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Blush Page 25

by Lauren Jameson


  Maddy tried to hide her shock, but then she remembered Alex’s face when he’d caught sight of something that startled him at Massimo’s house—the shelf holding the single photo of a beautiful woman. It was only after that that his manner had changed so drastically.

  “He didn’t care enough about her to find out that she had a husband. I’d assumed he would know and that when I went to him asking for help, he would make it right. He considers himself an honest man.” Massimo’s bitterness made his words sour. “Even then, he didn’t think me important enough to dig very far into me. He didn’t look hard enough to find out that the woman who used to be my wife was once his submissive. That’s the term for all of you little sluts, isn’t it?”

  Maddy’s mind whirled. Massimo’s anger came across like he was a child having a temper tantrum. And yet she was certain that none of it was her business. Not anymore.

  “I would like you to leave now.” She’d had enough emotional highs and lows in the last few days to last her a lifetime. Planting her feet, she pointed at the door. “Coffee’s on the house. Just go.”

  Massimo stood, and Maddy had long enough only to think that it had been too easy when the man spoke again.

  “I’m not done. Alex Fraser drove my woman away from me, and I came here to return the favor. I know his secrets, and I’m going to tell you.” He grinned, and Maddy shook her head, trying to stop him before he could tell her what he seemed so desperate to reveal.

  “No.” She wanted to know, but she wanted to hear it from Alex.

  He leaned forward, close enough to get in her space, but not enough to touch her.

  She grimaced at the sensation and sought desperately for a way to escape him.

  “Alex Fraser has a daughter. He fucked his shrink and knocked her up.” He grinned maliciously, seeming to savor the expression of shock on Maddy’s face.

  “Didn’t know that, did you? You might think you’re special to him, but in his eyes, you’re just like Alessandria.

  “You’re nothing to him, and you never will be.”

  • • •

  After work, Maddy found herself driving to El Diablo. She didn’t believe that she was nothing to Alex—she knew better than that. She had seen how much she mattered to him. But the fact remained that she now knew that Alex had a daughter, a child he hadn’t told her about.

  She hadn’t been completely open with him herself, but this—well, if he truly cared, this was something he should have told her about.

  Why had he kept such a secret from her?

  As she parked in the large lot, she thought back to the night at the club. He had said that if she shared her demons with him, he would do the same. Had he been telling the truth?

  Maddy felt sick. The situation had been made all the worse for the fact that Massimo had been the one to impart the news. He considered things even now. Maddy hated him for telling her something she hadn’t wanted to hear from him.

  “Miss Stone.” As she’d expected, Declan was waiting in the lobby for her. She’d texted to tell Alex that she was coming over, that they needed to talk.

  She’d planned to ignore him if he’d told her not to come. He hadn’t.

  Silently, Maddy followed Declan into the elevator.

  The big man kept glancing at her, something he normally did his best to avoid.

  When Maddy could ignore it no longer, she sighed and looked him in the eyes. “What is it, Declan?” Though she’d never have believed it if she weren’t seeing it, he shifted uncomfortably and then actually blushed.

  “The boss, he’s been hell on wheels since the other night.” Declan pinned her with a look that told her he thought it was her fault for his master’s bad attitude. “Just go easy on him, would you? He might come across as indestructible, but he’s human, too.”

  • • •

  Alex waited with anticipation for the elevator to arrive at the penthouse.

  He’d been startled to get the text from Maddy. He’d hoped, waiting with bated breath, that she’d decide to take that step, to share everything with him.

  He’d never dreamed it would happen so soon.

  The elevator door pinged and then there she was. She was dressed in torn jeans and a plain blue T-shirt, but to him she always looked lovely.

  “I’m glad you’re here.” The words were simple, but a true expression of how he was feeling. “Why don’t you come in and sit down. We’ll have some wine and talk.”

  Before he could turn, he saw in her body language that something was wrong.

