After he accompanied me back home to ensure I made it safely as he stated, I grabbed my supplies and left for school in a hurry. I made no statements as to when we would reconnect, but I figured we would somehow bump into each other. After all, he knows where to find me.
I sat at my table with my sketchpad open and my pencil to my lips, deep in thought. I tried to find something to inspire me, but was coming up short each time, my thoughts always lingering to him. I have pads full of clothing sketches in great detail all the way to the color and pattern, yet now that I've met him I can't seem to draw a basic outline.
I was getting aggravated when I finally just threw my hands up, metaphorically speaking, and put the pencil point to the textured sheet of paper. I needed to keep my hands moving, even if not for clothing sketches. Sometimes I like to just draw what comes to mind. It always pulls me into this inner focus, not concentrating on any one thought. Here's the problem. When I allowed my mind to refocus on the drawing before me, it was Haddox the night we met at the fashion show. I had drawn him the way I saw him as he stood there staring at me. That was the moment I knew he was different. Before it was a thought, but in that second I knew I wasn't falling, but already there, even not knowing anything about him. My subconscious knew it, but my brain has been trying to deny it.
"Piper?"
It's just now that I realize I'm sitting on the phone, not saying anything. "Oh, sorry. What did you say?"
"Did you get a lot of studying done?"
"Not really. It seems like my idea flow has been blocked. I need an inspiration, but I'll find it. So...is there anything you can do about the nightmares? Are they frequent? Does anything make them stop?"
"You like questions, don’t you?"
I can hear the amusement in his voice. "I do, I suppose. I get curious about things and questions are my way to understand them. Is that a flaw?" The laughter of my most recent question filters through in my voice. He isn't the first person to notice.
"A quirk maybe, but not a flaw."
I'm not sure if that is supposed to be a compliment, but I'm going to assume so. "Do you always avoid answering them?"
"Almost always, but in this case I guess I could make an exception, because I kind of need you in on this theory to form a solution. I have nightmares every night with the exception of this past week in which they were infrequent."
I sit here, waiting for the rest of his explanation, but nothing comes. Pulling information out of him is next to impossible. "Okay...so, what happened on the days that you didn't have the nightmares? Maybe you could continue to do those things..."
"It's not that easy."
"Why?"
"Because that would require you being in my bed."
I stop breathing. My heart starts to race. My eyes enlarge. I'm beginning to feel flush. "Are you saying-"
"Yes."
"Do you want to come stay?"
The words come out of my mouth without even thinking. I can't help it. It just happened. Maybe it's the alcohol making me lax. My stomach is knotting up with nerves. I feel like I'm in high school with a stupid crush. He sits on the other end, not saying anything. Maybe I spoke prematurely. Shit, I probably came across as needy. Dammit, I'm not good at this. "That was stupid. It's late. I'm sure you have to work tomorrow and I have class. I guess I am about to go to sleep. Call or text me...um...tomorrow if you want."
"I'll be right there. Wait up for me." The line goes dead. I look at the screen to be sure. My home screen is visible. I jump up from my chair and slide my phone in the front pocket, grabbing the stem of the two empty glasses in my hand. Opening the door I rush inside, placing them on the bar top on the way to my room.
As soon as I walk in I start shedding my clothes on the way to the shower. I like to feel and smell clean, plus I want to make sure I don't need to shave. It shouldn't take him as long to get here since it's late at night. I have no time to waste. I turn the faucet on and let the water heat up while I pull my hair into a pile of mess on top of my head, resembling a loose bun.
I step in the shower, letting the hot water rain down onto my skin. I freeze for a moment, enjoying the warm temperature as it pours down my body. The tension starts to melt away. I don't know what the hell I'm doing with him. My emotions are building so fast I'm getting whiplash. I've only been in one relationship and that didn't turn out good at all. I haven't been slightly interested in dating someone else at all...until him. I'm going to screw this up somehow. It's coming, I just don't know how or when. Obviously, it was me the first time around, or so my mother says.
