by Jordan Ford
“Maybe a little, but don’t you think it’s time to let her in?”
She doesn’t say anything and I feel that kick of desperation.
“Come on, blue eyes. You’ve got to do this. I don’t want you missing out. And I don’t want to go in there without you.”
“I’m not coming as your bodyguard or girlfriend. I’ve already told you that.”
I grit my teeth. That’s not what I meant!
Forcing out a calm breath, I softly say, “Yes, you’ve made it very clear that you’re not my girlfriend. We like each other more than we’ve ever liked anybody. We love spending time together. We love making out. But we’re not a couple, right?”
She huffs. “Don’t get snarky, please. I feel really bad about bailing on you.”
“Then don’t.”
“But—”
“Please.”
She lets out a shaky sigh. “I just don’t know.”
“Okay fine,” I snap. “I’m gonna go, because I want to hear Mario play. And I’ll look out for you the whole time and I won’t stop wishing for a second that you’re there with me.”
“I’m sorry, Cai.” She sighs.
“Have a good night,” I mumble and end the call.
My giddy mood has been slaughtered, buried beneath a pile of hot ash that burns.
29
It’s Time To Call For Backup
MAX
I rub my thumb over my phone screen, feeling like shit.
I’m super pissed with Uncle Conrad right now. My hero has bailed without a word, and now I’m stuck at home in some family feud. Chloe’s out, Maddie’s in the shower getting ready to go out with Holden and I’ll be stuck here.
Shit. Dad’s gonna make me watch baseball with him.
I cringe and grip my phone, nearly jumping out of my skin when the closet door pops open without warning.
Maddie gasps and then frowns at me. “What are you doing in the closet?”
Closing my eyes with a sigh, I crawl out and mumble, “I was taking a private call.”
“Oh.” Maddie’s voice is flat and irritated.
She’s given up trying to get the truth out of me.
Pulling out her red dress, she sheds her bathrobe and starts getting ready.
“You look pretty,” I murmur.
“Thanks.”
“Where are you going?”
“Not sure yet.” Maddie shrugs, then glances over her shoulder with a grin. “Probably just dinner and a movie. I don’t really care what we do. I just want to hang out with him.”
I know that feeling!
I worry my lip as the yearning in my chest explodes to unbearable. I want to hang out with Cairo. At Club Matrix! I want to hear Mario play!
I let out a soft groan, then blurt, “I need your help. I’ve been lying to you for weeks. I mean, I know that you know I was keeping a secret from you, but it turns out that secret is a guy and I’m supposed to be meeting him tonight and Uncle Rad was my cover but he’s bailed and I need you…to help me.”
Maddie goes stock-still, her eyes bugging out to match her open mouth. After a slow blink, she tips her head and whispers, “What?”
I rub my forehead. “Cairo Hale. I’m supposed to meet him at this club tonight.”
“You’re secretly dating Cairo Hale? Since when?” Maddie’s voice pitches.
“Since…um…” I sigh. “Look, it’s a long story and I will fill you in, I promise, but right now, I need a plausible excuse out of this house.”
“You… Long story?” Maddie crosses her arms with a huff.
“I know.” I wince. “Look, I know. I should have told you weeks ago, but I was scared if someone found out that it might get taken away from me.”
“How?”
“Hello!” I wave my hands in the air. “Dad? Baseball? Anything that might take me away from his precious game! I like a rock star, Mads! This is the first guy I’ve ever kissed. Dad will freak out because I’m the closest thing to a son he’s ever had and I’m not supposed to fall in love with anything other than baseball!”
Maddie raises her hands. “Okay, whoa.”
“Please.” My shoulders slump. “Just let me come with you and Holden tonight.”
“Forget it.” She gives me an incredulous look.
“All I need is for you to get me out of the house and I’ll ditch you after that. I can catch a bus to Cullington.”
