by Noelle Adams
“Molly,” Luke said again, moving so quickly she jerked in surprised when he was on the floor beside her and taking her into his arms, “Molly, please don’t cry.”
“I’m trying not to,” she hiccupped into his chest, feeling comforted by his warm body and strong arms, despite herself.
He’d never held her as she cried before. Not once in all her life.
His arms tightened around her. He started to say something—at least, she thought he did. He must have changed his mind, though. He let her cry for a few minutes, holding her so tightly she thought her ribs might crack.
When she got control of herself, she pulled away reluctantly. She took a deep breath and told herself she could face this like a grown-up.
People got divorced all the time. They had their hearts broken all the time.
They survived.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
It was his home. There was no reason why he shouldn’t be here. But he’d been gone all night and then had come in just now, calling her name.
“I came here to say something,” he said, straightening up and twisting his wedding ring on his finger.
“Oh. What?” She wiped at the remaining tears with her hands.
He hesitated for a long moment. Then the words just burst out. “You can’t go back to James.”
“What?”
“You can’t go back to him. He won’t make you happy. Just look at how you’re crying.” His urgent expression changed then, as if he’d just processed something. “Wait, why are you crying?”
“Why wouldn’t I cry?” She couldn’t really understand what was happening. Her brain wasn’t working as it should. “This is…this is awful.”
Luke reached over and tilted up her head, peering at her face with the intense scrutiny she’d seen in his eyes before. “Then don’t leave.” His tone was uncharacteristically blunt, rough. “I don’t want you to leave.”
It was so close to what she wanted to hear from him that her heart lurched, but she wasn’t going to be weak and foolish, now that she’d made her decision. “I can understand that,” she began, pleased she sounded more controlled than before. “I can. I know the sex is really good. And this arrangement works out really well for you.”
His jaw clenched. “You can’t really believe that’s all I have invested in this.”
“I know you like me. I know we’ve gotten closer. I’m not saying our friendship isn’t real. But, Luke, it’s not a real marriage. And it’s really starting to mess up my…my emotions.”
His face took on that urgent, determined look again. “That’s what I came here to tell you. I know I should probably just let you leave. I know our marriage hasn’t been enough for you. But I think it can be.”
She blinked up at him, completely uncomprehending.
“I think I can do better. I know I work all the time and can’t ever seem to express my feelings, but I promise I’ll work on it. If you’ll give me another chance, I think I can be a better husband. I can give you what you need.” He reached out and took her face in his hands.
“But Luke,” she choked, “What I need is a marriage that’s real.”
“I know. That’s what I want to give you.” When she opened her mouth to argue again, he spoke over her. “I know you don’t love me, but I’m not ready to just give up. If you give me a chance, I can show you… You might grow to love me. Please, Molly, give me another chance.”
The world seemed to shift around her, and she couldn’t process the change. She was still clutching his shirt in her hands. “What?”
His eyes held hers with an intensity, a nakedness, she’d never seen there before. “You said that what we have in this marriage isn’t enough for you. The truth is it’s not enough for me either.” He let out a slow exhale and slid his hand back into her hair. “I want more.”
“What?”
His face was strangely tender, like he was about to kiss her. He didn’t, though. “I know this is sudden, baby, but can’t you say anything else?”
She looked down at his damp, twisted shirt in her hands. She was trembling.
“What are you holding?” he asked in a different tone. He took the wrinkled fabric from her hands. “Wait, is this my shirt?”
He looked back up at her suddenly, something new awakening in his eyes. “Molly?”
Ridiculously, she felt a sliver of a familiar dry humor. “I was mad at you,” she said, hiding her eyes, “So I decided to rip one of your shirts into shreds.”
He chuckled and lifted her chin so he could see her face. “I don’t believe you.”
“Luke, I want our marriage to work too,” she admitted. “But I can’t settle anymore. It’s not good for either one of us. I only want a husband who…who…”
“Who what?” His voice was barely a breath.
“Who loves me.”
He frowned, his forehead wrinkling. “Didn’t I say that? Molly, of course, I love you. Didn’t you know that? This whole inelegant speech was intended to convince you that I’ll pour everything I can into our marriage in the hopes that you can love me too.”
“You love me?” she said in an embarrassing squeak. Her heart felt like it had burst open and spilled out into her chest.
His lips twitched just slightly. “Is it really that shocking?”
The flicker of irony completely undid Molly, when coupled with the overwhelming joy. She threw herself into his arms again and burst into more ridiculous tears.
He hugged her close, smelling like heat, emotion, a really long night, and Luke. And Luke. He stroked her back and buried his face in her hair. But after a moment he murmured dryly, “If you don’t stop crying soon, I’m going to get concerned.”
She couldn’t hold back a laugh, and she was beaming up into his face as she pulled out of his arms. “You really love me?”
“Can you think of any other reason I’d be down on the floor like this, making a complete fool of myself?”
She laughed. Then she couldn’t seem to stop.
After a minute, Luke said slowly, “I’m glad you’re feeling better, but could you at least give me a hint? Does this mean you’re willing to give our marriage another chance?”
