by S. Herrera
“She’s finally got one poking through on the bottom. It’s making her a little monster.” Everly says, accepting my change of topics. The rest of lunch is filled with casual conversation and updates on everyone’s life.
When it’s time to say goodbye, I walk with Everly to her SUV that Knox insisted she get once they were married and buckle Emmy in. When I shut her door, I turn to find Everly standing there waiting to tell me goodbye.
“Thank you for having lunch with us. It’s nice to spend time really getting to know you, and your niece adores you.” She pulls me in for a hug. Instinctively I tense under her touch, but there is just something about her that causes me to relax. She releases me from her hold and turns to open the door but stops to say, “Tell Wyatt I said hi.”
Before I have a chance to deny or respond in any way, she shuts the door, starts the engine, and pulls out of the parking lot.
About an hour later I’m walking into the coffee shop right down the street from my condo. To my surprise he is already there waiting at a table and as I approach, he stands to give me an awkward friendly hug. “Hey, how was lunch?”
I don’t answer right away, wanting to stay here in his arms, no matter how awkward this hug feels. “Umm, it was actually really good.” I say as he pulls away from me. I leave out the fact that Everly now knows pretty much everything about… whatever this is.
“That’s great. What would you like to drink? I’ll go order while you get situated.” His smile is back to being easy and natural.
“I’ll take an Irish cream americano with an extra shot and splash of oat milk, please.” He winks and walks up to the counter where the barista is waiting for him. She’s cute and I can’t help but watch as she attempts to flirt with him. Of course, Wyatt being Wyatt, he is completely oblivious.
I force myself to turn away and set up my books and notepads to prepare for the study session. Making sure that I have everything set up just so, I place my bag on the back of the chair and check my phone while I wait for Wyatt to come back with my coffee.
My eyes wander away from my phone and back over to where Wyatt stands waiting for the barista to finish my coffee. Is she too busy giggling and flipping her hair around to realize that he is here with someone? Seriously.
It doesn't take long to understand that this feeling rushing through me is jealousy. How is this friendship going to work if I can't keep my feelings somewhat under control...? If I can't make him see that it wouldn't be the end of the world for us to try... something.
What was I thinking? It's still too soon to see her after that kiss. I should have waited at least a few more days.
Would that have really helped though?
This is going to blow up in my face, I can feel it. I'm not working hard enough to push my feelings down when she’s around. And that hug, I just wanted to bury my face in the crook of her neck, hold onto her tight and never let go. The feeling I get from holding her in my arms is everything.
But then I remember my conversation with Knox earlier today. He showed up at my apartment, unannounced, saying we needed to talk.
As I stand in the open doorway staring at Knox, I can’t help but thinking how this can’t end well. Why would he need to talk to me?
I’m still standing there speechless, staring at Knox, who is obviously running low on patience as he pushes past me and makes his way into my apartment.
“Hello, it’s good to see you too! I’m great, thank you, how are you?” I rattle off to make up for his lack of greeting and follow him into the living room.
He stands in the middle of the living room and I pass by him, walking into the kitchen. I grab a couple of waters out of the fridge and offer one to him. He takes it, and we head out onto my small balcony where we both lean against the rail in silence until I can’t take it anymore. “Why are you here?”
“We need to talk.”
“Yes, you already said that. Randomly showing up here makes that clear. What do we need to talk about?” I clarify, letting my frustration bleed through.
“My sister.” He says looking me directly in the eyes, causing my mouth to go dry.
I fumble with the water bottle in my hand trying to get the lid off so that I can take a drink. Anything to avoid this conversation.
“What about your sister?” I'm not going to admit anything until he tells me exactly what it is that he's here for. And probably not even then.
He lets loose the breath he's been holding, “My dad thinks he saw something between the two of you at the wedding. And I've noticed you guys have gotten closer.” He's waiting for me to confirm or deny.
I will do no such thing.
“Anyway, I told him he had nothing to worry about because you are fully aware that my little sister is off limits. Right?”
I look him in the eye, “I'm aware. Your sister needs a friend right now and I've been that friend. That's it.” The words hurt, but at least they aren't lies. She needs a friend and I need to keep my feelings in check so that I don't ruin this friendship.
And she's Knox's little sister. As much as I can't stand the guy, I won’t be breaking that rule. Well, I won’t be breaking that rule again, I mean.
Standing to leave I turn back to him, “I respect that she is your little sister, and I have my own reasons for not pursuing her besides that fact. But I won’t back off as her friend.”
I walk away, back into the living room before he has a chance to respond because Knox and I don’t have the best track record for being civil with each other for anything length of time. He takes the cue, nodding as he passes through and walks out my front door.
I would never admit it out loud but he’s right that Sawyer is off limits, just not for the reasons he thinks… I have a pattern, I love wild girls who think they’re broken, and I’m not the guy to heal them.
“That will be four dollars.” The barista, who’s name tag says Anna, sets the coffee cup down in front of me a little harder than necessary.
