“Is a mutual interest in BDSM something that you feel is a requirement for your partner?”
Leon raised his hand to his chin and closed his eyes, thinking about my question. A few moments passed while I waited for him to respond.
“I suppose an open minded attitude towards a lot of things is necessary for me in a partner. It wouldn’t be something that I feel the person must have already had an interest in, but they must be open to new experiences, just as I am,” Leon said, raising his eyebrows at me, a smirk coming across his face again. I found myself studying his face, noticing the lines around his lips that would soon be etched in as wrinkles from the recurrence of his signature smile. It was a sexy smile.
“Can you describe to me some of your previous relationships? Maybe you can start with the first significant relationship you had,” I said, shaking away the thought of how sexy that smile was.
“My first significant relationship was in boarding school. She wasn’t my first sexual partner, but it definitely had an impact. She introduced me to BDSM and opened up my horizons.”
“A fellow student? Younger or older?”
“Older,” Leon said, a wry look on his face. “Not a student. A teacher.”
I nodded my head in understanding. When Leon told me that it was a teacher that had introduced him to BDSM, I detected a hint of pride in his voice.
“There weren’t any girls in my boarding school. I had been in a few elite schools in Europe, but I had been asked to leave from all of them. Apparently the administration got wind that I had seduced more than a few of the fellow students, girls of course, and two teachers. Although, they were all just rumors and unsubstantiated, officially, of course. So my parents decided to move me to an all boy’s school. A school for rich boys that was geared towards fixing behavioral problems so that these trust-fund babies would turn out to be nice lawyers and investment bankers. Maybe even a doctor or two.”
Leon paused. He pulled out his phone and checked something quickly and then returned it to his pocket. He looked back up to me and continued on as though nothing had happened.
“I was moved to the Tambor School. I was seventeen when I first met Mrs. Robinson. A fitting name, right?” Leon asked, shaking his head as he let out a small laugh. “The relationship didn’t escalate to a physical relationship until I was eighteen, but it definitely began before that. She was studying me, seeing if I could be her Dom.”
“Dom?” I interrupted.
“In a dominant and submissive relationship, there are two roles. There is the sub, who is the submissive and the Dom, or the Dominant. Each role is not gender specific, meaning that a woman can be either and the same goes for men. She was a sub, and when she met me, she already sensed something inside of me that I didn’t even know was there.
“Mrs. Robinson was beautiful. She was in her late forties, but she had kept good care of herself. Right when I met her I had already decided to try to seduce her. Yet she had seemed impervious and kept me at a distance. It was only later that I learned this was a precautionary measure for her. All of the teachers had been made aware of me, she told me this later, and my history.
“After a class where I was admittedly being rather disruptive, Mrs. Robinson told me to sit in my desk and wait while everybody left the class. I thought I was about to be disciplined, but after all the other students had left, Mrs. Robinson had simply closed the door and walked up to where I was sitting and sat down on a desk across from me. That was when I noticed she wasn’t wearing any panties under her dress.”
Leon’s face remained placid. An echo of his smile crossed his lips as he dived deeper into his memory.
“She handed me a note. There was an address and a time on it. Then she dismissed me and said nothing more. When I went to the address that night, I saw it was her house. When I knocked on the door, she opened it and pulled me inside quickly. She was already wearing an... outfit.
“I had been completely satisfied with the sex that I had been having with other women. I was about to be shown that it had been vanilla sex, but I was eighteen and any sex with a beautiful woman was great, despite how easily it seemed to come my way. When other guys would complain about not being able to get laid, I always wondered what their problem was. Women love sex just as much as men do, it’s just that these men are their own worst enemy.”
I didn’t interrupt Leon to tell him that none of those men probably had his looks or charm. Women like sex just as much as men do, but they are also much more guarded than men. With his looks, however, he was easily a master at disarming women. I could see why sex came so easily to him.
“I fell into the role of the Dom very quickly. Soon enough, Mrs. Robinson was bending to my every wish. There was bondage, of course, and some whipping, but it started out tame. She instructed me how to properly spank her and what kind of choking was erotic and what kind was simply painful. I had never thought that I would one day be instructed in the proper art of choking a woman for sexual pleasure,” Leon said, laughing.
“Yet Mrs. Robinson was really only the start. She opened me up for a whole new possibility of sex that I didn’t know had existed. I had what you would call ‘regular’ sex afterwards, sure, but I always felt a draw towards BDSM.”
Leon studied my reaction. After the previous night, I was hardly shocked by what he was telling me. I was vaguely aware of BDSM, but after our meeting I was going to do an entire investigation of it. Purely for professional reasons.
I was merely nodding, a placid figure before him. Leon must have assumed that I was going to be uncomfortable by his admittances, but the truth was I had expected this. Other clients had admitted “sexual prerequisites” to me before, but there was always a modesty to them. No client ever tried to offend me. In fact, there were a few times where I had to ask leading questions just to get the clients, both females and males, to just come out and say what they needed, if it was really that necessary. And I understood that sex was a cornerstone of any relationship. If a certain sexual act or practice was crucial to a client, it had to be factored in.
