“But, Mademoiselle,” said Abbé Coignard, “I have neither the power nor the inclination to do so.”
“Oh!” resumed Catherine, sliding near to him and looking at him with a great pretence of tenderness, “I shall be very unhappy if I cannot succeed in giving you the inclination. Whilst as to the power, you have it, Monsieur Jérôme; you have it! And nothing would be easier for you than to save the little brother. You have only to give Monsieur La Perruque eight sermons for Lent and four for Advent. You write sermons so well that it must be a real pleasure to you to write them. Compose these twelve sermons, Monsieur Jérôme; compose them at once. I will come and fetch them myself from your stall at the Innocents. Monsieur La Perruque, who thinks a great deal of your worth and your knowledge, reckons that twelve of your sermons are as good as a donkey. As soon as he has the dozen he will withdraw his complaint. He has said so. What are twelve sermons, Monsieur Jérôme? I promise to write Amen at the foot of the last one. I have your promise?” she added, putting her arms round his neck.
“As for that,” Monsieur Coignard said roughly, disengaging the pretty hands clasped on his shoulder, “I refuse flatly. Promises made to pretty girls are but skin deep, and it is no sin to retract them. Don’t count on me, my beauty, to drag your bearded gallant from the hands of the ecclesiastical court!
Should I write a sermon, or two, or twelve, they would be directed against the bad monks who are the shame of the Church, and are as vermin clinging to the robe of St. Peter. This brother Ange is a rascal. He gives good women to touch, as relics, some old mutton or pork bone which he has gnawed himself with disgusting greediness. I wager he bore on Monsieur La Perruque’s donkey a feather of the Angel Gabriel, a ray from the wise men’s star, and in a little phial a trifle of the sound of the bells that rang in the belfry of Solomon’s temple. He is a dunce, he is a liar, and you love him. There are three reasons why I should dislike him. I leave you to judge, Mademoiselle, which of the three is the strongest. Perchance it may well be the least honest; for in truth I was, a moment ago, drawn to you with a violence neither befitting my age nor my condition. But make no mistake; I resent extremely the insults offered by your cowled rascal to the Church of our Saviour Jesus Christ, of which I am a very unworthy member. And this capuchin’s example fills me with such disgust that I am possessed by a sudden longing to meditate on some beautiful passage of St. John Chrysostom, instead of sitting knee to knee with you, Mademoiselle, as I have been doing for the last quarter of an hour. For the desire of the sinner is short-lived and the glory of God is everlasting. I have never held an exaggerated notion of sins of the flesh. I think injustice to me that must be allowed.
“I am not scared like Monsieur Nicodème, for example, at such a little thing as taking one’s pleasure with a pretty girl. But what I cannot endure is the baseness of soul, the hypocrisy, the lies, and the crass ignorance, which make your brother Ange an accomplished monk. From your intercourse with him, Mademoiselle, you get a habit of crapulence which drags you much below your position, which is that of a courtesan. I know the shame and the misery of it; but it is a far superior state to that of a monk. This rascal dishonours you even as he dishonours the gutters of the Rue St. Jacques by dipping his feet into them. Think of all the virtues with which you might adorn yourself, Mademoiselle, in your precarious walk of life, and one alone of which might one day open Paradise to you, if you were not subjugated and enslaved to this unclean beast.
“Even while permitting yourself to pick up here and there what must, after all, be bestowed on you as tokens of gratitude, you, Catherine, could blossom forth in faith, hope, and charity, love the poverty-stricken, and visit the sick. You could be charitable and compassionate; and find pure delight in the sight of the skies, the waters, the woods, and the fields. Of a morning, on opening your window, you could praise God while listening to the song of the birds. On days of pilgrimage you might climb the hill of St. Valérien, and there, beneath the Calvary softly bewail your lost innocence. You could act in such a way that He who, alone reads our hearts would say: ‘Catherine is my creature, and I know her by the glimmerings of a clear light not altogether extinguished in her.’”