  “What is it?” He stepped toward her, wanting to wrap her in his arms, but the expression on her face told him that would be a bad idea. “Maddy, what’s going on?”

  “Why didn’t you tell me about your daughter?”

  It wasn’t often that Alex found himself taken aback, at a loss for words, but in that moment he felt as if Maddy had hit him in the head with a brick.

  His first thought was of Rae.

  “How did you find out?” He wasn’t ashamed of his little girl—the farthest thing from it. But the way in which she’d been conceived had made him all kinds of wary about women trying to trap him into commitments. He’d die before letting anyone use his daughter to get to him. There was also the issue that he was a very wealthy man and that Rae could be a target to those without scruples because of it.

  He found it best to keep her existence close to his chest.

  “So it is true? He didn’t make it up?” Maddy looked suddenly weary, as she raked her hand through her hair. “Were you ever going to tell me?”

  Alex felt a flash of anger streak through him. This misunderstanding between them took two. “I was going to tell you, as soon as you’d decided to share your mysterious past with me.”

  Maddy’s expression froze, her eyes wide. As always when he brought it up, her expression became tinged with guilt.

  Frustrated, he realized that she hadn’t been coming here with a mind to share, not at all. “How did you find out?” He repeated the question. For the sake of Rae’s safety, he had to know.

  Maddy tucked a strand of hair behind one ear, looking up at him with an expression that was both tired and sad. “Massimo Santorini came to the diner specifically to tell me. I’m not sure why he’s so focused on me. But he was looking to get revenge on you for pulling out of the casino deal.”

  At her words, Alex felt his temper rise. No matter how upset he was with her, the thought of that scum Santorini near Maddy made his blood boil.

  Though Alex had had no idea about Alessandria’s personal life—he’d honored her wishes in that respect—it didn’t make the other man less of a cuckold, at Alex’s hands. He couldn’t completely blame the man for wanting revenge for his loss.

  And the man knew about Alex’s daughter. The idea made Alex shudder, though if he had judged him correctly, the Italian would now consider them even.

  Fisting his hands in his hair, he tugged in an attempt to release some frustration. This sense of maladroitness didn’t happen to him often.

  “In my early twenties, I was worried about my interest in a certain lifestyle. I decided to seek help. I began to see a therapist named Dr. Lydia Tanner.” He ground his teeth together, just thinking about what an easy target he’d been. “I’d just made my first million. I felt alone. She had more power over me than I knew.”

  Maddy regarded him warily. He wondered if she knew that she was holding her locket, protecting her secret.

  “She decided that I would make a better husband than patient. She seduced me, lied about birth control. She wanted a ring.” And though he hadn’t given her that, because of the daughter they shared, she would be in his life forever.

  Alex eyed Maddy. She looked stunned. “That night in the club, I decided that I would tell you, that I could trust you. But I wanted your trust in return.” He eyed her locket, making sure that she saw what he was looking at. “The deal still holds.”

  She looked as if he’d struck her.

  An
ger and frustration washed through him, and he tamped down the urge to kick the wall. Why wouldn’t she just let go? He wouldn’t let her fall. But until she did, they had nothing.

  “I see.” More hurt than he cared to admit, Alex deliberately walled himself off behind a mask of indifference. “In that case, I don’t think we have anything more to say to each other.”

  “You don’t understand!” Her voice was slightly frantic. “You’d be disgusted with me. You’d hate me. I couldn’t stand for you to see me that way.”

  His curiosity was piqued, and he knew that, with a little searching, he could find whatever it was that she hid from him.

  That, however, wasn’t the point. He needed to hear it from her. Even if trust hadn’t been such a necessary, integral part of a Dominant/submissive relationship, ever since Lydia, it had been painfully important to him.

  Without it, there was nothing, at least for him.

  “Maddy, you could never disgust me, no matter what you told me. If you refuse to believe that, there’s nothing left for us.” He heard her harsh intake of breath and braced himself, waiting—hoping—for her to speak.

