And even sound asleep, he radiated power. Dominance.
He scared the shit out of her, even as she wanted him desperately.
“Thank you.” Maddy whispered the words to the slumbering man as she left his bedroom. She would call him later—she didn’t think she’d be able to stay away—but right at that moment, she needed some space.
Steeling herself, Maddy turned to head down the hallway to the front entrance of the penthouse. No doubt it had some fancy security on it that she would have no idea how to get around, but she was sure that Declan or someone was around somewhere. She doubted that a man as rich as Alex cleaned his own toilets.
“Hmm.” Her feet refused to move. She furrowed her brow as, instead of heading to the front door, she found herself walking to the closed door of the dungeon.
Her heart skipped a beat as she ran her fingers over the smooth metal handle. It was locked. She was sure it was locked. But she tried just the same—she couldn’t seem to help herself.
The door opened. Maddy gasped as she all but fell into the room, only barely catching herself.
It looked different in the daylight. Less sensual, more . . . well, she didn’t really have a word to describe what it looked like.
How did one describe something like this? Lost for words, she pushed the door shut behind her until only a sliver of light from the hallway showed through, then wandered across the floor aimlessly, trying to take in her surroundings without the distracting presence of Alex.
The shelf on the far side of the black-and-gray room seemed like a good place to start. Her steps were hesitant, even without anyone there to see her. But for heaven’s sake, she was heading toward a shelf that held . . . obscure things. Devices of torture. It was just slightly surreal.
Her eyes flicked over the different . . . she didn’t even know what to call them. Instruments? Maddy supposed that word would do as well as any other. Vibrators. Well, she knew what those were for, even if it had been years since she’d owned one. Something that looked kind of like a spatula, but with a long, flexible handle. A leather . . . Surely that wasn’t a feather duster. In fact, she had a good idea what that one might be for, and it made her pulse skitter. Hastily, she moved on down the shelf, her eyes open and, though wary, still greedy for information.
There was an open black box that held a handful of silicone pieces shaped like elongated lightbulbs. There was a big pottery dish of things that looked like clothespins, but with sparkly stones hanging off one end. There was a leather strap with a silver ring holding a black rubber ball centered in the strip and a pair of heavy-looking silver globes the size of golf balls.
Handcuffs. She knew what those were for, too, though she’d never used them. An image of herself cuffed to the bed that she’d just scrambled out of made her blush.
Great coils of rope hung on the walls, all different lengths and widths. Their pale straw color broke up the deep gray color of the walls, much, Maddy imagined, as a whip would mark skin.
The image suffused her with heat. The whips hung next to the ropes, a full dozen of them.
Her eyes strayed to the big wooden X that stood in the center of the room. There were silver restraints at each tip of the X, and since she wasn’t stupid, she knew what they were for.
“Shit.” She couldn’t ignore the interest that she was feeling. Maddy shook her head, squeezed her eyes tightly shut for a long moment, then moved quickly to the sideways cross.
The wood was dark and highly polished. Tentatively, she reached out and ran her fingers over it. It was smooth and cool.
She could imagine what it would feel like against her back, her arms, and her legs. Although she wanted to deny it, the daydream she was entertaining was . . . exciting. Arousing. As was the thought of one of those whips flicking against her skin, held in Alex’s powerful grasp.
Maddy gasped out loud at the thought, then chastised herself just as quickly.
“If something like this excites you, Stone, then Dr. Gill has more work to do than she thinks.” Maddy muttered the words, then, shoring up her resolve, decided that for the sake of her mental health, she needed to go.
She turned only to shriek when she found a large, masculine frame mere inches behind her. She slapped out with both hands, and the figure caught her wrists and held her tightly in place.
• • •
“Easy, Maddy.” Alex slid his hands from Maddy’s wrists up to her shoulders, and electricity followed in his wake. Though she was dressed, Maddy was still bedroom eyed, her hair tousled, and he could smell the musk of sleep clinging to her skin.
He had woken just in time to see her wavy ribbons of hair slip out the door of the bedroom. Guessing where she’d wind up, he’d taken his time pulling on a pair of printed navy pajama bottoms, the drawstring holding them up just below his hip bones.
The little doe looked mortified, and he thoroughly enjoyed the accompanying blush.
“I . . .” Maddy stuttered. He wasn’t going to ask her to explain herself, though he couldn’t quite suppress the knowing grin.
She was intrigued by this room, by the idea of BDSM—by him.
He wasn’t alone in his desire.
“It’s not wrong, what you’re feeling.” It pissed Alex off to see the hint of shame in Maddy’s expression as she studied his face. Though mainstream society certainly said differently, the BDSM lifestyle wasn’t anything to be ashamed of. Nor was it about a man needing to hit a woman or about a woman needing a man because she couldn’t think for herself, or any of the dozens of other stereotypes that existed.
Some people simply had different needs, needs that couldn’t be satisfied by bland sexual relations. It wasn’t wrong; it was just different.
He knew from past experience, though, that he could tell her that until he ran out of breath, but ultimately it was something she would have to discover for herself.
Clearly wrestling with her conflicting shame and desire, Maddy groaned out loud and shut her eyes.