Like I do every time I start to get excited, I shove it away. I like him, I do, but it's never going to be anything serious, so I might as well just enjoy the casual, monogamous thing we have going and move on when it's time.
I shower quickly and run the razor over my legs and underarms as I spread the soap across my skin creating a sudsy lather. I glance down, ensuring my girly parts are still good, and they are. I rinse my body clean and shut off the water, grabbing the clean towel I keep replaced on the towel bar. I wrap the soft, fluffy cotton around my body and step out, walking to the sink.
I tuck my towel to stay on my body hands free, so I can brush my teeth. I look at myself in the mirror as I work the bristles across each tooth. Makeup or no makeup? Would that look like I'm trying too hard? Most likely, since I just showered. I rinse my mouth out and replace my toothbrush into the holder I pulled it from, shutting off the light as I walk into my room.
I pull on a pair of sexy, but comfortable underwear and grab a large, worn, cotton tee shirt with my old university's logo on it and pull it over my head, letting it stop mid-thigh. I love this shirt. I got it when I lived in the dorm freshman year, because I hate sleeping in shorts or pants unless I'm staying somewhere or it's cold. The twisting of cotton as I toss in my sleep gets tangled and makes me feel claustrophobic. Big tee shirts and panties are the best way to go when you're a wild sleeper.
A knock sounds on the apartment door as I turn on my bedside lamp. I walk through my room, turning off my bedroom light before I travel to the door. I have to slow my pace not once but twice along the way. Another knock sounds and my phone starts to ring in my bedroom. I open the door to Haddox standing on the other side with his phone pressed to his ear. His eyes rake down my body very slowly; as if he's savoring the way I look. Damn he makes me feel sexy.
He takes a step forward, and then another, as if he's preying on me. I don't move, only watching as he closes in on me. "You made it."
I can see the smile in his eyes, accompanied by lust. "I did."
"It didn't take you that long."
"I'm fast when I need to be. Judging from the sight of you, it's good that I was. Do you know how fucking sexy you look right now?"
"No."
My breathing starts to falter as he leans in, not touching me anywhere, and I feel like I could explode. His lips stop just in front of mine; so close they feel like they're touching even though they aren't. "Sexy is being modest for the way you look. If I said what was really on my mind I would sound like an animal. The only thing that could top this is if that was my shirt you were wearing."
I start to close my eyes, expecting him to kiss me, but he doesn't. The side of his mouth pulls up slightly into a smirk when I fully open my eyes. He bites my bottom lip and pulls before freeing it. "But right now I just want to sleep."
Say what? Sleep? Since when did he want to just sleep? We've had sex every time we've been together since the night he showed up at the club. He takes my hand and pulls me along behind him toward my bedroom. "What's wrong with you?"
He never turns to look at me as he leads me. "Nothing. I'm just choosing to cut my dick off for a while. I'm going to learn about you, Piper. I can't do that when I want to fuck your brains out every time I look at you." My face probably looks mortified right now. Is that even normal? What kind of guy shuts down his sex drive when he's being offered as much sex as he wants?
He stops as
I get inside my bedroom and shuts the door. He backs me against the wall and laces his fingers in mine. I look him in the eyes as he raises our hands above us, placing them against the wall. I love looking at him. It stirs an unnatural feeling inside of me.
He kisses me, heatedly and passionately, but only for a moment. "The sex is phenomenal, but for once I really think I want to explore more. I want to know you, your likes and dislikes. I want to spend time with you. In order to do that I'm going to have to force that part into a timeout, because I'm starting to crave you."
Is it weird that to me that's more romantic than any love note or confession? This is really happening. He's not just blowing smoke up my ass or trying to bait me for more. He actually wants to know me on a deeper level. That realization is a little scary. I've never been worried that someone wouldn't like me once getting to know me, but with him it's intimidating, because I want him to. More than that, I want to like him too, because turning away now is out of the question unless I'm forced into it.
