by Lou Aronica
Miea tossed a quick look to Chris. “Maybe the next time you’re here.”
The stop after this was Miea’s old dormitory. It was constructed, like many of the buildings around the campus, from sturdy uinta, a crimsonochre variety mined in a quarry only a few miles south. Compared to the architectural magic of Menziesii Hall, the dormitories were plain—simple structures with clean lines. They represented Miea’s first, and only, attempt at living on her own, however, and as such held a very special place in her heart.
“I wonder if we can get into my old room,” Miea said, entering a building.
“You stayed in a regular dormitory?” Chris said.
Miea smiled. “Yes, I did, though it required a significant amount of negotiation. You wouldn’t believe the suite they had planned for me.”
Becky seemed fascinated with even these modest surroundings. “So you got to live here totally on your own?”
“Along with a roommate and a couple hundred other students.”
“This is very cool.”
They continued to the room itself, and Miea knocked on the door. She heard scurrying and then a harried-looking woman quickly opened the door.
“I know I’m late, I’m sorr—” The woman stopped abruptly. She had clearly been expecting someone else.
“I lived here once,” Miea said. “Do you mind if we come in for a moment?”
The woman didn’t move and didn’t say a word, staring confusedly. At last, she said, “Your Majesty?” very softly.
“I realize I have no right to impose on you. This trip was something of a whim. Would you mind if we took a look for just a minute?”
The woman stepped out of the doorway. “No, no, of course. Come right in.” She hurriedly began picking up food, clothing, and loose papers.
“My guess is that this room looked considerably neater when you lived here,” Chris said in a whisper.
“It didn’t, actually.”
Becky tugged on her arm. “You were a slob when you were a teenager?”
Miea rolled her eyes. “I’m still a slob. You just can’t tell because people pick up after me immediately.”
Becky threw a playful slap at her father’s chest. “See, Dad. There’s something royal about being sloppy.”
“Thanks, Miea,” Chris said sternly. He was smiling, though. This trip seemed to be relaxing him. Maybe he’d begun to reconcile the conversation they’d had earlier.
The woman who lived in the room now was obviously uncomfortable having the queen here. She’d stopped picking up, but stood nervously in a corner. Miea walked over to the window to view the rolling meadow and its shimmering rainbow of wildflowers. Dyson and she had picnicked in that very meadow when she was last here. She never had the opportunity to return to her room that day.
“It’s a wonderful view, isn’t it?” she said to the woman. The view was the one concession she gave to special treatment. The position of this window afforded the best vista in the entire building.
The woman took a step forward. “I sometimes spend hours glancing out at that meadow. Your Majesty, no one ever told me that this room had once been yours. I would have taken better care of it if I’d known.”
“Don’t be silly. It’s your room now and you should live in it the way you want to live in it. I certainly did.” Miea glanced out the window for another long moment. She’d lost so much since she’d last stood here. For the first time in a long time, though—maybe even the first time since that day—she had reason to believe that good things were coming. Even Dyson had returned to her.
She turned and smiled at the woman. “You’re late and I’m keeping you. We’ll go now.”
They left the dormitory and walked toward the center of campus. On the common, people read, ate, laid on blankets, and conversed with friends. Several of them stood and bowed when she passed, and Miea waved politely. A collection of students followed her at a distance, probably thinking she hadn’t noticed that they were doing so. Though she’d never blended into the crowd here, she had been far less conspicuous when she was a member of the class.
A group was playing poledisk, with the launcher throwing the disk at unpredictable distances and three others trying desperately to catch it on their poles, laughing and exchanging insults with the launcher as they did.
“I love this game,” Becky said as she stopped and watched.
“Do you have poledisk where you come from?”
“No, I made it up. But I got a chance to play it on one of my trips. I even scored!”
“That’s very impressive for someone with no experience.”
“Yeah,” Becky said proudly, then turned to admire the participants’ antics. “Do you think they’d let me play?”
Miea smiled. “Something tells me they might.” They walked a little closer and she called to the launcher. “Excuse me?”
The launcher threw the disk dozens of yards away from his cohorts and then turned to her, chuckling over what he’d done. When he recognized Miea, though, his expression sobered and he bowed awkwardly. One player retrieved the disk and then all four bowed together.
“I’m sorry to interrupt you, but I wonder if my friend could join you for a few minutes.”
The four rose from their bows and looked at one another, exchanging something she couldn’t hear. “Of course, Your Majesty,” said one of the players with a pole, walking toward Miea. Becky met him along the way and took the pole from him.
“Dad, watch,” she said. “I’m really good at this.”
Play resumed with the launcher making several easy throws to Becky and glancing back in Miea’s direction. After a few of these, Becky said, “You can throw harder. I know what I’m doing,” and the game resumed at a somewhat less frenetic pace than when Miea had originally broken in.
Miea turned to Chris, who cheered as Becky made a difficult catch. “She’s really enjoying herself.”
“You have no idea how hard I’ve wished to see her like this again.”
