by Cindi Madsen
“Well, I didn’t!” Summer scooted away from him, re-buttoning her pants. Her breaths were still coming too fast, and she missed his weight on top of her, even as she was thinking inviting him over was a mistake. “I meant what I said. That I could use the company. That we could hang out.”
Cody shook his head. “It’s not enough anymore. I think you’re just playing with me. I tell you I love you, and you never say anything back. You constantly push me away. You’re a tease. I put up with a lot that I wouldn’t have to with someone else.”
Hot tears sprung to her eyes, and she tried to quickly blink them away. “You said you were done pressuring me.”
“Do you love me?”
“You know I do,” she said, surprising herself. Maybe she’d held back saying it, but she knew she did love him. That was why it was so hard to fight with him. To not have sex, when she wasn’t even sure exactly why she was holding back. It wasn’t like the desire wasn’t there.
“Well, I’m sick of going home frustrated and in pain every night,” Cody said, his voice harsh. “Is that how you want me to feel?”
An ache formed over her heart, deepening with every beat. “You’re trying to guilt me into it?”
“No, I’m just saying, I’m done with this. You tell me to go, I’ll go.” Cody’s eyes bored into hers. “But if I do, I’m leaving for good. This is it.”Summer clenched her jaw. He’d given her an ultimatum. Give it up or he’d find someone else. Pain squeezed her chest and more tears were rising, blurring her vision. “Go then! Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”
Cody stood and headed for the door.
This is it. If he walks out the door, it’s over.
He didn’t even turn back and look at her before slamming the door behind him.
***
Summer jerked up on the couch when she heard Dad come home. Her eyes burned from a combination of crying and staring at the television, and she had that special kind of headache that came from letting all of your emotions explode out of you in the span of a couple of hours.
“Hey, kid.” Dad flopped onto the couch next to her and sank back against the cushions. “What are you still doing up?”
Summer took a deep breath, trying to keep her voice steady. “Couldn’t sleep. How was the play?”
“Tiffany liked it. I got a little bored.” Dad’s eyebrows knitted together as he studied her face. “Have you been crying over that boy, because I was serious about the two-strike rule.”
Suddenly, she felt like a little kid, and damn it, she wanted her mommy. She leaned her head on her dad’s shoulder, blinking against the fresh wave of tears. “We broke up. It’s over.” Telling Dad also ensured she wouldn’t fall for another sorry apology, even if Cody attempted one.
Dad tentatively patted her knee, as though he wasn’t really sure how to comfort her. “Do you…want to talk about it? I realize I’m not your mom…”
Mom would’ve been smother-hugging her by now; then there’d be ice cream. So much ice cream. Summer’s heart thudded, and she wanted to laugh and cry, all at the same time.
“…but I can try. I’m good at listening, anyway.”
The image of Dad strangling Cody popped into her head. No way she’d be telling him the truth about what happened. She sat up and scooted to the end of the couch. “Thanks, but I think I’m just going to go to bed.”
“Night, kid.”
“Night, Dad.” Already Summer’s thoughts were on how crappy tomorrow was going to be.
Chapter Seven
Summer put on her game face and trudged up the steps of the school. She’d been tempted to call in sick, but the Unicorn Stench show was today. No way Dad would let her skip school and still go to the concert.
Please let tonight be the night I finally connect with Ashlyn. I could really use a win.
“So,” Kendall said, stepping next to Summer. “I was thinking tomorrow night we make our boys take us to dinner. There’s this great new seafood place on the beach where The Shack used to be, and Jack said it’s really good.”
“Cody and I broke up last night.” Saying the words aloud made Summer want to start crying all over again.
Kendall came to an abrupt stop, her eyes going wide. “Shut up!”
Summer told her friend the same thing she’d been telling herself since last night: “It’s for the best. He and I weren’t working anymore.”
Kendall slid her arm around Summer’s waist and gave her a quick side hug. “I’m so sorry. I know it seems like the end of the world now, but you two just need some space. He’ll realize what he’s lost and come crawling back, you mark my words.”
