Then Regina Blackburn stared from her to Sam and back before turning to Janet. “I think it will be a long night, Janet. Should we go find some coffee?”
Avery’s mother tilted her head to the side. “You know I don’t drink the stuff. Never have.”
Regina waved a hand. “Of course not. For me, silly. I’ll be the one staying with Sam.”
“No one’s staying,” he croaked, “because I’m fine.”
Regina frowned at him and then led Janet away.
Suddenly too tired to stand, Avery eased down on the doctor’s rolling chair. She wanted to be close enough to touch Sam, to watch and make sure that he had everything he needed, but she was so uncertain of what to say to him that she wished she had her own trouble speaking. When a nurse brought in a glass of water and said the doctor thought it was okay for Sam to drink since nausea didn’t seem to be a problem, Avery forced herself to take it and lean over him on the bed. “Here. Drink.”
Sam tried to reach for it, a wince wrinkling his lips before he could hide it. “No, let me.” Avery offered him the straw and waited for him to sip. When he pulled back, she set the cup down and sat back on the stool. She was so tired. This always happened to her. She could hold up under crisis, but when everything was done, she turned to mush.
Avery bent her head forward to rest her forehead against the bed. The feeling of Sam’s fingers brushing through the hair at her nape was comforting and so much more. She turned to face him. “I was so afraid.”
He nodded. He didn’t have to say he’d known she would be. They were friends, had been for a long time.
“I wasn’t sure you’d come here.” The last part of his words died off in a whisper but Avery could read his lips.
“I couldn’t stay away.” Then she grimaced. “But I only made it in because of Ash. I owe him a big thank-you. I might still be standing out on the sidewalk looking in otherwise.”
“You didn’t have to.” Sam winced at the weakness of his voice and said slowly, “But I’m glad you did.”
Before Avery could say anything to that, the doctor was back, his mother and hers bustled in, and everything was set in motion. Because of his concussion, the doctor was admitting him. A nurse brought in a small cup with ibuprofen.
“This time tomorrow, we’ll release him.” The doctor closed the clipboard he’d been writing on. “I expect him to be out of work at least four weeks, but more likely six given his occupation.”
No one in the room could predict how Sam would react to being out of work for that long, but no one was prepared to argue, either. Avery studied his face as he listened to the doctor outline the treatment plan and what came next.
If she’d had a million dollars to bet, she’d make the world’s safest wager that Sam was already plotting to cut everything the doctor recommended in half.
By noon, he’d have demanded his release and be hounding the poor doctor to be allowed back to work in fourteen days or less.
But tonight, he was too tired to argue.
And Avery was glad.
By the time they had him settled in a room, Sam was drifting off now and then, the loud bursts of Regina and Janet’s argument over who was staying with him provoking a restless shift of his legs and a frown now and then.
“We should both stay, Reggie,” Janet said, her eyes narrowed in determination. “He’s been practically a son to me, too. I don’t mind sleeping in a chair. We can take turns.”
Avery wasn’t certain whether it was possible to have flash-forward visions, but suddenly, she could imagine the three of them locked in similar conversations while they hovered over Sam’s hospital bed in the years to come.
Because she was certain that this would not be his only trip to the emergency room. That would be entirely too much to hope for. His job was dangerous and accidents happened, but when Avery realized that this was the first time his mother had gotten a call like this, ever, in Sam’s career...or in his whole adrenaline-filled life, it said that he was strong and smart and did a good job of taking care of himself and others.
And whenever his mother snapped or her mother shushed her, his brow wrinkled.
If they woke up the patient in the desire to care for him, Avery would lose her cool. There had been an episode once, long after the doctors had said there was nothing to be done for Robert, when one of the night nurses had come to take his blood pressure, of all things. Of course she’d had orders, but Avery had dragged her out in the hall to make it clear that no one was waking up her husband unless they were carrying the cure for inoperable lung cancer. Not anymore.
There was no doubt Avery had been a mess that night, but her firm voice had worked.
Tonight, she was going to attempt reason. If that didn’t work, she’d flip the switch to full-on avenging angel.
She wrapped her hands around her mother’s arm and Regina’s and urged them toward the door. Whatever the current state of their argument, they both got quiet. Surprise had a calming effect sometimes. At the doorway, Avery hit the light switch, casting the room into shadow except for the light over Sam’s bed. She didn’t want that one out. She needed to see his face.
Because she couldn’t leave him there. Even knowing he was going to be strong again the next day, she couldn’t leave him while he was weak.
“What are you doing, Avery?” Regina snapped as they stepped out into the noisy hallway. Avery never had figured out how anyone expected patients to heal with the constant hubbub in a hospital hallway. “You better take your mama on home,” Regina said. “I’ll stay with Sam and I’ll give you a call when the doctor says he can go, although I would not expect it to be late in the day because there is no way my boy is going to be content in this place—”
“I’m not going. I’m staying.” Janet would have stomped her foot. Her stubbornness was crystal clear, but she sent a quick look around and bent closer to whisper loudly, “You do not need to be spending your night alone here, Reggie. I won’t have it.”