“First of all, you’re not catching a bus anywhere, and second, Dad knows I’m going on a date. Holden actually went to the police station to check if it was okay.” Maddie pulls a disgusted face but then grins. “Anyway, it’ll be weird to bring you along.”
“Well, what I am I going to do? Cairo’s waiting there for me.”
“You could try telling the truth.” Maddie starts rifling through her jewelry box while I scoff.
“The truth? As if! Yeah, hi Dad, I know I’m underage and everything, but I’m just heading off to a club outside of town so that I can dance and make out with Cairo. Yeah, Cairo Hale, the school rock star who doesn’t even like baseball. You’re cool with that, right?”
“Okay, I get it.” Maddie frowns, her confusion growing. “Have you seen my gold bracelet?”
“No.” I shake my head.
“I wore it last weekend. I wonder if it fell off in Holden’s car,” she mumbles to herself.
“Whatever, it’s just jewelry. Can we focus on my crisis, please?”
“Fine.” Maddie spins to face me, her blue eyes stripping me bare as she reads my desperate expression. “Wow. You really like him, don’t you?”
“I’ve got it pretty bad. Yeah.”
She gives me a sad smile. “Can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”
My insides crumple with regret. “I’m sorry. I was scared.”
Maddie takes a seat beside me, running her hand across my shoulders and hugging me to her side. “You can trust me with anything. You’re my Maxy. And I’m your Mads. I hate that there’s all this secrecy between us.”
“Well there’s not anymore.” I turn to her, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
She tips her head. “How’d it start?”
Pressing my lips together, I finally let out a shaky sigh and go for it. I tell her everything, from the guitar lessons to Latifa the Bitch to my fears over Cairo’s long list of girlfriends.
Maddie takes it all pretty well considering I’m talking faster than a bullet train screaming through a station.
“…And that’s why I have to go tonight. Because I just want to be with him. I know you get that.”
“Aw, Max.” Maddie pulls me in a fierce hug. “You’re falling in love.”
I grip her shoulders. “I’m terrified.”
“It’s okay.” She rubs my back. “It’s good. Love is amazing.” Pulling back, she holds me at arm’s length and grins. “I’ve missed you.”
“Missed you too, sis.” I kiss her cheek and we embrace one more time before Mads goes into planning mode.
“Okay, let me text Holden and give him a quick heads-up. Then we’ll work on Operation Get Max Out The Door.” She glances down at me, her nose wrinkling. “You gonna change?”
“Um…” I glance down at my raggedy jeans and oversized Clippers shirt. “I guess so.”
“I think what you’re trying to say is hell yes!”
Maddie walks to our closet and, while she’s texting, throws out a few random things.
“I can’t look too classy,” I tell her. “Dad’s gonna know something’s up.”
“Good point.” She nods and tones down her choices until I’m dressed in a pair of skintight jeans, a tank top with a few sparkles shimmering in the fabric, and my pair of feather earrings. It’s a little OTT if you ask me, but as soon as I’ve shoved on my red Converse high-tops, I feel better about life again.
We walk into the living room as Dad is greeting Holden and talking about the big games coming up. Thanks to a pretty go
od season, we have a chance of making it into the playoffs. We have a few more decider games to go, but Dad’s pretty damn hopeful.
He glances at us when we appear, his brow creasing when he notices that I’m ready to leave the house.
“Where are you going?” he barks.
“Um, I’m heading out with these two.” I point at them, flashing Holden a grateful smile before looking back at Dad.
“They’re going on a date. Isn’t that cramping their style?”
“Actually, sir.” Holden steps up. “We’re just dropping her off on our way. Some of the guys are playing PS4 at Zane’s house.”
“Oh.” Dad looks kind of disappointed as he points a finger at the TV. “I was going to ask if you wanted to watch a ball game with me.”
His rejected frown kind of kills me. Why does he make it so hard?
Forcing a smile, I rise to my tiptoes and peck his cheek. “Maybe tomorrow?”
