by Eden Summers
No, no, no. Gossip was the last thing she needed, especially if the topic involved Dean. “Ange, I—”
Her friend spoke over her in a hushed voice. “You should have seen it. Dean came storming into the office like a warrior set on destruction. He slammed the shit out of his dad’s door, then proceeded to yell nonstop. All about you. When the room finally fell silent we thought he may have offed his dad. You know, done the whole stab-him-with-his-own-letter-opener scene. Then he walked back out, slammed the door again and left, never to return. I still haven’t seen him.”
This was the exact reason she wanted to keep the conversation short. A tiny ounce of unwelcome appreciation nosed its way into her mind. She had come too far over the past few days to allow herself to fall back into her stupor.
“Ange, I’ve gotta go. If you don’t want to drive over on the weekend let me know and I’ll come over and pick up the box. Just message me on what you decide.”
“Wait. There’s more—”
“Thanks for everything.” Before Angela could reply Beth disconnected the call.
Placing the cell phone down on the kitchen counter she went into the living room to distract herself with the television.
There would be no reruns of the conversation. She would keep herself occupied with daytime TV and make sure no more thoughts were made about her old job or the people who worked there.
Nope, not one thought would run free.
Not one single goddamn thought.
Chapter 15
“What do you want for dinner?” Dean asked his sister while he drove out of the airport parking lot toward his apartment. Megan had decided to fly to Melbourne with him, taking extra time off work to relax and rejuvenate.
“Let’s go to a bar or restaurant near the Docklands. That way I can walk back to the apartment when I’m tired, and you can carry on drinking until you hit your happy place…just like every other night this week.” She finished the sentence in a mumble.
He let out a breath of a laugh. With a few carefully placed words his sister clearly expressed her feelings about his current behavior.
“Okay, little sis, I heard your warning loud and clear.”
If only she knew of the destruction he kept hidden. He was a wreck. Lack of sleep, too much alcohol, and an unrelenting ache in his chest had morphed him into one grumpy SOB.
He’d spent the last five days trying to console his sister. Instead she turned out to be the one consoling him.
The first night he arrived at her house, he drowned his sorrows a little too heavily and ended up confiding in his sister, pouring his heart out until he passed out cold.
In response Megan took it upon herself to take care of him. In any other situation he would have told her to mind her own business, but she needed a distraction from her own pain and he was willing to be that distraction.
He already knew his sister couldn’t help his situation with Beth. Megan was an angel, not a fucking magician. She couldn’t make the past disappear. Beth wouldn’t forgive him easily…if ever, and she wouldn’t return to her position at Sutherland & Son either. Not even after his father stood down as managing director on Monday. But he would humor Megan for a while.
After they arrived at his apartment and unpacked their bags, they made the short walk to the Dock & Grill, right on the water at Central Pier. The atmosphere was quiet for a Friday night and gave them a chance to catch up on each other’s lives since Megan had moved to Sydney.
“So, what are you going to do about Beth?”
Hearing her name in a soft, somber tone made his mouth dry. Taking the time to lift the last bite of steak to his mouth he chewed, pausing before he answered. “Not much I can do. I could offer her job back, but she wouldn’t take it. She’s too proud and independent.” He shrugged, trying to act blasé when he felt anything but. “And when she won’t give me a chance to explain, there’s nothing I can do. The best thing for me is to move on.”
“But you’re home now. You can go to her, speak to her face-to-face. Make her listen. She’s worth the extra effort, isn’t she?”
Yes, he could go to her, but he’d had enough time to realize Beth deserved better. He’d known all along, and the situation with his father only cemented the conclusion. He now needed to take a step back and let her go. It wouldn’t be easy. He still pictured her face in his mind every second of the day. Her soft lips, the way her eyes crinkled when she smiled, how her cheeks flushed the sweetest shade of pink when she felt embarrassed, the way…
As if conjured from his memories, Dean caught sight of a woman who looked entirely like Beth. She wore a stylish black dress which stopped at her knees, scooping low at her back, and glossy black shoes to match. He also recognized the man walking with her.
His beer hit the table with a thud as he watched one of his business rivals, William Tundall, place a hand just above her ass and open the door. He tried to convince himself the woman couldn’t be Beth, and then she turned to peer over her shoulder, fixing William with a friendly smile.
Son of a bitch.
“What is it?” his sister asked.
He spared her a fleeting glance before his gaze darted back to Beth. She surveyed the room in slow motion, glancing around the occupied tables.
He held his breath, unsure what he should do. He’d spent days thinking about the moment he’d get to see her again. About the words he’d say. About the pleas he’d make.
Now he was devoid of thought, entirely frozen as her gaze landed on him.
Her mouth opened and she paused in the doorway.
He sat there, hoping inspiration would hit.
Nothing came.
He didn’t know how to react, how to respond to the hurt lingering in her eyes. He kept praying she would smile. Even just the slightest twinge of her lips or a lethargic finger wave.
He needed a sign, any sign, to let him know she didn’t loathe him.
But he’d never been a lucky man, and all he could do was watch as she turned and walked through the door.
“Was that her?”
He couldn’t answer, didn’t want to speak for fear he would choke over the lump in his throat. Instead, he gripped the table not sure if he braced himself to leave or held himself from running after her.
“You should go,” Megan encouraged. “Go after her, Dean. Tell her everything you told me. Don’t let her leave until she’s heard it all.”
His fingers dug deeper into the table, his nails protesting over the pain. He’d never chased a woman before, had never found one worth the effort. Beth’s worth wasn’t the issue, though. He’d go to the ends of the earth for her. He’d give up anything—everything.
But in the end could he make her happy?
Did he deserve her?
“Bloody hell,” he barked and pushed from his stool. “I’ll be back soon.”
Beth increased her pace with William taking long strides to keep up beside her. She didn’t know what to do. At first glance her heart had fluttered like a traitor, ecstatic to see him again, but her mind told her to run.
Run, Dorothy, run.
When would the see-sawing emotions stop? She couldn’t stand the thought of talking to him. To stand there and listen while he tried to manipulate her and swing the situation around to make himself appear like a saint.
However, she also ached to hear his footsteps chasing after her, to call her name and beg her to stop.
The mix of hope and sadness in his eyes had made her heart clench. His acting skills were astounding. Not good enough for the beautiful woman sitting next to him to skip her attention, though. She wanted to laugh at her own stupidity. He had already moved on while she still dreamed of a flowery resolution.
De-lu-sion-al.
“You okay?” William panted in a soft voice.
She felt guilty for using him like a shield. In a short space of time the charming man had given her a brighter outlook on her future. He had previously been the product manager at Sutherland & Son, but le
ft for a better position at a rival company. When he heard through a mutual acquaintance about her unemployed situation, he called her and offered a position with Tycana, another big-name product manufacturer.
“I’m fine.” She glanced at him with a smile.
The night had been going so well. She’d agreed to meet him and his work colleagues for drinks, and for the first time in five days she hadn’t felt broken.
There had been a glimmer of fun. Happiness. Those feeling of elated hope lasted until Dean filled her vision. Then it was straight back to heartache.
“You seem nervous all of a sudden. If I’ve made you uncomfortable by walking you out alone, then I—”
The remainder of his words fell on deaf ears as the sound of running footsteps came from behind them.
“Beth.”
Dean’s pleading shout weakened her legs and her ankle wobbled with her next step.
“Are you okay?” William asked again.
She focused on the cab dead ahead and increased her pace. “I’m fine. I just need to get out of here.”
“Beth.” Dean’s voice was a command. “Just give me a minute to explain.”
Her feet tingled in preparation to run. She never wanted to speak to him again. The wish was unrealistic, though.
If she accepted the position with Tycana, they would mingle in the same circles and were bound to see each other in the near future. She would have to face him. If not now, soon.
Damn it.
There was little point putting off the inevitable awkwardness and her shoulders slumped with the realization.
She paused, focusing on William’s concerned expression as she waited for Dean to approach. “Thanks for walking me out, Will. I’ll be fine on my own from here.”
His gaze searched hers, his brow creased in concern. “Are you sure?”
She nodded with the best smile she could muster.
“You have my number if you need me.”
She squeezed his arm. “Thank you, for everything.”
William was already five feet away and heading back to the Dock & Grill when Dean came to a stop in front of her. She took a deep breath, already able to smell his seductive aftershave, and braced herself for battle.
He stood before her for a silent moment, his expression and posture defeated. The shadows under his eyes made him appear lost and she’d never seen him with stubble so thick.
He reached up, heading toward the stray lock of hair resting on her cheek. For a split second her eyes closed, anticipating the warm caress of his fingers, the heat his touch would spark in her chest.
Before he made contact and scorched her irreparably, she took a retreating step. “Please don’t touch me.”
A deep exhale released from his lungs and his hand fell away. “I’m sorry.”
She waited in silence, biting back the questions that slammed into the forefront of her mind. What was he sorry for? Making her lose her job? Treating her like one of his easy conquests? For pretending to be someone he isn’t—someone with a heart and conscience? Someone she began to fall in love with?
“I completely messed up and I know I’m an asshole, but I’ve worked things out with my father and you can return to work.”
She raised her brows, shocked at his audacity. He was more delusional than she was if he thought she would come crawling back to Sutherland & Son after the humiliation he’d put her through.
“Wow. Thank you.” There was no mistaking her sarcasm. “Is the friendly offer to sleep with your father still up for grabs, too?”
“Beth…” He glanced away, staring into the night.
The little angel on her shoulder told her to ease off and acknowledge the pain in his eyes. But the devil on the other screamed for blood. She had to regain some of her dignity after all she’d lost.
“I’m sorry to be rude, but I’ll have to decline your extremely tempting offer. As much as I enjoy being treated like a whore, I think it would be better if I moved on.”
His face pinched.
Yes, I’ve changed Dean. I’m jaded now.
