figure, so to speak, there will be a reaction. Some won’t like it.”
“How will it affect Sociable?” she asks.
I think about it for a second, before I shrug. “I don’t think it will affect it that much. We’ll be a scandal for a while, but in the business world, these things don’t mean as much as in the entertainment world. Besides, the platform is popular right now. I doubt I’ll be boycotted because people don’t like something in my personal life.”
Dana nods slowly. She’s pushing her food around on the plate.
“Why, are you going thinking about going public?” I ask.
When she glances up at me, she looks shy, unsure.
“I was just asking,” she says.
I turn to her, my food forgotten for the moment. “You made it clear we weren’t together like that, Dana,” I say.
She shrugs. “I didn’t know that this was more than fucking to you. We agreed on something. I didn’t think it meant anything more.”
I reach for her hand. “You’ve always been more to me. Being with you isn’t just some kind of dirty fantasy.” I hesitate and then grin. “At least, it’s not just a dirty fantasy.”
She smiles, but she still looks conflicted.
“Ta
lk to me,” I say and reach for her, brushing my knuckles against her cheek.
She takes a deep breath.
“What did you tell Mason about me?” she asks.
“I’m glad you want to know,” I say. When I told Mason, I didn’t mean for him to reveal it to her directly. “I told him that I’ve always wanted to be with you, and that it was more than me just being horny and perverted. You’ve always been special to me.”
“I didn’t think this was more than just sex,” she says again.
I shrug. “It is. I can’t help it. You’re amazing.”
She smiles. Her cheeks color and dimples appear. She’s beautiful when she blushes.
“You’ve never told me this before,” she says.
I nod. “You’re right. I didn’t know how to. I didn’t know how you would feel. Until now, you’ve been the biggest secret crush in my life, a fantasy that I could turn to, but never realize.”
She blinks at me. Her blue eyes are large and serious. She’s drinking in everything I’m telling her.
“The ball’s in your court now,” I say.
“My court?” She frowns and turns back to her food. She jabs at a piece of potato with her fork and studies it without eating it. “Why?”
“Because I don’t want to pressure you into anything you don’t want to do. But if you want to do this, if you want to take this further, it’s what I want, too.”
She finally takes a bite. I look at my own food and take a few more bites while she’s quiet and thinking. I’m almost done with my food when she looks at me again.
“It’s going to ruin your reputation,” she says. “You’ve had a clean slate until now. Even Liz ended before you became Mr. Famous, so they had nothing they could point at. If this comes out, it has the potential to be a huge scandal.”
I nod. “I know. But I still want to be with you.”
She takes a deep breath.
“Look,” I carry on. “What we feel for each other is all that matters. We’re not related, and we liked each other way before our parents got together. We are adults, and we can decide what we want.”
“You make it sound so easy,” she says.
I put my hand on her cheek, cupping it. Her eyes find mine.
“It is that easy,” I say. “We do what we want to do, and if the world doesn’t like it, well, fuck them. They can’t make us be any different than we are, and they won’t change what we feel.”
She smiles, but it doesn’t stick.
“And if things get harder?” she asks. “What if the tabloids say terrible things, and it does end up affecting your job, and everything goes wrong?”
I shake my head until she stops talking. “I’m not going to bail on you. I’ve never bailed on you, right?”
“You’ve always been a friend, a brother.”
I nod. “And even then, it was important to me to be there for you. It’s not going to change. No matter what they say about me, I’m still going to be the same man, and I’m still going to feel the same about you.”
She leans her cheek into my hand. She doesn’t say anything, but her eyes are still unsure.
“Let me prove it to you,” I say.
“How?”
“This Friday. We’re going out to celebrate your new job. Let’s go out to a restaurant. Together. None of this hiding and arriving separately nonsense. We’ll go out together. It will hit the public by storm, and I can prove to you that I don’t care about what they say.”
“You want to do it so soon?” she asks.
“I don’t want to wait. I want to show you that I am serious. There is no reason to wait. I don’t need give our relationship more time or slowly build up to a big reveal. I know what I want.”
Finally, she nods. “You look so sure about everything,” she says. “It’s why everyone always listens to you and follows you.”
I shake my head. “I look this sure about it because I am this sure about it. There’s nothing else to it.”
She smiles, and this time, it looks sincere, calm, and happy. It’s what I want from her. I want her to feel that I’m here for her, that I’ll make it work if I put my mind to it. If Dana feels this way about me, I couldn’t have dreamed of a happier ending, and I will do what I need to do to make this work.
I’ve always been a problem solver.
Now that we’ve talked about things, Dana relaxes, and we finish our meal, talking and laughing about trivial things again. My stomach is tight, though. I am suddenly nervous. I have no doubt that this is what I want, and I will go through with it as promised, but it’s a big step. It won’t be easy.