Avery wrapped her arm around her mother’s shoulders, happy the steel was back in her voice.
Regina didn’t need to spend the night alone watching over her son. That would stay with her for the rest of her life.
And in that moment, Avery understood the long line of mistakes she’d made in caring for Robert. She’d insisted her friends go and told her mother she didn’t need her. And it had seemed true in the moment. Regina no doubt wanted to be everything Sam needed.
But if they left her there alone, she’d bear the weight of that for the rest of her life. Sam would be fine, but Regina would remember the waiting and worrying at his bedside until she died.
She didn’t need to carry that, not if Avery could help.
Coping with hospitals wasn’t something she wanted to be an expert in, but she was. She would use it to help Regina Blackburn.
“None of us are going home.” Avery held up her hand to interrupt Regina’s exasperated response. “We wouldn’t sleep anyway. Mama would be worried about you, and I would worry about...” Sam. She’d almost said it, but it was clear on their faces that they heard what she couldn’t say. “I’d be worried about both of you. Here’s what we’re going to do. You two are going to go down to the cafeteria to have dinner.” Avery shook her head as they started to argue again. “I’ll go later. While you’re gone, I’ll watch Sam. I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve, things I learned to make any night in a hospital room more comfortable. Get all your chatter out. You speculate on how long it’ll be until we get married or cuss about where I get my nerve or whatever, but when you come back into Sam’s room, you be quiet.”
She watched them consider her orders. Neither one knew what to do with her sudden take-charge attitude.
Avery wasn’t certain it was the right decision herself, but she did know a few things. Head of that list? If they woke up Sam with
chitchat, she would lose it.
Nobody needed to experience that.
Some of the brewing attitude must have shown on her face, because her mother nodded meekly.
They turned to go, but Avery stopped them with one hand on her mother’s shoulder. “Before you go, in case anything happens...” She cleared her throat. “I don’t know what could happen here, but in case I need to say this because I don’t have another chance... I’m sorry, Mama. I should have asked you to come when Robert was sick. I see that now.”
Her mother blinked, moisture welling up in her eyes. “Well, Avery, I’m not sure what to say.”
“I made so many mistakes. I chased away my friends because I could tell it hurt them to stay. I told you I had everything under control because it hurt you that I was in pain. And I did.” Avery smoothed her hair behind her ear. “But it took a toll, and I could be better off now if I’d asked for help. So I’m sorry.”
Her mother’s hugs had always smelled of clean laundry, her only perfume, and now the fragrance was a comfort and a reminder of how many times her mother had known what Avery needed. “There’s my smart girl.” Her hard squeeze was enough to set everything back in motion.
“Let’s go for dinner, Reggie. Avery’s got everything under control.” Janet didn’t hesitate as she slipped her arm through Regina Blackburn’s and guided her down the hallway.
Relieved she’d gotten that off her chest, Avery turned a determined face toward the nurse’s station. First, she’d be nice. Then she’d get tough.
The young girl behind the desk looked up the instant Avery stopped, a good sign.
“Y’all can head on out,” she said. “Sam’s in good hands and he’ll be ready for breakfast early in the morning.”
“No. We’re all going to stay the night.” When the girl immediately shook her head, Avery answered with a nod. “Yes, we will. And I’m going to need a couple of recliners for his room and at least three blankets, although more would be better.”
Hospitals were always so cold. This one was no different, and she’d left her house without her layers. Rookie mistake.
“Ma’am, we can’t do that. Each room is equipped with one for good reason. Responding to an emergency around all that equipment would be dangerous, even critical.”
The girl was clearly worried about how this was going to turn out, so Avery sighed. “A second recliner, then. We’ll take turns. And if that won’t work, the hospital administrator could explain to me why you can’t accommodate a reasonable request.”
The girl’s eyebrows shot up. “Fine. I’ll see what I can do. You can wait in the patient’s room.”
Avery pretended to consider that. “Or I can wait here.” She crossed her arms. “That’s what I’ll do. And do you have anything to eat? I’m purely starving.” Purely? That was east Tennessee through and through, even better than a cain’t.
The young woman held up a finger to indicate that Avery should wait one minute. As she listened to the girl request help moving a recliner into Sam’s room, Avery rolled her head from side to side to chase away some of the tension. It felt good to use her skills to get something done to help Regina. If she wasn’t here, her mother and Regina’s concern would escalate into a fight, wake Sam up, and everything would end in shouting and tears.
She wasn’t sure which of them would be shouting and which would cry, but it had better not be Sam.
When the girl motioned over her shoulder for Avery to follow her back to a small kitchenette with an ice machine, a few canned drinks and bowls of soup ready for the microwave, Avery relaxed. She could have done battle but it was so much better not to have to. She picked a chicken noodle soup that would no doubt taste like nothing and chew like rubber tires, and squeezed the girl’s hand. “You don’t know how much this helps. It’s been a long day, and even long nights are easier with warm soup.”
