by Tinnean
Will pushed into me with teasing indulgence, slower than I needed, more intense than I wanted—he was trying to make me come. I reached up and pulled his head down to mine for wet, sloppy kisses that teased us both and made him make noises like the boy in the film. I clenched around him, determined to make him lose control.
We were both laughing breathlessly, stealing glances at the TV as his cock rocked inside me at a powerful pace, driving me to make noises that only blended with those of the beautiful sub on the screen.
I loved that we could be fun and silly with each other, messy and noisy and watching BSDM-flavored porn while we made love. From experience, I knew that this kind of connection was rare, and special, and I cherished it even as I selfishly chased my own orgasm.
Will bent my body in half as he leaned forward on his arms and drove me harder, faster; our thighs slapping together as his cock pounded into my ass, stretching and filling me over and over until I bowed back, arching underneath him and coming so hard I swear I felt my come hit my chin. I wasn’t paying close enough attention to know exactly when Will started to come, too, but he made enough fucking noise to draw attention to the fact soon enough.
He collapsed onto my chest, forcing the air out of me with a loud grunt, and I punched him in the shoulder for his efforts, and then kissed his cheek. He wriggled his softening cock out of me, and I held on to him as he pulled the condom off and flung it on the floor. I smacked him for that too.
IT WAS early evening by the time we left the protective sanctuary of each other’s arms, and then our only reasoning for it was because we were hungry. I didn’t want to wait for take-out to be delivered when we had plenty of food in the house, so I pulled some stuff out of the fridge and set to work. Will started frying the chicken, and I started chopping vegetables. He was shaking his ass in time to the music, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
My phone rang and Will turned the music down so I could answer it.
“Hello?” I sang.
“Jesse Nathanial Ross, just when did you plan on telling me?”
“Hello, Mother,” I said, although my voice had developed a distinct tone of depression. Will snorted with laughter. I leaned back against the counter and kicked one leg over the other. This could be a long conversation.
“Don’t you use that voice with me. I’ve just this minute gotten off the phone with your sister. She’s been speaking to Lila Pierce who told Jennifer that Adele has moved out of your apartment and in with some chef, and that you’re living with a man who’s a known homosexual.”
“Don’t be bigoted, Mama.”
“Bigotry has nothing to do with it. A chef! I’ve never heard of such a thing.”
“It’s someone who cooks your food when you go to a restaurant.”
“I don’t know why you do this to me. You know I have a nervous disposition. Letting me find out all of the details through that awful Pierce girl.”
Will had turned off the burner on the stove and came over to where I’d taken to pacing the kitchen. He grabbed me around the waist and pushed his hands up under my T-shirt so they rested on my bare stomach, and put his head down on my shoulder.
“I don’t know what to say, Mama. You’re as healthy as an ox, and every doctor you see tells you the same thing. Are you more concerned about Adele and I breaking up, Adele living with a chef, me living with a homosexual, or the fact that you found out from Lila Pierce? What’s wrong with Lila, anyway?”
“Horrible common girl,” she sniffed. Will hid his face in my neck, and I could tell that he could hear her, and that he was smiling.
“I’m sorry,” I said in my most apologetic voice. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you myself. It’s been a difficult few months for me.”
“Months?” she shrieked. “This has been going on for months?”
I winced. “Yes.”
“Are you in trouble, Jesse? You know you can come home whenever you want.”
“I don’t need to come home, Mama. I have a home.”
“This is a permanent arrangement then? You living with this, this man?”
“Yes, Mama,” I said carefully. “His name is Will.”
“Jesse, are you gay?”
I stiffened under his touch. “I was with Adele for over five years.”
“Then why did you break up? And that wasn’t an answer to my question.”
“Adele and I just grew apart. It just didn’t work between us. There wasn’t anything sordid about it.”
“Come home, Jesse,” my mother demanded.
“I am home,” I insisted. “I’m a twenty-four-year-old man and I can make these sorts of decisions for myself.”
“First, carrying on with a married woman, then this,” she huffed. “I don’t know what I did wrong when I was raising you.”
“I’m not having this conversation with you again, Mama,” I said sharply. “I’ve told you before that I was not ‘carrying on’ with Laura. She’s a good friend to me. She took care of me when I was left here alone.”
It was a dig, one that we both recognized, that my family had moved back down South and left me in Seattle on my own.
“Took advantage of you is more like it,” she said.
I took a deep breath. Yelling at my mother would only make more problems for me in the long run.
“I don’t know what more I can do other than apologize. I’m happy, Mama. Things are finally working out for me. I’m going back to college, you know, I’m going to make something of myself.”
“Oh, Jesse,” she sighed.
“I’ll be back for Thanksgiving.”
“Bring this man back with you, you hear me?”
“He’ll come if he can,” I promised. Will kissed my shoulder and nodded.
“Call me soon,” Mother threatened.
“I will,” I said solemnly. “Bye, Mama.”
She hung up before I could say anything else. I dumped the phone on the counter and turned in Will’s arms, burying my head in his shoulder.
“Oh, baby,” he said, kissing my hair.
