He takes a step forward, making his body flush with mine. He lowers one hand to rest on my bare hip and wraps his other hand around my long hair, encompassing it. He tugs, revealing the length of my neck. I close my eyes as he presses his lips to my collarbone, only droplets of water between us. He skims his lips up my neck, stopping just outside of my ear. The sensation is driving me wild. "My control is slipping. I'm trying to be good for you, Piper. You're making it very hard for me. I want you too much to say no. I've never wanted a woman's body like I want yours."
He growls, turning me on more than before. He lowers his hand from my hip to the back of my thigh, pulling my leg up around his waist. He presses his hardened cock between my legs. I place my hands on his backside, needing him closer to me. This is where I want to be. "I like you the way you are, Haddox. I like your bad side. It works for me. Show me what you went through. Show me how angry you were. You wanted to know me; well, I want to know you, all of you, the good and the bad. Use my body as your canvas."
He pulls harder on my hair, causing me to squeal a little from being caught off guard. "You don't know what you're asking, Piper. I could hurt you."
My heart rate is picking up and I'm trying hard to hide my nerves. From the first moment we were together he's talked about this dark side and certain tastes he has occasionally. I want to see it in action. He's been gentle with me mostly during sex, only getting rough on occasion, but nothing I can't handle, which is actually strange since this was supposed to be casual sex with a twist originally.
I want to see him at his worst. When his emotions are climbing and spinning out of control, I want to know how he deals by experiencing it. If he can't come to me, then he'll go to someone else. "I trust you. Don't hold back, okay? You wanted to try a relationship or sorts, Haddox. That involves building trust and compromise. If you like certain things I need to be open to try them. Alyvia explained to me that you need to expel your adrenaline after a fight. Explain to me what happened last night...and then show me."
At the sound of my voice his dick hardens some more. He looks down at me. "And what if you run?"
"Would you care?"
"Now...yes."
"Then you'll just have to trust me." His chest broadens and presses further into mine. Every muscle feels hard and flexed. He stands here silently, clearly thinking.
Without another word he releases my hair and lays his palms flat against the tile, next to each side of my head. He hangs his head slightly, letting the water roll off of his back and shoulders. I'm starting to think he's not into it when he slaps the wall, causing a loud ruckus. I jump. "Fuck it!"
As if his mood went off like a light, he shuts off the water and replaces a hand on each ass cheek. He looks down into my eyes; that blue hue smoldering as it reflects my brown ones. "I can't hold it back anymore. Promise me you won't run."
"Don't change for me. I'm here."
He picks me up roughly. I automatically wrap my legs around his waist. He fists his hand into the back of my wet hair, pressing my face closer to his. "I'm counting on it."
Four little words and I'm hooked. The beauty of two broken people finding each other: there are no expectations to be anything other than what you are. You should never ask someone to change. If you can't fall for someone in the state they were in when you met them, then it isn't real. Every individual is different, and that's what makes each beautiful.
I will never change for anyone again. I tried to be different, better, for Cole. Instead of making you love yourself more it brings you down, because you're constantly trying to be something you're not. It's exhausting. After we split I promised myself I was going to spread my wings and fly, attempting to please no one but myself. From that point forward I engrained in my mind that someone could love me for who I am or not at all. That was over four years ago. I haven't dated or felt for anyone else since, but with that promise comes the mutual agreement that when you find someone that makes you look twice, someone that makes your heart pound in your chest, and someone that nestles himself in your mind all hours of the day, you also accept all of that person or none at all.
Haddox is that person for me. He's the person that has freed me from Cole. My heart is no longer enslaved to someone that doesn't want it. In this moment I know that for sure. My heart is temporarily a free agent, but that's changing quickly. The man before me is taking ownership of it fast and this time I fucking welcome it. In all of his so-called imperfections he's been the one thing that Cole never was to me: real...and dammit that's worth falling for. Maybe I'm not crazy.
I barely know Haddox, but I feel like I've only been separated from someone that I've known forever, an old friend, and just now reconnecting. I don't have to know every detail of his past life to know that he's special to me. Character radiates off of a person like heat, allowing you to get to know them just by being in the same place at the same time. The soul will always find a way to introduce itself. That I know from myself.
It's only been a small increment of time, but I know that I love him. One day I will tell him everything, but I won't freak him out. There are times to speak and there are times to be silent. I'm going with the flow. I'm going to live on the edge. If I had to guess, my heart just found what it was looking for and the moment it realized it, it started to strengthen and continues to do so.
He pushes the shower door open with his knee as he takes my lips in his, kissing me. There is a need and hunger behind it that is stirring an inner lust I've never before known. Some are scared of change, but this is a change that I'm starving for.
My eyes close. I have no idea where he is going, only that he is moving. We are soaking wet, water dripping off of our bodies. I thread his hair between my fingers, ready for what's next. I start to feel like I'm falling, but his body never parts from mine. The sheets align with my back as he roughly lays me on the bed, him coming down with me. He never stops kissing me as he runs his arm underneath me, gliding me up the mattress, dampening the sheets as we go.
