She couldn't keep doing that to him. In the morning, she decided she would go away and never come back. She couldn't keep living on Buck's land and hurting him like this. She still didn't have any control over her lion. Until she did, she could never be the woman Buck needed.
She was broken, damaged goods. She hadn't gained any control during her time on the mountain, and it was time she came to accept that. She had been silly and selfish to think that if she just stuck it out a while longer, she could someday have Buck and the life that he promised.
She never wanted to see that look in his eyes again and know that she was the cause of it. It hurt too much. An owl hooted in the dark outside her cave and she shivered under her thick parka. She made herself a cup of coffee from the grounds Buck had left and settled in for a long night of solitude.
She couldn't sleep, even if she tried, and didn't even want to. She sipped the bittersweet brew and let out a long sigh, resigned to her fate as a solitary broken shifter. She didn't know where she would go or what she would do next.
All she knew was that she needed to get away from here, and she needed to stop hurting Buck. He should find someone else to help him and take care of him the way he deserved. She knew that most shifters only wanted their fated mates, and she knew she could never love anyone else but Buck.
But Alex Terry certainly hadn't cared that she wasn’t his mate. Just as she thought of Alex Terry and the night he’d bitten her, she heard a branch crack in the woods. She looked up and there was a dark figure standing in the mouth of her cave. His face was covered by the hood of his jacket. His scent filled her nostrils and she scrambled backwards.
“What are you doing here?” she snapped.
Alex Terry, the feral lion, walked into her cave with a strange light in his eyes, a cruel smile on his lips, hands open as if in surrender. Maria scrambled to her feet and faced him.
“How did you find me?” she snapped.
“Your boyfriend is very bad at covering his tracks. I’ve known that you were matched since the night I bit you. Don’t you remember? I saw the results on your Mate.com app.” He paused, letting it sink in that she didn’t remember. “Then he bought female outdoor clothing from the camping store the day everyone from the Bright Institute was out searching for you. I know that they are out searching for you again now, everywhere but Timber Bear Ranch. All I had to do was put two and two together. I investigated the edge of the Timber Bear Ranch property and smelled the campfire. Lo and behold, here you are.”
“Why did you come here?” Maria asked.
She wished her lioness would protect her now as this evil man stared her down in the one place she thought she was safe.
“Because Maria,” he started, walking further into her cave. He sat down at the fire and crossed his legs, pouring himself a cup of coffee. Maria stood on the other side of the cave, staring at him as he enjoyed her coffee.
“This is delicious,” he said. “Did Buck bring it to you?”
“That's none of your business.”
“But it is my business, Maria. I chose you. I want you.”
“I told you a thousand times that I am not your fated mate. That's the whole reason I signed up for Mate.com and found Buck in the first place. I wanted to prove to you that we do not belong together. You are a shifter. Why can't you get that through your head?” she demanded.
“I don't care about things like fated mates, Maria. I want you for everything that you are.”
“Why would you want me? I’m an orphan. I used to get beat up on every day in my old neighborhood. Then I was kidnapped by human traffickers. I’m a mess. Why do you that?”
“Because Maria. You and all of your broken parts are exactly what I desire.”
“What's the matter with you?” she asked.
He stood suddenly, his eyes blazing with his inner animal. His lips curled back to expose sharp white teeth. He approached her, the scent of his animal flowing off him in waves. She felt his dominance radiate against. It was brutal, sadistic and unkind. She could barely stand. Her inner lioness was nowhere to be found.
“You want me because I'm damaged?” she said as he stood before her, his teeth clenched and his lips curled back. He stared down into her with wild, yellow eyes.
“Yes,” he whispered. “That's exactly what I want. I love how broken you are. Unlike your boyfriend, Buck, I don't want to put you back together. I want to break you down more and more and more. I want to see how far you can go. That's why I put the lion inside you. Now you're exactly where I want you. And I’ll never let you go again.”
“You're insane!” Maria screamed.
“Sanity is just a human concept. I don't follow human standards. I follow my own.”
