by Alyse Zaftig
"It's the old house. It's our guesthouse, and the barn is my office when I want to get away from my headquarters."
I had never really gotten out of the house to look at the barn. As we kept driving, we got to a very large, circular driveway. I was speechless as I saw the white mansion at the end of it. It had huge columns and blue shutters around every window.
The lights were on inside.
"That's your house?" There was a little heat in my voice. "Why did you make me stay in the other one?"
"Do you remember that Andrew used to live here?"
I thought back to our conversation. "He did. He said that he knew you." I blinked. "You guys played euchre together."
"That's right. We were close when he lived here. I saw him every week.“ Jimmy pulled at his collar a little bit. "He told me what you said...I guess I got a little annoyed."
"A little annoyed? So you put me into a hovel instead of your actual house?"
My body felt hot enough to melt all of the remaining snow.
"Hey, that's my family's old house. It's not a hovel. It's in perfectly livable condition."
"That wasn't your neighbor's Wi-Fi that one time. It was yours. You had your own Wi-Fi, but you cut me off from the rest of the world. For what? For revenge because I didn't want to come to Wisconsin and marry a farmer?"
Tears of rage were welling up inside of me. My volume was getting louder and louder, and I could see the chauffeur's concerned face in the rearview mirror.
"Shh. Let's discuss it inside."
I wiped away a tear, and I got out of the limo. I followed Jimmy into the house. I could smell chicken and carrots. I sniffed.
"What's that?"
"My mom wanted to meet you."
I blinked. There was a lovely middle-aged woman. She had blonde hair perfectly coiffed. Her skin looked was wrinkle-free. But her smile was genuine.
"Welcome, sweetheart." She gave me a hug. "I'm so glad to meet you. My little Jimmy here told me all about you. I'm so glad that you accepted his proposal. I guess he had to marry you too fast for me to be able to get to DC in time. I'm so glad to meet you anyway."
"Mom, I told you that I'm James now. I'm not a little boy anymore."
I blinked. "I'm so pleased to meet you," I said automatically. "Jimmy said that you lived in Chicago."
"Yes, not too far from Milwaukee. And Jimmy, I know perfectly well what your name is. I named you, after all, and don't you forget that. And don't roll your eyes. It's not polite. You aren’t too old to spank.“
I smiled. Looked like his mother was not afraid to put Jimmy into his place. I liked her sass.
"I am so sorry that you couldn't make it to our wedding, but I am glad that you are here now."
"Come in and eat. You must be starving. You've had a big day."
On the table was a long ficelle.
"How did you know that this is my favorite kind of bread?"
"Oh, is it? It's mine, too. When I lived here, I sent Jimmy's father into Madison to the nearest bakery to get it for me. It's only about a half hour away. Nothing fills you up like bread in your stomach."
I blinked. I knew about satiety charts that said otherwise. Fish was the best thing to fill you up, but I shut up. I wouldn't say anything to contradict this lovely woman, a bit of warmth in a home that I expected to have none. I hadn't had a mother for a long time, and I would take this loving treatment for as long as it lasted. I liked her already, and I couldn't wait for our baby to become her grandchild. I was sure that she would spoil the baby rotten. I smiled.
"Did you know that I am pregnant?" I worried a little that she would be sniffy about premarital sex. Jimmy hadn’t ended up a virgin at his age by being raised by people who thought that casual sex was great.
"Yes. Jimmy told me. Honestly, what was he thinking, letting a lovely girl like you get away." She shook her head. "After watching him take home all those barracudas, I am so glad that he has found a lovely girl like you."
I smiled at her. "I think that we are going to be good friends."
"Of course we are." She sniffed. "As if I would ever let my son marry someone I wouldn't like."
I liked her. She was feisty.
"Sit down and eat."
I ate the chicken noodle soup. It wasn't anything that I hadn't had before, but the depth and richness of the flavor were on another level.
"Oh my gosh, why is this so good?"
