by Vivien Vale
Instantly, I’m taken back to the moment in the plane where I asked him what he did for a living.
What had he said again—something about there being plenty of time to get to know each other later.
Of course later has not come.
I feel myself go weak at the knees. I feel betrayed—a bit like the woman who finds out her best friend cheated on her with her man.
Was this really happening?
“It seems like we both tried to pull something off that was never going to work.”
I look up at Aaron. There’s a rushing in my ears as if the ocean has taken up residence in there.
What the fuck?
Instead of a replying to him, I turn to my sister.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I don’t mean to sound accusing, but I know I do.
She raises her eyebrows.
“What didn’t I tell you? Why didn’t you tell me?”
Silence hangs heavy between us.
“Look,” Ethan starts, but Cassie shoots him an ominous look.
“Yeah. You could have told me first. I’m still confused about what’s going on, but I assume you’ve been masquerading as some dude called Mr. BadBoy. If you’d care to share such delicate information, this might have been able to be avoided.”
You know she’s right, an inner voice pipes up, but I drown it out.
Someone’s popped my balloon.
Tears threaten to spill, and I can’t even say why.
Betrayed.
I feel betrayed the way Caesar would have when he found out Brutus was trying to kill him to get to the throne.
Okay.
That’s a bit of a drastic analogy.
But fuck, I can’t believe Ms. Winters is really Aaron.
“You,” I say as I turn to him, but I’m not sure what to say. What will I accuse him of? Not telling the truth is what I can accuse him of.
But then I haven’t told him the truth either.
Fuck, girl, this is different. You asked him.
Unable to process all of this right here, right now, I turn on my heels and leave.
Space. Air. Space.
I need those in about that order.
My feet cannot carry me out fast enough.
With too many eyes staring at me already, I try and retain some dignity and resist the temptation to break into a run.
Part of me wants to turn around, look at all of them again, and make sure this is not some horrible nightmare, but I keep walking.
One foot in front of the other, and before I know it, I’ll be out the door.
Just a few hours ago, everything was perfect. I thought Aaron and I were finally going somewhere. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Who would’ve thought the weekend would end like this?
Aaron
At first, I just stand there staring at the couple in front of me. I’m perplexed to say the very least.
Dumfounded, yes, no fucking doubt about it.
“What’s happening?” Finally, I’m able to blurt out words, but they’re weak.
Ethan and Cassie stare up at me and I’m trying to process this new development.
There’s no fucking way…
Well, let me take that statement back for a second.
Ethan completely fits Mr. BadBoy’s profile. I mean, I’m talking a total fucking dead ringer. I’ll even go as far as to admit that if I didn’t see Chloe rushing in at the exact same moment, I might believe it.
This scenario definitely borders on believable, but Chloe’s frantic appearance leads me to believe that something else must be running amuck here. She never does acts that way, so to make her lose her cool, there’s definitely something.
Ethan as Mr. BadBoy? It didn’t make any sense, but now that I’m beginning to realize there’s something more at stake, I wish it could stay that way. I can tell this is not going to be good, and I’m not sure I’d want to know what is really going on.
I actually pinch myself to determine whether I can wake up from this nightmare unfolding before my eyes.
Nope, it’s real. All right…
Chloe rushes up to meet us as I stand at the table like a fucking fool, trying to think of something clever to say but I’m coming up empty.
I’ve got nothing, basically. What do you say when you don’t even understand what’s going on?
Chloe must be just as jolted into shock as well, because she doesn’t speak either. She just stands there and shakes her head, looking from Ethan to Cassie in disbelief. Yep, can’t believe it either.
Cassie is the first to break the awkward silence, but I don’t even hear what she says over the ringing in my ears as all of this starts to make terrible, sick and twisted sense. If you can even say that.
I stare at Ethan, who’s looking positively baffled. The poor fucking guy is caught in this shit storm. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t at least feel bad for the dude.
Chloe is gaping at us, her mouth open like a fish.
I can’t believe this is happening. Can somebody rewind time for me? Anyone? Bueller? Okay, it appears as if there’s no way out of this and I can’t just disappear into the floor like I desperately want to right now.
“It seems like we both tried to pull something off that was never going to work.”
I address Cassie because she appears to be the only person who’s able to talk right now. I chuckle nervously and place a hand on my hip.
Cassie looks between me and Chloe as if she’s afraid of admitting anything confidential, but I think it’s safe to say that by now, we are all up shit creek without a paddle.
Ethan decides to try join the conversation. Great.
He points at Chloe and clears his throat, appearing sheepish but ready to come clean. Good for him, owning up to something he didn’t even do wrong. Can he make things look any worse than they are right now?
“Chloe asked me to step in and pose as Mr. BadBoy.” He flicks his eyes apologetically at the table, an object that can’t respond to him in any capacity. He’s trying to make sense of things, to clear things out.