“You don't follow shifter standards either. You have no honor,” she snapped, knowing the kind of man her true mate was, and the kind of honor that he had shown her.
“What makes you think that all shifters are like the Kincaids?” he scoffed, grabbing her arm.
“Because I know plenty of shifters who are,” she yelled as he yanked her through the cave.
In human form, Alex was much stronger than Maria. She was powerless to resist him. He pulled her out of her cave just as the morning sunlight was starting to creep over the mountains.
“Where are you taking me?” she demanded.
“I need to show you something, Maria.”
He continued pulling her through the forest and up a steep grade. They finally came out into a clearing and walked out to a drop off over a cliff. The drop was hundreds of feet and the mountains stretched out before her in the distance.
“What do you see, Maria?” Alex asked her, standing behind her with his arms gripping her biceps.
His fingers bit cruelly into her skin and she tried to elbow him in the stomach with no results. She begged her inner lioness to come out and protect her. But the beast was subdued. She felt a tear slide down her cheek. Why was she so weak and out of control? Why couldn't she just stand up for herself and what she believed in?
“I asked you what you see?” he whispered in her ear.
“I see Fate Mountain, the hills, and the forests in the valley below.”
“What else do you see?” he asked, his hot breath wafting across her face.
“I see a cliff. And the long fall.”
Alex kicked some rocks over the ledge and they fell. The crash below wasn't even audible.
“That's right, Maria,” he said. “Now it's time for you to ask yourself. What matters more: your life, or some silly ideas about honor, fate, and soulmates?”
“I already know the answer to that,” Maria said, pressing her eyes closed and taking a deep breath.
Her life mattered very little if she didn't have her principles. If she didn't have hope or something to believe in, she might as well throw herself off this cliff right now and end it all.
When she opened her eyes, she was ready to tell Alex all of that but she stopped short. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a flash of movement. She looked in that direction just in time to see Buck’s grizzly barreling into the clearing.
He ran so fast that he smacked into Alex Terry, who was forced to let go of Maria. She tumbled to the side, almost slipping dangerously close to the ledge, but she managed to scramble away. She got to her feet as Alex shifted and turned on Buck’s grizzly.
The lion and the grizzly faced each other. Alex lunged at Buck. Buck threw him back. They fought and clawed at each other. Buck was far bigger and stronger. But Alex was filled with some insane power that fueled him with frenzy.
Alex jumped onto Buck’s back and positioned himself to bite down on the grizzly's neck. Maria felt her lioness come forward from deep within. The animal offered herself in that moment, completely surrendered to Maria's human mind and power.
Maria took a long, gasping breath that was cut off by her shift. She ripped out of her clothing and jumped into the fray, immediately knocking Alex Terry off of Buck’s back before he could bi
te down on her mate's neck. Buck looked at her in surprise and she nodded at his grizzly, letting him know that she was there and in control.
She would remember this first moment of control for the rest of her life. The distraction gave Alex just enough time to jump at Buck again, but Maria lunged at him first, biting and clawing at the rogue lion.
There was a chaos of claws and fangs and growls and bites as the three of them fought on the mountaintop. Buck drew back, pulling up onto his hind legs in a huge display of power and dominance. He landed back on the ground with a ferocious bellow that forced Alex backwards. As Alex regrouped and went for another pounce at Buck, Maria lunged at him, forcing him backwards as hard as she could. Buck charged forward and smacked the lion.
Alex sprang at Maria and she slashed at him with the last of her strength, slicing him across the face. The lion twisted and fell, catching himself on the ledge with his claws. Buck shifted quickly and tried to reach out a hand for the falling lion.
Alex’s lion lost his grip just before Buck could grab his paw. He fell down to the bottom of the cliff, hundreds of feet below. Maria walked forward in her lion form and shifted right at the ledge. She stood naked in the wind as the blue sky scratched overhead. Buck stood beside her and they stared silently at the body that had fallen below.
“He's gone,” Maria said softly.
