“It was simpler, less fuss. Straightening it every day was such a hassle and I had more important things to worry about.” She played with the hair at her temples. “Robert didn’t like it, either, but it had to be done. Believe me, deciding to cut my hair wasn’t the hardest thing I did, but it sure wasn’t easy. Losing that ponytail was like...”
Sam waited for her to finish the sentence but she shook her head. Even if he’d managed to punch through the sadness that made her seem so fragile when he’d met her on the trail, some of it hovered around her now. He wanted to chase it away again, but not by his usual means.
He studied her out of the corner of his eye. She seemed so vulnerable, but every conversation was revealing enough of her grit to reassure him AA was still in there.
“It was like saying goodbye to myself, the person I knew I was,” Avery said softly.
If he reached over to give her an encouraging hug, she’d make him regret it.
The urge to do it anyway was something he had to get under control.
“If we’re going to the library and the pie shop, you’re going to have to drive faster. The library closes at five.” Avery tapped the digital display on the dashboard. “And since I’m out of the house like a perfectly normal human being who has no worrying grief or latent suicidal tendencies, I want my prizes.”
That was what he wanted to talk to her about, whatever it was that had her mother so worried, but she met his stare. “I’m fine, Sam. My mother will make sure of it.”
Here, in the sunshiny afternoon, it was easy to agree. Sam grunted. “Someday, I’m going to spend time analyzing how my stop for more leftovers took such a wrong turn.”
“When you head to this new job,” Avery said with a wave of her hand, “you’ll have time and distance. That makes it so much easier to see through my mother’s expert finagling.”
Sam shot her a quick look and then hung an arm out the window. “Yeah, and what brings you home, then? Time and distance sound good to me.”
“Sometimes you miss that finagling,” Avery said as she fussed with those windblown curls. “Sometimes you need it, Sam.”
The quick trip through Sweetwater was silent as he thought about her words. As he parked in a spot in the center of town, perfectly situated for both the library and the pie shop, Sam wondered if she was warning him. He’d never been away from home. What if he was as restless and dissatisfied in Colorado as he was here? There weren’t any bigger mountains for him to climb.
Avery opened the door and then paused. “I don’t know what my mother told you...about last night, but I wasn’t even thinking of how I might possibly someday want to kill myself.” Her cheeks were pink as she met his stare. “You know me, Sam. That’s not me.”
She wanted him to agree, so he did. “Of course it’s not you. That was part of the finagling, I bet, a way to get me to leave my nice, cushy vehicle and head out onto the dark, cold trail.” He stretched in the seat. “They were already matchmaking. No way did I ever believe it, AA.”
Her eyes narrowed as she studied his face, like she wanted to trust him but wasn’t sure she could. Then she tipped her chin up. “You coming in?”
“To the library?” Sam asked in his best “you’ve got to be joking” voice. “I’m headed for pie and right now.”
She shut the door. “Meet you there in five.” Then she was trotting slowly across the small lawn in front of the library. In the old days, she might have thrown a cartwheel in for punctuation. As it was, he was glad she made it to the door without stopping. In the light of day, he could see the same fatigue in her face, but something had changed in her eyes.
And that was the thinking of a man who was spending too much time considering a woman who would never be his type. Ever. They made better competitors than friends, but he was glad she’d pushed him as hard as she had. Right now, she needed some pushing. He could do that.
First, he was going to get two fried pies, and if she took longer than fifteen minutes, he was going to eat them both.
CHAPTER SIX
WALKING BACK INTO the library where she’d spent so many happy afternoons after school was like taking a deep breath above the surface after touching the bottom of the pool. Everything was familiar and yet new. Even the librarian had changed.
“I’d like to apply for a library card,” Avery said as she turned in a slow circle, taking in the new paint color, the new carpet and the same familiar smell of old books.
“Sure thing, hon,” said a perky twentysomething who hadn’t existed or not by much the last time Avery had returned her books to this polished oak desk. “Fill in your address.”