I can hear a drawer open and close before he places something on my wrist: cold metal. I hear the lock click in place and immediately know what it is: handcuffs. My system spikes with adrenaline, but his lips moving against mine keeps my eyes closed. I've never been immobilized before. He lifts my arm above my head and locks the other metal loop to the ironwork in the center of the dark wood headboard. My nerves are raging.
I lock my heels on the back of his wet body, holding him close to me. He runs his fingertips down my hoisted arm, tracing across my armpit and down my side, laying it to rest on the mattress beside my body, altering his weight bearing onto that hand. Another loop wraps around my free wrist and locks into place, repeating the previous act. I no longer have use of my arms.
He releases my lips and my eyes open. "I need you to trust me. Just don't ask me why I have them, okay?"
I nod. The look on his face tells me that it's not for the initial reason I would think or he wouldn’t have brought it up. "I've never brought another woman here." A surge of excitement starts to develop in my core. "I wanted to wait a while before we had sex again, until I knew more about you, because I don't want you to feel like this is all I want from you. Sex is easy to obtain, but a woman that you actually want to be around is harder to come by...and a woman that ignites a fear inside of a man no longer in touch with emotion is even scarcer. I don't know what to do with it, Piper. I have all of this aggression pent up inside and beating his ass to almost a point of no recognition only expelled a small portion of it. That has never happened before. Fighting helps me to channel the things that torment me day in and day out. This time...it didn't do anything for the way I felt seeing you that way. Maybe being inside of you will."
He's telling me he needs me without saying it. I'm not sure I understand, but I'll be whatever he needs me to be. "I want you to, but why do you want me bound?"
He stands on his knees and grabs my thighs in his hands. "Because when I feel this way my nerves are on edge. Everyth
ing becomes based on instinct and what I’ve always known. I become lost in my own head. I need to get all of this out, but you can't touch me when it's being transferred. I have a lot of bad shit in my head, and occasionally one of the memories breaks free. If it does and you touch me, my reflexes take over and you could get hurt. I never want to hurt you."
I grab the short linked chain connecting me to the bed in each fist, preparing myself. "Okay. I'm ready. Tell me what happened last night."
He looks at me and I can tell he's thinking. "Round one was up." He's going into a zone. His eyes are losing focus on me. His grip tightens on my legs and his short nails are digging into my skin. It hurts, but nothing I can't take. "Stokes got his lick to my face, gashed open my brow. One hit to the face and I'm ready to finish it. I was locked in. He was about to go down. One knock out was all I needed. Tapping out is something I rarely encounter with my opponents. I physically need to see them laid out in the ring. It's what drives me."
His entire body tenses. His breathing is changing rhythm. His hands slowly travel closer to my middle. "I never look in the crowd. It fucks with any good fighter’s head. It's not about the audience, it's about the fight... but I did. I liked knowing you were up there, but then you weren't there."
"I tried to shake it off. I told myself you probably just went to the bathroom...but then it came."
His hands clamp down on my hips, picking my bottom off of the mattress. "What came?"
I'm honestly not even sure he can hear me. He's looking at me, but it doesn't seem like he sees me. "The bastard drugged her. As if raping her wasn't enough, he fucking sedated her. I always had to pick up the pieces that he ripped apart, but that's okay because it kept her alive."
He's gripping my skin into his fist. There will most likely be a bruise in its place tomorrow. The name inscribed on his forearm is wavering as his muscles flex. My eyes start to moisten a little; some from the pain and some from the fact that I have no clue the things he's seen in his life and even I know it must be bad. He's clearly in the middle of a memory. "My stomach sank. My gut was wired. I knew something was wrong. I saw both seats vacant. When Alyvia got up to go check on you I was so wound up that I knew I couldn't fight. I didn't have a grasp on my anger, my fear. I need that control. I need it."
He pulls my body closer to his pelvis as he remains still between my legs. The metal digs into my wrists, hurting me. I bite my tongue to keep from crying out. My eyes start to blur. "I forfeited the fight, probably lost my contract, but I didn't give a damn. Something was very wrong. I knew it. I ran, found Alyvia, but not you. I don't know how I picked the right place, but I did. There are fucking bathrooms all over that venue that he could've pulled you in, but I guess the dumbass was stupid enough to take you to the closest one. I almost left when I didn't see you, but then I heard your voice. I recognized it. My blood ran cold when I realized you were out of it and he claimed to be me. I was scared; so fucking scared."
Thank God I was sedated, so I don't have to worry about nightmares. The fact that I was so close to being raped has my own emotions starting to spike. His voice is starting to deepen the further he gets into the story. It's becoming more pained, but I say nothing. He aligns the center of my body with his, ready to enter me, but he doesn't. "He was itching to kill. I never let him out, but your safety took precedent over logical thinking. I had no choice, but to set him free. When I kicked down that door and he had you naked with a condom in his hand all I could see was red. He had my girl...and he was about to steal what was mine. No one steals from me."
He places his thumb directly on my clit and starts to massage. His face starts to become angry. "He touched you here. Fuck, he looked at you naked without asking. He conned you and drugged you. He thought he was entitled to your body because he wanted it. He devalued you because you're a woman. He disrespected me by trying to take someone that is currently taken. I'm supposed to be the only one touching you here. You gave that to me. It was all I could think about... and then everything went black."