When we’re done eating, we wash the dishes together, pack away leftovers, and head off to bed. Dana kisses me goodnight and walks to her room.
“Dana,” I call after her. She turns to look at me.
“Come sleep in my bed tonight.”
I want her with me. I don’t even want to fuck. I just want her to be with me so I can wrap my arms around her. I am overwhelmed with emotion, and I want her warmth pressed against me and the sound of her breath in my ear.
She nods and disappears to change her clothes. When she’s finished, she comes to my room. I’m already in bed, and I lift the covers for her. She pads across the carpet and climbs into bed. I switch off my bedside lamp, and the room plunges into darkness. Dana lays against me, and her body heat soothes me the way I needed it to.
She cuddles against my chest and throws an arm over me. The smell of her is in my nostrils, and her curvy body melds into mine. My body responds automatically, and my cock hardens, but this is not what being this close to her is about right now. I kiss her on her hair, stroke her arm, and close my eyes.
Dana
My stomach twists and turns in a fit of nerves. Tonight, Keagan and I are going public with our relationship. It’s a huge night for the two of us, the night where our lives change forever.
I know this is what I want. I’ve been thinking about it the whole week. But I also know that this won’t happen without difficulty. A lot of people won’t understand our choices or agree with them.
It doesn’t matter, though. I need this. We both do.
I make an appointment at Butter Nails and Waxing for eleven. I want to look and feel my best for tonight. When I dress invincible, I feel like I can handle anything, and I want to look good for Keagan, too. One way or another, he and I will remember this night for the rest of our lives. I might as well dress up for the occasion.
I like getting pampered. It’s a treat to go to a salon, and I like spending some time indulging myself with a little luxury. But today, it’s a little tainted. The underlying nerves about what we’re going to do is a constant reminder that my life is going to change soon.
I know it’s what I want, but there have been so many changes already. It’s hard to keep up.
My phone rings and I answer.
“Miss White?” a woman says on the other end of the line.
“Yes?”
“I’m Lisa, I’m calling on behalf of Julia Summers at Golden Image.”
“Right,” I say and smile. I was impatiently waiting for her call.
“Julia wanted me to ask if you’re able to start with us this Monday?”
“Of course!” I couldn’t believe they were fast-tracking me. This was great news.
I heard the secretary chuckle. “That’s great, Miss White. I’ll let Julia know, and we’ll finalize the contracts when you come in.”
We say our goodbyes and hang up. I look at my screen, and my stomach turns with a different kind of nervous excitement.
When I leave the salon, I feel fresh, beautiful, and accomplished, especially knowing that I have the job and I’m starting on Monday. My legs are smooth, my nails are stunning, and I know what I’m going to wear. I’ve chosen to wear a wrap dress the color of beach sand. It reaches just below my knee in a modern Gatsby style, but with a modern flare and diamante along the front. I got a pair of nude strappy heels with it.
; I get ready, and I’m almost done when Keagan comes home. He calls a hello through the door and disappears to his own room to get ready, too.
I tie my hair back in a half-up, half-down style and put on earrings that match the diamante on my dress. Smokey eyes, a salmon lipstick, and I’m good to go. When I step out of the room, Keagan is just coming out of his. His eyes rake up and down my body, and they widen in surprise. He smiles.
“You look absolutely beautiful,” he says, coming toward me.
He cleans up very well, too. He’s wearing a dark suit that makes his eyes stand out, a crisp white shirt, and a champagne tie that goes very well with my dress. It’s like we planned it. His shoes are polished so perfectly I can almost see myself in them.
Keagan leans forward and kisses me. His lips touch mine tenderly, and his hands are on my elbows. He’s being careful, respectful. This is the complete opposite of the wild sex we’ve been having, when he kisses me like he’s trying to find another way to enter me.
“How are you feeling?” he asks.
I take a deep breath and blow it out slowly. My stomach turns.
“Nervous,” I say.
Keagan nods. “I know. Me too. But this is going to be great, okay?”
I nod and fully trust him. So far, everything he told me would be okay, turned out okay. That’s all I need. Keagan is someone I can rely on, and it means a lot to me.
“The reservation is for eight, so we have a bit of time,” Keagan says, walking to the kitchen. “How about a glass of wine before we go, to take the edge off?”
“God, that would be great,” I say.
I follow him to the kitchen where he chooses a bottle of wine from the wine rack in the corner. He takes out two glasses and pours one for each of us.
“I got a call from work today,” I say. “They want me to start on Monday.”
Keagan looks up at me, his face surprised.
“So soon? That’s great news.”
I nod, smiling. I’m nervous about tonight and nervous about my new job, but it is good news, and things are finally starting to work out.