by Adle Geras
*
Edmund Norland very quickly became Edmund. He was always in the Royalty after that first day. Sometimes he leaned against the wall of the rehearsal room while Piers took a class; sometimes he came to Lyons Corner House with Hester, Dinah and Nell; he often came to Gino’s in the evening, and occasionally he was to be seen with the foreign-looking Magda. When she was there, he was very attentive to her, but when he was alone with the members of the Charleroi Company, he didn’t seem to miss her very much.
Then, one day in early October, at the end of a rehearsal Piers said, ‘Dinah, Nell, Hester and Mona. Could I have a word, please?’
The dancers looked at one another, as if to say, what have we done now? Piers saw this and laughed. ‘Not to worry, darlings! This is a treat for you. A party, no less. It’s Edmund’s idea, but it’s a good one, I must say.’
The idea may have been good, but it was also exhausting. The four of them had been chosen to perform some dances at a birthday party for someone called Virginia Lennister. She was the wife of a friend of Edmund’s and she loved the ballet. In fact, Piers told them, she had invested in the Charleroi Company. She was a wealthy American and lived in a grand house near St Albans.
‘And you’re going to have to rehearse my little dances as well as Giselle. Do you think you’re up to it? I’ve devised a few simple things for you to do that will nevertheless impress Mrs Lennister. Nothing too demanding and all set to the pretty Chopin music that partygoers will be expecting. My own little Chopiniana!’ He laughed. ‘How does that sound to you?’
It sounded wonderful to all of them. Dinah said, ‘I’ve seen the house. It’s ever so grand. And I’ve heard of Adam Lennister. He’s a writer, but I’m not sure what he writes.’
During rehearsals, they found out more from Edmund.
‘I’ve known him for years,’ he told them. ‘We were at school together and he used to write poems. I set some of them to music once. Now he’s a biographer and a very good one, though his books aren’t exactly moneyspinners. Still, Virginia’s got enough for both of them. The house is quite beautiful. Wait and see. You’ll all have a grand time.’
*
On the day of the party, Piers and his dancers arrived in the enormous car that Mrs Lennister had sent for them. In the boot was a small skip full of tutus, ballet shoes, make-up and assorted headdresses and jewellery. Edmund was already at Orchard House and was going to meet them before the party started to go over the moves, though it wouldn’t be a proper rehearsal.
‘Blimey,’ said Nell as they drew up in front of Orchard House and she took in the ivy-covered façade. ‘I didn’t think there were houses like this so close to London. And there must be an orchard too, right? Round the back, perhaps?’
‘Come along, ladies, enough gossiping,’ said Piers, but he couldn’t resist adding, ‘It is rather fine, isn’t it? They’ve got quite a nice flat in London as well, only she likes the country. Well, so would I if I could live in this sort of style. My experience of outside London is that things are usually unspeakably Spartan.’
An elderly man in evening dress – Hester guessed he must be the butler – showed Piers into the drawing room and then led her and the others upstairs.
‘One law for the rich and another for the poor,’ Dinah whispered to her, as they were shown into one of the guest bedrooms.
‘There are refreshments for you in the kitchen when you’re ready,’ said the butler. ‘Take the back stairs to the basement.’
‘Thank you,’ Hester said. ‘That’s very kind.’
Once the butler had left the room, they hurried to take their coats off. Dinah went to sit at the dressing-table.
‘I wouldn’t mind living here for the rest of my life,’ she said, as she applied dark red lipstick. ‘If this is one of the guest rooms, imagine what the main bedrooms are like.’
The others sat on the bed, tying up the ribbons on their ballet shoes. The toile de Jouy wallpaper; the four-poster bed; the dressing-table which wore a flounce of fabric that matched the pale blue chintz curtains – they’d stared at everything for a long time before daring to put their costumes down on the bed, and their tatty cigar-boxes full of broken stubs of greasepaint on to the spotless surface (wood, covered by a sheet of glass) that lay in front of the mirror.
