She bit her lip.
He added, "The man on that bed will never be kind or gentle or any of the things I sense that you need." He turned her again, this time making her face Joachim.
Her eyes met Joachim's once more, and her stomach quivered.
"Look at him," Shivawn said. "Even now there's a wildness about him that you cannot deny. He will never be able to control his temper. He will never be able to destroy the demons that plague you."
Shivawn's words were supposed to comfort her, to assure her that choosing safety over passion was the right decision. But they didn't. Because there was no stronger warrior than Joachim. He did have a temper, and he did appear wild. Yet, if anyone could fight and destroy demons of the past, it was him. He was just so vital.
Joachim didn't utter a sound. He simply pulled four strips of cloth from underneath his pillow. He draped them over his knees.
"What are those for?" Shivawn demanded.
"Tie me to the bed, Brenna," Joachim said.
She glanced down at the material in puzzlement... and desire. "What?"
"Tie me to the bed."
Her gaze swiftly returned to Joachim's face. His expression was hard, resolved and aroused. So aroused. Heat blazed in his blue eyes, burning her inside and out. "Why? Don't understand."
"I'm not going to tell you that you'll hate yourself later if you choose Shivawn. You could probably be happy with him, and you'll always feel safe. But he can't fill the void inside you and give you the life I know you've dreamed of having. I can. All you have to do is trust that I'll never hurt you. Never. I would die first. I'll do whatever it takes to prove it."
"Joachim," Shivawn snarled.
"Tie me to the bed, and you will be in control of everything that happens," Joachim explained. A muscle ticked beneath his eye. "I'm giving you complete... power over me. You need to take back your sense of control, so I'm going to help you."
He was talking about bondage. About sex. Her wild gaze darted between the two men. "Shi—Shivawn?" What did he have to say about this?
He was the one to remain silent this time. He was stiff and radiated fury.
"I noticed how you jump every time someone comes up behind you," Joachim said, "so I'm going to show you the pleasure of having a man there. Later. This time I want to show you the pleasure of being in control."
This big, strong warrior was willing to give up control—his precious control—for her. A tremor worked through her. The revelation startled her, strengthened her. She'd wanted passion, she'd admitted that to herself already. No one could give her more passion than Joachim. She'd admitted that, too, but she'd been scared of it. Scared of him. And so she'd done her best to fall for Shivawn. She might even have convinced herself of it. For a while. Eventually, she would have realized the truth.
All along, it had been Joachim she'd desired. She simply hadn't wanted to want him. He was taking a chance on her with his willingness to be bound. She could do no less for him. I'm not going to be scared anymore.
Eyes filling with tears, she looked at Shivawn. He was so sweet, so kind and giving. But as she looked at him, she realized he was exactly what she didn't need anymore. A bodyguard. She could take care of herself now. She'd been in this palace for days and hadn't been hurt. She'd faced down the warriors and hadn't been attacked.
"You can walk away from both of us," Joachim said, his voice rough. "We won't stop you."
Run, and stay locked in her safe little world. No feeling. No pain. No pleasure. I'll never run again. "I'm so sorry, Shivawn," she said, chin trembling. "I wanted it to be you. I did. But... "
"Stop. Please. Just stop." He studied her for a long while, jaw locked tight. Then he slowly turned to Joachim. "She is yours. I relinquish all claim to her."
"Thank you," Joachim said tightly.
Shivawn flicked her one last glance, nodded, and strode from the room, leaving her alone with Joachim. Brenna gulped. Gathering her courage, she faced him.
Her man.
Fear would never rule her life again.
She'd chosen him, and she was only sorry it had taken her so long to realize the depth of this man's honor. He trusted her to chain him; she would trust him not to hurt her.
Ready to finally move on with her life, she walked forward. Her heart raced erratically, but she didn't stop until she was in front of him. Joachim stood, grasping the ties in his fists.
His gaze was hard, unrelenting. "Did your attacker use his hands or a weapon? If he used a weapon, I want you to use the same on me."