“Of course,” she joked, grabbing the lapels to his jacket. “Of course I am.”
He took a thick breath and closed his eyes for a moment.
She realized he really hadn’t thought she returned his feelings, that he’d been afraid she would reject his proposal.
But he’d taken the risk anyway.
“I love you too,” she added, “In case you didn’t know.”
He opened his eyes, and emotion was blazing out of them. She wondered how she’d ever believed him to be cold, controlled, and distanced.
“I didn’t know.”
She reached over and picked up the pages she’d been writing before he burst in. She folded it so the writing was hidden. “I’d been writing you a note,” she said, “To explain why I was leaving. But fortunately you won’t have to make your way through my incoherent—Hey!” He’d taken the note out of her hand.
She made a half-hearted effort to get it back, but then she gave up and let him read it. She knew how much it meant to him when she saw emotion flicker over his face as he read her rambling confession.
He’d gotten to the last paragraph when her eyes strayed down to the floor, and she noticed that Luke’s feet were bare.
She glanced up at him, affirming he was still wearing his tux, and then she looked back down at his bare feet.
He’d finished reading and started to say something when he noticed her distraction.
“Where are your shoes?” she asked breathlessly.
He cleared his throat and glanced away. “I took them off.”
Her eyes widened as she processed what this meant. “You did?”
“I knew I had to tell you how I felt before you left, but it doesn’t come naturally to me.”
Nothing he could have said would have prov
en the depth and sincerity of his feelings for her the way this did. She couldn’t even speak in the face of it.
At a complete loss for words, she leaned over and brushed his lips with hers. Molly melted into him, as his fingers tangled in her hair and then curled around the back of her head.
After a moment, she pulled away. “I love you like crazy, but I’m not feeling too sexy at the moment. Plus, I’m an absolute mess.”
“You’re beautiful,” Luke said thickly, gazing down at her like he meant it. “I’ve never seen anything more beautiful in my life.”
She felt like melting even more, but her sense of irony saved her. “You’re stretching credibility a little bit there. No need to pull out both guns.”
He laughed and heaved himself to his feet, and then stretched a hand out to help her up as well. He kept his hand in hers as he asked, “What should we do now?”
“Honestly, I think I need a shower.”
He huffed in dry amusement. “Me too.”
“Then I need breakfast.”
“Sounds good.”
“Then I need a nap.”
“Sounds just about perfect.”
They took their showers, and they ate breakfast at the bar in the kitchen. Then Luke took her by the hand and led her into his bedroom. He drew the blackout shades while she crawled under the covers, and she reached out for him as soon as he climbed in beside her.
He held her in his arms, burying his face in her still damp hair. “Molly,” he murmured thickly. “Molly, I love you so much. I can’t believe you love me too.”
He was warm and hard and Luke, and her heart would have exploded in perfect joy if she hadn’t been quite so tired.
As it was, she just mumbled sleepily, “Well, I do.”
Twelve
Molly was running late.
She’d had a meeting run longer than it was supposed to, so she got back to the apartment a half-hour later than she’d planned, leaving herself only twenty minutes to get ready to go out that evening.
As she dumped her purse and satchel on the floor of the entry hall, she was a little worried to see Luke hadn’t made it home yet either. While it was sometimes nice if Luke was running late when she was too, Molly just hoped his lateness wasn’t a bad sign about his meeting
He'd texted her earlier that day, but that was before his meeting.
She hurried down the hall, starting to pull off her jacket and unbutton her blouse as she did. It only took her a few seconds to finishing undressing in the bedroom, and she left her clothes on the floor as she jumped into the shower. She didn’t wash her hair, but it had been a long day—and she refused to get all dressed up without taking a quick shower first.
She’d gotten out and was wrapping the towel around her body as she walked back into the bedroom when Luke appeared in front of her unexpectedly.
With a little squeak of surprise, she returned his smile and stepped out of his way to let him into the bathroom. He was bare-chested and unbuckling his belt, obviously also trying to grab a quick shower before they went out.
“How was the meeting?” she called, watching as he dropped his pants and stepped into the shower. He seemed to be in a very good mood, which was promising.
“Good,” he replied, over the sound of spraying water. “Everyone agreed that the tearooms have turned around enough this quarter, and it would be premature to close them yet.”
“I’m so glad.” Molly picked out a red bra and thong set from her underwear drawer.
“They’ll have to do really well next quarter. It’s not a done deal yet.” They were speaking loudly to be heard over the shower and in between the bathroom and bedroom.
Molly grinned as she hooked her bra and then sat on the bed to pull on her stockings. “But, still, it’s better than nothing. At least everyone has more time.”
“Yeah. The marketing team showed me a new proposal today. It looks really good.” Luke’s voice was clearer, since he’d turned the shower off. He’d finished his shower even more quickly than she had.
He walked into their bedroom, completely naked.
Molly watched his lean, masculine body appreciatively as he made his way into the huge closet. He paused, evidently noticing her gaze. With a familiar half-smile, he said, “No time for that. We have to leave in nine minutes.”