“So, yeah, that’s my mom,” I muttered.
Will tilted my chin up and laid his lips on mine in the sweetest, most beautiful kiss. I sank into his arms and let him hold me close and, yes, love me.
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Will said quietly.
“What do you mean?”
“People aren’t the most welcoming when they find out you’re living with me.”
“I can handle it. You probably need to know now though—I’ll never be able to come out to my parents.”
“Really?” he asked, rubbing my sides gently.
“Yeah.” I sighed heavily. “Oh, shit, it’s complicated. They would never, ever accept that you’re my boyfriend or partner or whatever. I’d be disowned.”
“But your mother just invited me to Thanksgiving.”
“Yeah, I know. That’s just the way she is. I’m already the black sheep of the family because I still live here. Now, I’ll just be the black sheep who lives with a man.”
“Doesn’t that bother you?”
“No, not really,” I admitted. “I’ve thought about it, and I think I’ll probably just become that taboo subject that no one likes to talk about. Like my sister’s abortion when she was fifteen, and my uncle’s Thai bride, and the fact that my dad is my mama’s second husband.”
“Your family is crazy.” Will laughed and kissed my head.
“I know. I’m sorry. I should have mentioned it before.”
“My parents… well, I think they’ll be okay when I tell them I’m with you. They’ve probably figured it out already, but they’re the sort of people who would let me come out in my own time.”
“You’ll tell them about me, then?”
“Yeah, I will,” he said seriously. “I would like for you to meet them, when you’re ready, of course.”
“No homophobic assholes in your family telling you you’re an abomination of nature?” I teased.
&
nbsp; “No, not that I know of. And, well, homosexuality in the animal kingdom is still being investigated,” Will said. “But there’s research to suggest that it happens across many species of mammals and birds.”
“Really?”
“Yes. And the best reason that behaviorologists have come up with is population density. In areas where there is too many of a particular species in a small space of land, the likelihood of homosexuality increases. So, in humans, well you know how many people there are on the planet. It’s increased by about a third in the past hundred years alone. In terms of evolution, gay animals can’t breed. So when there’s a stretch on food and resources, an animal which can’t breed is beneficial to the group.”
“So we’re… what? A product of too many people on the planet?”
“Some people have suggested that we’re of a higher evolutionary development than straight people,” he laughed, nipping at my jaw.
“I don’t know if I want to be a part of some kind of evolutionary experiment,” I mumbled.
“You’re not getting it,” Will said, pulling me so we were facing each other. “All of the people saying that what we are is unnatural—they’re wrong. Fate or God or science made us this way for a reason. We’re as natural as carrots growing in the dirt. We were meant to be.”
I laughed at his analogy and shifted our positions so I was the one holding him. “Carrots, huh?”
“If you like. You can be a cabbage, if you prefer?”
“Carrots are good.”
“Yeah, they are.”
“Check the fridge. They go great in my stir-fry too.”
AS THE front door slammed closed behind me, I sighed in deep contentment. I’d had one of those insane days at work where everyone had a problem and they all seemed to think that they needed me to resolve it for them. I didn’t mind helping my colleagues, the opposite in fact, but I felt like I was managing a group of kindergarteners rather than grown men and women. I was still in a light mood when I got home though. I had plans to drive down to my favorite Chinese take-out place for dinner, and the thought of good barbeque pork was keeping me happy.
I collected the mail from the table in the hallway and flipped absently through it, whistling under my breath as I walked back to the kitchen. Then I spotted something out of the corner of my eye. Something that shouldn’t have been in my living room.
Walking back a few paces, I stopped whistling and tried to ignore the sickness in my belly.
Yup.
Kneeling, submissive, and naked in the corner of the room, was a very pale girl with curly blonde hair piled up on the top of her head. She didn’t look up at me; her eyes were lowered and her hands were held behind her neck with her elbows pointing out. Tellingly, she had a leather collar around her neck.
I was confused. And annoyed. And hurt, and scared, but mostly confused.
Leaving the girl where she was, I walked through to the kitchen.
“Will?”
“In here,” he called.
He was sitting at the counter scribbling something on a yellow legal pad. He was wearing his glasses and looked yummy. I went over and leaned in for a kiss.
“Will.”
“Hmm?” He looked up at me.
“There’s a naked girl in our living room.”
“I know.” He sounded amused. “I put her there.”
I let the cupboards bang as I grabbed a mug and set the kettle on to boil for coffee. I held my mug up in question, and he shook his head. Once I had coffee and a cookie, I sat down opposite him.
“Will, why is there a naked girl in our living room?”
“Her name is Maddie.”
“Lovely. Why?”
“Well, Laura wants a sub again.”
“Right. I still don’t understand.” I took a sip of my coffee and tried to be calm.
“I said I’d evaluate her,” he said, gesturing to his notepad. “Put her through her paces, you know, see how well she does with the basics. Laura and I work pretty similarly. If Maddie works out well for me, then chances are she’ll work well with Laura too.”
I nodded and ate my cookie and tried to be calm and rational. “What did you do so far?”
