Heartless

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Heartless Page 19

by Vanessa Marie


  "Jules went to get some air," he said, to Callie.

  "Okay."

  He turned to walk back over to the corner of the room.

  "Sam, sit down for a minute," Callie said.

  He wasn't sure what to expect. So he didn't say anything? He sat and waited for her to speak.

  "I don't know what's going to happen. The fact you have stayed this entire time proves to me that you care about her. So when it comes time she can have people back, I will make sure you get to see her. After that, I don't know."

  "Thank you."

  She patted his knee and then took a sip of her tea. As he walked back over to his seat, he let himself breathe again. Jules came back and sat by his mom. Sarah had fallen asleep and Joe seemed like he was somewhere else, but he couldn't blame the guy. The doors opened and Dr. Brown came out with the Doctor that had spoke to them before.

  "So?" Joe looked at him like he was scared to death.

  "She's stable, we repaired the bleed and she's doing as well as can be expected. We had to give her four units of blood and I'm going to keep her sedated and intubated for the next twenty four hours. We're going to monitor her close until we're out of the woods."

  "Thanks Doc," Joe said, with what seemed like a big sigh of relief. Sam closed his eyes and prayed another guardian angel was watching over as she laid in recovery, fighting.

  ♥♥♥♥♥

  Callie walked away on her phone after the doctor filled them in. Sam assumed she was calling work or something. He leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. Joe startled him when he spoke.

  "So I'm a little sketchy on the details of how you know Charlie. Are you the friend she's been spending so much time with?" Joe looked at him with a straight face but Sam couldn't read him.

  "It's complicated." was the only thing he could think to say.

  "Son, with my daughter, everything is complicated. Obviously Callie and Jules know about you. Charlie hasn't said much to me about you, but I'm not really home a lot."

  "Yeah, I met Callie the first time I met Charlie and I met Jules a while before that."

  Sam wasn't lying to him, he just wasn't going to share the entire truth with him. It was a lie by omission but he was already beat up emotionally, he didn't want to be physically.

  "You don't look like a teenager, How old are you exactly?"

  "Twenty-four"

  Joe sighed and took a sip of his coffee.

  "Look, I don't want to give you the third degree. I know Charlie doesn't go for guys her own age. How could she? She has been through so much in her life, that she doesn't exactly get along with people her own age. It means a lot and says a lot about your character that you've been here this whole time. Just do me a favor and treat her well. If I find out you don't, I will be forced to kill you," Joe said, with a straight face. Sam laughed and nodded but had a feeling he wasn't kidding, not really.

  "I understand and I will."

  "Good boy." Joe patted Sam's thigh before he stood and walked away.

  ♥♥♥♥♥

  Charlie woke to an all too familiar sound — beep..beep...beep...beep..beep... She knew the sound of that beep. She fucking hated that beep and it could only mean one thing. Either she died again or she was about to. She slowly opened her eyes and saw Callie sitting next to her bed. Callie saw her open her eyes and she smiled as she squeezed Charlie's hand. Not sure if she squeezed it back, everything went black.

  Beep...beep...beep...beep...beep... Muffled voices surrounded her but her eye lids were too heavy to lift. The longer she laid there, the more she could understand but responding wasn't really an option yet. She swallowed and her throat was raw, like someone had dumped a gallon of salt down it. The more she swallowed, the worse it felt. Joe's voice was becoming more clear and she needed to let him know she could hear him.

  "Come on, Charles, open your eyes, baby."

  Fighting against her heavy lids, she blinked a few times and did her best to keep them open as long as she could. Joe gave her his best smile but his worry lines on his forehead gave him away.

  Beep...beep...beep...beep...beep... Someone was holding her hand when she woke up but didn't know who it was. As she laid there, her body radiated with pain and she felt like she was going to be sick. Keeping her eyes open was a losing battle but she wanted whoever was there with her to know she was awake. If she squeezed their hand and they squeezed back, they'd know she was still in there.