“Sure.” Dad chucks my chin but can’t help another sad smile. “Have a good night, then. And be home on time.”
“Yes, sir.” Holden takes Maddie’s hand and leads us out to his car.
Dad stands in the door to watch us leave.
Looks like it’ll just be him and Mom for the evening. I’m guessing he’s not overly keen on that one. Hurricane Kristin can be a tough one to manage.
Shaking off my guilt, I slip into Holden’s back seat.
As soon as the doors are shut, he pulls away from the curb and looks in the rearview mirror.
“So, where am I taking the little escapee?”
I snicker and lean forward to answer him. “It’s called Club Matrix. It’s in Cullington.”
Holden frowns. “And why do you want to go there?”
“Because I’m meeting Cairo Hale for a date.”
His shoulders tense, his fingers gripping the wheel. “You know Cairo Hale’s a man-slut, right?”
“No, he’s not,” I retort adamantly. “He just likes having a girlfriend because it keeps the real sluts from jumping all over him. He’s not a piece of meat.”
Holden shoots Maddie a skeptical frown.
“And just so you know, I’m not his girlfriend. I just really like hanging out with him.”
“And making out with him,” Maddie mumbles with a smirk.
I glare at the back of her head. “Look, just drop me at the bus station and I’ll figure it out.”
“No way.” Holden shakes his head. “I’m not letting you go to that club on your own. We’ll take you, and we’ll stay.” Running his hand across Maddie’s thigh, he catches her eye and murmurs, “Is that okay?”
“Yes.” She gives him a dreamy smile. “I love how protective you are.”
He winks at her and she runs her fingers through his hair before kissing his cheek.
Oh barf!
“I don’t need protecting! Just let me out and I’ll find my own way.”
Maddie glances into the backseat with a frown. “We’re taking you and we’re staying. Otherwise you’re not going at all.”
“Whatever, Mom.” I make a face at her.
She mirrors my expression until I have to give in with a grin.
Leaning my head against the back seat, I concede that having Mads there won’t be the end of the world…hopefully.
The main thing is that I’ll be with Cairo. My lips twitch with a smile as I imagine the moment when I walk into the club. I can’t wait to see Cairo’s face when I surprise him.
30
A Symphony
CAIRO
The club is thumping.
DJ Zee is finishing up his set as I walk in and smile at the bouncer inside the door.
“Hey, man.” I give him a high five and then pull him in for a man hug.
“What’s happenin’, Cai? You not playing tonight?”
“Nah, just here for Mario’s show.”
“Nice. He should be up in the next hour.” The beefy bouncer raises his eyebrows at me as I slide past him.
A ton of people are on the dance floor. I take in the waving arms and gyrating bodies. It’s a sea of motion that surges in time with the beat.
My body wants to move with it and I sway to the bar, the heavy rhythm controlling me. I’m not after a drink; I just want a good spot I can see the main entrance from.
I’m probably wasting my time. Max seemed kind of set on not coming, even though I practically begged her.
I was so close to turning up on her doorstep anyway. I even drove past her street on my way here. But I didn’t want to betray her trust. It already feels like this fragile thing and I don’t want to screw it up.
Resting my back against the bar, I lean my elbows on the edge and scan the room. The strobe lights kick in for a second, blending with the beat to create this manic magic. DJ Zee always knows how to finish well–“Bomba” by Deorro. It’s a sick beat that’s impossible not to move to.
I grin, loving the vibe pulsing through this place.
“You want a drink, Cai?” the bartender yells at me.
I spin and smile at her. “Nah, I’m good, Cleo. Thanks.”
“Well, if you want a soda or some agua, just let me know. First one’s on the house.” She winks at me like she always does and I thank her with an eyebrow raise.
She knows better than to serve me alcohol. Unlike some of the clubs we play at, Matrix has some pretty strict rules. If you’re underage, you don’t get stamped. No stamp equals no drink.