“Kendall, it’s over. There’s nothing he could say…” Summer rubbed her temples, the headache she’d had since last night growing with a vengeance. “I don’t want to talk or even think about it anymore.”
“Well, it explains why you look so rough this morning.” Kendall’s gaze dropped to the T-shirt Summer had thrown on, disapproval filling her eyes. “I know how to make you feel better, though. You can come over tonight and we’ll have a girls’ night. We can eat ice cream and watch a movie.”
“Thanks, but I’m going to a show with Troy and some other friends.”
“But you’re planning on eating lunch with the girls today, right?” Kendall’s eyebrows shot up. “People are starting to wonder about you, you know. Everyone’s asking me why you’ve gone all weird lately.”
Summer pushed through the front doors of the school. “Let them wonder. I don’t have the energy to deal with it. Besides, they’ll all be happy I’m not there. It’ll give them a chance to gossip about me and Cody’s break up.” She gave a half-hearted wave to Kendall and weaved her way through the crowded hallway, headed toward her locker.
She froze when she saw Cody standing in the hall, her heart stopping along with her feet. While she imagined she looked all mopey, he seemed to be perfectly fine. In fact, he had his arm around Jenna Cambell, the very skank who’d thrown herself at him when Summer had been out of town last month. If there was any truth at all to Jenna’s reputation, Cody shouldn’t have a problem getting what he wanted from her.
Pain radiated through her chest. She wished that his being a jerk last night erased all feelings she had for him. Unfortunately, it didn’t work that way.
Doing her best to bury her sorrow deep, where no one else could see it, she retrieved her books as quickly as possible and charged down the hall. When she got into her first period classroom, she sat down and took big breaths, trying to erase the images and hurt feelings, and failing at both.
“Ready for the show tonight?” Troy asked. “It’s going to be awesome.”
Summer glanced at Troy and did her best to sound enthusiastic. “Yeah. I’m looking forward to it.”
Troy’s eyebrows drew together. “You look kind of sad, Sunshine. What’s up?”
Summer shook her head, not wanting her voice to betray her. Her throat burned with the effort to keep from bursting into tears, but she managed to choke out, “Nothing.”
Troy opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, Mr. Jennings stood and started his lecture. He dove into the topic of ionic and covalent bonds, managing to add even more to Summer’s misery.
***
Summer stuffed her money into her pocket and hurried out of her bedroom. As she descended the stairs, Troy and Dad came into view. They stood in the entryway, their voices too low for her to make out words. When she’d first started dating Cody, Dad kept asking what had happened to Troy. He hadn’t been very subtle when it came to his preference about who he’d rather her spend time with. Even after she explained that she and Troy were still friends, but they were both with other people, Dad continued to ask about him.
Dad stuck his fingers between the blinds, creating a gap large enough to see out the window, and peered outside. “You’re still driving the Cherokee, I see.”
The first time Troy had picked her up to go to Equinox, Dad had gone out to inspect
the Jeep. Instead of acting annoyed like most people did, Troy had gotten down on the ground and proved how much he knew about his vehicle. Dad ate it up.
“I am,” Troy said. “And all the maintenance is up to date.”
“Good.” Dad turned away from the window and looked at her. “Just you and Troy tonight?”
“No, we’re picking up a couple more people. It’s not a raging party unless you’ve got lots of peeps.” Summer stuck out her tongue and threw both hands up in the rock and roll sign.
Dad let her know he didn’t think her joke was funny by furrowing his brow. “You’ve got your mace?”
“Dad, they won’t let me into the club with mace.”
“Right.” Dad gave Troy a stiff pat on the back. “Then I’m counting on you. Don’t let her out of your sight.”
Troy slung his arm over Summer’s shoulders, jostling her against him. “I’ll take good care of her, Mr. Davis, I swear.” He grinned, obviously happy with his over-the-top performance—she couldn’t help but smile at it either.