“Keep going,” I said, “tell me more about your previous relationships.”
A look came across Leon’s face that I couldn’t quite make out. It seemed to be a mixture of interest and perplexity, as though he didn’t know what I was feeling but he wanted to.
“May I have a cup of coffee or some tea first?” Leon asked brightly. “If you want to know of every past relationship, this may take a while.”
“Of course,” I said warmly. I called out to April and told her to bring us two coffees. Leon took his coffee just as I took mine, strong and black. April came into the office quickly and placed two mugs down before us and stole a glance at Leon before leaving. I couldn’t blame her. Leon thanked her politely.
“Leon, you don’t have to tell me about every relationship, per se, I’m more interested in significant relationships. I want to know what went right and what went wrong with them. What brought you together and what broke you apart. What elements of the relationships were satisfying and what left you wanting more. That way I can start establishing exactly what your troubles have been in the past and how we can rectify those problems moving forward.”
Leon took a sip of his coffee. His eyes were cast downward on the cup.
“Who said I have any problems?” he asked, his voice was cordial and polite, but I could sense a hint of annoyance in it.
“Well, we’ll try to establish if you have any problems then. Please, continue with your relationship history.”
“Alright. I graduated from the Tambor School and I broke off the relationship with Mrs. Robinson before I went to college. We had one last night together that was the epitome of everything that I would come to crave in a sexual relationship.
“The night started out with her cooking me dinner. She was dressed in a leather corset and high-heeled black boots that stopped just before her perfectly round, sculpted ass. She had often worked out in front of me, and she really
was strong,” Leon paused. “It’s been quite a while since I’ve thought about her and relived these memories.”
“Does it bring up any residual feelings?” I asked, intrigued.
“No, not any romantic feelings. Not even nostalgia. It’s just interesting, that is all.” Leon looked at me, trying to probe into my inner thoughts. I gave him nothing.
I made a small note in my notebook. Purely sexual relationship, unemotional and unattached.
“She made me an exquisite meal. I ate while she watched. During dessert, she rubbed my feet and sucked on my toes. I tied her neck restraint tightly and I could see it was just on the brink of choking her. While I finished off the last of the wine, I let her go down on me for a few minutes. Of course, I made sure that she took me as deeply in her throat as was possible. She gagged a few times, but the spit that came out felt wonderful.”
Leon was looking me straight in the eyes now.
“I watched her as she used some toys on herself. I attached a chain to the neck restraint she had on and walked her up to her bedroom, she crawled on all fours, very slowly as she had a butt-plug in. Those can make walking a little uncomfortable.
“She begged me to whip her, and since it was our last night together, I obliged. I was eighteen, so you can imagine how hard it was for me not to come quickly, even I had a trigger that went off very quickly at that age. So to calm down the events and make things go a little slower, I had her jerk me off on her face. She really was an expert at it.”
Leon took a sip of his coffee as though he had just told me some benign fact about the weather today. His face was calm, composed. I listened to him, maintaining composure coolly.
“With my ejaculate still on her face, I began to whip her. Soft at first, then harder. She cleaned up her face as I hit her, but with her hand and tongue. I berated her. Berating is not always a factor in Dom-sub relationships, but Mrs. Robinson took a special pleasure when I talked down to her. I was indifferent about it so it didn’t always work; you have to really mean it in the moment when you say it. But that night I was locked into her so it went over quite well.
“I blindfolded her and gagged her. Her hands were chained behind her back and I penetrated her slowly. After a few minutes I saw her whole body shake when she came, but she was a good sub; she made no sound. We had sex for at least two hours. It was slow. I moved in and out of her in no rush. It was our last night together; I wanted to make it last.” Leon shrugged when he said this.
“Did you ever have contact with Mrs. Robinson after your final night together?” I asked quickly, catching him during a pause.
“No,” he said with a finality that didn’t leave any room for doubt that he meant it.
“We’ve established the first significant relationship, what was the last relationship you had?”
“When you say relationship, I assume you must mean a girlfriend and boyfriend situation, but that’s not exactly what my last relationship was. It was another dominant and submissive relationship. She became too attached and I had to break it off.”
“Can you describe the dynamics of the relationship to me? How did you feel towards her?”
“Do you want to know how I felt towards her when she was in chains and every inch of me was pushing inside of her, giving her multiple orgasms?”
I paused to study Leon. Then I decided that it was time to reveal some of the observations I was having.
“Leon, it’s clear to me that part of the problem you are having with your relationships is on display right now,” I said coolly.
“Oh, and what is that?” he asked amused.
“You have a very good defense mechanism. You are very removed from the women you involve yourself with. