by Jessica Hart
'Making people laugh is,' said Josh. 'You're a lot more useful than most people here, but if it comes to it, I'll make sure you don't get the short straw.'
'Thank you.' Bella snuggled into a more comfortable position with her arm across his chest. 'Anyway, I get the feeling that awarding the honour of first in the pot to Bryn would be a popular move!'
Josh laughed softly. 'He's just scared like rest of us.'
'You weren't scared,' said Bella.
'Yes, I was.'
Josh thought about how terrified he had been when she had slipped out of his sight under the waves and wished he could tell her how essential she was to him. Unable to resist the temptation, he put his other arm around her and held her close into him. They might not be very dry or very warm or very comfortable, but at least she was here and she was safe.
The storm passed as suddenly as it had hit them. One minute the darkness was filled with the sound of the savage wind and lashing rain and the next there was a silence so deafening that for a moment none of those awake could actually believe that the awesome noise had stopped. There was just the slow drip, drip of the palm leaves and the trickle of left-over water running off the awning.
Bella heard it stop too, and felt guilty for being the only one to experience a pang of regret. The storm had at least given her a chance to he in Josh's arms. Now that it was over, there was no excuse not to go back to reality, to being careful, to remembering that they were friends, not lovers.
It was too dark to do anything about the fact that the storm had passed, so one by one they all drifted off to sleep again. Bella was horribly stiff when she woke the next morning, and her foot throbbed painfully. She told herself that it must be a good sign that she could feel it now, but couldn't help wishing that it would go back to being numb. She felt awful, damp and dirty in a way she had been too tired to feel the night before.
Limping outside, she found most of the party grouped anxiously around the boat. Josh and Elvis were peering into the depths of the engine and there seemed to be a lot of tinkering going on.
'They can't start the engine,' Cassandra whispered to Bella. 'Just as well we didn't eat all those sandwiches. Do you think Josh really knows how to spear a fish?' she asked hopefully.
'I'm not sure about that. He's usually quite good on engines, though.'
The words were barely out of Bella's mouth before a cheer went up as the engine spluttered into life and Josh looked up with a grin that told Bella just how worried he had been.
'OK!' he said, clapping Elvis on the back. 'Let's finish off those sandwiches and then let's go!'
Although the centre of the storm had moved on, it had left behind a sullen sea and dreary blanket of grey clouds that eked a constant drizzle that was almost more depressing than the rain had been. It wasn't cold, but everyone was tired and sick of being wet, and very nervous in case the boat broke down again, so after the first euphoria of leaving the island, it was a silent journey.
Aisling and Bryn were pointedly not talking to each other, and the atmosphere was so oppressive that the sight of the rescue boat at last came as even more of a relief than anyone had anticipated. They were still a couple of hours from the jetty, and transferred eagerly onto the faster boat, except Josh, who volunteered to stay on the boat with Elvis to talk to the authorities and make sure he didn't get blamed.
'We'll follow you in,' he said.
As the rescue boat sped away, Bella looked back at him, sitting calmly beside the boy in the tattered remains of his shirt and her heart turned over with love for him.
With its powerful engine, it was no time at all before the rescue boat had them back at the hotel, receiving the exclamations and commiserations of the others. The hotel looked as if it had received a fair battering from the storm itself, but a single night sleeping on the wet sand had been enough to make the rooms seem so luxurious as to feel faintly surreal.
A doctor, not looking remotely like George Clooney and not even wearing a white coat, was summoned to stitch up Bella's foot and give her a jab. The foot was swollen and very painful by then, and Bella couldn't help wishing like a baby that Josh was with her to hold her hand. Really, she had to stop being so pathetic!
At least she had had a shower, and not just any shower. Indisputably the best shower of her life. Bella washed her hair three times to get rid of the salt and the sand and, when at last she felt clean and dry, she lay on the bed to wait for Josh.
It had started to rain heavily again by the time Josh finally appeared. There was no wind this time, and Bella could see the rain falling in a steady downpour beyond the veranda and hear it drumming loudly on the roof above her head. She had been dozing, and the room was so dark that she switched on the bedside lamp to squint at her watch, amazed to see that it was late afternoon still and there was a good hour until dusk.
The sound of Josh's key in the door, made her struggle up onto the pillows and stretch luxuriously. 'You've been ages,' she said. 'Is everything OK?'
'They wanted to give Elvis a hard time for taking the boat out at all, poor kid,' said Josh, sitting down on the edge of her bed. 'I think I persuaded them that it wasn't his fault.'
She had been waiting and waiting for him to come, and now he was there, sitting solid and safe beside her, and she felt suddenly shy again. 'What happened to your shirt?' she asked, to stop herself flinging her arms around him and burrowing into his strong, sure body.
'I think they felt it was rather indecent, so someone gave me this one when they let us have a shower.' He plucked at the shirt, a luridly coloured affair with a florid pattern. 'Do you like it?'
'To be honest, I wouldn't have said that it was quite yow.'
Josh's smile gleamed in the dim light and their eyes met and held for a moment before they both looked away.