Avery quickly jotted down all the details, her mother’s address as familiar to her as her own face. The librarian squinted as she studied Avery’s handwriting. “Oh, you must be Miss Janet’s daughter. She talks about you all the time. When she was helping with the library’s makeover, I heard all about you and your law school. I sure am sorry about your husband, but I am happy to have the chance to get to know you better.”
“Uh, thank you.” Avery immediately had so many questions. Her mother had helped with the library’s makeover? Avery studied the walls and contemporary art. Did she mean painting the walls? Her mother loved paint.
And did everyone in Sweetwater know about her tragedy? Had her mother spread the news of Robert’s death through town? Why? Who would remember her well enough to care?
The perky blonde patted Avery’s hand before she placed a plastic card on the desk with a flourish. “You put your ol’ John Hancock down here and you will be the proud owner of a new library card. Though I expect it cain’t compare to the libraries in Chicago.” The familiar sound of her mother’s cain’t was less bothersome when it rolled off this girl’s tongue. That sound made it clear she was a local through and through.
“In some ways, but you don’t ever forget your first library.” Avery slid the permanent marker back across the desk.
“Well, now, I guess that’s the truth right there.” When she smiled, a dimple actually flashed in her cheek and Avery felt like she’d immediately aged ten years. “You are welcome to pick up some books today if you like, but limit them to two. Then, after you return those, you can stack up those books to your heart’s content.”
Proud of herself, the blonde crossed both arms over her chest. The slight rush of air ruffled the edges of a yellow sheet of paper that floated to the floor. As Avery read the ad for a part-time children’s librarian assistant, she felt the whisper of something across her neck, the stirring of something. Anxious to wave off the feeling, she turned to see Sam standing in the window, a white paper bag clutched in each hand.
“Well, now, if I had a man like that waving one of Miss Rachel’s fried pies,” the librarian drawled, “I might decide to come back for my books later. And I love a good book.” She fluttered her eyelashes. “You and Sam...” She didn’t complete the question, just raised both eyebrows.
Avery frowned as she turned back to the librarian. She dropped the piece of paper back on the spotless desk and read the previously hidden nameplate. “Astrid. That’s not a name you hear too much in east Tennessee. It’s nice to meet you.”
Astrid shrugged a shoulder. “A little old-fashioned name, I guess. I’m a book nerd from way back, runs in the blood. My mama always wanted to name me after her favorite character in a book.” She rolled her eyes like it was ridiculous while Avery tried to remember a famous literary Astrid. The librarian must have been used to that. “Pippi Longstocking. Thank the man in the moon my mama went for the author’s name instead of the character. Can you imagine being named Pippi?”
Avery didn’t find herself speechless often, but she couldn’t come up with a thing to say to that. As she opened her mouth to say goodbye, a fat orange cat jumped up on the desk and brushed against Astrid. “A library cat? That’s awesome
.”
“You gotta know how to frame your argument. Spot a few dozen studies showing how caring for animals, reading to animals, increases a child’s confidence and sense of well-being and voilà...you get yourself a library cat.” Astrid bent closer to whisper conspiratorially. “I’m gonna get me a dog next. You wait and see.”
Charmed by Astrid’s open personality and attitude, Avery offered her a hand to shake. “I’d like to help you with that, Astrid. Could I put in an application for this part-time position?”
Astrid frowned. “It’s not many hours and those hours don’t pay much.” She pursed her lips. “Aren’t you a big-city lawyer? I recall Miss Janet telling me that. Of course, the paint fumes might have been clouding my brain at that point.”
“I never finished, but I have a degree in English,” Avery said and wished she had more to recommend herself. And that was just plain dumb. She could tell stories to kids. An English major should be uniquely qualified to do so.