Catherine interrupted him:
“But Abbé,” she said drily, “you are spinning me a sermon.”
“Did you not ask me for a dozen?” he replied.
She began to be angry:
“Take care Abbé. It rests with you if we are to be friends or enemies. Will you compose the twelve sermons? Think well before you answer.”
“Mademoiselle,” said Monsieur l’Abbé Coignard, “I have done blameworthy things in my life, but not after reflection.”
“You will not? Quite certain? One — two — You refuse? Abbé, I shall take my revenge.”
For some time she sulked, mute and bad-tempered, on the bench. Then all at once she started crying:
“Have done, Monsieur l’Abbé! Have done! At your age, and a man of your cloth to plague me thus! Fie Monsieur l’Abbé! Fie! How shameful, Monsieur l’Abbé!”
As she was squealing at her shrillest, the Abbé saw Mademoiselle Lecoeur, of the draper’s shop at the sign of the Trois Pucelles, pass through the porch. She was going thus late to confess to the third vicaire of St. Benoît, and turned away her head in sign of her huge disgust.
He owned to himself that Catherine’s revenge was prompt and sure, for Mademoiselle Lecoeur’s sense of virtue, fortified by age, had become so vigorous, that she was down upon every impropriety of the parish, and seven times a day stabbed with the point of her tongue the carnal sinners of the Rue St. Jacques.
But Catherine herself did not know how complete was her revenge. She had seen Mademoiselle Lecoeur come into the market-place, but she had not seen my father who was following closely.
He was coming with me to look for the Abbé in the porch, and take him to the Petit Bacchus. My father had a liking for Catherine. Nothing vexed him more than to see her close beset by gallants. He had no illusions about her conduct. But as he said, knowing and seeing are two different things. Now Catherine’s cries had reached his ears quite clearly, He was hasty and incapable of selfrestraint. I was much afraid that his wrath would burst forth in coarse suggestion or savage threats. I already saw him drawing his larding-pin, which he wore on his apron-string like an honourable weapon, for he gloried in his art and in his spit.
My fears were but half-justified. The occasion surprised him, but not unpleasantly, when Catherine showed virtue, and satisfaction overcame anger in his mind. —
He accosted my good master fairly civilly and said with mock severity:
“Monsieur Coignard, all priests who cultivate the society of courtesans lose thereby their virtue and their good name. And rightly so, even if no pleasure has rewarded their dishonour.”
Catherine left the spot with a fine air of offended modesty, and my excellent master answered my father with a sweet and smiling eloquence:
“That maxim is excellent, Monsieur Léonard; still one should not apply it without discretion, nor stick it on to everything as the lame cutler labels all his knives ‘ sixpence.’ I will not inquire why I merited its application a moment ago. Will it not do if I own that I merited it?
“It is not seemly to talk of oneself and it would be too great a shock to my modesty to be obliged to discourse on what is personal to me. I would rather set up the case of the venerable Robert d’Arbrissel who acquired merit from frequenting courtesans. One might also quote St. Abraham, the anchorite of Syria, who did not fear to enter a house of ill-fame.”
“What St. Abraham was that?” asked my father, whose thoughts were all put to rout.
“Let us sit down outside your door,” said my good master, “bring a jug of wine, and I will tell you the story of this great saint as it was recorded for us by St. Ephraim himself.”
My father made a gesture of ready assent. We all three sat down under the eaves, and my good master spoke as follows:
“St. Abraham, being already
old, lived alone in the desert in a little hut, when his brother died leaving a daughter of great beauty, named Mary. Assured that the life he led would be excellent for his niece, Abraham had built for her a little cell near his own, whence he taught her by means of a small window that he had had pierced.
“He took care that she fasted, watched, and sang psalms. But a monk, whom we may suppose to have been a false monk, drew nigh Mary while the holy man Abraham was meditating on the Scriptures, and led the young girl into sin; who thus said to herself:
“‘It were far better, since I am dead to God, to go into a country where I am known to none.’