  Her squeeze must not have been enough, they didn't respond. They just continued to rub against the back of her knuckles. There was only one person that rubbed her hand like that — Sam. She forced her eyes open. Fighting like hell against the weight of her lids, she just wanted to catch a glimpse of his face. His head was laying across his arm on her bed and he had no idea she was awake.

  Each time she thought about mortality, it always put everything into prospective for her. Her life wasn't about her. It was about how she impacted the people she loved. And she loved Sam completely.

  It didn't matter how much it was going to hurt, how much pain she was going to endure to try to speak. Even if it was only a few words. She was willing to push through it for him.

  "Hi," she croaked, her throat was raw and burned, a feeling that was all too familiar to her.

  His head shot up, watching her with tears in his eyes. "Hi."

  Sam lifted her knuckles to his lips for a soft kiss.

  He looked tired and scared. She wondered how long he'd been there and how long she'd been there for that matter.

  "I'm all right," she tried to reassure him but knew it wouldn't help.

  "Not yet you aren't babe, but you will be." he lifted her knuckles to his lips again and stood stretching his back.

  Oh my God, Adidas shirt, Hah.

  Wincing, she struggled to breathe. Her chest was in excruciating pain and it made her sick to her stomach. Bile burned her already raw throat and she swallowed hard but her mouth was still dry.

  Sam dropped to his knees beside the bed. "What's wrong? I'll get the nurse."

  She shook her head no and held her finger up to him to wait. The last thing she wanted to do was scare him like she just did. Forcing the pain down as much as she could bare, she whispered, "Nice shirt."

  "I thought you might like that." He gave her his best attempt at a smile as he sat on the chair next to her bed.

  All she wanted was to have a long conversation about meaningless shit, but the more she tried to talk, the more intolerable the pain got.

  Sweat poured down the back of her gown and she was afraid to move. She needed to call her nurse as the bile was making itself known again. It wasn't going to be kept at bay for much longer.

  Charlie wanted to tell him not to be afraid. Even though she was the one the hospital bed. Weak, disheveled, and in the worst kind of pain anyone could experience. All she wanted to do was comfort him. Let him know she would recover and things would go back to the way they were before. She was in love with him and he was her version of heaven, no matter what their situation was.

  Guilt and relief washed over her as her nurse walked in. Sam kissed her on the forehead.

  "Sir, your time is up," her nurse said.

  "This isn't goodbye is it?" Charlie asked, her voice hoarse. Afraid he was going to leave her forever.

  Sam leaned over her, and kissed just below her ear. "Nothing can keep me from you. I love you, Charlie. I'll see you very soon, babe."

  "Sir, now."

  He kissed the inside of her palm and walked slowly to her door. Turning back to look over his shoulder at her, he smiled. Her nurse followed her gaze at him and shouted, "Get." as he disappeared into the hall.

  That was the first time Sam had told her that he loved her. But she didn't have time to savor the moment as violent dry heaves ripped through her, followed by the bile she was trying to keep down. Her chest bone popped with each heave and hot tears rolled down her face from the earth shattering pain.

  "It's okay, baby. I'v
e got you. I can use some help in here." Her nurse called out. And everything went black.

  Beep.....Beep....Beep....Beep....Beep.. Charlie's body was stiff, she attempted to move her position but it was a huge mistake as soon as she tried. Oh shit, she definitely knew not to do that again. Whose voice was that? She could hear people talking but didn't recognize the voices. Screw it, it was too much effort to open her eyes and she figured she was pumped full of drugs. Her eye lids felt like they weighed a metric ton and her hand, no one was holding her hand. Why is no one holding my hand? Someone is always holding my hand, am I alone? She felt panic rise inside her but still couldn't open her eyes, so she moved her fingers to check and no one was there. Where are they?

  Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep.. Beep.. Charlie blinked a few times when she woke up. She wasn't sure where she was. The light was dim and when her eyes finally adjusted she looked to her left and saw Jules uncomfortably draped across a chair next to her bed. Her dad and Callie were both standing in the doorway talking to a couple of doctors. They must have noticed her blinking her eyes open because they all walked toward her.