"This is literally farm to table, sweetheart." His mom put her hand on my shoulder. "We rent out our acreage to farmers, and they grow crops here. It's good to see the place looked after when we're out of town. Jimmy travels constantly."
I looked at him. "Does he?"
"Oh yes, his business interests are far-ranging. You can't eat money, you know. Agriculture addresses one of humanity's most basic needs, and I know that he is always telling me that he's in one time zone or another. It's easier to talk to him when he's in Beijing than in Western Europe, though."
"Oh?" I looked at him. He had a lot of explaining to do.
"Yes. In Beijing, I'll call him early in the morning, and his time it'll be a reasonable hour at night. When he's in France, it's just impossible to get in touch. He will tell me, "I am busy, Mom." That'll be it." She blinked. "But don't worry. I will leave you two lovebirds alone. I know what it is like to be a newlywed." She winked at me.
I felt heat rising in my cheeks. She had no idea that Jimmy and I were on the outs. She knew that I had left, but she obviously was on my side.
I looked down at my plate. My soup had vanished. I ate the last bite of bread in my hand.
"Thank you so much for putting together dinner, Mrs. Fox. I highly appreciate it."
"Call me Diana, darling. Mrs. Fox applies to both of us now."
I winced. "It does. I'll go upstairs and get ready for bed. Good night.”
El Dorado
Amelia
"I'll help. Thanks, Mom." Jimmy bent down and kissed his mother's cheek. I could see the affection between them, no matter how sassy she was. She loved him, and she would be an excellent grandmother to our children. That was a good thing, since my mom was long gone. The kids would only have two grandparents to spoil them instead of four.
"In here." Jimmy touched my arm and indicated one of the doors.
I opened it. I saw gold everywhere, like I was a conquistador who had suddenly discovered El Dorado.
"Dear Lord." I looked around. He had a canopied California King bed. Everything in his room was done in shades of gold.
He stuck his hands in his suit pockets, ruining the line of his clothes. "My mom...I got tired of all my hockey stuff in my room, but I did not have time to fix it. I gave my mom complete permission to redo it. Do you like it?"
"It's so much." I blinked. I touched the wall. "Is this silk?"
"Yes, all the wallpaper is silk. It's the opposite of a child's room, you see."
"Okay." It wasn't really a bedroom; it was a suite. He had a gigantic walk-in closet that was the size of my tiny apartment. "I cleared out a side for you."
I looked at it. "Maybe it would be better if you cleared your bottom racks and just me have them. I'm too short for the top racks."
He smiled at me. "Whatever you want, Mrs. Fox."
I wagged a finger at him. "I'm still mad at you." But I smiled a little bit. He had gotten ready for me to be here, and that counted for something. Not a lot. Not for knocking me up, not for conspiring with my dad to marry me and have Jimmy take over my dad's business. But it was enough to poke a tiny crack in the wall that I was holding around my heart. I had some hurt in my heart, and standing here in the closet he had prepared for me mended some of it.
"If you want to unpack your little suitcase, I can get the rest later."
I noticed that my suitcase was in the room. I looked at him and cocked my head.
"Who brought it up?"
“We have a man who is sort of our jack-of-all-trades. We don't really have a household staff. We have a housekeeper
who cooks for us and our jack-of-all-trades is her husband. They live on the grounds, though it's in a cottage."
"Okay." I opened up my suitcase, and I brought my little toiletries bag into my new bathroom. It was all gleaming gold taps. It was nicer than my bedroom at home, and that was saying a lot.
He came up behind me as I got my toothbrush out to brush my teeth. He wrapped his arms around the indent of my waist, and his chin came down gently on the top of my head.
"I know that you are not that happy right now, but I swear to you, we will make this work if we can. I want this baby." He touched my stomach. "And I have wanted you, even without the pregnancy." I watched his face in the mirror. I could read him like a book. No. He had concealed so much of himself from me, making me think that he was just some Cheesehead farmer when he was really a businessman on par with my father.