  Instead he found only silence. His heart hurt.

  He did the only thing he could to save himself—he turned to walk away. “Declan will show you out. Goodbye, Maddy.”

  “Wait!”

  Alex stopped, then slowly turned back around as Maddy spoke.

  “I . . . Just give me some time. An hour. Can you meet me at the club in an hour?”

  Alex didn’t speak, but he did nod before he again walked away.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Maddy entered the club area of In Vino Veritas with her heart in her throat.

  Get it together, Maddy. You can do this. Looking down at her new bustier, which was the color of crimson, and the matching sheer skirt, she felt her stomach do a slow roll.

  This would be so much easier if she knew either way.

  Crossing the room, she sat on one of the plush velvet couches where Elijah had told her that the unattached submissives tended to congregate. Once she’d gotten over the weirdness of the fact that the man had had his hands in several very intimate places on her body, he’d been easy to talk to when she’d called and asked for a favor.

  Looking around at the club that was still fairly empty, she knew that it might very well be too late for her and Alex. Still, unlike her sister, she was among the living, and she’d discovered something that helped her remember that.

  “Madeline.” Looking up with her heart in her throat, Maddy swallowed her disappointment when she saw that the man who had called her name was Elijah, not Alex. She forced a smile to her lips for the sake of the man who’d welcomed her back that night, though he certainly hadn’t been obliged to.

  “He’s a stubborn bastard.” Holding out a hand, he helped Maddy to her feet. “But I think you’ll win in the end. Come with me. Let’s get your wine.”

  Maddy took several slow, deep breaths as she followed Elijah to a back corner of the club. Her pulse beat fast enough with nerves that she felt nauseous, but she fought her way through them.

  Elijah had set the scene exactly as she’d requested. The worst that could happen now was that Alex wouldn’t show up.

  And if he didn’t, she would survive. She’d even come back here, to the club, after a while.

  She couldn’t fool herself into believing that she wouldn’t be devastated.

  “Do you want me to help you into the swing now? Or do you want to wait?” Elijah’s face was serious, but showed no judgment as Maddy searched it.

  “I . . .” The thought of being bound in the swing, of being so exposed while she waited for someone who might never show up, was terrifying.

  It was also the best way to prove that she was ready to trust.

  “Help me in, please.” After a long, hesitant moment, Maddy reached for the sideways zipper on her skirt.

  She didn’t want to hide.

  This was terrifying.

  “Sit on this wide part here.” Catching her by the waist, Elijah settled Maddy’s bottom into the seat of the sex swing. It swayed with her weight, the sensation disconcerting. She wasn’t entirely sure that she liked it, but she remembered Alex’s words.

  My fantasy is you. You, in a sex swing, open to me.

  She looked up at Elijah for courage, trying to ignore the fact that her lower half was covered with nothing more than a red lace G-string.

  “Lean back.” A strap went around her torso, under her breasts. It held her in place and made her feel more secure.

  Then Elijah clasped one of her ankles, lifting it up to his waist and securing it in another band. Her other leg followed, and suddenly she was suspended, the swing swaying slightly back and forth.

  “Oh my God.”

  Elijah chuckled as Maddy tensed with apprehension.

  “This is . . .”

  “Incredibly sexy.” The man looked her up and down, and Maddy thought she caught a hint of wistfulness in his gaze. It was gone before she could be sure.

  “The wine is right here. I’ll have a dungeon monitor keep an eye out to make sure that no one bothers you who shouldn’t.” Elijah’s eyes flickered over the swells of Maddy’s breasts, the shadows visible beneath the sheer lace of her thong.

  “If he says no to this, to you, then he’s an absolute idiot.” Nodding, Elijah walked away, leaving Maddy as alone as she could be in a public club, her legs splayed and vulnerable.

  Minutes passed. To Maddy, it felt like hours. Other club members passed by, stopping to admire her, to comment on how pretty her cunt was, her breasts.