Before the conversation had a chance to continue, she started toward the cab rank.
“Beth, I…”
When his warm hand gripped her arm, halting her movement, she almost sobbed. The pain of his touch sank deep, far deeper than skin and nerves. It buried inside her, tearing at her organs.
She turned to face him, prepared to retaliate for the agony he’d inflicted. What she found staring back at her made her pause. If all her tears hadn’t been shed during the week, she would have started blubbering all over again from the despair in his eyes.
No.
He had no right to be hurting. He’d lost nothing while she lost everything. He still had his career; his bed was still full of eager lovers; his heart was still intact. He had no right to look at her like that. No right at all.
She twisted her arm from his grasp and pushed him away as hard as she could, slamming her fists into his chest. All the pain, all the sorrow, all the heartache released from her body in one mighty thud.
He grunted and fought for balance, his eyes now wide with surprise. A gasp escaped her lips at the shock of her own brutality, and without conscious thought, she grabbed for him. Her hands grasped his wrists, pulling them closer together as disgust began to eat away at her.
She stared into his face with shame and tried to bite back the apology resting on the tip of her tongue. He may have caused her emotional pain, but she had no right to strike out at him.
When his eyelids closed and remained shut, she didn’t know what else to do except continue holding him. He seemed in need of an anchor. And no matter how much pain he’d inflicted, she couldn’t stand to turn away from him.
He opened his eyes, revealing dark irises glazed in emotion. She didn’t know if it was from her aggressive blow or something else, but the sight caused her own eyes to burn and a cry exploded from her chest. She needed to turn away, to mentally say good-bye to this beautiful man for good, before she lost herself completely.
He stepped into her, his arms moving from her grip to wrap around her back. He brought her into the warmth of his chest, holding her tight until she collapsed into him. His embrace felt like home, like she belonged.
It was a lie.
“No,” she whispered, shaking her head, breaking free of his grasp.
“Please, just come back inside. Give me some time to explain.”
Back inside where he had another woman waiting. She retreated and his hands traced down her arms until they fell limp at his sides. Closing her eyes for a moment, she savored their last touch, memorizing the gentle caress of his strong fingers.
“Good-bye, Dean.”
Before she allowed a single tear to fall, she did the hardest thing she had ever done in her life. She turned and walked away from the man she loved, hoping with every broken beat of her heart that she would never see him again.
Dean slumped into his armchair, the squeak of leather breaking the silence in his apartment. His sister had been eye stalking him since he walked back into the Dock & Grill and the shadow was starting to piss him off.
He wanted to be alone, to succumb to his anger and frustration and let loose with a few stray swings at the plasterboard walls. The physical pain of a few broken knuckles would be a lot less excruciating than the suffocating band around his chest. The unrelenting throb wouldn’t go away.
“So, what is your plan of attack?”
He wanted to ignore Megan and her need to fix something that was irreparable. Instead he peered out at the Melbourne skyline, seeing nothing but Beth’s face in the reflection of the glass. “It’s over. Just leave it alone.”
“She isn’t worth it then?”
His sister baited him, and even though he knew what she was doing, the deliberate jab didn’t stop his head from pounding in anger. “Drop it, Megan.”
“I’m just asking, big brother, ’cause frankly I don’t understand. You’re acting like it’s the end of
the world, yet here you are sitting on your butt doing nothing. You either want her or you don’t. If you want her, you should stop at nothing to get her back.”
His pain boiled and bubbled, making his words come out in a yell. “It’s too late. She already hates me.”
He tried. He called more times than he cared to remember. He’d done the clichéd forgive-me scene with flowers and balloons. And he’d even swallowed his pride and ran after her on the dock. At some point he needed to suck it up and deal.
That time was now.
“If you think about it a bit harder, you’ll realize her feelings are probably the complete opposite. If you meant nothing to her, why wouldn’t she speak to you? If she didn’t feel just as strongly as you, she would have listened to your excuses and fobbed you off without a second thought. But to me it seems like she’s too heartbroken to bear the thought of seeing you. You need to make her listen. Do some grand gesture to make her fall for you again.”
“You mean some fucking Hallmark shit?” He pushed from the chair, needing to pace out his frustrations before he cracked for good. “No, thanks.”
Silence made the air thick between them, the moments passing with the tick, tick, tick of his kitchen clock. His sister may be the type to believe in unicorns and happily-ever-afters, but he sure as hell didn’t.
He’d experienced the jagged edge of betrayal and realized firsthand that love didn’t involve skipping through the park with fluffy bunnies bouncing around your feet.
If love did exist, it wasn’t something that came around very often, and he doubted he would be a guy deserving of the blessing.
The time had come to concentrate on something else, to focus on his new position in the company and throw himself into his work.
Twice he’d been kicked in the stones because of love. He wouldn’t be stupid enough to prolong the latest experience—or go in search of it again.
Chapter 16
“You need to sort your shit out.”
Beth’s eyes widened at Angela’s greeting on Sunday afternoon. “Excuse me?”