At first, she didn't answer, didn't let the memory intrude on this precious time. "Only hands," she managed on a trembling breath.
He nodded and gave her the bonds. Slowly, very slowly, Joachim unfastened his pants and pushed them from his hips. They pooled on the floor and she was given a glimpse of large, aroused male.
"Come here," he commanded, lying on the bed. "Tie me."
Her hands were shaky as she tied his wrists to the posts, then his ankles. Then she stood at the side of the bed, staring down at him. Such magnificence, hers to control.
Joachim didn't utter a word, but he watched her intently. Her knees almost buckled because she knew what he expected, what he wanted. It was her turn to strip. After the attack, she'd stopped working out and had tried to make herself as unattractive as possible. Would Joachim find her body undesirable?
She reached up with shaky fingers and undid her robe's shoulder ties, revealing her breasts. She continued to watch Joachim, gauging his reaction. There was no disappointment in his eyes. Only desire. She lost a little of her uncertainty. Delicious bumps broke out over her skin as his gaze skimmed over her, his nostrils flaring with arousal.
"You are beautiful, Brenna."
When her robe was completely loosed, it fell from her body and joined Joachim's pants on the floor. Finally she was naked, like him. Her cheeks heated as Joachim's eyes raked over her again. At one time, the thought of joining a man on a bed would have paralyzed her. This time, her hormones were too busy rejoicing.
"Close your eyes," he said.
She didn't think to argue.
"Imagine me behind you. Imagine my hands caressing your shoulders and cupping your breasts. Imagine me rolling your nipples between my fingers."
Yes. Yes! She saw it in her mind, just like before, only this time the image was clearer. Her head would fall back onto his shoulder, her hair tickling them both. His fingers would touch every inch of her.
Imagining was almost as good as the real thing. Almost. But thinking about it did make her unbearably wet.
"I want to lick you," Joachim said.
"Yes," she said breathlessly.
She climbed onto the bed without hesitation. Soon she straddled Joachim, her knees at his waist, his erection between her legs, touching her intimately but not entering her. She moaned at the utter decadence.
"Lean forward," Joachim urged roughly.
He might be tied, but he was still a warrior. For the first time, a small kernel of fear sprouted. You're safe. You're protected. She crawled up him until her breasts were poised over his waiting mouth. Her black curls fell around them like a curtain as he eagerly sucked on her, dissolving her fear, filling her with pleasure. Contact with his hot, hot mouth was like nothing she'd ever experienced. His mouth possessed volts of electricity, and those volts lanced inside her body.
She groaned, the sound broken and rough.
While Joachim sucked her, she continued to imagine. Had his hands been free, he would have traced them over her back, over the ridges of her spine. Over the curve of her bottom. Yes, yes! She saw it happening, somehow felt it. Everywhere his phantom hands touched, his mouth followed, his phantom tongue laving her skin. She couldn't help herself. She writhed against Joachim's penis without actual penetration. She was so wet, she slid up and down with ease.
"You taste like heaven," Joachim said.
In her mind, Joachim's hands circled her and urged her to straighten, then his fingers
were sinking past her pubic hair and into her moist, hot center. She gave another groan of absolute pleasure.
Why had she tied him? she mused.
He sucked her nipple with delicious force.
"Yes," she gasped out, unable to say anything else. "Yes."
Her head again fell back.
"Do you want me to lick between your legs?"
"Yes." She didn't try to deny it or play coy. She wanted Joachim's mouth there. She wanted it fiercely. Would have killed for it.
"Come here," Joachim said. Sweat beaded over his skin. His jaw was tense.
She moved forward until she was poised over Joachim's body, the apex of her thighs mere inches from his face.
"Lower," he commanded, a rough snarl.
"Joachim," she said, sinking into him and in the next instant he was loving her with his face. His tongue, his lips, his teeth. He used them all. She screamed at the intense sensation, the heady pleasure. Her hips writhed back and forth.
