“Well, I … I came into town to see someone,” Lily stammered.
“I take it, someone other than Roger.”
“Yes.”
“Frankly, I’m not surprised. I’ve watched you, Lily, and if this is supposed to be the happiest time of a girl’s life you certainly haven’t been walking around with stars in your eyes.”
“Is it that obvious?”
“To me it is. And if you looked in a mirror right now you’d see the difference. You’re positively glowing. Who is he? Where did you meet him?”
When Lily told her, Jill gasped. “Harry Kohle? Why, I know him—he’s gorgeous! Are you going to go to bed with him?”
Lily was too shocked to speak. Secretly thinking about it was one thing. Hearing the idea voiced aloud was another.
“Well, I’ve thought about it,” she said finally.
“Come on, Lily! Isn’t that really what you came down for? Do you think you’re going to kiss and say good night? It doesn’t work that way.”
“I suppose not.”
“What’s the matter, an attack of conscience? You’re entitled to a fling or two.”
“It’s not a fling, Jill. I really think I’m in love.”
“Are you going to break your engagement to Roger?”
“No.”
“But if you’re in love with Harry, why marry Roger?”
“Oh, you just don’t understand. I have so many obligations.”
“Lily, don’t let your parents force you into this marriage. I’ve known your father all my life. He isn’t concerned with your happiness—just the merger of two great fortunes.”
“You may be right, but I just can’t fight them. I can’t face the thought of total estrangement…. Besides, Roger is a decent man; he’ll make a good husband. What if I don’t have stars in my eyes—nobody has everything, and I feel that I could be content with him.”
“What about Harry?”
“What about him? He hasn’t mentioned marriage.”
“So this is going to be a fling? Do you think you’re going to be able to walk away from it?”
“I guess I’ll have to.”
“I wonder. Things have a way of becoming complicated when you’re in love. Maybe you should just kiss Harry good night.”
“I want to know what it feels like to be with someone I’m crazy about. Even if it’s just for a night. Does any of that make sense?”
“You bet it does. As far as I’m concerned, it’s essential women in our set have a little romance in our lives. Our marriages can become so limited.”
“So you don’t think I’m dreadful for doing this?”
“You have my blessings, dear.”
“Jill, you’re such a good friend, and I need one so desperately right now. I’ve really needed someone to talk to.”
“I’ll always be here. I promise.”
As they sat across from one another at dinner that night in the dimly lit restaurant, neither Lily nor Harry could believe they were there.
It doesn’t make any difference what happens after this, thought Lily. She was going to hold on to this memory. It would be her most cherished gift. No one in this world had ever been able to make her as happy as Harry had. Whatever the chemistry was between them, she would not try to fathom it. For tonight—if only tonight—she would just enjoy.
Harry felt even more in love with Lily now that she was before him. She was worth giving up any dream for—even one he held as dearly as writing. As Lily was silently vowing to become satisfied with memory, Harry resolved more than ever to make her his.
“What’s your pleasure tonight, sir?” the waiter asked.
“Lily—champagne?” he asked.
Shyly she smiled back at him. “Yes, I’d love some.”
If Lily’s life had depended on it, she could not have recalled afterward what they ate or, in fact, if they had eaten at all. As the champagne flowed and the soft jazz music played in the darkly elegant club, she sat mesmerized by the man across from her.
Harry held her very close while they danced, and at that moment both felt only the magic of one another. When they finally stopped moving to the rhythm they both felt, they realized that it was just the two of them standing in the center of the floor. The musicians were already packing up and the waiters were beginning to turn the chairs upside down.
Harry summoned the waiter and paid the check. Then he helped Lily with her wrap. Without a word between them, Harry took her hand. They stepped out into the cool night and began to walk, though not in any particular direction.
When they came to the East River, they stood and looked out. A thousand lights twinkled in the midnight-blue sky. Turning, Harry put his arms around her and drew her close. “Lily, you’re the loveliest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“Am I?” she murmured softly.
“Oh, yes,” he whispered as his lips covered hers.
They clung to one another hungrily before Lily drew back.
With his arms still around her, Harry said, “Lily, I love you. I’m happier tonight, with you, than I’ve ever been in my life.”
His words were magic to Lily’s ears. It felt so right for her to say, “I love you too,” but she found she could not reply.
Taking her face in his hands, he looked at her searchingly. Slowly he said, “Stay, Lily. Stay with me tonight.”
She could scarcely catch her breath as a sense of inevitability came over her. This had been fated. She knew she was powerless to resist—not that she even wanted to.
“Will you stay?” he whispered again.
“Yes, Harry.”
Silently turning from the river, they walked back the way they had come. Lily could scarcely feel her feet hit the pavement. She felt that high. It was as in a dream: the ride through the cool, misty night, the creak of the old-fashioned elevator, his arm around her, warm and strong, and then, at last, they were alone….
As Harry closed the door behind them, she glanced around without curiosity. It was surely the shabbiest room she had ever been in, and perhaps under different circumstances she might have been taken aback. But at this moment, she was aware of nothing but Harry.