Astrid rocked back on her heels as she studied Avery. “Good enough for me. It’s pretty much a temporary spot, so if it doesn’t work out, no harm. I know your mama, so I have a good handle on your character. And Sam? I trust your taste in men.” Astrid ripped up the paper. “Can you start Monday, about two? Once school lets out, it’s all hands on deck around here. We close at five, so...” Astrid seemed to be trying to apologize for the short hours, but it was the perfect start. Avery wasn’t sure her stamina was up to a full Saturday of energetic kids, not yet.
But she would be up to the challenge again. With every step she took, the next step got easier. The revelation she’d been waiting for at the top of the falls was coming to her in bits and pieces, but Avery was glad to be getting it. She had a job. That would make the big step of figuring out what to do with her life simpler. Each step would get easier because she’d already done the hardest part.
They shook hands again, but before Avery left, she had to ask the question. “Sam and I are old friends. How do you know him?”
That didn’t sound like a jealous girlfriend kind of question, did it? Avery smiled in her best friendly manner.
Astrid pursed her lips. “Well, he is quite a catch here in Sweetwater, but I know him best from career-day story times. We do those once a month or so. He likes to come by in his gear and talk to the kids about working for the reserve or fighting fires. You haven’t seen what ‘hanging on his every word’ looks like until you’ve seen a five-year-old boy on Sam’s lap touch his fire helmet. It’s crazy adorable. I guess you’ll find out, because he’s scheduled to come in next week.” Astrid pointed behind Avery at the window. “If you don’t hurry, he’s going to eat your pie.”
“See you Monday, Astrid,” Avery said before she headed for the door. “Oh, wait—I don’t know the cat’s name.” It seemed important to know her coworkers.
“Guess,” Astrid said, her lips twitching.
“Well, Pippi had a monkey... What was that monkey’s name?” Avery studied the orange cat, which had wrapped both paws around Astrid’s arm and tugged it down, forcibly demanding a pat. “Orange cat.”
“Insanely strong for a tubby ball of fluff,” Astrid said as she ran her hand down the cat’s back.
“You’re Astrid, so the cat’s... Pippi.” Avery laughed as Astrid gave her a thumbs-up with her free hand.
“I knew you were a smart one. This is going to work out fine.” Astrid picked up the cat. “When I get the dog, I’m going to branch out. I was thinking Lucy Maud Montgomery. You figure Carrots works for a dog?” Astrid frowned, the question obviously important in her mind. “I already have an orange cat. Do I need an orange dog?”
Avery loved how Astrid thought and mulled over the characters of Anne of Green Gables.
“Marilla would make an awesome library dog name,” Avery said as she pushed open the door, “or Jem for a boy.”
“Jem, like Anne and Gilbert’s son. That’s a Green Gables deep cut.” Astrid jumped up and down, her hands clutched in front of her. “I love it. Does the phrase ‘bosom friends’ concern you? Because if it does, I’ll wait to use it.”
Avery was still chuckling when she stopped in front of the library. Sam was completely missing, so she wandered over to the bench under the large shade tree.
Where he was eating her pie, if she was not mistaken.
Half a second before she got mad, he pulled a third white bag out from behind his back and tossed it to her. “Backup pie. I’m not an idiot.”
“How did you know I’d come looking for you here?” Avery asked as she slipped down on the bench beside him, the shade cool but not uncomfortable this early in the fall.
“Here we have a seat and some privacy to wallow in our dessert. Any smart person would claim this bench.” Sam crumpled up his empty bag. “You and I are nothing if not smart.”
Avery thought about that as she ate her pie. “Peach. My favorite. Did you get lucky or did you remember?”
Sam draped one arm over the back of the bench, warming her shoulders where they touched. “A little of both. Again, smart people choose peach.”
It was tempting to laugh at his smug expression, but she was too busy devouring the luscious goodness of Miss Rachel’s fried peach pie. When she finished, she sighed, long and loud. “I’ve missed those.”
“Yeah, you would have. I remember you out here every day after school.” Sam leaned forward to study her, and Avery immediately brushed off her jacket, her face, her pants, certain she’d left a trail of evidence. “Where are your books?”