As soon as they were ready, they went down the fine main staircase, craning their necks to see what they could of the rest of the house on their way to the back stairs. In the kitchen, where food for the party was being prepared, no one took much notice of them, except for one kind young woman who was in charge of pouring their tea and making sure they had some sandwiches and cake to go with it.
‘My name’s Ella. I’ll be looking after you. You’re to come in again after the dancing, and then you’ll get something a bit more filling.’
Her eyes shone as she watched the dancers eating. ‘I’m going to try and watch your performance, if that’s all right. From the gallery, where I won’t be seen. I love the ballet. I go to Sadler’s Wells whenever I can.’
After tea, they followed Piers to the ballroom. A huge expanse of parquet flooring, polished to a high shine of golden-brown, stretched from the door to a raised platform. Chandeliers hung from the ceiling like clusters of gemstones, and the whole of one wall was made up of windows on to the terrace and the garden. Hester could see trees at the far end of a long sweep of lawn. Was that the orchard? Edmund was already at the piano, which was placed to one side of the stage, but got up to meet them as they made their way across the parquet. A woman was standing next to him: fair-haired, with very piercing blue eyes and a small, thin-lipped mouth which seemed to have difficulty in smiling, as though it were a skill she hadn’t quite mastered.
Edmund introduced them to their hostess. ‘This is Virginia Lennister. Piers you know, of course, and these are Dinah, Nell, Hester and Mona,’ and before long, they were up on the stage and the music surrounded them. Hester went through the moves with the others, wondering why Virginia Lennister had been so chilly. This was her birthday party, and she was supposed to be the one who loved ballet. It was in her honour that Piers had put this sequence of dances together, so why had she been so unwelcoming? Maybe, Hester thought, it has nothing to do with us and she’s annoyed about something quite different. Later, she learned that a kind of guarded hostility was Virginia’s natural manner, that she found it hard to relax, and even harder to show any of the normal signs of happiness.
After the performance was over, Hester took longer than the others to change out of her costume. Nell, Dinah and Mona went down to the kitchen leaving her still taking off her make-up. Edmund had delayed her. He’d gone on and on about how wonderful she’d been until she interrupted him.
‘You’re very kind, Edmund, but I must go and get changed. We’re expected in the kitchen for supper, I think.’
‘I know, I know. But here’s what I wanted to tell you. You’re going to be dancing Red Riding Hood in my ballet. Piers and I agreed really, but I insisted. I told him I’d go on strike if you didn’t get the part, not let him do it. No, seriously, I didn’t but I would. And it’s going to be such fun, isn’t it?’
‘Is that true? Am I really going to be … after Giselle? Red Riding Hood? I can’t believe it.’
‘It’s perfectly true. He’s telling the company tomorrow about all the casting. Of course, no one can start rehearsing till Giselle is up and running but the sooner the better really.’
‘Thanks, Edmund. I’m so grateful to you, really. I can’t tell you.’ She flung her arms around Edmund’s neck and hugged him.
‘Go on, then,’ he said, smiling. ‘Better get into your clothes and go for some supper.’
By the time she reached the guest bedroom, the others were nearly dressed. She mumbled something, but Dinah was too sharp to be fobbed off.
‘You’ve been with Edmund, haven’t you? Can’t fool me. What’s he been telling you?’
‘I don’t think I’m supposed to let on, but I’m so excit
ed. Please keep it to yourselves, though.’
‘Go on, then,’ said Mona. ‘The suspense is killing me.’
‘It’s his ballet. Red Riding Hood. I’m going to be doing the name part.’
The others kissed her and congratulated her and Mona said, rather sharply, Hester thought, ‘Well, that was obvious to me from the very first time Edmund came to the Royalty. I could see he was impressed with you. Did he tell you the rest of the casting, by any chance?’
‘No,’ said Hester. ‘We’re going to be told tomorrow.’