It couldn't be said that there was a silence with the rain crashing down on the roof, but there was a funny, breathless little pause that set Bella's heart slamming slowly and painfully against her ribs. At least Josh wouldn't be able to hear it with the racket the rain was making.
'How's the foot?' he asked after a moment.
'Sore.' Bella lifted her foot slightly to show him. 'They stitched me up and gave me a new bandage. I don't think they thought much of your other shirt either.'
Josh took her foot and held it gently in his hand. 'I shouldn't have let you help move the boat around,' he said. 'I should have insisted one of the other men came with me and to hell with what Bryn thought. It was too dangerous for you to be out there.'
'If it was too dangerous for me, it was too dangerous for you,' she pointed out. 'Anyway, I only cut my foot. It's not as if I was bitten by a shark or got swept out to sea.'
'You could have drowned,' said Josh, refusing to be comforted. 'Last night you said that I wasn't scared, but I was. When I saw you slip and disappear under that boat, I was absolutely terrified.'
His hand had moved almost absently up to Bella's ankle. She swallowed. 'I knew you'd save me.'
She hesitated, torn between giving in to the sheer tantalising pleasure of his hand smoothing up her leg and the need to tell him how she felt. 'You saved all of us,' she said. 'I don't know if we would have survived without you. I was so proud of you, Josh. The rest of us went to pieces at the first hint of danger, but you knew exactly what to do.'
She smiled waveringly. 'I understand why people go off on expeditions with you now.'
Josh's hand had reached her knee. 'I'd have you as my second-in-command any day,' he said.
'But I was useless! I didn't know what to do.'
'Yes, you did. You knew instinctively that when things get difficult you need someone who can defuse the tension, someone who can make people laugh in spite of everything, someone who can get on with everybody. Someone like you, in fact.' His hand was warm against her flesh. 'I was thinking that I should really take you on expedition one day. Do you think you'd like that?'
'That depends on whether I could take my hair-dryer or not,' said
Bella a little breathlessly. She was excruciatingly aware of the touch of his hand on her skin, but it was hard to tell whether Josh even realised what he was doing.
'You could take it,' he allowed. 'Whether you would find anywhere to plug it in is another matter.'
Any further and his hand would be under her skirt. 'I think I'd have to take it as a matter of principle.' Bella was striving desperately to keep the conversation light, but she was having a lot of trouble breathing. 'And my best shoes, of course.'
'I'm afraid as expedition leader I'd have to draw the line at your shoes,' said Josh with mock solemnity. 'All high heels would have to be left behind. I'd need to maintain some kind of authority over my team.'
'Does that mean I'd have to call you "sir"?'
'Only in private.'
Unable to keep a straight face any longer, they both started to laugh, but the moment they made the mistake of looking at each other, their laughter died abruptly.
'I couldn't bear it when I thought I might lose you,' said Josh in a low voice. 'You're my best friend.'
'And you're mine.'
'Bella-' He stopped, his hand tightening against her leg as the air shortened between them.
'Yes?' Bella's heart was beating so hard that she could hardly breathe.
Josh couldn't put what he wanted to say into words. He just knew what he wanted to do. Very slowly, he leant towards her, giving her the chance to push him away, to make a joke, and break the moment which had them both in its spell.
But she didn't. She just sat there, her eyes dark with a desire that drew him irresistibly closer.
He stopped a fraction of a breath away from her mouth, conscious that this was the moment of no return. They looked deep into each other's eyes, and in the end it was Bella who closed the gap, touching her lips with his.
It wasn't too late. One part of Josh's mind was very clear about that. He could draw back and leave it at a brief kiss that they could both pretend had only ever been friendly. He even knew that was what he should do.
But he didn't want to. Her response had been so piercingly sweet that he couldn't bring himself to stop, not now.
So he kissed her, the way he had been wanting to kiss her for so long, and it was as if their lips belonged together. Bella's hands slid up his shoulders to wind around his neck, and she was kissing him back, giving kiss for kiss as they sank down together on the bed.
Lost in the heady scent of her, Josh tangled his fingers luxuriously in her silky hair. He raised himself slightly to smooth the hair from her face, and his heart turned over as she smiled up at him.
'Best friends don't do this,' he said softly.
'Don't they?'
'Not normally.'
'This isn't a normal time,' said Bella, running her hands lovingly over his back. 'We survived a storm at sea, and now nothing seems normal. We can worry about what friends do when we know what normal is again.'
'It might be too late then,' warned Josh, but his touch belied the caution in his words, and Bella pulled him back down towards her.
'I know,' she murmured against his mouth, 'but let's not think about it now. Let's not think at all.'
* * *
Much later, as they lay softly together, Josh rubbed his hand tenderly up and down Bella's arm. He felt extraordinary. It had never been like that before, but mixed with the heart-swelling feeling of peace and absolute rightness was a tinge of regret.
They had been right to decide all those years ago that they would stick with being friends, because now it would never be the same again. From now on he would never be able to look at Bella and not remember this tropical afternoon, with the rain crashing on the roof and the rattle of the air-conditioner, and her warmth and her sweetness and the fire that had consumed them both.