“Since I never saw you step foot inside the library, I’m surprised you know what is kept inside, but the books will be coming.” Avery stretched both arms above her head, so comfortable in the late-afternoon shade with fresh sugar and fried dough percolating through her veins. “I might have figured out something to do with the rest of my life.” Rest of her life? Not. “Or at least for a bit, to get me out of the house. I’m going to work at the library.”
Sam studied her face. “It fits. You and Astrid will definitely be up to hijinks, but I think you might have found the next step.”
How easily Astrid’s name rolled off his lips. Was there something between them or not?
Why would it matter to her?
Avery took an easy breath for the first time in so long that she might as well be beginning at the beginning, learning to breathe sweet, easy air. For so long, every breath had to be measured and quiet and focused to keep the sobs from escaping that she’d forgotten what it was to be free. “Hijinks. I’m going to be involved in hijinks. I like the sound of that.” She tapped his boot with her foot and decided to go for it. “Astrid seems to like you. You guys have a thing?”
One corner of Sam’s mouth curled. “You jealous?”
“That’s you, if I recall correctly,” Avery said sweetly.
“I wasn’t jealous. I was watching out for you.” Sam shook his finger at her. “Been a long time since you had someone to look out for you? Well, get used to it. That’s what happens in Sweetwater. It’s a real neighborly place.”
Avery dipped her chin and did her best to convince him she wasn’t paying one single penny for the story he was selling.
“Do you want your mother and mine to keep pushing us together? Accuse me of being jealous of another man when they’re around and you won’t be able to brush me off. I’ll be like a burr in your blanket.” Sam crossed his arms over his chest.
“Until you leave.” Avery stared over her shoulder. “What time does the pie shop close? Think I have time for another?”
“Yeah, you’ve got time. And you need it.” His smile faded. “When I saw you last night, I was scared. Your face, it was so pale. Today, though, you seem more like Avery Abernathy, neighborhood scourge.” He wrapped one hand over her shoulder and squeezed. “It looks good on you.”
Avery relaxed even
further into the ease of the bench and Sam’s company, his hand a solid brace holding her attention and reminding her of what it was like to be young and strong and the competitor of this focused, powerful guy.
“It feels good, too.” Avery poked his leg. “I’m going to miss you when you go. When are you leaving?”
Sam’s face contorted into a wrinkled frown. “Man, I’d almost succeeded in forgetting that, and here you are, bringing it up.” He turned to stare at the pie place. “Better run and get your dessert.”
Determined to find out more, Avery shook her head. “Spill it. I want details, and if I have to get them from my mother, those two will be sending out wedding invites before we know it.” Avery was surprised at how easy it was to joke over such a thing. She didn’t know if she’d ever date again, much less get married, and at this point, she didn’t want to stare at the question for too long. But this was Sam. They’d known each other forever. If there was one man in the world she was safe enough to joke around with about marriage, it was him.
Sam scrubbed his hands over his face. “I sent in the application. Don’t know when they’ll start scheduling interviews. Until I get my rejection, I’ll be all nerves and I hate it. Today, all I wanted was leftovers. Then my plan was to find some flat cliff and climb straight up so that I could sleep tonight.” He squeezed her shoulder again. “Instead, I’m spending it with you, which is a lot like climbing tall mountains without a harness.”
Avery laughed. “Well, I can’t climb with you, not yet, but anytime you need a distraction, you come get me and we’ll eat three pies apiece. Then, when both of us are awake when we don’t want to be, we can blame it on the need to throw up.”
Sam didn’t laugh, but the crinkles at the corners of his dark eyes suggested he was amused and even happy to have her back.
“I’ve missed you and I didn’t even know it, AA.”
She knew exactly what he meant. Avery tried to absorb the late-afternoon sunshine that lit up her hometown. She’d missed Sweetwater and her mother, her best friend, their meddling, and this man who’d never once pitied her. If she was going to get better, she had to do it here.
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