"Come, Brenna. Come for me," Joachim said, and she obeyed. Her pleasure exploded. Erupted. Her entire body shook and trembled with her climax, propelling her to the gates of paradise. Joachim drank her up until she thought she could take no more.
"Take me," he said. "Put me inside you."
Limbs weak, she straddled Joachim's waist without hesitation. She rose up, placed Joachim's shaft at her entrance and sank down on him, taking him all the way to the hilt. He was big, and it had been so long. He stretched her, but it was a wonderful stretch. Made her feel alive.
Joachim roared.
She panted his name over and over again. "Joachim." She couldn't say it enough. It was in her head, branded on every cell in her body. "Joachim."
She was safe. She was sated—and would soon find release again. Her nerve endings were already sparking with renewed life.
She anchored her hands on Joachim's chest. Their faces were inches apart, his breath a part of her and her breath a part of him.
"Kiss me," he said.
Her mouth meshed against Joachim's. She gasped in pleasure and he swallowed the sound. Hard, hot, gentle, fast, slow, his tongue sparred with hers as she rode him. It was sheer bliss. Total ravishment.
The kiss became savage, and in turn, the loving became savage. Her teeth banged his; her body slammed up and down. She purred, she groaned, she gasped some more.
"That's it," Joachim praised. "Take it all."
"Yes."
"No more fear." Joachim.
"No more," she panted.
"Come for me, sweet." Joachim nipped her collarbone. He strained against his bonds. "Show me how much you like having me inside you."
There was no holding back at that point, no prolonging the pleasure. She erupted for the second time. The orgasm was so intense a black web clouded her vision. She was dying slowly, quickly, unable to breathe, yet so alive she could have stayed exactly where she was forever. "Joachim," she screamed, and for once she didn't care how broken her voice sounded.
"Brenna." Joachim roared loud and long and reared up, sinking deep, deeper than she'd ever thought possible.
She collapsed onto his chest. "Thank you," she panted. "Thank you."
"Untie me," he ordered harshly.
She didn't think to deny him. Blindly she reached up and removed the bonds. His arms instantly wrapped around her, pulling her close and holding her tightly. Cherishing her.
"No more fear," he said again.
"No more," she agreed. She would have agreed with anything he said just then. Marry him—yes. Be his slave—of course. His heat surrounded her, enveloped her, beckoned her.
"Mine," he said.
"Yours," she breathed. "Joachim's." Her eyes closed, her lids growing heavier and heavier with every second that passed. Sleep summoned, a peaceful sleep she'd needed for so long but had been too afraid to take. "Don't let me go."
"Never."
Oblivion claimed her then. She was smiling.
SHIVAWN STOOD IN THE hallway for a long while. He wished Brenna had chosen him, but it had been Joachim her eyes had heated for. Joachim she'd probably wanted all along. He was angry, so very angry. She was beautiful, she was passionate, she was kind. But she wasn't his. He knew that now. No matter how much pleasure Shivawn could have given her, no matter how safe he could have made her feel, she would always have wanted Joachim.
The two were mates, that much was clear now.
And so he ended up alone.
Perhaps one day he would find a woman who loved him like that. Who wanted him above all others.
He blinked when he realized Alyssa had stepped into the hall and now stood a few feet away from him. He scowled at her.
She frowned at him. "You smell like a human," she said flatly. "Have you been with one? Is she your mate?"
"What business is it of yours?" He leapt into a quick stride.
She followed suit, keeping pace beside him. "Is she?"
"No," he snapped.
"I told you I would see to your needs," she snapped back. "You should have come to me."
"And I told you no." Alyssa was beautiful, and Shivawn even felt himself stir for a taste of her, but he would not touch her. He didn't have Valerian's love for the vampires.
Vampires survived on blood and sometimes took more than they should. He'd made the mistake of bedding a vampire only once and had almost died for it. Never again, he'd vowed. Alyssa knew that, but she always sought him out when she came to visit.
"Goodbye, Alyssa," he said, and strode away from her.
She wasn't content to remain behind this time. She rushed after him, even jumped in front of him. Her eyes glowed. "I've always known I would have you one day, Shivawn, and I've decided today is that day."