Confused, I pull out my wallet and pay for the drink. Just a minute ago she was being so nice, I’m not sure what happened. Grabbing the coffee, I say thank you and head back to the table where Sawyer is all set up. When I turn, I catch her watching me, our eyes meeting briefly before she quickly looks back down at her phone.
I chuckle to myself as it clicks into place. Anna wasn’t just being nice, she was being flirty, which I didn’t respond to and that obviously made her cranky. But Sawyer, she’s jealous all the same. I want to revel in that knowledge. Instead, I push it down.
Sawyer’s not my girl, she will never be my girl. I need to drill that into my brain. We are strictly friends. I need to be her friend and keep the flirting in check, or I’ll give her the wrong idea.
Shit, maybe I should have flirted with the barista after all. The thought causes me to laugh out loud and it doesn’t go unnoticed.
“What’s so funny?” Sawyer takes her coffee as I approach the table. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. And nothing, I was just thinking about something.”
She raises an eyebrow at me but doesn’t say another word about it. I sit in the seat across from her, turning my attention to the books in front of us. I’d already laid my things out on one half of the table before Sawyer got here.
We spend a few minutes catching up on our weeks, classes, her job, and how big Emmy is getting. Then we get to work. We fall into a comfortable silence, reading, writing down notes, and occasionally looking up to catch the other watching. Soft smiles are traded and just like that we’re able to fall back into what we were before the kiss.
Our feelings aren't gone. They still linger between us, but we are pushing them aside to save the friendship that we have. To save each other.
I catch her emerald eyes watching me again, this time she holds my gaze before looking back down at her book. It’s then that I realize there is one more reason I've been fighting this so hard.
Sawyer has the power to destroy me. Heart and soul.
“So, there is this party at UNC on Friday to kick-off spring break... I should go, I want to go, but I don't want to go alone. Will you go with me?” She slides the last book into her bag before looking up at me.
I swear she knows just how to get to me, batting her lashes, only drawing attention to her eyes. Which somehow leads to me looking at her mouth. Her lips pressed together in the sweetest pout. I remember what they felt like against mine. What they tasted like.
“Wyatt?” She says my name and my eyes dart back up to hers.
“Uhh, yeah. Sure, that sounds great.” I agree, and it takes me a second to remember what I agreed to. A party, right.
“Thank you.” Smiling she turns toward the door and I follow, reaching out ahead of her to open the door for her.
Neither of us says a word as I walk her down the street to her building.
“I'll text you later.” She says before walking through the door and I walk back down the street to the coffee shop where I left my car, smiling the entire way.
chapter eight
Rushing around my room, I try on another shirt before grimacing in the mirror and tossing it to my bed with the rest of the discarded shirts. Why am I being so weird about this? It’s just a shirt. Just a party. Just Wyatt.
At the same time his name passes through my mind, the intercom buzzes and I freeze. He’s here. I scramble around looking for my phone to check the time. Shit. He is right on time so I can’t even blame it on him being early.
Instead of running out to the front room I quickly type out a text letting him know I will be out in just five minutes. We both know it will be longer. Not because I take too long to get ready or primp. But because I am indecisive and if it's not work or school, I am never on time.
I flip through the remaining shirts hanging in my closet and decide on a simple black cropped tee. My pants are just high waisted enough to leave only a sliver of my midriff bare. I search through the pile on my bed looking for my worn denim jacket and find it just before I'm about to give up.
Running through the house I turn off all the lights, slipping into my combat boots right in front of the door. I backtrack to the counter, grabbing my purse and keys. Then I’m out the door, taking the stairs instead of the elevator to try and make up some time.
When I burst through the lobby doors out onto the sidewalk, I run directly into a hard, solid wall of muscle. My Wyatt.
He chuckles, deep and rumbly. It feels like a finger trailing up my spine, leaving tingles and goosebumps in its wake. “In a hurry?” He doesn’t release the hold he has on my shoulders, keeping me pressed to him.
When I look up at him our lips are just a breath a part. “Yeah.” It comes out on a sigh, and I am just about to lift up on my toes to close the space between us.
But before I can make the move, he takes the slightest step back, coughing. “You should be careful.” His voice is low and strained.
I take a step back, putting more distance between us, hoping it will clear my head. “Sorry about that.” I laugh, but it sounds forced.
“No problem,” He says looking down at his watch, “We should get going though.” Wyatt, the gentleman that he is, walks the ten feet from where we stand to the passenger side, opening the door and waiting for me to get in.
“Thank you.” I get in and take a few deep breaths as he rounds the car, getting in with an effortless smile in place.
We drive and I play with the music, changing the stations until I find something I can live with. It’s a country song that I love, about a woman who’s been through it all and the man that loves her in all her messy glory. He didn’t need to save her or change her, and it makes me think of Wyatt.
It always come back to Wyatt.
The party is awful. The music is loud, the people are drunk, and I’m still holding the drink Wyatt got me when we walked through the door. I’m not having fun, and I don’t want to be here.