He releases our hands. My eyes never stray. He steps out of his sneakers and removes his shirt, then his jeans until he's in nothing but briefs. The bulge is drawing my attention. This may be harder for me than him. "What now?"
I glance back at his face as he takes my hand and guides me to the bed. "Now, we cuddle and sleep. I'm tired and I have to work tomorrow night." I'm trying to hide my emotions, but my face is betraying me. They're radiating through the smile now present on my face. It's been a long time since I've heard that word come from a guy, especially without sex involved.
He pulls back the comforter and sheet, allowing me to enter first. "What side do you prefer to sleep on? Does it matter?" We've slept over before, but it hasn't been premeditated really, and usually resulted after a late night call.
"I usually sleep on my stomach, but lately that's uncomfortable and I toss and turn unless I lay on my right side. To hold you I would need to be left side of the bed, but I can be flexible if you prefer that side."
I'm going to try not to read into that statement too much, because if I did I would point out that every time we've slept together he's been turned on his right, sleeping on the left side of the bed. Coincidence? "That's perfect," I say and get into bed. He follows behind and pulls the covers over us after shutting off the bedside light. He drapes his arm over my side and slips his hand under my tee shirt, pressing his hand flat against my stomach. He pulls my backside against his front, leaving no space between us.
It's hard for me to breathe and it isn't because I'm being smothered. I lay here silently, trying to calm my racing heart. "You have the same effect on me, you know."
His warm breath tickles my ear. "What's that?"
"Erratic heart rate, state of confusion, raging hormones, but then it's also the most peaceful state I've been in.... ever." I'm so glad he can't see my face right now. My stomach is doing somersaults and my face is probably that of a love-struck teenager. Some things should remain locked inside: an inner secret.
"At least I'm not the only one..."
"I want you to come to work with me tomorrow night."
"This isn't another lesson so soon is it?"
"That's not my real job, Piper. I only do that on the side because it's something I believe in, something I’m obligated to do. Will you come? I need you to get a glimpse of what I can be before we spend any more time together. I will never be your knight in shining armor or the guy that writes you poems and serenades them outside your window, so I need you to be absolutely certain being around me is what you want."
"Okay." Few words are all that I can manage right now. "Goodnight, Haddox."
I place my hand over his and close my eyes. I didn't even feel tired before, but suddenly I'm relaxed and exhausted. "Goodnight, baby."
My whole body convulses at the sound of him calling me baby. I only recall him doing it one other time and it was sexual. This time it sounds like so much more...
"Sweet dreams," I say as he laces his legs in mine, warming me from the body heat expelled with the friction of our touching bodies. At least my shaking came off as being cold instead of what it really was. My eyes become heavy and start to roll back in my head.
"I can only hope for none. No dreams are better than bad ones," he responds and I drift into another world, a world where I can freely express my emotions aloud and not risk sounding like a crazy person.
I walk in my apartment and throw my bag on the bar. The closer it gets to tonight, the more nervous and wound up I become. When I woke up this morning there was a note on the pillow next to me instead of a warm body. I wonder why I never heard him leave. I pull the folded up piece of paper from my pocket and open it.
Piper,
I have a lot to do to get ready for tonight. You looked like you were sleeping peacefully, so I chose not to wake you. Be ready by five this evening. Alyvia has instructions to make sure you arrive. If you can endure it until I'm off, the night is yours. I have plans for you. That means you have a date.
-Haddox
I have read this stupid note so much today that the paper is becoming soft and worn. I have no idea what he has planned. It scares me and gives me a rush of excitement at the same time. I pace back and forth over the wood as I stare at the note. "What do you have planned, Haddox?" I mumble under my breath as I reread the words over and over again. I should be able to recite the damn thing by now.
"I kind of like this side of you. It's entertaining when you're normally so serious and sure of yourself." I turn toward Alyvia's voice as she walks out of her room.