“He'll never bother you again,” Buck said, reaching out to hold her hand.
“Can we go home now?” Maria asked.
“I thought you'd never ask.”
Chapter 13
Maria stepped through the door of Buck's house, the afternoon sunlight filtering through the curtains.
“You live with your brother Jessie?” she asked.
“I do, but Jessie's building himself a cabin to live in.”
“That's nice,” she said.
“Leland and Jessie are both up on the mountain today, filling the quota for my timber shipment this week.”
“Nobody's going to be coming home anytime soon?” Maria asked, pulling the blanket tighter around her shoulders that she'd worn home in Buck's truck.
“No. We’re all alone,” he said, stepping closer to her and brushing her long hair over her shoulder. “Tonight, I'm going to take care of you. The first thing I want to do is show you my bathroom remodel.”
“Bathroom remodel?” she repeated with a teasing smile.
“I built this house myself. Then a few years later, I remodeled the master bathroom to put in a garden tub. It has Jacuzzi jets.”
“That sounds so good,” she moaned.
“Let me show you,” he said taking her hand. They walked up the stairs to the second floor of Buck's three-bedroom house and into the master bedroom.
There was a big king-size bed with a fluffy blue down comforter spread across it. The bed itself had thick wooden posts. The chest of drawers and ends tables had the same thick masculine wood.
“I had Angus Grant make me this bedroom set,” Buck said. “He’s the one they call Big Bear on the Rescue Bears.”
“The Rescue Bears?”
“Oh, darn it,” Buck said, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “I'm going to start your bath. Then I'm going to inform everyone that I found you and brought you home safe.”
The plan set, he led her into the bathroom. The floor was covered with white subway tile and a matching marble countertop stood against the wall. An elegant stainless steel faucet completed the clean look. The tub he’d chosen wasn't your run-of-the-mill plastic tub. It was porcelain and with a beveled edge with inlaid tile all around the backsplash. It sat under a window, lined with potted plants. She could see a view of the sky and the cattle pasture below. Buck turned on the faucet and tested the temperature.
“This should take a few minutes to fill. I'm going to leave you to your bath while I make some calls.”
“What about Alex Terry?” Maria asked. “Shouldn't we tell someone where to find his body?”
Buck sighed. “We probably should.”
“Are we going to get into trouble for that?” Maria asked.
“It was self-defense.”
“I’m just so sorry it happened. I hated him but I didn’t want him dead.”
“I know babe. You’ve been through a lot. You don't have to feel sorry.”
“Thank you for being you, Buck. I know it couldn't have been easy.”
“Don't mention it,” Buck said. “You’re my mate. I know that I could have done more for you sooner. If I hadn't left to fulfill my obligations to the ranch, you never would have been kidnapped by Alex. I would've been there for you, but instead I left you, and a man's dead now.”
“You can't blame yourself for that, Buck. Your loyalty to your family is one of the many reasons I love you so much.”
He stepped away from the door and approached her, taking her face in his hands. He let out a long sigh and then pressed his lips to hers.
“I love you too, Maria. I have from the very first moment I saw your picture. I wish things had been easier for us. I wish I could have given you more, taken you on real dates and brought you flowers.”
“You gave me more than anyone could ever expect.”
“I hope it was enough,” he said, kissing her forehead.
“It was more than enough, Buck.”
“Thank you for saying that, Maria,” he said, resting his forehead against hers. “You take your bath. I’m going to make a few calls and get us something to eat.”
“Okay,” she said, unbuttoning the top button of her shirt with a smile.
Buck gave her a look filled with confusion and lust before he turned out the door. She peeled out of her clothes and stepped into the warm water, relieved that she could finally let Buck take care of her.
She sank into the bathtub and the hot water enveloped her. She sprinkled lemon verbena bath oil into the water and the delicate aroma filled her lungs. She let out a long sigh of contentment and slid below the surface of the water to soak her hair.