Hester changed the subject, and then the others left her to get ready and went downstairs without her. While she dressed, Hester wondered whether she had imagined an edge of envy in Mona’s voice. Dinah and Nell were amazingly generous and never seemed to resent her success, but Mona? It was hard to tell, but here she was, about to take on another leading role, straight after Giselle. Perhaps there were some other members of the company who were good enough to dance the part, but she was just as good as they were. She knew that now. She felt herself suddenly filled with a sort of power. I’m going to do it, she thought, peering at her face in the mirror. I will be a good dancer. Maybe even a great one. Yes. I can do it. She went on getting ready with a thrill of happiness running through her veins. Let them be resentful, she thought. I don’t care. I only care about the part, the ballet; trying to be as good as I can possibly be.
On her way downstairs she took a wrong turning and found herself in a long corridor. One door was open and a light was on inside. Whoever was in the room must have heard her because a man’s voice called out, ‘Hello?’
She hesitated for a moment and then took a deep breath and stepped into the room. The person who’d been sitting at a desk in the corner stood up and faced her. He was very tall and pale. That was Hester’s first impression. His eyes were dark and he smiled at her.
‘I know who you are, you’re Miss Fielding, one of the dancers. I’m Adam Lennister.’
‘Oh,’ she said. This was Virginia Lennister’s husband. The writer. Hester found that the proper responses had died in her mouth and instead, there was a pulse beating somewhere in her head. This man was beautiful. His face was like the face of a statue come to life: a perfectly straight nose and lips that seemed carved into exactly the right shape. His dark eyes were fringed with ridiculously long lashes – the longest Hester had ever seen.
‘I’m sorry, I’m lost, I think. Silly of me. I thought I’d worked it all out before.’
‘It’s a confusing house. I know it too well to lose myself in it, though I try sometimes. Like now, for instance.’
‘And I’ve disturbed you. I’m so sorry.’
‘Not at all. I’ve been hiding in here since the dancing finished. Parties aren’t really my sort of thing, but my wife likes them and so … Do sit down for a moment.’
He went back to his chair at the desk, indicating to Hester a sofa where she should sit. She didn’t lean back, but positioned herself on the edge.
‘You look as though you’re about to take flight. Don’t worry. I won’t keep you long. I wanted to say how much I enjoyed your performance. Virginia’s very fond of ballet, and Edmund, your accompanist, he’s also a great fan.’
‘You’re not, then?’
‘Well, I didn’t think I was. To be honest, I haven’t seen all that much. But tonight … well, I would like to see something else. Edmund says you’re going to be doing Giselle at the Royalty. Is that so? He and my wife describe it as tragic and romantic. Would I like it, d’you think? I love the Romantic poets.’
‘Giselles’ my favourite of all the ballets,’ Hester said. ‘Not that I’ve seen that many, of course. And I suppose I’m biased because it’s the first time I’ve danced a principal role.’
‘If you’re the star of the show, then I’m sure I’ll like it.’
Hester was at a loss for how to answer this. She was breathless, as though her heart were being squeezed, as though her ribcage were tightening around it, and she thought that if she tried to speak, her voice would come out squeaky and unnatural. Was this what Dinah and all the others were trying to tell her about? They hadn’t conveyed the force of the feeling, but Hester thought that maybe it was. Maybe this was the attraction she was supposed to have felt for other men, but never had. He’d spoken to her. She had to answer, before he realised how she was feeling.
‘I don’t know how to say what it is I like about the ballet. It just makes me feel as though I’m in a world that’s perfect. Beautiful. Not like the real world.’
‘Yes,’ he said and fell silent, his shoulders slumped. I must leave, Hester thought. She stood up.
‘I ought to go.’ Her voice came out as a whisper. ‘You must be tired.’
‘No, I’m not tired,’ he said and stood up. ‘Will you do me a favour?’
‘Yes?’
‘Please call me Adam. Next time we meet?’
‘Of course. Adam. I’m Hester.’
‘Hester,’ he said, on an outgoing breath, like a sigh. She wanted him to say it again, and miraculously, he did.
‘Hester. I’ll come and watch you dancing in Giselle. I promise.’
‘Thank you.’ She turned and almost ran from the room. Her face was burning. He wants to see you performing, she told herself. He’s only interested in you as a dancer; nothing more than that. He’s discovered that ballet is enjoyable and that’s the beginning and end of it.