They stood in silence, facing one another. Then, tenderly, Harry drew her into his arms and gazed at her before he lowered his lips gently to touch hers again.
As the kiss deepened, Lily quivered with desire and, sensing her response, he parted her lips with his tongue.
His hands caressed her body until he found the buttons at the back of her dress. He undid them and the gown slid slowly from her shoulders and dropped to the ground. Gently, he released the delicate silk undergarments. Harry stood back to admire her body. Then he cupped her breasts rubbing the nipples and sliding his hands with aching deliberateness over her hips and thighs. If Lily had ever doubted herself capable of love, those doubts were forever erased. And if she had questioned the rightness of her love for Harry, she now knew the answer. When she felt his naked body pressed against hers, she knew the full meaning of love. He lay her gently on the bed, gazing down at her perfection for a long moment before covering her body with his own. Instinctively, she sensed his need and reached down, feeling him grow hard. When he entered her at last, her urgency was as great as his. As he moved slowly to ensure her pleasure, she was overcome with indescribable joy.
Afterward, as they lay in each other’s arms, he said, “You know what tonight means, don’t you, Lily? I can’t give you up—not for anyone or anything. I want to marry you.”
A wave of joy swept over her, but it was quickly replaced by despair. “Harry, I’d love to marry you—but I can’t.”
“We’ve been through this, Lily. I know all your arguments and they don’t amount to a damned thing. You’re not going to sacrifice yourself to please your family. I won’t let you.”
“It’s not just my family—there’s Roger, too.”
“You don’t owe anyone your life, Lily. In any case, would you be doing him a favor by marrying him w
hen you love me?”
“But I feel so guilty….”
“It’s your parents who should feel guilty, forcing you into a marriage to satisfy their own wishes. Besides, what are they going to do to you if you defy them? Beat you? This isn’t the Victorian age.”
Lily found it too painful to explain the relationship between herself and her parents. Instead she said, “I’m an only child. They’re very protective of me.”
“I’m not exactly penniless, Lily. My family owns the Kohle Mercantile Bank, and they will be happy to give me a well-paying job. Won’t your father accept that? Why does it have to be Roger Humphreys?”
Lily felt a sudden hope. If it was a good match her father was after, wouldn’t the Kohles’ wealth and prominence satisfy him as much as Roger’s family’s? And wouldn’t her love for Harry, her passion for him, soften her father’s judgment? Lily sighed. “Oh Harry, do you really think so?”
“Of course!”
“But what about Roger?”
“Is he really going to be heartbroken? Or is it just possible that he has been pushed into this engagement as much as you have? I’ll tell you something, if I were in love with a woman like you, I’d never leave you alone the way Roger has. Good God, he’s off in Hyannis Port every weekend.”
“Oh Harry, you make it sound so simple.”
“It is, Lily—if you have the courage.”
She was silent for a long moment. “Do you really think it could work?”
“I know it can,” he said. Taking her into his arms again, he made her believe that it could, and also made her stop thinking about the ordeal that lay ahead. Soon she had no thought for anything but the unbelievable joy she felt.
The next morning Harry begged to go with her to face her parents, but she refused, terrified to let him witness the scene she expected.
Lily had had a sample of her father’s cruelty the morning she told them of Roger’s offer of marriage. She had been as frightened of him then as she had been as a child. The thought of Harry seeing how little her parents loved her was too humiliating to bear. Remembering the terrible stigma of being unwanted, she could never reveal the dreadful events of her childhood, even to Harry.
“Please let me go alone,” she said.
“All right. But if you need me, I’ll come immediately.”
Chapter 10
IT WAS EARLY EVENING when Lily arrived home, grateful that her parents would not return until the next day. She would at least be alone with Roger when she told him. She picked up the phone, half terrified and half relieved when he answered.
“Roger, I’m so glad you’re back. Do you think you could come over for tonight? I know it’s last minute, but …” Her voice trailed off.
It was odd to be wondering if her fiancé wanted to see her, but from the beginning their courtship had been odd….
“I’d like that, Lily, I really would. In fact, I’ve got to say that I’ve missed you a whole lot. I want to tell you about the race.”
“At seven, then.”
Looking at herself in the mirror, Lily was shocked at her pallor. Even the extra rouge didn’t help. Her face was paler still when Roger took her father’s place in the dining room an hour later, and she hardly understood a word he was saying as he rambled on about reefing and heeling and jibbing. All she heard was the echo of Harry’s voice saying, “I love you, darling, more than words can say.”
Suddenly Roger touched her arm and asked, “How do you feel about that?”
“Pardon me?” she mumbled. “I’m sorry, I—”
“I know you’re not keen on boating, but Sunday is the last day of the season. I haven’t pressed you before, but you ought to give it a chance. Married to me, you’re going to have to learn to crew.”
Lily’s courage almost faltered. How could she do this? Roger really sounded as though he’d missed her. Fidelity, honor, loyalty, those words were difficult to ignore. For the first time in forty-eight hours, she was ashamed of what she was about to do.
“How about it, Lily?” Roger was saying. “Are you going to be my skipper?”