Will was writing again in his elegant scrawl, making notes, I guessed, from whatever session they’d just been through.
“Oh, basic obedience. Pain thresholds, positioning, that sort of thing.”
“Did you take her up to the playroom?”
“Yeah. Is there a problem, Jesse?” He asked nicely, but my heart was thumping harder than normal, pushing the hurt and anger around my body.
“Apparently not. I’ll be in my room.”
He grabbed my wrist and looked pissed off as I stood, cradling my mug to my chest.
“If you have something to say, then say it.”
“That’s just the thing, Will. I’ve got nothing to say at all. You need to deal with your submissive right now. She looked like she was in pretty deep.”
I turned and left.
I didn’t want to go to our bedroom, where the sheets would smell of him and his shit would be all over the place. My room was mine.
There was no way Will would leave the girl to chase after me, he had too much respect for the power that he held, and for her for letting him take that position of power over her. He couldn’t leave her now; even I could see from a few moments of watching her that she was deep into her subspace. Neither Will nor I had the right to jerk her out of that because of some confusion or misunderstanding.
I hoped that I was misunderstanding something, but pacing in my room, I couldn’t see how or where. He’d brought someone else into our house—my home, for fuck’s sake—and even if she wasn’t his collared sub like I was, she was wearing a fucking collar and not wearing any fucking clothes.
Didn’t our relationship mean more to him than that?
It was nearly an hour before there was a light knock on my door. I was really fucking hungry, but I hadn’t wanted to walk back through the house and possibly see my Master in session with someone else. With a fucking girl.
“Come in,” I said, forcing my voice to be calm.
He kept his head down as he came in and shut the door behind him, then he leaned back against it with his hands pressed firmly against the wood.
“I’m sorry,” he said immediately.
“Do you know what for?” I demanded.
Will sighed. “No, not really.”
“Then what’s the fucking point in apologizing?” I snapped.
“Because I hate this,” he snapped back. “I hate not understanding, and I hate it when you’re mad at me.”
“Can you really not see this from my point of view?” I asked him. “You brought someone else into our home, Will. A woman, as well. I’m having enough trouble dealing with the fact that I’m in a gay relationship, and then you throw a woman into the mix.”
“It’s not a sexual thing, it’s a submission thing. I thought you, of all people, would understand that.”
“Is this because I fucked up as your sub? By falling for you? Are you punishing me?”
“No!” he exclaimed. “Not at all.”
“Did you fuck her?”
“No.”
“Did you make her suck your cock?”
“No.”
“You’re fucking lying to me,” I spat, turning away from him.
“I’m not lying to you,” he insisted, surging forward and pulling on my shoulder to make me face him again. “I have no intentions of being sexually involved with anyone else at all.”
“Why don’t I believe you?”
“I don’t know. Those are your issues, and I’m happy to discuss them with you, but please don’t try and make me out to be some kind of monster when I’m not.”
“I don’t know how you can’t see where you’re wrong!” I yelled.
“I’ve always done this!” he yelled back. “This is part of who I am. It’s what I do, what I’ve always done in this community! People tru
st me to take care of new subs.”
“But you’re with me now.”
“I am. And nothing, especially not a new sub, is going to come between us. But, Jesse, I’m not going to let you manipulate my—the way I feel about you so that I only do things that you want me to do.”
I wanted to know what he stopped himself from saying. But I didn’t ask.
“This isn’t about me trying to stop you from doing something,” I started, but he interrupted me.
“Oh, yes it is.”
“I don’t want my fucking boyfriend touching naked women, okay?”
“I’m gay!” he yelled. “I couldn’t fuck her if I wanted to! My dick doesn’t work that way!”
I groaned and flopped back onto the couch, covering my face with my hands.
“I want to understand. I just don’t. I’m sorry, but I don’t.”
Will slid down the wall and sat on the floor opposite me, wrapping his arms around his knees. His eyes fixed on mine in a steady gaze, but he didn’t offer any further explanations.
Eventually, I spoke, just to break the tension. “I can’t help being jealous, Will.”
“Why couldn’t you have said that in the first place?” he groaned.
“What? That I was jealous? I thought that was fucking obvious.”
“What do you have to be jealous of? Maddie is a woman, Jesse! I don’t know how many times I need to keep saying that.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” I said sarcastically. “Maybe it’s because I’m your sub? That we’ve been together for over a year and a half? And I’m your boyfriend. We go to bed together every night, I sleep in your arms, you make love to me. I don’t want to think about you spanking someone else, turning them on like that. You say sex and submission are different things, and they are, but not for everyone.”
“They’re different things for you, clearly.”
“I don’t know how to even start to fix this,” I said with a long sigh.
“For the first time, neither do I.”
I LEANED back again and my stomach rumbled, reminding me of how hungry I was. After a quick pat I determined my wallet was still in my pocket, and leaned down to grab my shoes and pull them on. I hadn’t changed out of my work clothes, and I couldn’t be bothered to take the time to do it now. Plus, I knew from experience there was a certain something about a half dressed, disheveled man in a suit.