  "Charlotte honey," Callie cooed as she scooped Charlie's hand into hers. She'd never paid much attention to how much she liked her hand being held until then.

  "Hi," Charlie croaked out as she noticed her throat was still raw and then deja vu washed over her as he stepped forward and put his hand on her thigh.

  "Hey, Charles."

  "Hey, Daddy." She knew he needed to hear her call him that right now, it always made him smile. He gave her a weak smile, but she figured that was the best he could do under the circumstances.

  Her Doctor sat on the edge of her bed.

  "Do you know what happened, Charlie?"

  "I assume I flopped and you added new parts?"

  Dr. Brown, Callie and Joe all laughed.

  "Yup, she's fine, sarcasm is still in tact," Joe said and shook his head.

  "I can honestly say you had me worried this time, kid," Dr. Brown admitted.

  She ignored him, she liked him a lot because he always shot straight from the hip but she didn't feel like hearing it.

  "You didn't screw up any of my tattoos did you?"

  "No, they're safe, however we did have to crack your chest cavity back open, twice," he said with empathy in his voice.

  "That explains a lot. So that makes me a V.I.P in the zipper club?" She asked, with a smirk.

  "Well if thats the case, I'm a V.I.P too." he pulled the neck of his scrubs down to show an open heart scar. Charlie had no idea her surgeon was also a cardiac patient. He'd done a few of her surgeries over the years. It made sense why he always told her the truth and didn't sugarcoat it. He knew what it was like to be a patient, something most doctors knew nothing about.

  "Why didn't you tell me before?"

  "It wasn't important then."

  "I'm sorry but what exactly is the zipper club?" Callie asked.

  Dr. Brown turned to her, "If you've had open heart surgery, they call it the zipper club, your scar looks like a large zipper running down your chest."

  "Well that's awfully morbid."

  Charlie rolled her eyes at Callie and changed the subject.

  "So when can I blow this Popsicle stand then?"

  "Well if you weren't such a pain in my ass, you would be on your way out in a day or two...but because you are well, you...at the very least, I want you in your chair. I'd like you up and walking by tomorrow. If you can do that without causing any other shenanigans, I'll let you move out of this unit and upstairs. Then we'll see how you're healing and go from there."

  "Well that just sounds like sunshine and fucking rainbows." Charlie groaned.

  "Better than Grimm Reapers and caskets, no?" Dr. Brown raised his brow.

  Charlie laughed but it didn't look like Callie was too amused.

  "Now was that really appropriate?" She scowled.

  Dr. Brown gave her a sideways glance like he was in trouble and checked her heart.

  "I'll check in on you a bit later." He left without another word.

  "Damn, Mom you made the good doc cry." Jules scooted his chair across the floor closer to her bed. It made the most God awful screech, it was worse than nails on a chalkboard. He gave a dumb grin as everyone glared at him. Callie and Joe walked out into the hall to talk to her nurse.

  "Hey Asshole." She was so happy to see him.

  "Hey Slut."

  "How long have I been in here?" Charlie yawned, and even that hurt.

  "A few days."

  "How long have you been here?"

  "A few days minus a shower here and there."

  "Are they okay?" She gestured her head toward their parents

  "Yeah, they were pretty scared but they're good now."

  "What about you?"

  "Honestly, that was the second time in my life I thought I'd lost you forever. This time was much worse though."

  "Worse than before?"

  "Yeah this time I had sound effects, other than hearing myself scream... The sounds of you flat lining will haunt me forever." He shuddered and looked upset.

  "I'm sorry, dude, I should have said something that morning and told you I didn't feel well."

  "Well, I'm kinda glad you didn't. 'Cuz you would have been at home alone and it still would have happened and there would have been no one there to save you."

  "So are you trying to say you saved me?"

  "Yeah pretty much, I saved you single handedly." He shifted in his seat and laughed.