A tear falls down my cheek as he rams his cock inside me; so hard my head bumps the headboard. His biceps flex as he pulls my body against his as rough as he can, over and over. I'm not a virgin. I haven't been in years. I've enjoyed casual but safe sex for years now, but this feels like my first time. It hurts. I'm hurting internally because he is, but I'm hurting physically by the pounding of his dick in my pussy. My wrists feel like they're on fire by the metal scraping against my skin. He's no longer here. He's lost in a world of darkness inside his head, fighting for a way out. I will be that way, even if it kills me. "Stop, Haddox, Piper needs you," he whispers.
My heart is aching, my body is hurting, and I'm not turned on because I just had to listen to a storytelling of my almost attempt at being raped, making me feel filthy. It doesn't matter though, because he needs this. I care about him. What makes me want to endure it twenty more times, though, is that he clearly cares about me...even if he can't voice it aloud. This experience was vital to me, because now I have a pertinent piece of information by getting a look inside him, and that will help us.
He pulls out one last time and shoves his cock deep inside me, grinding when it reaches as far as it will go, expelling himself. “I need to be the last person to touch you here. I will be. I always will be.” He's breathing heavily as he lowers his body to mine. "Alyvia stopped me from killing him, because I would have. You've become important to me, Piper, and I will protect those I care about."
More tears stream down my face. His eyes are back. He looks down as he pulls out. "Dammit, you're bleeding a little. I fucking knew better."
He grips his hair in distress and then presses his lips to mine. "I'm sorry, Piper."
"Haddox, it's fine. Will you just free me?"
He reaches into the drawer and pulls out a key, unlocking the handcuffs. I will not make a big deal about this, even though I can tell my skin is chaffed. He sits back on his heels. I stand so that I can go clean myself up. I kiss his lips lightly before I go. "We all have demons, Haddox. I asked you to show me, and for what it's worth, that wasn't as bad as I thought. I'm stronger than I look. I like when you open up to me. I'll be fine."
I walk to the bathroom and get in the shower, turning on the hot water. I want to wash myself clean. I stand under the water, allowing the water to cleanse me. The emotions of what could have happened are starting to sink in. Had he not been there, so many things could've have happened to me. He thinks he doesn't have a heart, but I know that he probably has one bigger than most. It's just currently in a slumber, needing to be awakened by the one it's meant for.
The shower door opens and he steps inside, aligning the front of his body with the back of mine. He wraps his arms around me and places them flat against my stomach as he kisses my neck. "I promise this time we'll only shower, and then we'll go to bed. I like you being here. I kind of like you being a part of things that are special to me."
I nod and close my eyes. He starts to grab something, but instead of looking I lay my head against his chest as he starts to rub a soap filled loofa over my body. "Will you tell me about her?"
"Another time. Right now I want to lay bad things to rest and enjoy your company. I want to have fun with you and learn about you. Okay?"
Without any effort at all he makes my heart constrict. It amazes me that even though I want to know everything about him, I don't have to. Just being in a room and touching him is sufficient enough. That is what makes this amazing. "Okay."
I roll over as my eyes start to open, wrapping my arms around her waist. I am in a better mood than most days, though I'm not real sure why. She snuggles into me, backing her ass into my crotch as my morning wood becomes more pronounced. "If you keep on you're going to get it," I say into her ear.
"Maybe I want it," she retorts in a sleepy voice.
"Too bad. I have things planned, starting with today. I slap her ass cheek, now bare from the movement of her panties toward the center, catching her off guard.
>
"Ouch. That hurt, you ass," she says, but I can hear the laughter in her tone. She turns to face me with a smile visible on her face.
"Good morning."
She covers her mouth with her hand. "Good morning to you too," she mumbles. It makes me smile. "What do you have planned?"
"It's a surprise. Don't ruin it for me. I stayed up half the night plotting."
She narrows her eyes, then throws her leg over my waist and straddles me, removing her hand with the growing distance between her mouth and my nose. I doubt her morning breath is even that bad. I place my hands on her waist, but she takes them in hers and raises them above my head, holding them against the pillow. "What if I don't like surprises?"
"Tough shit. It's my house. That means it's my rules." I start to smirk, but don't let it grow into a full smile. I have a game face like no other.
She starts to grind the middle of her legs against my cock. "I think I could get it out of you." I won't lie. She's fucking sexy in my tee shirt and her panties. I may even like seeing her take control, and that's something I've never said or thought before. I would love to sink myself deep inside her, but my plans have already been ruined once by a prick that should be in jail. It won't happen again. No matter how much I want something, I can always deny myself. I've lived without essentials for much longer before. I can live without wants, no problem, but that doesn't mean I am going to pass up on watching her try.
"You think so?"
"I do."
"Go ahead. Try. You may be beautiful, but I'm an expert at keeping secrets."
She kisses my collarbone and then the center of my chest, inching down as she scatters kisses down my body. She's going for my member. It's a good thing I can turn off my sex drive with the flip of a thought.
Fight for You Page 21