  After Alex’s very public claiming of her, none of them did more than that.

  As the time crawled by, Maddy checked out of her own head. Leaning back, she closed her eyes and simply let herself drift, aware of nothing outside of her own body.

  She had no idea how much time had passed when suddenly firm hands clasped her inner thighs.

  She jolted, the swing swaying beneath her as she struggled to sit up and couldn’t because of the way she was positioned in the swing.

  “Alex.” Relief threatened to drown her. He didn’t take her into his arms like she wished he would, but still, he was here.

  That had to mean something.

  “What is this, Madeline?”

  She winced as he used her full name, something he hadn’t done since they’d first met. Recalling how he’d opened himself to her and how she’d thrown his trust back in his face, she licked dry lips.

  She would have to work for it. That was fine. He was worth it.

  Reaching behind her neck, she undid the clasp of the locket she always wore. With trembling fingers, she opened it, then handed it to Alex.

  Surprise flickered over his face, but he still said nothing.

  “This is a picture of my sister, Erin.” She studied the sunny blonde in the photo at the same time Alex did and found that grief still ripped at her heart.

  It always would; she understood that now.

  But Erin would have been angry as all hell to find out that for the last two years her sister had all but stopped living along with her.

  “Two years ago, the two of us were in a car accident. We were both talking; we weren’t paying attention. We crashed, and I walked away with some cuts and bruises.”

  A hot tear trickled down her cheek, infuriating her. She was trying so hard to be strong, but damn it, it still hurt. “Erin died in the hospital the next day, from head trauma. She had a fiancé. They were supposed to get married that summer.”

  Alex’s fist closed over the locket, hiding it from her view as Maddy shuddered.

  “I was the one driving. It was my responsibility. I’ve carried that guilt around with me for the last year. I’ve tried so hard to run, but no matter what I do, it stays.” Though she was terrified that she’d see disgust on his face, Maddy forced herself to look into Alex’s eyes. “It’s my fault. I don’t tell anyone because I can’t handle their disgust on to
p of what I already feel for myself.”

  Alex was silent for a long moment—too long, Maddy thought. Then he reached for her legs, tracing his fingers over the silvery scars that the accident had left.

  She squirmed in the swing, suddenly desperate to cover herself, to hide from that penetrating gaze.

  She cried out when, reaching above their heads, Alex twisted the swing so that she faced away from him. With a cupped palm, he spanked the curve of her ass, slow and deliberate, though she could hear his harsh breath and knew that he was holding back.

  One, two . . . nineteen, twenty. Maddy’s own breath shuddered out of her lungs when, finally, Alex turned the swing back around and glared down at her, fury on his face.

  “I should repeat that a hundred more times for what you’ve put me through.”

  Maddy tried to catch her breath, the air rasping in and out of her lungs. Her ass was on fire, her skin too tight for her body.

  “Don’t you understand yet, Maddy? I could never feel disgust for you. I love you.”

  Her mouth fell open as he ground his teeth in frustration. “You . . . but you . . .” Maddy’s mind whirled. “You left me!”

  “I’ve told you from the beginning what I needed, what I wanted. I don’t play at dominance, Maddy. I need your submission, and that means that I need your trust.”

  Shame worked its way through the cautious joy as Alex continued to scowl, his temper up.

  “Is it too late?” She heard the hope in her own words and hoped that he did, too. She didn’t know if she were truly capable of submitting to him as deeply as he needed, but she knew that she wanted, needed to try.

  “That depends on you.” Releasing the swing and stepping back, Alex raked a hand through the dark tangles of his hair. “Damn it, if ever I needed a drink, it’s now.”

  Her own mouth felt like cotton, so Maddy gestured to the bottle of wine that she’d requested from Elijah.

  “I bought some wine, in case . . . in case.” She felt so silly, having this conversation while her legs were open wide in a display for him. “Mouton Rothschild, Bordeaux Red—1943 was an excellent vintage.”

 

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