How were they going to go back to being friends now? This isn't a normal time, she had said, and she was right. He mustn't assume that this meant more to Bella than the classic response to surviving a crisis. However much he might want it to happen, she wasn't going to have suddenly forgotten how she felt about Will. Josh told himself that he had to accept that and find some way of staying friends without her feeling awkward or embarrassed or having to pretend something she didn't feel.
Outside, the tropical night had fallen without either him or Bella noticing. The downpour had stopped abruptly at some point, too, and now the insects were resuming their chorus of rasping and whining and clicking, punctuated only by the steady drip of rainwater from the veranda roof.
'It's just as well we don't get out of dangerous situations very often,' he said.
Pressed into his side, with her leg entangled with his and her arm over his chest, Bella was feeling utterly content, replete down to her fingertips and toes, and half-surprised to find that her body wasn't glowing with satisfaction in the dark.
She didn't want this moment to end, but Josh's wry comment was bringing reality seeping back. It might feel as if everything had changed, but nothing had really. In theory, they were both free agents, but it might not feel that way to Josh. There was Aisling to think about, and although Bella knew there was nothing between her and Will, that wasn't what she had told Josh.
Now was not the time to tell Josh that she loved him, not Will. He would think that she was just saying it because that was the kind of thing women said when they slept with you.
But perhaps she would be able to tell him when they got home, Bella told herself hopefully. Surely he couldn't have made love to her like that if he was still bound up in Aisling? Bella could think of plenty of ex-boyfriends who were more than capable of separating sex from emotion, but she didn't think that Josh was like that.
On the other hand, he was a man, she remembered, confidence fading rapidly. She was so used to thinking of him as a friend that it was easy to forget that.
No, she wasn't going to spoil this moment by going all intense and emotional on him, Bella decided. Much better to show him that she wasn't going to put any pressure on him. Let him go home and return to normal. He needed to decide for himself that Aisling wasn't what he wanted and then perhaps she could tell him how she felt.
In the meantime, she would treat things lightly. 'Is this how you always react after a crisis on expedition?' she asked.
'I wouldn't say that,' said Josh dryly, 'but sex is a common human reaction to a disaster.'
'We weren't part of a disaster, though.'
'We were lucky,' he said soberly. 'Things were pretty touch-and-go for a while yesterday.' His arm tightened around her as he remembered how close he had come to losing her. 'If we hadn't made the island when we did, I'm not sure how long we could have kept that boat afloat.'
He hesitated. 'Is this going to change things for us, Bella?'
'You mean being friends?'
'Yes. I don't want it to affect our friendship.'
'Nor do I,' said Bella, unable to resist the temptation of smoothing her hand over his chest in a way that a mere friend would never do. 'I don't think it has to, not if we don't let it. Like you say,' she went on, proud of her casual tone, 'we were both reacting to a crisis. It might be different for you, but that was the closest brush to danger I've ever had. It's been a strange experience, and it still doesn't feel quite real. And if it feels like that here, it's going to seem even more like a dream when we get home. Perhaps we should think about it like that.'
It would seem like a dream, Josh thought. 'You think we should pretend it never happened?'
Bella wasn't sure that she would be able to do that. 'I meant more that this is like time out of time,' she said, struggling to find the words to explain. 'The usual rules don't apply.'
From her comfortable position nestled against his shoulder, Bella couldn't see Josh's face, but she could practically feel him lifting an eyebrow. 'The usual rules?' he echoed. 'What are they?'
'That we're friends, good friends, and being friends is important for both of us, and it's not something we confuse with…with this.'
'With sex?
'
'Exactly,' said Bella, who had begun to flounder. 'We're going home tomorrow anyway. Then it'll be back to reality, and we'll go back to being just friends, and tonight will just be something that happened, and was wonderful, but doesn't have any connection with the way we are at home.'
She lifted her head slightly to look at him anxiously. 'Does that make sense?'
'I think so,' said Josh. 'Everything will be different tomorrow.'
'It's not tomorrow yet,' said Bella, letting her fingers drift suggestively.
'That's true.' Josh shifted so that she lay beneath him, and kissed the curve of her shoulder. 'Are you thinking we should make the most of tonight while it still seems quite real?'
His hand traced her contours, fingering lovingly on the curve of her hip, and Bella arched with a shiver of pleasure as she felt him smile against her skin.
'I think perhaps we should,' she agreed breathlessly and wrapped her arms around him to pull him closer.
CHAPTER TEN
'Are you hungry?'
'Starving,' said Bella, and as if to underline the point her stomach let out an embarrassingly loud gurgle.
Josh laughed and patted her tummy. 'It sounds like it. Shall I go and see if I can find something to eat?'
Bella stretched across him to peer at the illuminated alarm clock by the bed. 'We've missed dinner. Pity there's no room service here.'
'The kitchens will still be open,' said Josh, getting out of bed and searching on the floor for his trousers. 'Having survived a near shipwreck, I can't let you succumb to starvation.'
He was gone for what seemed like ages, but Bella knew that he wouldn't come back empty-handed. Josh was nothing if not resourceful. When he did finally appear, he was carrying a tray laden with freshly cooked fish and steaming vegetables, all steaming hot, as well as two ice-cold beers.