"You have a lot of apologizing to do, Mr. Fox." I turned around. I poked him in the chest with a light finger in the center. "You lied for a long time."
He picked me up off of my feet, and I squealed.
“Put me down!”
"I know."He wrestled me so that I fell back into our bed, wedding dress and all. His mouth came down on my lips, and I savored the taste of him. I hadn't kissed anybody else when I had gone out clubbing, and I missed the way that he tasted on my lips. I explored his mouth with my tongue. Smooth, warm wine felt like it was sliding down my throat. I was too mad for this, but somehow, his mouth on mine made it all melt away, like it had happened in another lifetime.
I felt my body warming at his touch. I felt myself getting wet between my thighs. I was conditioned to want him.
"I want to get naked."
I pushed him off of me lightly, and I turned so that he could pull down my zipper. He kissed a trail down all of the dark skin that he revealed. My wedding dress had boning built into it that precluded the need for a bra.
He flipped me over so that I was on my back again, staring up at him. I was only wearing a tiny blue lace thong that did nothing to conceal me.
He stared at me as if he were a thirsty man coming out of a desert. He pulled at the strap at my hip. "Something blue?"
"Something blue." I reached up for him and kissed him.
He tore my thong with two strong hands.
"I like it, but I like seeing your pretty pussy more."
He kissed his way down my body, leaving a trail of tiny fires in his wake, and he stuck his tongue into my dripping slit. I arched into his mouth. His hand came up to stimulate my clit, and I shuddered through an orgasm.
He flipped me onto my stomach. He separated my legs as far as they would go, and he pushed inside of my body. I sighed. I needed this more than I needed his kiss. I felt his dick stretch me. It burned, and my body was filled with light.
He pulled out. I flipped over to stare at him.
"What?"
"I don't want to hurt the baby."
I blinked at him. "You're fine. Plenty of married couples have sex when the woman is pregnant."
"I don't..." He rubbed the back of his neck. "It feels different to take a pregnant woman."
My eyes filled with tears from sexual frustration. Maybe I wouldn’t have asked my question if I was not tired and aroused. “Are you calling me fat?"
"No, no! I just...your body is different now."
I could not stop the tears streaming from my eyes. I pulled the top sheet off of his bed, and I wrapped it around myself. I started to walk out the door. No time to pick up my discarded wedding dress.
"Hey. Hey! Come back here."
I turned and shot him my sharpest dagger eyes. "I'll sleep somewhere else tonight."
He pulled on my sheet so that I was naked again. "We can sleep together and not have sex, you know. We're consenting adults."
"Somehow, this wasn't what I thought my wedding night would be like."
Silence fell. I walked out into the hallway as naked as the day I was born. There was a light on under one of the doors, and I knew that must be his mother's room. It was at the other end of the hallway. I slipped into an immaculately clean guest bed with a navy blue duvet in another room. I fell asleep naked, too drained to try to go back into his room and get my stuff.
Exploring
Amelia
When I woke up, I was back in Jimmy's bed. He was nowhere in sight. I checked the clock. Nine. I had slept in a little bit.
I put on a dress, a crumpled, awful one, from my suitcase. Who cared. It suited my mood today. I walked downstairs. There was a plate of eggs waiting for me, covered by a little silver dome. I ate my eggs alone, remembering what it had been like to eat breakfast with Jimmy. I guessed that those days were gone.
His mom came into the kitchen. “Good morning, Amelia."
"Hello, Diana. Please call me Mel." I smiled at her, even though I felt like an undead zombie. She looked like she’d been up for hours, every hair in place. I felt embarrassed for walking downstairs in my rumpled clothing. I was an awful mess.
"Oh, I didn't know that you went by a nickname. Jimmy didn't say."
I was quiet. Jimmy and I did not have pet names for each other. He didn’t know that everyone called me Mel, and everyone called him Jimmy, it seemed. We were strangers still, and nights like our wedding night were not going to cement our commitment to one another.