“Leaving her cell she betook herself to a neighbouring town called Edessa, where there were delightful gardens and cool fountains; it is still to this day the pleasantest of the towns of Syria. Meanwhile, the holy man Abraham remained plunged in profound meditation. His niece had already been gone some days when, opening her little window, he asked: —
“‘Mary, why do you no longer sing the psalms you sang so well?’ And receiving no reply he suspected the truth and cried: ‘A cruel wolf has carried off my ewe lamb from me!’
“He lived in sorrow for two years, after which he learnt that his niece was leading a bad life. Acting with discretion, he begged one of his friends to go to the town and find out what had become of her. The friend’s report was, that, in very deed, Mary was leading a bad life. At this news the holy man begged his friend to lend him a riding-dress and bring him a horse, and putting on his head a big hat which hid his face, so as not to be recognised, he presented himself at the hostelry where they had told him his niece was lodged. He looked on all sides to see if he could not see her, but, as she did not appear, he said to the innkeeper, feigning to smile:
“‘ Mine host, they tell me you have a pretty girl here. Can I not see her?’
“The innkeeper, an obliging man, had her called and Mary appeared in a costume, which, according to the words of St. Ephraim himself, sufficed to reveal her mode of life. The holy man was pierced with sorrow.
“He affected gaiety nevertheless, and ordered a good meal. Mary was in a sober mood that day. In giving pleasure one does not always taste it, and the sight of this old man whom she did not recognise, for he had not removed his hat, in no way inclined her to joyousness. The innkeeper cried shame upon her for such naughty behaviour so opposed to the duties of her profession, but she said with a sigh: ‘ Would to God that I had died three years ago!’
“The holy man Abraham was careful to adopt the language, as he had taken the coat, of a gallant cavalier:
“‘My child,’ said he, ‘ I have come here not to bewail your sins but to partake of your affection.’
“But when the innkeeper left him alone with Mary he feigned no more, but raising his hat, he said weeping:
“‘Mary, my child, do you not know me? Am I not that Abraham who has been a father to you?’
“He took her by the hand and all the night long he exhorted her to repentance and penance. Above all he was careful not to drive her to despair. He repeated incessantly’ My child, it is only God who is without sin.’
“Mary was naturally a sweet soul. She consented to go back to him. At daybreak they set out. She would have taken her robes and jewels. But the holy man made her understand that it would be more fitting to leave them. He mounted her on his horse and led her back to their cells, where they both took up their past life. Only this time the good man took care that Mary’s room did not communicate with the outside world, and that there was no going out without passing through the room that he himself occupied. By which means and by the grace of God, he kept his ewe lamb. Such is the history of St. Abraham,” said my good master, drinking his cup of wine.
“It is quite beautiful,” said my father, “and the misfortunes of poor Mary have brought tears to my eyes.”
III. MINISTERS OF STATE (concluded)
THAT same day my good master and I were exceedingly surprised to meet at Monsieur Blaizot’s at the sign of the Image de Sainte Catherine, a little thin, yellow man, who was no other than the celebrated pamphleteer, Jean Hibou.... We had every reason to believe that he was in the Bastille, where he usually was. And if we had no hesitation in recognising him it was because his face still showed traces of the darkness and mildew of the dungeon. He was turning over with a trembling hand, under the bookseller’s anxious eye, some political writings newly come from Holland. Abbé Jérôme Coignard doffed his hat with a natural grace which would have been more effective if the hat had not been staved in the night before in a scuffle, that need not concern us, in the arbour at the Petit Bacchus.
Abbé Coignard having shown his pleasure at meeting so able a man again; Monsieur Jean Hibou replied. “It will not be for long. I am leaving this country where I am unable to live. I cannot breathe the corrupted air of this town any longer. In a month’s time I shall be settled in Holland. It is cruel to have to put up with Fleury after Dubois, and I am too virtuous to be a Frenchman. We are governed on bad principles, by fools and rogues. I cannot endure it.”