Dad gave one sharp nod. “I like this guy. Troy, you should come over more often.”
“Oh, I’m sure Summer’s boyfriend would feel differently.”
“You didn’t tell him?” Dad asked, glancing at Summer. “In theory, Cody’s history. Right, kid?”
Summer breathed through the sting those words caused and nodded. “Right. Now we’re going to be late if you don’t let us go. We’ve still got more people to pick up, and who knows how long their parents’ protective speeches are going to be.”
“Okay, okay. Be good, and be careful. Remember, defensive driving is smart driving.”
“Later, Dad.” Summer grabbed Troy’s arm and pulled him out the door, wanting to forget about everything and get on with this night. An entire week had gone by since she’d first seen Gabriella, and so far, she didn’t have anything to show for her efforts. Tonight’s mission was to get Ashlyn over her prejudice so Summer could start with the rest of her job, which she still had no clue how to do.
Troy opened the passenger door of the Jeep for her. He got in, and fired up the engine. “So, you and Cody are finished?”
“We broke up yesterday.”
Troy glanced over his shoulder, then pulled onto the street. “Why?”
Summer took a deep breath, trying to figure out how much to share.
“Sorry,” Troy said. “I guess I shouldn’t be prying.”
“I really just want to forget about him and have fun tonight.” She picked at a thread on her jeans, not wanting to say more, but not wanting things to be weird. “Hey, you think they’ll play Obligatory tonight? I’ve always wanted to hear it live.”
“They better. It is the song our friendship was founded on. That and the keys.”
Summer grinned, remembering the first day she met Troy.
Feeling a little lost and lonely at her new school, Summer had put in her earphones, turned up her music, and found an empty bench outside. A group of boys were skateboarding around the parking lot, jumping curbs and doing tricks. She watched them, remembering her brief stint as a skateboarder back in Chicago—she’d taken it up to impress a guy. She crashed a lot, never got a hang of the really cool tricks, and ended up realizing the guy was totally wrong for her, though he ended up being a great friend.
Troy’s tricks brought him closer and closer to the bench. After a few minutes, he rolled up to her, tapped the end of the skateboard with his foot, and caught it in his hand. “So, what are you listening to?”
“Obligatory, by Unicorn Stench,” Summer said, thinking she was hardcore. Hardly anyone had heard of the band.
“You know they’re from here. I saw them play last year.”
“Really? I bet they’re killer live.”
“It was definitely one of the best shows I’ve ever been to.” He sat next to her on the bench. “How ‘bout The Black Keys?”
Summer scrolled down her list of songs and held her iPod up so Troy could see all the Black Keys’ songs on the screen. “Not only do I have ‘Wicked Messenger’ by them, I also have Bob Dylan’s version. And while the purist in me wants to say the original’s better, I can’t help but love the Black Keys’ version. The guitar and the drums and Dan Auerbach’s voice.” She gave a dramatic sigh. “It’s just all so perfect.”
“I think that’s the hottest thing a girl’s ever said to me.” Troy grabbed her hand. “Run away with me?”
She laughed, and it came out a little nervous sounding, due to the fact he was holding her hand and her stomach was filling with butterflies.
He smiled at her, still not letting go. “Troy, by the way.”
“Summer.”
“Troy, are you coming, or what?” One of the guys in the parking lot yelled.
“Sounds like I’ve got to go.” Troy released her hand and grabbed his board. “I’ll see you around, Sunshine,” he said and then strolled toward the parking lot where his friends were holding open a car door for him. She was starting after him when he spun around and flashed her another smile.
Imagine her disappointment when she found out he already had a girlfriend.
After that first meeting, she would be walking down the halls and hear, “Hey, Sunshine!” Immediately, she’d know it was Troy, coming to update her on a cool new band he’d heard. He was much more of a music snob than she was. He hated the dance music she loved, claiming if instruments weren’t involved it wasn’t true music, and there was no convincing him otherwise.