After a tiny beat of awkward silence, Diana said, "I'll get out of your hair. I know that this is technically your honeymoon, although why Jimmy didn't take you out of the country is absolutely beyond me."
"I'm sure that we'll figure something out." I ate another bite of eggs. "He probably wanted me to meet you first thing."
"Well, anyways, I'll drive back to Chicago this morning."
"This morning? Don't you have a driver?"
"Yes, but he lives in Chicago. I'd hardly ask him to drive me the four or five hours between Madison and Chicago. I can barely stand the horrible Chicago traffic, and I would spare anybody else the inconvenience if I could. So I will."
I liked her. She was spunky and self-sufficient.
"Okay. It was so nice to meet you."
She came around the table and hugged me. I squeezed her back. She smelled like vanilla, and for a half second I thought that I was hugging my mom. I hadn't been hugged by a mother for a very, very long time.
She kissed the top of my head. "Come and visit me when you have a minute. Maybe when Jimmy goes on a business trip. I'll take you around."
"I will." I looked at her and smiled. "You know I will. Safe travels."
"Bye, sweetheart."
I watched her walk out of the door. I heard her car's engine turn on, and I knew that Jimmy and I were going to be alone in this awkward, empty space.
I shuddered. I cleaned up my plate and fork, and I put away the silver dome. I wanted to go upstairs.
I went back to my suitcase and pulled out my laptop. My homepage was my direct line to the school. I messaged my supervisor to tell her that I was living in Wisconsin now. With that message, I was slicing away a bond to my old life. At my wedding, my friends said that they would visit me, but I knew that it was a lot to ask to have them visit rural Wisconsin.
Maybe it would be better if they knew what they were getting into.
Pictures
Amelia
I took my phone and went outside. I immediately regretted it. Diana hadn't had on a sweater, but I definitely needed it. I went straight back into the house and stole one of Jimmy's coats from the coat rack. He had a dozen of them anyway. I went and put it on. I used my camera to take shots first of the house. Then I walked out and went exploring on the grounds. I wished that Diana had stayed long enough for me to get acquainted with my new home. It had been hers for a much longer period, years instead of hours.
I had no idea where Jimmy was.
I went back to the other house. It was only a little way out of the main house. If I hadn’t stuck to the old farmhouse, I would not have been so surprised by the appearance of the mansion when Jimmy bro
ught me home as his bride.
My breath was visible in the air, so it was still below freezing, but I liked the bracing cold. I had to be careful to breathe through my nose so I didn’t trigger my asthma. It made my skin feel weird, but it felt good to be warm inside of my coat while the wide world was hushed and white with snow.
I walked back to the old farmhouse. I opened the door. It wasn’t locked. Maybe there was nothing to steal. There was nothing inside that was of high value besides the books, and what thief in rural Wisconsin would think to steal the first editions from the Fox family? The inside was in better condition than the outside, of course. Without Jimmy inside, it was more of a house than a home. Still, I could see from the worn wooden step next to one of the doors that this house had been a lovely home when the Fox family was simply just another set of hardworking Wisconsin farmers.
I walked out to the barn, which I had never seen before. My cheeks heated in the cold air, thinking of how I had hidden from the reality of Wisconsin farm life inside of the old farmhouse. It had been snowing, true, but I had never even tried to see what I did not want to. Andrew always told me, “You must see the world as it is and not how you would wish it to be.”
I walked to the barn. Unlike the house, it was locked. I looked in through one of the old windows. I could see that one of the walls of the barn had a gigantic LED screen, five times bigger than the TV that we had at home. And my father loved his football, so our TV was pretty big. That screen was on another level. I guessed that he had considered it a ‘business expense’.
There was one of those extra-expensive ergonomic chairs that looked really weird but were way more comfortable. There was a stationary bike. I saw one of those complicated weight machines, like a Bowflex, but upscale instead of something that you bought off of TV. I guessed that working out while working was a good way to keep his body toned. I saw a big refrigerator in the corner and a little coffee bar. I walked around the barn to look through different windows, but that was pretty much it.