Luisa and Donny Garcia own this place, and they’ve always been really supportive of Velocity and promoting indie music and bands that are trying to make a name for themselves. I search the crowd and spot Luisa doing her usual rounds. She always comes out on Saturday night—her lips painted red, a cheesy smile in place. She’s like a PR queen. It’s borderline cringe-worthy and reminds me a little of Mayor Carter. People like that tell you what you want to hear in the hopes you won’t see through their bullshit.
Not that I think Luisa is completely bullshit. She’s done some really awesome stuff with this club, and I will always adore her for letting Velocity play here.
She laughs at something some guy in a suit just said to her, lightly touching his arm and making him feel like the king of the world. She’s in her usual stilettos and skintight dress. The woman knows how to work it. She’ll circulate the room, checking in with all the important people before disappearing out back, leaving a trail of hungry eyes and longing hearts in her wake.
Glancing away from her, I check the entrance again, then start spinning the ring on my index finger as I settle in to enjoy the show.
Except I can’t, because Max isn’t here and I really want her to be.
She’d love this.
“All right, all right, fellas…and my ladies…” DJ Zee stirs up a cheer. “I’ll be wrapping this up to make way for the mighty Mario!”
The cheers rise in a crescendo.
“Hang tight for five. Grab yourself a drink. And here’s a little sugar while you’re waitin’.”
“Symphony” by Clean Bandit kicks in and I grin.
I love this song.
It makes me think of Max. She’s like a symphony—a complex composition filled with layers and undertones. I’m still trying to work out each note and beat, and as frustrating as it can be, it’s also thrilling.
A smile is firmly plastered on my lips as I get lost in the music while images of Max float through my mind.
I’m so distracted I don’t even notice the short brunette approaching until she’s right on me, laying her hand on my chest and poking her tongue out the side of her mouth.
Why do girls think that’s sexy?
“Uh…” I gently peel her hand off me and take a step back.
“I’m Nadia.”
“Hey.” I keep my voice short and train my eyes on something in the corner of the room. If I act chilly enough, she might get my drift and move on.
“You’re Cairo, right? I saw you playing here a couple of weeks ago.” Her hand returns t
o my chest, her finger snaking between the buttons of my shirt.
Seriously!
“You were really good.” Her eyes dip and then ping back to my face.
She’s going for sultry.
It’s working. She looks really hot…but I’m not into sultry.
I swallow as she inches so close her thigh is pressing against mine.
“You looked super sexy.”
“Thanks.” I lean away from her.
“And now you’re here, all alone.” She bites her bottom lip, dragging her teeth across the gloss before grinning at me. “I’ll dance with you.”
“I’m not looking for a dance right now.” I nudge her away and try to make a break for the door.
This always happens. Unless someone is already hanging off me, they go in for the kill.
It’s not like I can push them away and tell them to piss off. That would go over well—the lead singer of Velocity is an asshole to women. Great. Just the kind of press we need.
I go to move away, figuring I can lose her in the dance crowd, but she grabs my wrist and suctions herself against me again.
Gripping the back of my neck, she rises to her tiptoes. Her boobs squish into my arm as she whispers in my ear. “Maybe you’re looking for something else.”
Before I can stop her, she grabs my face and plants her lips on mine.
31
To Feel Alive
MAX
Holden parks down the block and we walk towards the club. My legs are threatening to turn from a solid mass to flimsy liquid as I follow my sister and her boyfriend.
Holden’s so confident, holding Maddie’s hand and striding forward.
I wish I had the ability to hold my head high no matter what I was feeling.
Pressing my lips together, I let him do the talking and we all get in without a hitch.
Oh man, I hope Dad doesn’t hear about this. Maddie is such a bad liar. If he asks her about tonight, what’s she going to tell him?
My brain starts percolating a few lies she can repeat. I’ll make sure we go over them on the car ride home.