by Sarah Dell
***
The room we met the Queen in was ornately decorated with same the same Japanese influences as the rest of the Queen’s sanctuary. The room gave off a sense of calm and peace, which I found odd since I would be asked to make my first kill in this room. I would have preferred a cold, sterile room, but I wasn't in control in the Queen's sanctuary. I wondered if the Queen would let me choose the human that I was to kill or if one had already been chosen for me.
I didn’t really want to choose the person I would kill, but I also didn’t like thinking the choice wasn't mine to make. I told myself that it didn’t matter. I would kill whoever I could to lose my humanity. I told myself that it would be over quickly. I would bite into the carotid artery and just let the blood flow into me. It would be quick.
The room wasn’t small, but it felt crowded with all seven council members, Tino, Endora, the Queen, and a few witches, including Enlil, gathered into the room. The council members were assembled in the back of the room except for Castor, who was in the center of the room with Endora and me. Tino was leaning against one of the side walls. The Queen sat at the front of the room with Enlil standing at her side.
The Queen was a small woman by any standards. She looked like she was younger than I was when she was turned into a vampire, but I could tell she was old by looking into her eyes. Her eyes told a story of a girl who had seen too much in her many years on this earth. It was odd how her eyes didn’t match the rest of her. I thought it was almost jarring to look at her, and I noticed that many in the room did not look directly at her, but I couldn't look away. I wondered if I was looking at my future. I wondered if I would become like her. I wondered if one day I would look frozen in time with dangerous eyes.
“So, you’re the one I’ve heard so much about” the Queen said. “I heard you ran away recently, but then you came back. Tell me, why did you come back?” she asked.
“This is where I belong” I told her.
“And you are ready to fully embrace this life?” she asked.
“Yes” I said. Then I saw the man behind the Queen. I couldn’t believe I was looking at the man who killed Matthias. I hoped that he was the one I would have to kill. Killing Caligari would be easy. He was the one person I would enjoy killing. I took a step towards him, but I felt the pull of Endora’s control telling me that I couldn’t kill him.
“Surprised to see me?” he asked.
“Yes” it was all I could do to hold back my anger. I didn’t want him to know that I cared. I didn’t want him to know that he could get to me. Endora could only hold me back for so long, and I could wait. One day I would kill him. After tonight I didn’t know what I would be, but I did know that I wouldn’t feel an ounce of remorse after killing Caligari.
“I wouldn’t miss this” he said. “If I can’t kill you, I can at least watch as you kill your water powers”.
“Bring him in” the Queen said to Caligari, and I smelled the warm sweetness of his scent before I saw him. Matthias was bound with chains looking as if he had been beaten. My heart soared at the sight of him. I couldn’t believe I was seeing him; that he was here and he was ok. All I wanted to do was remove the chains, tend to the cuts on his face, hold him, and tell him that everything was going to be okay, but I knew that I couldn’t. I couldn’t help him. “This is the man you ran away with isn’t it?” the Queen asked. “This man betrayed you to the Brotherhood” she said.
“Yes” I said. I was hoping that she wouldn’t say what I knew she was going to say.
“Are you willing to kill him?” she asked.
“No” I said. I was willing to kill anyone they put in front of me, but I couldn’t kill Matthias.
“Would you rather die than kill him?” the Queen asked.
“Yes” I said, and I heard Matthias protest against his bonds.
“So be it. Endora” the Queen said the name in the form of an order, and I knew that she was ordering Endora to kill me.
“Lily I’m sorry” Endora said. Then I felt her control telling me to kill Matthias. I felt the dreaded involuntary reaction to her order well up inside me. Then I hated everything inside me for making me do what I was about to do. I was going to kill the one person I loved, and there was nothing I could do about it. My body moved without my telling it to. Everything inside of me screamed no. Then I felt something inside me break. It was like a twig snapped inside my chest, but there was no pain. The involuntary movements stopped. I realized that I was in full control of my body again.
I looked at Endora, and I remembered what she has told me about what would happen if she commanded me to do something I would rather die than to do. I could no more kill Matthias than I could kill myself. When Endora commanded me to kill Matthias she had knowingly broken our bond. Then I felt the water rush over me. The walls of the room shook.
“What did you do?” I heard Castor ask Endora.
“I freed her” Endora said.
“You may have killed us all” Castor said.
“What’s going on” I heard the Queen ask, but it sounded so far away. Without my bond with Endora the water powers inside me were taking control. I would have laughed if I had been able to. I used to dream of what it would be like to not be bound to Endora, but all I felt was a deep emptiness that was slowly being filled by something worst. At least with Endora I knew what I was dealing with. Endora hadn’t had a choice. She was trying to save me. If she hadn’t released my bond Castor would have made her kill me.
“She broke her bond. Endora is not controlling her anymore” Castor said.
“That’s not possible” the Queen said. The water was washing over me in waves, and I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t hold the waves back. I was going to bring the whole sanctuary down and kill everyone inside it. Then I saw Matthias’s face and I could hear him telling me that I could control it. His eyes helped me hold the water back, but I knew that I couldn’t hold it for long. The water was calling me. It wanted me to be one with it. I couldn’t stop it.
“I can get her out of the sanctuary if you let me leave with her” I heard Enlil say.
“No” I heard the Queen say. I heard a sound like something snapped.
“Do you have a better option?” Castor asked.
“You told me she could be controlled” the Queen said.
“She was under control” Castor said. “You shouldn’t have brought the boy into this”.
“I can’t hold this much longer. I’m going to bring this place down” I said thru a clinched jaw.
“Losing one slave is better than losing this whole place” Castor said.
“You can get her out of here?” the Queen asked Enlil.
“Yes” he said.
“I want to take Matthias too” I said.
“No” the Queen said.
“Then I’m going to bring this place down, and I don’t care who I take with me” I said.
“You have to let them go” Castor said.
“Go, before I change my mind” the Queen said. “Know that this isn’t over” she finished. Then I felt air on my skin. It felt like a warm breeze blowing across my skin. As were left the sanctuary, I heard Endora scream. I knew she would pay the ultimate price for my freedom. Endora’s scream was followed by a scream from Tino, but I didn’t have time to look back. I felt like I was floating in a bubble. I don’t know how long it took us to get from the sanctuary to the shore because I don’t remember the trip back. I just remembered being safe and warm inside the air bubble Enlil created. Then we were on a beach somewhere I didn’t know, but that didn’t matter. I noticed that someone had removed the chains from Matthias, and Enlil was no longer wearing a slave collar.
“Why would you come back for me?” I asked the question that I’d wanted to ask since Matthias had come back to save me.
“I couldn’t leave without you” he said. “I realized that my freedom didn’t mean anything if I didn’t have you. I lost you once, and I couldn’t lose you again”.
I looked
at Matthias. He was the reason I had wanted to lose my humanity, but he was also the one to save me. The only way I could have broken my bond was if Endora had asked me to kill someone I loved more than myself. Endora knew how I felt about Matthias even before I did. She knew what would happen when she gave that order. I also knew Castor had killed her. She had died for me so I wouldn't have to lose the rest of my humanity and be lost as a vampire forever.
Then Matthias was kissing me, and I knew that whatever happened after today would be would be okay. After all this time and everything we had been though, we would be finally be together.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Sarah Dell has always enjoyed making up stories, but it wasn’t until 2009 that she had the thought to write her stories down for others to enjoy. “In the Face of Darkness” is the first story she had published. When she is not writing she spends most of her time with her husband Ryan.