“Truly,” said my excellent master, “public affairs are badly managed and there are many thieves in office. Power is divided between fools and knaves, and should I ever write on the affairs of the day I should make a small book on the lines of the Apokolokyntosis of Seneca the Philosopher, or of our own Satire Mènippêe, which is fairly pungent. This light and pleasant style suits the subject better than the morose stiltedness of a Tacitus or the patient seriousness of a de Thou. I would make copies of this lampoon which would be passed about under the rose, and it should display a philosophical disdain for mankind. The majority of the people in office would be extremely annoyed, but I think some would taste a secret pleasure in seeing themselves covered with shame. I judge so from what I heard said by a lady of good birth whose acquaintance I made at Séez during the time when I was the Bishop’s librarian. She was growing old, but still thrilled to lascivious memories. For I must tell you that for twenty years she had been the most notorious trollop in Normandy. And when I asked her what had given her the most lively pleasure in life, she answered me: ‘To know myself dishonoured.’
“From this reply I gathered that she had some nicety of feeling. I would give as much credit to certain of our ministers, and if ever I write against them it would be to incite them to hug their infamy and viciousness.
“But why postpone the execution of so fine a project? I will ask Monsieur Blaizot at once for half a dozen sheets of paper and set about writing the first chapter of the new Mênippée.”
He was already reaching out his hand to the astonished Monsieur Blaizot, when Monsieur Jean Hibou stopped him quickly:
“Keep this splendid scheme for Holland, Monsieur l’Abbé,” he said, “and come with me to Amsterdam, where I will provide you with the means of livelihood at some coffee-house or bagnio. There you will be free, and of nights you shall write your Ménippée at one end of the table, whilst I, at the other, am busy with my lampoons. They shall be full charged with virus, and who knows but what we may bring about a change in the affairs of the kingdom? Pamphleteers play more part than is thought in the downfall of empires. They prepare the catastrophe which is consummated by a popular revolt.”
“What a triumph,” he added, in a voice which whistled through his blackened teeth, carious with the bitter humours of his mouth, “what joy if I effected the destruction of one of those ministers, who, like cowards, shut me in the Bastille! Will you not take a share in such good work, Monsieur l’Abbé?”
“By no means,” replied my good master, “I should be very sorry to change anything in the system of the State, and if I thought that my Apokolokyntosis or Ménippee could have such a result, I would never write it.”
“What!” exclaimed the disappointed pamphleteer, “didn’t you tell me but a moment ago, that the present government was wicked?”
“No doubt,” said Monsieur l’Abbé, “but I merely imitate the wisdom of that old crone of Syracuse who
, at the time when Dionysius treated his people most execrably, went to the temple every day to pray to the gods for the life of the tyrant. Told of this singular piety, Dionysius wished to know the reason for it. He sent for the good woman, and questioned her:
“She replied, ‘I am no longer young and have lived under many tyrants, and I have always observed that a bad one was succeeded by a worse. You are the most detestable that I have yet seen. From which I conclude that your successor will be, if possible, more wicked than yourself, and I pray the gods to give him to us as late as may be.’
“That old woman was very sensible, and I think as she did, Monsieur Jean Hibou, that sheep do well to allow themselves to be sheared by their old shepherd, for fear a younger one should come along, who would but shear them closer.”
Monsieur Jean Hibou’s gall, stirred by this discourse, spent itself in bitter words:
“What cowardly talk! What shameful sentiments! Oh! Monsieur l’Abbé, what little love you bear to the public good, and how ill you deserve the oak-leaf crown promised by the poets to civic heroes. You should have been born amongst the Turks, amongst the Tartars, slave to a Genghis Khan or a Bajazet, rather than in Europe where principles of public right are taught, and divine philosophy. What! you endure bad government nor even wish to alter it! Such sentiments would be punished in a republic of my making by exile or banishment at least. Yes, Monsieur l’Abbé, in the constitution that I meditate, which is to be formulated on the maxims of antiquity, I shall add a clause for the punishment of such bad citizens as you, and I shall proclaim penalties against whomsoever can improve his State but does not do so.”
Complete Works of Anatole France Page 79