"Very funny. How did you beat me home?"
"That bad, huh? Now you're dodging conversations with me." She stops in the middle of the room and places her hand on her chin. "He may be more of a womanizer than I thought to get through the concrete walls you have up. I have to give him some credit, even though it's usually a pain in my ass."
"I could blame it on you, you know? If it weren't for you inviting him to the fashion show I would have never met him." Even as the words escape my mouth, a pain shoots through my chest. Nothing big, but present nonetheless.
"I won't lie, at first I wasn't too happy about it, BUT...and I emphasize that word, now that it's done it might be the best damn decision I've ever made. Judging by the hand over your heart I'm assuming that you agree."
I look down and see that she's right. I instantly drop it. I didn't even know that it was there. I look back up to see her gleaming. "Oh shut up," I say with laughter in my tone. I take a deep, peaceful breath. "It's just nice to not feel trapped by my feelings for Cole. You know? They are finally starting to subside. At last…I can finally breathe."
Her demeanor becomes serious as she takes a few steps forward. She pulls me into a sideways hug. "That's a good thing, babe. Just remember this feeling when he comes back, though. Things like that are always easier said than done. There will be a day when he comes back for another dose of you. The question is, will you be able to turn him down? Haddox will probably expose himself to you a little at a time, but remember he's removing his shield as well. One bad thing can be detrimental. Please don't hurt him that way, Piper."
I haven't really thought of it from that aspect before. I've sat here wallowing in this newfound excitement with my feelings climbing each time I'm around him, but I've never considered what will happen next time Cole comes around. Please God keep him away. "I don't plan on it, Alyvia. I really like Haddox. That statement alone speaks volume. I am here for the ride. I just hope Cole makes it easy for me and leaves me alone this time."
My mood is plummeting quickly. I'm ready to talk about something else. Besides, the clock is consistently ticking and I have no idea what I'm going to wear or how I'm going to fix my hair and makeup. "You never told me how you beat me home. We get out of our last class at the same time. Who's the one dodging now?"
She slides her arm across my back and loops her arm around mine. "Being an ass kisser has its perks, you know. Sometimes turning in assignments early
and staying late to help the teacher pays off...like getting out of class early."
I crinkle my nose. “What exactly do you mean by staying late to help the teacher? I didn’t think he swung that way. Isn’t he batting for the other team?”
Her mouth drops and she lightly slaps the back of my head. “Ew, Piper! That’s gross. I would never do that. This is not some dirty romance about the student and the teacher. Cut that shit out.”
She gives me a broad grin as I shake my head in disappointment at her. "You should be ashamed,” I tease. “Read my lips. Never. Going. To. Happen. I have never been and will never be an ass kisser. The thought alone disgusts me."
"Oh my gosh, fine. It's all just a smart mentality to get ahead in an industry you need it in. Not all of us have a famous photographer for an aunt. I'm actually really surprised you aren't walking around with a hot model on your arm or something."
"Correction." I interrupt her. "My aunt is famous not me. I will never use the reputation she's built to get ahead in my career. I either make it on my own or not at all. Period. As far as the models…who wants to compete with that many women constantly trying to fuck them? Not me."
"Oh come on, Piper. No one said you have to call in favors, but recommendations from someone that has a lot of pull never hurt anyone. Lay down your sainthood halo for a little bit and be grateful you have a family advantage."
I roll my eyes. That is a big deal to me. It turns into a heated conversation each time it's brought up. I want to be good enough to get to the top on my own. Anyone can get there by using someone else, but the ones meant to be in this industry do it on their own. It's best to just change the subject, because people that haven't lived under the shadow of someone as successful as my aunt don't understand. I don't want to be classified under her. I want to be set apart from her.
"So...how do I dress for a fight? Jeans and a tee shirt? Do you know where he's taking me for this date?"
Fight for You Page 17