  "So, I guess that means I owe you one?"

  "Yup, I guess you do."

  She flexed her hands and immediately thought of Sam.

  "What about Sam?" She wasn't sure if him in her room, the shirt or the I love you, was a memory or a dream?

  "He was here."

  "Where is he now?"

  Jules shrugged and had a strange look on his face. Charlie felt her heart sink. She tried to remember the end of their conversation after he told her he loved her. It felt like a big fog but she thought they had agreed to say goodbye for now? She wasn't sure.

  "Don't freak. He left earlier, but he's been here the whole time."

  "Julian, what are you not telling me?" She sensed he was holding something back.

  "I think your dad talked to him."

  "What?"

  "He's not dead, so it must be okay."

  "You think?" She could feel the pain meds kick in and her eye lids started to feel heavy again before she could ask him about it.

  "I'm tired," she groaned, and tried to fight sleep.

  "Kay, get some sleep then. This chair sucks, I'm coming on board."

  "Mmhmm," she mumbled, as she tried to keep her eyes open. The last thing she heard was Callie yelling "Julian, get off her bed right now."

  ♥♥♥♥♥

  After five days, Charlie was moved out of the ICU and into another room. It took what felt like forever to get everyone to leave. She thought it was nice they wanted to visit but it was like she had to entertain them, when she'd would much rather sleep. Her favorite nurse, Bernice was on call that night and she was thrilled. She was really laid back and was another one that shot from the hip, which Charlie liked.

  Bernice walked in pushing her cart."Hey kiddo, it's time for me to go all vampire on you and take some vitals, too." Charlie looked at all of the vials Bernice had in her hand.

  "Holy Hell, are you gonna leave any blood for me?"

  "Maybe a few drops."

  "Shit, in that case I choose Eric Northman to take my blood."

  "Oh honey, in that case, me too."

  They both laughed as she slid the needle into Charlie's arm. Needles didn't bother her one bit and Bernice had the most gentle touch.

  "Hey kid, how we feelin'?" The doctor asked as he walked in the room and sat down.

  Bernice looked down at her watch. "Doc what are you still doing here at this hour. You do realize it's after nine right?"

  "Tying up some loose ends and I had to ch
eck on my favorite patient before I left."

  "Oh I'm your fav, eh?"

  "Meh, sorry I misspoke, I saw my favorite before I came in here," he said with a wicked grin.

  "Then go back to her room, no one invited you here," Bernice quipped. She and Charlie burst out into laughter as they lightly fist bumped one another. Her chest was killing her but it was worth it.

  "I see how it is. I don't have to take this abuse." He laughed.

  Bernice finished taking Charlie's blood and vitals. She moved her cart out of the way for the doctor and he walked toward Charlie.

  "Did you want me to leave?"

  "No, Bernie, not yet."

  "I want to check your incision, do me a favor and untie your gown and pull it open for me."

  Charlie wanted to make a sarcastic remark about her boobs but thought better of it. She didn't want to embarrass the good doc, besides her nurse would have yelled at her. She untied her gown and pulled it apart, she laid it open enough he could check her but her nipples were still covered. He pulled the tape and gauze back and it looked like he checked her incision carefully. He had a strange look on his face.

  "What's wrong?" she asked reading his lack of a poker face.

  "Hmm, it's just not healing as fast as I'd hoped. But when we had to open you the second time, I had a feeling this would happen."

  He redressed the wound with supplies Bernice handed him.

  "So, no one has really told me what happened this time."

  "Well, thats part of the reason I wanted to come see you tonight. Your dad and Callie...tend to get emotional and you're of age now— So I wanted to talk to you first."

  "About?"

  "I don't think you know how close you were to dying this time. I know you were told you coded a couple times, but if you had been alone, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

  Charlie felt a chill rip through her body and guessed she had always known that, but it was the first time someone had said it aloud.

  "Your heart can't take much more, kid, and there's not much left I can do to fix it at this point. I want to put you on the transplant list."

 

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