Some of the annoyance melted from the girl’s face. “The second chair is on its way.” Then she was gone. Avery studied the instructions on the cup of soup and the buttons on the microwave before she filled the cup with water and hit Cook. It was food-ish, much better than she’d expected. When her mother and Regina made it back, she’d consider leaving them alone to head down to the cafeteria.
She pointed out to herself that she’d successfully faced one of her fears in order to get to Sam.
That made her wonder if the need for him and his energy would be enough to help her overcome other hurdles.
Like...figuring out what she wanted to do next.
At some point, she was going to have to come to terms with the fact that fear was what was holding her back. She could do anything she wanted, and she couldn’t make her mind up to quit the job she was so terrible at and move out of her mother’s house? That made no sense, not unless there was an emotion she wouldn’t even look in the face.
Fear. She was afraid to take a chance because she could make the wrong choice again. Or she could choose correctly and lose it all. Again. Would she recover from the second loss?
Avery sipped the hot soup until all that was left were the hard noodle-like things at the bottom of the cup.
Then she wandered back into Sam’s quiet room. The second chair had arrived like magic. It was wedged tightly in the corner, which was a good thing. Avery had seen smaller sofas. The stack of blankets on top was impressive, too. She’d maintained the face that had gotten her at least one win in mock trials. She’d always been good at bluffing when she had to.
Avery picked up two blankets and stepped closer to the recliner beside Sam’s bed. She should let Regina take it. She and her mother could comfortably fit in the second chair. None of them would be sleeping well, but they were certainly better off than before.
She eased down in the recliner as she studied Sam’s face. Had the commotion of the moving furniture awakened him? If so, not for long. That was good. Avery fussed with the few items on the stand behind him and noticed a crumpled paper cup. They’d brought him a painkiller. His plastic glass of water was still pretty full, so she made sure he could reach it with his good arm if he needed it.
And then she forced herself to stop fussing. It was a habit she’d picked up during long nights. If her hands were busy, she didn’t have to think too hard.
Avery stretched out in the recliner and told herself she’d wait until Regina and Janet made it back. Then she’d make sure they followed her orders and settled quietly before she tried to sleep.
Avery threaded her hand through the rail to cover Sam’s good hand. When he tightened his fingers around hers, she relaxed against the recliner, pulled up the blanket and fell asleep.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
SAM WASN’T SURE what time it was when his painkiller wore off, but it was the most reliable alarm clock in the world. Before he could figure out how much of a fuss to make, a nurse was hovering beside his bed in the shadowy darkness, a paper cup in one hand and his plastic glass of water in the other. Neither of them spoke as Sam swallowed the pills, so it might have been a dream. If he could stay awake long enough, he’d know, but his eyelids were already heavy.
Aware of the hard ache in his side, Sam slowly turned his head to see Avery’s face. She was asleep, breathing softly, her curls wild. Over her shoulder, he could see the hazy forms of his mother and hers, cuddled up side by side in the world’s biggest recliner.
He wanted to laugh, but it would hurt and he didn’t want to disturb his guardian angels.
“They’re so sweet like this, like cuddly little puppies in a basket. And it’s prime sneaking-out time. They’d sleep through an invasion.” Avery was still blinking sleepily but her smile was wicked. “We could make a run for it. By the time they woke up, we could have you settled in your own place. They would be shocked.”
Sam wrinkled his nose. “Yeah, I took more pills. I won’t be much help for long.”
Then he nodded. “Let’s do it anyway.”
How pitiful was it that he was so relieved to have them there? He didn’t think waking up alone would have been scary.
But after the night he’d had, the last thing he wanted to examine was loneliness.
Here, he didn’t have to worry too much about it.
When he made the move, would he ever have another day without it?
“Glad you’re here.” The burn in his throat was better, but still there. Before he could ask her to hand him his water, Avery had sat up and was offering him the straw. “Nursing school. That’s what you should do next. Good at it.”
She rolled her eyes. “Nope, it’s pretty clear to me I was on the right track before. Vague threats were all it took to get us all the comfort and style. Those I’m good at. Nursing would be a real chore for me. That I do out of love only.” Her eyes met his and he was thankful for the light over his head.
He wanted to ask her so many things, but his voice wasn’t up to it. Tonight, in this hospital room, they were close as ever and might as well have been the only people in the world. This was his chance to make a declaration or ask her for one.
Instead, he’d croak. She’d worry. And nothing would be solved.
So Sam squeezed her fingers. “Sorry you’re spending another night in a hospital.”
Avery glanced down at where their hands were joined. “Me, too.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I realized tonight how much harder I made things for myself and the people who loved me by shutting them out. I owed Robert that time and care and attention, but I needed help. I could have used someone to sleep beside my bed so I wouldn’t be lonely when I woke up.” She motioned with her head over her shoulder at their mothers and Sam knew what she meant.
“Sam,” Avery said slowly, “this is going to sound so strange but...” She stared at the darkness as she weighed her words.
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