“Why?” The moment I blurt it out, I regret it as it’s a stupid fucking question, because of course, Chloe had to ask a guy to step in. If she’s posing as Mr. BadBoy she can’t very well meet Ms. Winters (me) because it will blow her cover. The best guy to ask that is definitely Ethan, being in her confidence and all.
I formulate the answer in my mind but Ethan dives right in and cuts to the chase for me anyway.
“As Chloe here explained it,” he points to her again and looks at his girlfriend Cassie, “she couldn’t meet Ms. Winters because Ms. Winters would be expecting a guy.”
I glance over at Chloe. Her face is drained of color and she’s as fucking white as a stark, brand new set of Pottery Barn sheets. Admitting this little act probably wasn’t part of her plan. Hell, it’s not part of anybody’s plan.
“Same for me.” Now Cassie decides to come back and join in on all the joyous fun.
Insert sarcastic tone here.
“Aaron here,” and she glances at me with the same kind of apologetic gaze, “told me to pose as Ms. Winters.”
“So here we are,” Ethan concludes, chuckling nervously and assesses each of us with a cautious glance.
Nobody else besides him dares to speak another word for the moment. I’m still trying to process this new development and I almost feel numb.
Cassie turns to face me.
I just stare at her, unable to speak. What the fuck is wrong with me, why can’t I utter a single word right now?
Cassie faces her sister, next. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“What didn’t I tell you? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Look,” Ethan starts, but Cassie shoots him an ominous look.
“Yeah,” Cassie says. “You could have told me first. I’m still confused about what’s going on, but I assume you’ve been masquerading as some dude called Mr. BadBoy. If you’d care to share such delicate information,
this might have been able to be avoided.”
Technically, Cassie is right in this situation. I kept everything vague as possible, so the parties could remain innocent. The less she knows, the less she could possibly divulge to others. The less chances of blowing it up.
Well we can all see now how that completely blew up in our faces.
“I’m just really confused right now.” Cassie throws her hands up defensively.
“You,” Chloe finally says to me, but the look on her face cuts me to the core.
Then without a word, Chloe spins on her heel, facing away from the two seated at the table and me as well.
“Where are you going?” Cassie calls out to her sister but it’s too late. She’s already heading out the door.
I know I should chase after her, but my legs won’t move. Great, so now my legs are following suit with my brain and just not doing any fucking thing at all. My legs won’t fucking move, no matter how badly I want to run.
The thing I want to do most is to chase after Chloe. I’m still trying to process this new information. Fuck, how the tables are turning. I’ve never imagined anyone playing the same game, let alone playing it on me. And Chloe of all people? Well, surprise, surprise.
It’s almost as if I’m frozen solid. Why won’t my fucking legs move an inch?
Nope, they won’t budge.
Yep, I’m completely fucking this up.
Even Cassie notices.
“Um, aren’t you going to follow her?”
Cassie’s voice has an edge of panic to it, and her demeaner is demanding and frantic.
I shake my head.
“I...I don’t know what to do,” I state with honesty because now it’s all I want to be…be completely and totally fucking honest with everyone.
“She’s probably extremely upset right now.” Cassie advises me of the obvious, as if I don’t already fucking know.
“I’m still trying to digest how this all happened too.” I laugh even though there’s not much to find funny about this situation.
I turn my head and look out the front entrance of the hotel bar. Chloe is gone, vanishing like a thief in the night.
I turn back to face Cassie.
“Where do you think she’s going?”
“I don’t know.” Cassie shrugs and shakes her head.
“You’re her sister, her twin even, don’t you have any ideas?” I ask with maybe a little too much harshness because Ethan steps in.
“Hey, easy there, dude,” he warns me.
“I’m sorry,” I shake my head. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen and I’m honestly not trying to be rude to Cassie, you or anyone for that matter. I’m just in shock right now.”
“It’s okay.” Cassie meets my gaze and her expression is thankfully softer now.
“Should you go after her?” I throw out there to the universe and see where it lands.
“I don’t think so.” Cassie shakes her head and takes a sip of her water at the table. “I know my sister, and she probably wants to be alone right now to think things over.”
“Why did you ask me to chase after her then?” I ask with confusion.
“I don’t know,” Cassie chuckles. “I guess in the heat of the moment, it was my gut reaction.”
“That makes sense,” I nod.
Then, a horrific thought pelts me right in the brain.
“Wait…” I inflect with dread.
“What?” Cassie raises her eyebrows and looks at Ethan, then me.
“Will Chloe be upset if I don’t follow her? Will she find it offensive?”
I look to Cassie for answers, and Ethan for that matter because what the hell do I have to lose?
You see, as if it’s not raw and blatantly obvious, I’m actually terrible when it comes to relationships with women. Pleasing them in bed is one thing; being emotionally involved with them is another beast entirely.
I might have swagger on the surface, but gauging their emotions is my worst sport ever no matter how many times I’ve had encounters with women. It’s always easier to impress them than keep them interested, long enough to invest on feelings.
Let’s just say I’m not going to make the Olympic team when it comes to reading women’s thought processes any time soon.
“I don’t know how to approach her,” I whisper with regret.