She stifled a giggle as she jumped up, realizing she was wasting time valuable time leering at her husband. She already knew what dress she was going to wear, so she followed Luke into the closet, grabbing a dark red cocktail dress from where it was hanging. Her clothes were no longer sectioned off into her personal outfits and Luke’s social-event outfits. She’d gradually gotten rid of all the clothes she didn’t like.
“Is that new?” Luke asked, momentarily distracted from deciding between what appeared to be two identical black suits. His eyes flickered from her mostly naked body to the pretty red dress she was holding.
She twitched her eyebrows at him teasingly. The dress was indeed new. She’d just bought it a few days ago after having fallen in love with it in a designer boutique. She grabbed her new shoes and carried her outfit back into the bedroom.
As she pulled the dress over her head, she loved how the Italian silk knit felt against her skin and the way the simple sheathe style clung to her curves.
She was putting on her new black heels, feeling a happy moment of girliness at the way the distinctive red soles looked with her dress when Luke emerged from the closet, wearing his trousers and working on the cuffs of his dress shirt.
“Very nice,” he murmured, his appreciative gaze affirming the words. “New shoes too?”
She nodded and stood up, turning all the way around to show him her entire ensemble. “It was definitely an indulgence.” She grinned as she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. “But worth it, I think.”
“Definitely worth it.”
When she turned back to him, she saw he was now watching her with something other than the warm admiration. “What is it?”
He shook his head. His mouth was relaxed, but he seemed like he was barely suppressing a smile.
“What?” she demanded.
“Nothing. It’s just nice that you’re not always digging in your heels about spending money anymore and price-checking every gift I give you.”
She blew out her breath, torn between defensiveness and a giddy kind of sheepishness. “Well, it can be hard! Especially when I felt like I was spending your money.” She made a very good income with her business, but she never could have afforded this very affluent lifestyle if she hadn’t been married to Luke.
His expression sobered slightly. “You’re not spending my money. It’s ours.”
She gave him a lopsided smile and stepped over to press a little kiss against the corner of his mouth. “I know. That’s why it’s not as hard for me anymore.”
It took a moment before her words processed in Luke’s expression. But she saw when they did. She was going to say more when she happened to glance at the clock. With a squeak, she said, “Four minutes!” and ran over to pick out some jewelry.
Luke continued working on his cuffs, but his eyes were on her in the mirror as she lifted her Tahitian black pearl necklace around her neck.
He walked over to help her hook the necklace. “You were wearing these the night of that Renoir opening,” he added, almost diffidently.
Her lips parted in surprise. “Good memory! That was the night you barged in on me without knocking when I was almost naked and then helped me pick out an outfit.”
“I did knock. You said you were ready. So I came in.” He paused. “I couldn’t keep my hands off you that night,” he admitted, something slightly thick in his voice. “I was so turned-on, seeing you like that in just your underwear, shoes, and jewelry. It was all I could do not to fuck you then and there.”
Her cheeks flushed with pleasure and a rush of physical desire at the erotic sound of his voice and the look in his eyes. “I had no idea. I would have been tota
lly willing if you’d suggested it.”
He shook his head and started to button his dress shirt. “We’d already had sex once that week. I was trying to play by the rules.”
She chuckled as she finished putting her in her earrings. Then she went into the closet to get Luke’s suit jacket and pick out a tie for him to wear. When she returned, she wrapped it around his collar and knotted the tie for him as he finished tucking in his shirt.
She touched up her lipstick and grabbed her wrap and purse and was ready to leave the room with Luke when she gasped, “My hair!” It was tousled around her shoulders and she hadn’t even brushed it out since her shower.
“I like it like that,” Luke said, pulling her out of the room before she could pat her hair down in the mirror.
She made a face at him. “I’ll fix it in the car.”
* * *
The cocktail party was pretty boring, and the guests were all the usual.
They were doing their usual mingling when she spotted someone she recognized across the room.
She hadn't seen Janice Cokesbury since the art opening several months ago, but Molly recognized the woman’s lovely silver hair and elegant posture immediately.
Janice’s eyes met hers across the room, and the woman raised her hand in a friendly gesture. Molly excused herself from the conversation and walked over to talk to Janice.
Janice greeted her with a little hug like an old friend. “I’m so pleased to see you again, my dear.”
“It’s been a long time.” Naturally curious, she’d wondered why she didn’t see Janice around very much, since clearly they seemed to move in the same circles. “Have you been out of town?”
“I spend most of my time in the south of France,” Janice explained. “But I can’t stay away from Toronto completely. You look absolutely lovely, dear. Even prettier than the last time I saw you.”
Ridiculously, Molly felt herself flushing. “Thank you. I don’t know why that would be. Maybe it’s my new dress.” She pitched her tone ironically, almost teasingly.
Janice smiled but she shook her head, studying Molly’s face thoughtfully. “No, no. I think you look happier.” A slight question awoke in her eyes as she must have processed this thought.