Her lips slammed into his, her tongue forcing its way into his mouth. The taste of her filled him. Not a taste of blood and death, but of woman. Shivawn found himself responding. He was disgusted with himself but maybe, just maybe, she could help him forget his loneliness.
"One night," he growled. "That's all I'll give you."
Triumph blazed in her eyes, and her red, red lips curled in a sensual smile. "That's all I'm asking for."
CHAPTER 25
SHAYE LOUNGED AT THE EDGE of the bathing pool. Warm, steaming water lapped at her sensitized skin. The scent of orchids filled the room, sweetly perfuming the air with a sultry ambiance. She inhaled deeply. Her body was sore, but her spirit was invigorated.
Valerian sat behind her, massaging her shoulders. His magical fingers worked her muscles expertly. He knew exactly where to rub, knew the precise amount of pressure to apply for optimum enjoyment. Her head lolled back, resting on his shoulder. Steam coated their skin and his exhalations chilled the sheen of liquid.
"Thank you for gifting me with your virginity," he said.
"My pleasure." Really. She'd never enjoyed herself more. Never thought losing all control, all sense of her cool facade could be so blissful.
In the pleasure-filled hours they'd just spent together, she'd realized a few things. She'd given Valerian more than her body; she'd given him pieces of herself, just as she'd feared. She hadn't meant to, had tried to guard against it, yet had been helpless to do otherwise. But it was going to be okay.
He was a nymph, and nymphs liked sex (and lots of it), but she would be the one he came to. She was going to trust him. Not love him, she assured herself, still refusing to experience the emotion. But trust.
It would be hard, she didn't doubt that, but to keep him in her life she was willing to try.
"Your wounds healed," she said without turning to face him. She'd noticed when they adjourned to this bath.
"Yes."
"I'm glad."
"Me, too."
"Now you have the strength to tell me the secret spot on a woman's body," she said. "The place that brings maximum pleasure."
"Mmm, well. I will tell you for a kiss." He nuzzled the side of her cheek.
Ah, she loved his bargaining. "I'll kiss you if you tell
me what I want to know," she said throatily, grinding against the erection pressed against her lower back.
He hissed in a breath. "I love when you move like that. Keep doing it and I will tell you all my deep, dark secrets."
Up, down she moved.
His hands tightened on her waist. "Close your eyes," he commanded softly.
They'd made love only an hour ago, but it felt like an eternity. She needed him inside her again. Addicting... that's what he was.
"Shaye." He tsked. "Close. Your. Eyes."
Her eyelids fluttered shut. Darkness blanketed her mind. His hands glided over her shoulders, caressed her neck, then dipped to her breasts, kneading.
"Picture what I'm doing to you."
"I thought—"
"Do it."
Picture it, he'd said, so she did. In her mind, she could see the thickness of his hands covering the pale mounds of her breasts. Her nipples, pink and pearled, peaked through the crevices of his fingers. Pleasure spiraled through her, hot and needy. Seemingly unquenchable.
Unbidden, her legs spread, silently begging for his attentions. A single touch, a pinch, something. Anything. She ached, oh, she ached.
One of Valerian's hands glided down her stomach. She felt it, yes, just the way she'd wanted it, but more than that she saw it in her mind. Another picture of them. Valerian behind her, this time with his hand between her legs, parting her wet folds. But he didn't touch her where she needed him most. Not yet. He stayed poised, inches above her entrance.
"What do you see?" His voice was strained, as if it required all of his strength to remain still.
"You. Me."
"Do you see me licking you here or sliding my fingers into you?"
"F-fingers," she managed.
"Are they moving slowly, savoring or pounding in and out?"
As he spoke, she again pictured it. Again saw it, unable to stop the flood of images. Yet he didn't do it, didn't do what she needed. Her hips moved forward, seeking. Back, seeking. Forward, back. Writhing and arching. "Touch me, Valerian. Please."
"Tell me. What do you see? Slow or fast?"
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