When she opened her eyes again, peeking up at him, Alex couldn’t help but smile. “This is pretty heavy talk for first thing in the morning, Maddy.” He removed his hands from her shoulders and took her hand.
Her face showed surprised. She tugged a bit, but he simply laced his fingers in hers and pulled her toward the door.
“Alex.” When she said his name, so intimately, it felt like a caress on his skin. He paused, turning back to find her looking at him with an intent stare.
Tentatively, she rose up on her tiptoes until she could brace her hands against his chest.
Lifting her chin, she brushed a kiss over the line of his jaw. Heat began to coil in his gut as she moved her lush, moist lips up until they brushed over his.
“Fuck, Maddy.” He closed his eyes and groaned as she tentatively explored his mouth, her tongue tracing the seam of his lips as she grew bolder.
She was a brave one. He had shown her his dungeon, and instead of running, she was chasing the thrill.
“Maddy, wait.” It nearly killed him, but he reached up and caught her wrists in his hands. Allowing himself to savor one final brush of her mouth over his, he pulled back, bending down to press a kiss into her soft, warm hair, then pulled her out into the hall.
“There will be plenty of time to explore each other, Maddy. But right now you need some time to think.”
• • •
As the door snicked shut behind them, she felt as though they’d left Neverland and arrived back in reality. Maddy blinked in the brighter light of the hallway.
Her eyes adjusted to the light, and she felt the desire of moments before replaced with irritation and uncertainty. “Did I do something wrong?”
Before she could even take another breath, Alex had her pressed against the wall, one hand caught in her hair, tugging her head back to expose her throat. He trailed a line of hot kisses over the skin, ones that left her weak in the knees. At the same time, he took her hand and, sliding it between their bodies, pressed her palm again
st the length of his erection.
“You’ve done everything just right, Maddy.” When her hand squeezed involuntarily, he arched into the touch. “I’m trying to be a gentleman here.”
“I’m sorry.” Her voice was contrite. “I’m also sorry I went into your—room.” She blurted out the apology before he could get mad at her, though she still wasn’t about to call it a dungeon. It sounded absurd. Normal people didn’t have dungeons in their homes.
Nothing about Alex was normal.
He eyed her with speculation, and with a hand placed at the small of her back, ushered her down the hallway.
“I left the door unlocked on purpose, Maddy. I hoped you’d be curious to go back and explore.”
She inhaled deeply; she’d thought she was off the hook, and instead he’d gotten her right where he wanted her.
Alex Fraser was going to be a hard man to say no to—she doubted that he heard the word very often. But this was wrong on so many levels. A man like him didn’t belong with a woman like her, for starters. Then there was the whole reality of her life, which, while slowly getting better, was still a tangle of strings where there had once been a tapestry.
Alex’s lifestyle was only going to make that tangle tighter, not coax the strings back into their proper place.
“I’ve got to go, Alex.” At the end of the hall, by the front entryway, Maddy turned to face him, though she didn’t meet his eyes. He was wearing those glasses of his again, and he looked so sexy in them that it broke her concentration. He hadn’t done anything to make her feel embarrassed, but still, this was the second time she’d all but thrown herself at him and he’d rejected her. “Thank you . . . um, thank you.”
How did one say goodbye in this kind of relationship . . . or whatever this thing between them was? She almost felt as though she should hold out her hand and offer to shake.
She settled for stooping to grab her purse, which was tucked under the table in the entryway.
“I should spank you for trying to sneak out.”
Maddy dropped the purse she’d just picked up and stood abruptly as the words shocked all sense right out of her. She looked straight into his eyes, and her mouth fell open.
“I beg your pardon?” She tried to put some frost into her words—he’d just told her he wanted to spank her—but she couldn’t find the chill. No, instead his words made her think of his hand across her bare bottom, striking her until her flesh turned pink from his touch.
She wanted it. She craved it.
She was going insane.
“You heard me.” Damn it, he knew what kind of pull he had over her. “I’m glad you went exploring, little one. I’m not glad that you tried to sneak away without an explanation or a goodbye. If you were my submissive, that kind of behavior would have me turning you over my knee.”
Maddy tried to mask her face into indignation. She was fairly certain that she didn’t succeed.
“That doesn’t make me any more inclined to accept your offer, Alex.” She didn’t like being chastised like a child, but damn it, she still couldn’t help the sensation that his words had wrought.
What was wrong with her?
“I think it does, Maddy.” Like a predator sensing weakness, Alex stepped closer to her, until there was only a sliver of space between them. She swallowed hard, trying to keep her thoughts clear when all she could see, all she could smell, was him.
“I think you like the idea of being punished, very much. I think it excites you, just the same way that the thought of punishing you excites me. Why are you denying it, when it would bring so much delight to both of us?”
Maddy looked up at him, feeling her eyes go wide. His stare fastened on her lips, and he leaned down. She knew he was going to kiss her—she hoped he would—but when he touched her, she couldn’t think.
“No.” Maddy backed away from him rapidly, needing some air. She knew she’d never make it past the security system of his front door, so she backpedaled to the kitchen. It was a big mistake, because when she saw the enormous island in the middle of the room, all she could think of was the sensual feast of the night before, of Alex feeding her with such care. He followed, and she wondered if his words were a prelude, if he was actually going to do it.