Ethan stands up and slaps my back.
“Just give it some time man.”
I blow out a puff of air. Aside from what he said, I really don’t have much idea what to do.
“Good idea.” I nod at him as if he’s onto a deep and profound secret that I’m just beginning to realize myself. Which maybe is really the case.
“I think we’re going to go.” Cassie winces as she stares awkwardly at me. “Good luck, Aaron.”
“Thanks.” I give her a polite smile and shake Ethan’s extended hand.
“Are you heading back to your room?” He asks.
“No,” I shake my head deliberately. “I think I’m going to cool off my own thoughts for a while. I might head to the bar and drink myself into oblivion,” I joke. Now that I think of it, that might just be a good idea after all.
“Just remember to sleep on your side then.” Ethan slaps my back again and he and Cassie leave the bar.
Fuck, no way is Chloe going back to our room. I’m alone for the night. Not exactly the way I planned things to work out or the outcome I desire, but hey, when life throws you lemons make lemonade.
Or in my case, go right to the bar and order a lemon drop shot. That should solve my problems, albeit only momentarily. But I’ve gotta figure this shit out, because I’ve finally found the one woman who I don’t want to let go, and I just fucking ran her off.
Chloe
I can’t fucking believe this.
I mean, is this for real? Because it can’t really be happening right now.
I trip as I make my way outside. I’m being clumsy on my feet because I’m freaking out over the news that Aaron is really Ms. Winters.
What the hell? How did he become Ms. Winters in the first place? And how did I miss that? She was in my fucking face the whole time and I had no clue.
I regain my balance before I completely bust my ass in the heavy snow. I trod my way back through the dense white powder, carefully taking my steps so that I don’t slip again. My goal is to make it back to my hotel room in the tower across from the bar, but as I walk, I begin to wonder if this is really the best course of action to take right now.
Aaron is really Ms. Fucking Winters?
Let me retrace my steps here, metaphorically, of course because there’s no way I’m going back there.
Think about that nightmare dream. You know, we all have it from time to time. The one where you wake up naked in a room full of people? Well, let that stew for a moment or two. Think about how that feels…in the dream specifically.
Now magnify it by, like, a million.
That’s how it feels right now for me, and how it felt when I was back at the bar and realized that Ethan and Cassie were approaching the same exact table.
To recap, when I first saw Cassie walking towards Ethan, my initial gut instinct was to stand up and panic. Also, run from the place. Get as far away as possible. Then, my cheeks flushed with heat when I had my ‘oh shit what is fucking happening?’ moment.
At first, confusion hit me like a ton of bricks.
Maybe Cassie forgot something and needed to talk to Ethan real quick. I mean, it wasn’t an entirely implausible scenario. I wouldn’t put it past Cassie either. She can be quite forgetful at times.
So at first, naturally, I gave them—and myself for that matter—the benefit of the doubt. If I wanted this plan to work out, I had to remain patient.
It’s when I spotted Aaron approaching the table that I knew something was desperately wrong.
Why was he there? I thought he had to get some work done?
This just wasn’t adding up…
I was even willing to en
tertain the thought that he finished his work early and wanted to wander around, coincidentally, but things were already not making sense. But he was heading for Cassie and Ethan’s table. Where Cassie and Ethan were sitting, looking very confused.
That’s when the burning heat scorched my skin and I began to put two and two together.
I realized Aaron must have been in on this mix up.
Shit, I was totally cringing inside. No, no, no, this really couldn’t be happening.
Okay, I was already pinching myself hard but I wasn’t not waking up. Why was I not fucking waking up?
Why, Aaron?
I didn’t know if I should run from the room and pretend like I had no idea what was happening here.
But of course that wouldn’t have worked.
Cassie and Ethan were so fucking bewildered in that moment. And fuck, so was I
My cover was blown so I figured may as well do my best to cover my tracks and explain the truth, right?
Wrong!
That’s when I decided I was totally going to bail. Run, run for it, Chloe.
So, this is it then, huh? I guess Aaron is Ms. Winters and of course I’m Mr. fucking BadBoy.
Now everyone knows, it’s out in the open. This should be a fantastic revelation, right?
No.
Aaron is Ms. Winters.
That means all this time, I’ve been talking to him and not realizing who he really was, but the same goes for him with me. From the look on his face, I don’t think he had a clue about this either.
I can’t believe every time I asked him about his job he was so aloof and unapproachable. He was probably trying to keep it a secret. Like I do with mine.
Maybe for future reference, I should take notes on how to not let guys be vague when explaining their careers to me. Okay, I’ve been vague about my job too. Fine. But still…
How could I have been so stupid?
Now as I make my way blindly across the resort, each step my feet make in the plush snow is a link to embarrassment, a walk of shame.
I need to dig my head out of my ass and take a deep breath to calm the fuck down, but inside my mind there’s a shitstorm happening and I can’t turn it off. Calm the fuck down, Chloe.
I need to sort my thoughts. Focus. Focus.