Now, Summer stared at him again, taking in his profile in the dim interior of the Jeep. A lot had changed since the day they’d met. Yet being there with him, on their way to a show, reminded her of everything she used to love doing. Of all the little things she’d given up because of her relationship with Cody.
“Thanks for inviting me tonight,” she said. “I’m really excited to hear the new stuff.”
Troy glanced at her. “Me too. I’m glad we’re hanging out again.”
A spark of happiness broke through the sadness she’d been feeling all day. If only it could carry through the night and help her accomplish her mission, she might just survive the week after all.
***
Equinox was busier than normal. People lined the bar, and there was room to walk, but just barely. As usual, the black floors of the old building were slightly sticky. Small tables dotted the back half of the room and ran up along the sides. Flashing lights lit the dance floor in the middle. Up front, the stage stuck out in a semi-circle.
The place brought back memories of Summer’s first few months here, when she’d been all about coming to the shows with Troy and his friends. Whenever Kristen had come with them, she’d stare Summer down, keeping herself draped around Troy the entire time.
“It feels good to be back,” Summer said, even enjoying the familiar scent of stale, sweat-tinged air. After the big blowout fight she and Cody had about her going places with Troy, she’d stopped coming to Equinox altogether.
Who needs him? It’s nice to be free again.
“Let’s go find a place close to the stage,” said Kevin, a friend of Troy’s they’d picked up on the way. “Then we can see how they set up.”
Troy bounced on the balls of his feet, the way he did when he was especially excited about a show. “Sounds good.”
Summer wanted a read on Ashlyn, so as they followed the guy toward the front, she bumped into her, making sure their arms brushed. No grim scenes flashed before Summer’s eyes, but Ashlyn shot her a dirty look.
“Sorry,” Summer mumbled. “It’s kind of crowded.” Well, at least Ashlyn should make it through the night. Next step, getting the girl to stop hating her. “So, what’s your favorite song by these guys?”
“Finding Me. It got me through a hard time in my life.”
“That’s a good one. My personal fave is I Should.”
“Yeah, every poseur likes that song.”
Summer’s mouth dropped open. Before she could respond to that accusation—s
he was so not a poseur—Ashlyn moved to the other side of Kevin. Clearly, she was never going to like her.
Maybe I should just give her the stupid relationship brochure and feel good I’ve done my part.
Troy glanced back at her, then jerked his head to gesture her over. “Can’t take my eyes off you, remember?”
It took her a moment to realize he was echoing Dad’s orders. “Right,” she said, stepping next to him.
“Hey.” Troy put his hand on her back and leaned close enough to be heard over the guy announcing tonight’s line-up. “We’re about to watch one of our favorite bands. You shouldn’t look so sad.”
Summer glanced from Ashlyn back to Troy. “Ashlyn hates me. I’ve tried to be nice, but she’s determined to keep disliking me for whatever reason.”
“So? Why do you care if she likes you? She’s a cool girl and all, but you have other friends.”
It would be nice to be able to tell the truth. The whole truth would be hard to swallow, though. Summer struggled to get it down herself, and she’d started seeing…whatever Gabriella was. She shrugged. “I just got a feeling that we would be friends. I have excellent intuition you know.”
“Well, I’ve seen who you hang out with most of the time, so you’ll understand if I doubt your intuition.”
Summer elbowed him. “Hey, I hang out with you, Mister Bond. Apparently, I’ve chosen some of my friends well.”
A grin spread across his face. “You’ve got me there.”
The crowd around them erupted in cheers as Unicorn Stench took the stage. Summer went ahead and hollered along with them. She yelled even louder when they opened with I Should.
Francie’s scratchy voice echoed through the room as she sang out the lyrics.
If I told you I missed you, would you change your mind
If I begged you to stay, would you still leave me behind
I know I should move on, I should try
Instead of sitting here alone, asking why
I should go back and change the day we met,
delete the day our paths first crossed
Maybe then, oh maybe then, I wouldn’t feel so lost