“You can’t. You won’t.” Maddy backed up until the small of her back hit the edge of the island. Her fingers scrabbled for purchase on the slick tile. “I’m a grown woman. You can’t spank me!”
“I could.” This time he gave her some space, staying just out of her reach. She found that she was a bit disappointed.
“But you won’t.” Maddy tried to make her words assertive. She fell flat.
To her surprise, he nodded in agreement. “But I won’t.” He echoed her words. “I won’t, because you haven’t signed my agreement yet. But I have hope.”
Then, as if they had been discussing nothing more than the weather, he moved to a sleek-looking phone that was mounted on the wall. “I’m going to place my order for breakfast. What would you like?”
She blinked, thrown completely off balance, even more so than before.
“Alex, I’m not eating breakfast. I need to go.” Now she was getting irritated. Being persistent was one thing, but . . .
He raised an eyebrow at her, then spoke into the receiver. He seemed to be calling either a housekeeper or one of the restaurants downstairs, someone who knew who he was, because he didn’t identify himself, just asked for two of the usual.
“No matter how sexy you look in those damned pajama pants, you can’t just completely ignore what I want, Alex!” Maddy bit her tongue when she realized what she’d said.
He grinned at her, at ease in his skin. “You think I’m sexy, huh?”
She stared down at the fingers that she’d twisted together, her face turning red. “Obviously.” Clearly she would never have let him do . . . well . . . everything, if she didn’t think so. “And don’t ignore what I said.”
“I’m not ignoring you, Maddy. I will never ignore you.” Placing the phone back in its mount, he looked at her, and she felt suddenly certain that she was the only thing on his mind right at that moment.
It was humbling.
It was terrifying.
“Then why do you keep doing what you want, no matter what I say?” Alex moved closer, and she thought, again, that he was about to kiss her. Instead he clasped her by her hips, lifting her until she was perched on the counter. He stood in front of her, and their eyes were nearly level as they looked at each other.
“Because I’m doing what you actually want, not what you think you want.”
A strangled sound escaped Maddy’s lips when his words sank in. What an arrogant ass. She opened her mouth to tell him so, but he ran a finger over her lips to quiet her and continued to speak.
“You’re warring with yourself. That’s not uncommon in submissives who aren’t familiar with this kind of relationship.”
Maddy’s mouth fell open a little bit farther, and she glared at him. Submissive? Like hell she was submissive.
“Somehow, somewhere along the way, this kind of relationship came to be seen as taboo by the rest of the world. Twisted. Wrong.”
She narrowed her eyes further and crossed her arms over her chest. He was describing her life, at least the way her life was before he came into it.
“But some of us just need a bit more than the vanilla world can offer. Nothing wrong with that, so I’m not surprised that you’re confused about that.” With one finger placed under her chin, he tilted her head up so that he could look her in the eyes. “But there’s something more here, something you haven’t told me. If you sign the agreement, you will tell me. You’ll have to, or I can’t help.”
Maddy sputtered, furious, confused, and needy all wrapped into one giant bundle. How had he pegged her so well and yet gotten her so wrong?
“What agreement?” These were the only words that she could spit out. She shoved everything else away, to examine later.
Once she was
alone.
“We’ll talk about that after breakfast.” He was as smooth and unruffled as ever. He was so . . . sure of himself.
She had no doubt that when he took charge, she wouldn’t have to think about a thing, because he would be entirely in control. He would take care of her.
“How was last night for you?”
Oh, he just wouldn’t give up. Maddy shifted uncomfortably at Alex’s words. Last night was . . . well, it was a lot of things, things that she wasn’t certain of.
Things that made her nervous.
Plus really, really amazing.
“Alex, I do need to go.” She slid down from her perch on the counter, nervousness slicing through her veins like a thousand tiny knives. She’d never been so torn. Half of her, the part that she knew as well as she knew her own features, was shrieking at her to leave, to get as far away from this unfamiliar situation as she could possibly get.
The other half, which was nearly as loud, wanted her to sign whatever agreement he had, right then and there. Maddy couldn’t deny that she wanted what he offered, craved the release that he’d already nudged her into grabbing hold of.
Alex studied her, his expression intent. He wasn’t as inscrutable as she thought a man of his temperament would have been; rather, his emotions were displayed on his face, easy to read unless he was trying to hide them.
What she saw now was that he was as conflicted as she was herself. He wanted her to stay, but she didn’t think he wanted to push her farther than she could go.
Maddy sighed inwardly. Even if he were to push, she wouldn’t snap. She’d been through so much already.
Then she watched as a look of understanding passed over Alex’s face. In the blink of an eye, he transformed from the compassionate man who was trying to understand her internal struggle to someone . . . strong. Someone in control.
“Maddy, I want you to eat some breakfast. You need to take care of yourself.” His tone indicated to her that this wasn’t a request. After a long moment in which she bristled at the demand, she relaxed in one big shudder, as if the tension that had been holding her taut for the last long months had suddenly snapped.
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