Maria rubbed shampoo into her hair and rinsed it out, then shampooed again a second time. Her hair had been a mess since she’d taken to the forest. She hadn't had a proper comb through it in weeks. She repeated the process with conditioner multiple times before her long brown locks were soft and she could run her fingers through the strands to remove the tangles. Once she had scrubbed the dirt encrusted in her skin clean and her body returned to the proper shade of dusty tan, a contented smile crept across her lips.
Buck knocked on the door softly and then peeked inside. There were bubbles on the surface of the water, shielding her body from his eyes. Not that she didn’t want him to see her. On the contrary, she wanted him to see everything. She was ready to give him all she had.
Maria slowly stood, soapsuds and water droplets running down her skin. She stepped out and stood on the bathmat, naked and soaking.
“What do you want for lunch?” he grunted.
“I don't want lunch,” she purred, stepping toward him as she wrapped a bathrobe lazily around her shoulders.
She approached and stood right before him. The smell of his grizzly’s masculine scent sent a thrill through her lioness and the now subdued feline purred behind her eyes. Her body woke with arousal as she smelled the scent of her mate. Buck growled and cupped the nape of her neck, pulling her forcefully to him. Her wet body crushed against his clothes, soaking him through. He kissed her unabashedly, thrusting his tongue into her mouth. She was so wet and relaxed and open that she melted in his strong arms.
“Lunch can wait,” he growled, lifting her in his arms. He took her into his room and laid her across the bed, her bathrobe falling open to reveal her naked body.
Buck ripped his flannel shirt open, his buttons popping violently across the room. Maria shrieked playfully as he ripped off the rest of his clothing. He climbed on the bed above her, the feral glow in his eyes full of lust and dominance. She melted, her back arching her legs spreading wide. She cupped his cheek and gazed into his powerful eye
s.
“Oh, Buck,” she whispered. “I've wanted to give myself to you for so long.”
He was hard as a stone above her and she reached down to stroke his length. Maria had never been with a man, but her lioness had no fear of what was to come. Buck slid between her legs. Not saying a word. He pressed the head of his cock between her folds, dipping his face into the crook of her neck to take a long draw of her scent.
“Mine,” he said in an animalistic voice.
He thrust once, hard, slicing through her. He split her open, pressing through the virgin resistance of her hymen. She groaned, but the pain subsided quickly as Buck held her close. The strength of his arms around her made her feel safe and protected.
“Yes,” she whimpered.
“Mine,” Buck growled, pulling back and thrusting with just as much intensity.
It didn’t hurt anymore, and the tears that had gathered in the corners of her eyes fell down her cheeks. She gasped and arched her neck, looking up at the ceiling. Buck had her now. He’d saved her. He’d helped her gain power over herself. And now she could finally let him have her, claim her, and make her his.
As Buck slid his thick rod into her body over and over, she knew that she needed to claim him too. She needed to know that they were both committed to each other in every way.
“Mine,” she said too, opening her mouth to press her teeth around Buck’s jugular vein.
He let out an animal roar as his own teeth pressed against her skin. He thrust and bit just as her teeth broke through into his neck. She tasted his blood as she gave him her mating bite. His teeth clamped down on her and her body throbbed and contracted in orgasm. Her body clenched his and he came deep inside her, as they bit hard into each other’s necks, claiming each other completely.
Maria could feel the bond of mates that had connected them all along spring into crystal clear focus. She gasped, even as she continued to hold firm to Buck’s neck, his teeth still buried in her, their bodies still intertwined.
The moment seemed to last for a lifetime as all of her pain and all of her past unraveled and released. All that was Buck, his goodness, his honor, his loyalty, his ethics, his morality his kind heart, it all enveloped her like a cocoon. Then all the broken pieces of herself, like scattered shards of glass, snapped back together to create a mirror. It showed a reflection of herself. How she was before she'd met Buck and then after. She knew then and there that she could be whole, she could be healed. All she had ever needed was to trust herself and Buck.
Saw Bear (Bear Shifter Lumberjack Romance) (Timber Bear Ranch Book 2) Page 7