Toying with the small spoon, she said gently, “I don’t think I can.”
“You mean you don’t want to?”
“No, Roger. I mean, I really cannot.”
Something in her tone startled him. “I don’t quite understand.”
Lily took a deep breath. “I don’t know how to tell you this, Roger, but the truth is that I have fallen deeply in love with someone else.”
Without a word, he got up and walked to the French doors.
Lily sat devastated. Nothing could have been worse than his silence. It would have been easier if he had screamed at her. What he was feeling she could only guess, but he must have cared more than she had realized.
The truth, if Lily had known it, was very different. The only emotion Roger experienced was relief. He had never loved Lily more than the moment she gave him back his freedom.
The past five years had been sheer torment, having to keep his love affair with Christopher closeted. The only thing that had brought him to resign himself to the marriage was that Lily would have provided a cover. It would have been in no way remarkable for Chris to have visited as a houseguest or even to become a member of their household.
And he liked Lily very much as a person. If he had to marry, he was happy that it was she.
But now that she had released him, he knew he was going to stop living the lie. He would take Chris to Paris, where such liaisons were accepted. He had tried one last time to please his parents. He would not consider marriage again.
Lily sat trembling, waiting for him to say something—but when he finally turned back to her, the look on his face was one of infinite kindness.
Taking her hand, he said, “You are the finest woman I have ever known, Lily. I’m not going to stand in your way. I only hope this other man deserves you.”
When the tears subsided, she said, “I can’t thank you enough for your understanding. I hope that you will meet someone you’ll really be happy with.”
Smiling, he said, “I hope so too.”
That night Lily slept peacefully, but she knew that her ordeal was only beginning.
The next day she looked out of her window and watched her parents’ trunks being brought into the house. Roger had been so reasonable, she hoped her father might be the same. She decided to wait until after lunch to confront him.
It was almost three o’clock when she knocked on his door. Praying her courage wouldn’t fail her, she said, “Welcome back, Father.”
“Thank you. How have you been?”
“Fine. We’ve had lovely weather the past few weeks.” She hesitated. “Father, I have something very important to talk to you about.”
He recognized the apprehensive expression on Lily’s face. She’d had that look ever since babyhood. He despised people who always knuckled under to him and now he said coldly, “What is it, Lily?”
“I … wonder if I might have a brandy, Father.”
“Help yourself, Lily. This is your home.”
After she had taken a sip, she felt slightly better.
She said haltingly, “Father, I … don’t quite know how to begin.”
Impatiently he said, “Lily, I’ve just gotten back from a long trip, and I’m tired. Please just say what you have to say.”
She swallowed the rest of the brandy, took a deep breath, and blurted, “I don’t want to marry Roger.”
“Really? When did you come to that conclusion?”
“The truth is, Father, I didn’t from the beginning.”
He bent over Lily menacingly and said, “You’ve made a commitment, young lady, and by God, you’re going to stick to it.”
“But I didn’t make the commitment, Father! You and Mother put a great deal of pressure on me to accept him.”
“In any event, you’re going to marry Roger.”
“No! I’m not in love with him, and he’s not in love with me. He never w
as.”
“Love? I suggest, Lily, that you forget all about this foolishness. I don’t want you upsetting your mother. I wouldn’t worry so much about being in love with Roger, as about making him a suitable wife.”
“I’ve already told Roger, Father, and he’s accepted it.”
“You’ve what?” Charles Goodhue stared incredulously at his daughter. “What’s brought this on? There’s another man involved, isn’t there?”
“You’re right, Father,” Lily said, trembling. “I’m in love with someone else. Is that a sin?”
He had known there was another man involved, otherwise she never would have found the courage to defy him.
“How did you meet him? What’s his name?” he barked angrily.
“He is a friend of Randolph’s; his name is Harry Kohle.”
Charles Goodhue was, for once in his life, speechless. His face reddened and the cords in his neck stood out like twisted ropes.
“I will see you dead, Lily, before I will allow you to marry a Jew.”
Lily was terrified. With all his faults she had never realized her father was anti-Semitic.
With blind rage, Charles shouted, “Do you realize your children will never be accepted?”
“By whom?”
“By society. By me! Your sons were supposed to carry on the Goodhue banner, but I will never allow one of them behind my desk. Do I make myself clear?”
“Yes. That’s why you wanted me home, isn’t it? To make sure you had the proper grandson to carry on your name. You picked Roger to merge the two fortunes. You weren’t thinking about me—just money.”
“Why do you think Harry Kohle wants to marry you?” he spat.
“Because he loves me—he doesn’t need my money!”
Contemptuously he said, “You’re a fool. He wants you for two reasons only: your inheritance and your social standing. But let me tell you, if you marry this Jew, you are no longer my daughter and you’ll never have a penny of my money!”
Perhaps it was the thought of Harry’s love, or maybe it was her father’s blunt avowal he didn’t love her, but Lily no longer felt afraid. She understood that Charles’s threat was real; but what difference would it make? She had never been his daughter in the real sense of the word. And before leaving his house for the last time she wanted him to know how terribly he had abused her.
The Last Princess Page 6