“I know you must feel overwhelmed by what you’ve learned today, Chris, but keep this image in your head. This is what Becky can be like all the time. Maybe this is what Becky was always meant to be like.”
The disk spiraled in the air far to Becky’s left. She sprinted after it, pole raised high. She knew she could get it if she ran as hard as she could. She reached for the disk—and suddenly felt like a train had hit her. The pole flew from her hand and she tumbled hard to the ground. Only after she landed did she see the boy who had slammed into her. She was dazed, but she was pretty sure she was all right.
The boy scrambled to his feet quickly and came to her side. “I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”
Becky stood up and dusted herself off. She waved back her father, who’d started jogging in her direction with a concerned look on his face. “Yeah, I’m fine. I should have paid more attention to where I was going. Are you okay?”
“Of course, of course.” The boy ran to get her pole and handed it to her gently. “Is the queen going to have me arrested?” he said nervously.
Becky laughed loudly. “I’ll bet I can get you a reduced sentence.”
The boy seemed worried. “I really didn’t do it intentionally.”
“I’m joking. The queen is cool.”
The boy looked toward Miea and then back at Becky. “How do you know her? Are you her cousin or something?”
“I think you would call us distant relatives.”
“Are you thinking of coming to school here?”
Becky glanced out at the campus and sighed. “I wish I could, but I live really far away. This is probably the only chance I’ll ever get to visit.”
“That’s really too bad.” The launcher gestured to the boy and he gestured back. “Do you want to take a few more throws? I promise to keep my eyes open.”
“Yeah, that would be great.”
The game resumed with the launcher making a few lame throws that Becky could have caught lying down. Again, Becky needed to push him
to play harder. The effects of the crash hadn’t bothered her at all.
If Chris had any doubts regarding Miea’s claims about Becky’s health, Becky’s response to the collision had eliminated them. Sick kids didn’t bounce up like that. As far as he knew, he was in good shape, but if someone ran into him the way that kid ran into Becky, Chris probably would have stayed on the ground a while.
He would talk to Becky about living in Tamarisk when they got home. Of course, there was no choice. Even if Miea’s theory proved false, they were no worse off than they were already. Seeing Becky this vibrant, though, made him want to believe that Miea had uncovered the answer to keeping her this way.
For now, he just wanted to watch her play, to sear her vitality into his memory. He wanted to think of her this way always.
Miea seemed to delight in watching Becky nearly as much as he did. She’d said they’d be like sisters living here. As they walked away from the common and continued their tour of the campus, Miea wrapped an arm around Becky’s shoulders. Exactly the way a big sister might.
They approached the School of Technology, another handsomely constructed building made from the same orangish stone as many others, when Chris felt some resistance to his steps.
“Did you feel that, Beck?” he said.
“Yeah. I was kinda hoping the pull would forget about us for a while.”
The pull was more intense than usual. Maybe it just seemed that way now because of what he knew. How could Becky fight a force like this by simply deciding to do so?
Miea hugged Becky and then reached for Chris. Before they could touch, though, Chris felt himself slip away.
He opened his eyes to find himself seated on Becky’s bed. She was slumped against him, her head on his chest, sleeping and breathing softly.
She’d had a wonderful adventure tonight, certainly the most lighthearted time she’d spent in weeks. There had been a physical toll, however. As he settled her under her covers, Becky didn’t stir at all.
Chris watched her still form for several minutes. She was no longer the boundless vision he’d seen running only a short while ago. She would never be that person in this world again.
No, there was no choice at all, regardless of his doubts.
In the morning, he would let Becky know what Miea had told him.
21
Chris was up by six the next morning after a fitful sleep. He’d been thinking about what he needed to say to Becky the entire night. How did one prepare for a conversation like this?
Waiting for her to awaken, he tried reading the paper and then some of a new novel he’d started, but he couldn’t concentrate. He tried watching television, but there was little more than infomercials at this time on a Sunday. He thought about pulling out the home movie DVDs again, but even he realized how ridiculously maudlin that would be. This wasn’t a time to wallow. All wallowing had been temporarily—maybe permanently—suspended. He’d allowed melancholy to seduce him for the last time.
Eventually he sat back on the couch and watched the ceiling, a meditative exercise that managed to prove more restorative than hours of tossing in bed.
Becky came into the room around nine thirty. “Is there something interesting up there?” she said. He sat up and beckoned her to sit next to him. Her eyes looked sunken and her skin sallow. He wished he could see her play poledisk again.
“Babe, I have something serious to talk to you about.”
Becky slumped against the couch. “I knew it. I knew Miea had horrible news and didn’t want to tell me last night.”
“She did have news, Beck, but it isn’t horrible. It’s remarkable. I mean, utterly remarkable. On every level.”
He proceeded to tell her everything Miea told him about Dr. Nella’s findings and about the connection between her and Tamarisk.
“I can live there?” Becky said when he finished.
“You can live well there. With nothing at all wrong with you.”
“That’s why I could run around so much last night. I couldn’t figure out how that was happening.”