A girl in one of my study groups invited me and I thought I could kill two birds with one stone. Make a friend and have a regular college experience. This was not what I had in mind. She said it would be a small, casual party. This is a rager, and this house has to be filled to near capacity.
It reminds me of the hotel afterparties that Erik used to drag me to. Full of drugs, alcohol, and people making poor choices. Not my scene and certainly not an experience I wish to relive.
I toss back the remainder of my drink before motioning for Wyatt to lean down so that I can speak into his ear. “I don’t want to be here.”
He pulls back to look at my face before speaking near my ear, and I have to fight to focus on his words when his mouth brushes the outside of my ear. “We can leave right now if you want.” Again, he pulls away to look at me and I nod my head yes.
Wyatt takes my cup and sets in on a nearby table. Then he takes my hand leading me through the crowds of people as he clears a path for us. I follow, keeping close to him so we don’t get separated. When we step foot outside, I feel like I can finally breath again.
“Thank you for getting me out of there. Are all college parties like that?”
“Pretty much.” He shrugs, then takes a step to me, placing his hands on my arms, rubbing up and down. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, it just brought back bad memories of afterparties I didn’t want to be at either.” I savor his touch and the comfort it brings. “Will you take me home?”
“Of course.” Dropping his hands from my arms, he lets one slide down until he catches my hand in his own. I hold on to him as he and I walk hand in hand to his car.
We pass through the building to the elevator, and I can’t help but feel déjà vu, thinking about the last time he walked me up to my front door. “You don’t have to walk me up, I’ll be fine.” I tell him, hoping he’ll take the hint and we can part ways here. I don’t want a repeat of the kiss, I’m not sure if my pride could handle it.
“I’m walking you up, Sawyer.” He insists as he presses the button to my floor.
I try to sneak a peek at him from beneath my lashes. He is standing only inches away, but I crave more of his touch. A part of me wants to tempt fate, to tempt him, and make a move. But he’ll only push me away again and I swore to myself that I would put these feelings aside. That I wouldn’t let them affect our friendship.
The doors open but I’m too lost in my head to notice until Wyatt’s hand rests on my lower back, softly pushing me forward. The contact, even with layers of clothing between us, sends a tingle up my spine. I wish he didn’t stir this kind of reaction in me, yet I make sure to walk slow enough so I don’t break from his touch.
When I get to the door I punch in the code and open the door, pausing to turn and look at Wyatt before walking through. “Thanks. I guess I’ll talk to you… later.” I hesitate when he looks at me. There is something different in his eyes. Something that looks a lot like fire. Passion.
Wyatt takes a step toward me then another and another until his body is nearly pressed against mine. He snakes his hand up my neck and into my hair, pulling me towards him until his lips are pressed to my own. It feels like there is more behind this kiss than just the inability to fight the want and need.
His tongue traces my lips, asking for entry. This time he’s the one to deepen our kiss. He loops his free arm around my waist, taking control.
Then he stops. Again.
I place one last small kiss to her lips before pulling away, then watch as emotions flash in her eyes. Anger is the first emotion I recognize.
“I guess this is a repeat of last time.” She spits the words like venom.
I throw up my arms in frustration before snapping. “Fuck it! Sawyer, I am tired of trying to fight this. Fight you.” I grab her, kissing her again,
rougher this time. Walking Sawyer backwards through the door, I kick it closed behind me.
Before I can gather her up in my arms, she presses her hands against my chest, putting space between us. “Look Wyatt. I don’t know what this is or what you think it might be… but I’m not looking for forever or anything. I just-”
I fuse my mouth to hers, cutting off the rest of her ramble. I don’t have the answers but I’m willing to take the risk. I’ve finally given in to her, ready to take a chance on whatever this might be. If she keeps talking, I might start to see reason again.
And I don’t want to do that, I don’t want to let her go.
When she starts kissing me back, it’s clear she’s giving me permission to continue. I bend down, grabbing her by the thighs and pack her to the couch. She breaks the kiss long enough to redirect me.
“My room is that way,” she motions toward the hallway with her head and a daring grin in place.
I hesitate. It’s too soon.
“Don’t over think it, Wyatt.” Her lips trail down my neck lightly brushing soft kisses down to my collar bone. And for once, I don’t.
I change directions, making a beeline for her room. When I reach her bed, I gently lower her down and pause for a moment to take her in. Her red messy hair is splayed across her gray bedspread, her shirt riding up to expose even more of her skin, and her lips slightly parted with her heavy beathing. The sight of all this, all of her, stirs something deep inside of me.
I take off my t-shirt, only breaking eye contact with Sawyer while I pull it over my head. “Your turn.” I nod at the shirt she is still wearing.
“As you wish.” She sits up, ripping off her shirt and tossing it across her room, quickly followed by her bra.
I’m stunned into silence, only able to watch while she unbuttons her jeans, lifts her hips and slides them off.
She slides up the bed, resting against the headboard in nothing but her underwear and winks at me. “Your turn.”