She had forgotten, after all that, to ask him the way to the kitchen, but she found it in the end, blundering through corridors and down staircases without paying any attention to where she was going. When she got there, Dinah, Nell and Mona were tucking into smoked salmon and potato salad, and there was peach melba waiting for them all on the dresser.
‘Where’ve you been?’ Mona said.
‘We were just about to send out a search party,’ Dinah added. ‘You look hot and flustered.’
‘No, I’m fine,’ Hester said, surprising herself with how normal she sounded.
*
Hester thought that dancing Giselle, the part she had always loved more than any other, would distract her from her own emotions, but the ballet seemed to mirror so many of her feelings that by the time the day of the first night arrived, she was in a state of such anxiety and elation and excitement that she could hardly go through the ordinary motions of breakfast and class and talk with her friends. There was a fitting in Wardrobe just before lunch and Hester stood for a long time with her arms above her head while the wardrobe mistress took the bodice in with pins.
‘You’ve lost a little weight since the last time you wore this,’ she said, not altogether approvingly.
‘I haven’t been meaning to,’ Hester said. ‘I eat all the time.’
But I think I may be in love, she said to herself. This must be what it feels like. I’ll speak to Dinah. I must tell her. Everything.
She found her friend in the dressing room.
‘Dinah, can I tell you something?’
‘What’s the matter, Hester? You look as though you’ve seen a ghost.’
‘No, it’s worse than that. I think I’m in love. I think I’m feeling all those things you said I’d feel.’
‘Wonderful! How wonderful! Who is it? Anyone I know?’
Hester hung her head. ‘That’s the problem. It’s Adam Lennister. What am I going to do?’
Tears began to slide out of her eyes and she wiped them away with the back of her hand.
‘Has he … ? Since we danced at his house, have you seen him?’
Hester shook her head. ‘He’s written to me. He’s coming to the first night. He wants to take me to dinner. I want to go, but it would be wrong, wouldn’t it? He’s married, Dinah!’ She was almost wailing. ‘I’m sorry. I’m being stupid. I can’t go to dinner with him.’
‘But you want to, don’t you?’ Dinah was looking very serious. ‘And you will, I think. You have that look about you.’
‘What look?’
‘The lo
ok that means you’ll do what you want to do whatever I say to you. Whatever I warn you about. Whatever anyone advises. I’m right, aren’t I?’
Hester bit her lip. Dinah was right. She’d known, from the first letter (he’d written to her three times since they’d first met, and she knew each message by heart) that she would do whatever he asked her to do. She said, back-tracking, ‘I don’t suppose, really, that there’s anything wrong with going out to dinner with someone.’
‘So you won’t be coming to Gino’s with the rest of us? That’ll be a shame.’
‘No, I’ll be there. He didn’t mean tonight. His wife will be with him for Giselle. And I wouldn’t miss a first night party at Gino’s. What would I say to Madame Olga? Adam …’ She blushed. Just saying his name made her feel most peculiar, as though parts of her were shifting in her body. She went on, ‘He’s asked me to dinner the day after tomorrow.’
‘Be careful, Hester.’ Dinah looked grave. ‘I mean it. You could be hurt so badly.’
‘I will be, I promise,’ Hester said. ‘And I’ll try not to be hurt.’
Hester was doing her best to sound normal when she didn’t feel normal at all. This, what she was experiencing now, was more like suffering from a fever. She should have felt happy but she was miserable. At least Dinah knew what was going on now. The shame, the secrecy that would have to surround any relationship with Adam would be hard to bear. She could never tell Madame Olga about him, that was certain. She was in London for the first night of Giselle but Hester knew her opinions about love in general and for dancers in particular. It was, she often said, a disease dancers should never allow themselves to catch. She’d been warning Hester against it for years. And now Dinah had warned her all over again. Adam was married. I ought to tell him I won’t see him but I can’t. I want to see him. I don’t care if it is only over a dinner table. Adam Lennister. She repeated his name in her head, over and over again.