“You’ll have all the energy of a very, very healthy fourteen-year-old.”
Becky stared at the middle distance, obviously trying to assimilate this. She looked back at him. “Can people come to visit me?”
Chris felt tears coming to his eyes and he fought them back. “I’m afraid not, babe.”
“Can I come back here sometimes?”
“Not unless Miea is reading the signs wrong. It’s a one-way ticket, Beck.”
Becky seemed to capture these words very slowly. Chris could see her thinking, imagining a future without the people who’d always surrounded her. Whose face flashed in her head? Polly’s? Lonnie’s? Some guy she’d never told him about? His?
“So if I go there, I go there alone. Forever.”
Chris exhorted himself to bear up. He needed all the strength he possessed. This could not be about him in any way. “That’s how it would have to be.”
Becky lowered her eyes. “I don’t know that I could do that.”
Chris took both of her hands in his and squeezed them tightly. “Think about the alternative, babe. How is that even an option now that we know this? You just got an amazing new lease on life. You can live unimpaired in a spectacular place. Think of our best vacation ever, quintuple that, and you’re talking about a bad day in Tamarisk.”
Becky held his gaze for a long moment and then looked away. “This is just so permanent.”
“So is the decision not to go.”
Becky looked at him again through eyes that bore layers of confusion, illness, and innocence. “You want me to do this.”
“No,” he said with a dry laugh. “I want the third option where I get to go with you or at least come to visit several times a week. Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be one of the choices.”
Becky leaned toward him and he pulled her close. She felt so substantial to him. Chris knew he needed to memorize this feeling. For several minutes neither spoke. Then Becky sat back against the couch, Chris’s arm behind her.
“If I go, the blight is over?”
“You make Tamarisk better every time you’re there. If you stayed there permanently, the blight would disappear.”
“This is so incredible.”
“You can believe it, Beck. Think about what it felt like at the university last night. You weren’t sick. You were completely better. A big college kid slammed into you, and you bounced right up.”
Now it was Becky’s turn to stare at the ceiling. “How do we tell Mom?”
“We’ll figure something out.”
Becky leaned forward. “Dad, she doesn’t believe any of this.”
“We’ll figure something out. That can’t be an impediment at this point.”
“It is, though, Dad.”
Chris understood—even better than Becky did— how Polly’s resistance could feel like a huge obstacle. He wouldn’t let her get in the way this time, though.
“I’ll deal with your mother,” he said, knowing he hadn’t effectively “dealt with” Polly in years. That didn’t matter. Their history meant nothing now.
“We can’t just shove this down her throat. I couldn’t live with that. If I didn’t have her blessing, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I can’t live a happy life in Tamarisk if I know she’s here mourning my death.”
Chris hadn’t anticipated this particular complication. He should have realized that Becky would want both Polly and him to make peace with this, but he wasn’t thinking that way. All he understood was that Tamarisk was an immense gift. You didn’t turn down gifts like that.
“Then we’ll get her blessing.”
“It’s not gonna be easy, Dad. She’ll just think both of us have lost our minds.”
“We’ll talk to her this afternoon when I bring you back.”
Absorb this and all other resources , Chris thought, repeating the words from that otherworldly voice, as he often did these days.
&nb
sp; It turned out that optimism was an easily recalled sense, even though Miea had employed it so infrequently the past few years. She had awoken this morning feeling even more refreshed than she felt after Dr. Nella’s news. Her world would live. Becky would live. There was a future again—a future that held genuine promise. On top of that, Dyson was coming to have lunch with her today, the first time since their reunion that he would be here on non-state business. She’d spoken with him last night and told him everything, and he was nearly as overjoyed as she was. Today they would close the door to her chambers, she’d insist on no interruptions (she’d cancelled a meeting with the minister of transportation to make room for the lunch), and they would talk about anything other than the blight.
“You needed me, Your Majesty?” Sorbus said, entering her office.
Miea stood from her desk and approached her closest aide. “We have some planning to do, Sorbus. We need to get a construction crew and a decorator in here immediately.”
“Absolutely, Your Majesty. Can I give them some idea of their task before they arrive?”
“We’re going to be doing some renovation to the residence. To the suite next to my own.”
“Your old rooms, Your Majesty?”
“Yes. I no longer require the files, studies, and models that are in there. We can put those in storage. No, we can dispose of them entirely—I think; let me get back to you about that. I want that area to be a living space again. I want to knock down a few walls to make it more open. I want a door that goes directly out onto the courtyard. I want bigger windows . . . and a skylight in the bedroom.”
“I’ll let the construction people know.”
“Tell the decorator to think of creative ways to use payette. Seney as well. She seemed to be very fond of that fabric.”
“‘She,’ Your Majesty?”
Miea smiled broadly. She’d been so preoccupied gesturing and imagining ways to improve the space that she’d forgotten to tell Sorbus why she wanted any of this. “We’re building these rooms for Becky.”
Sorbus nodded. “It’s very gracious of you to give her a place to settle during her visits.”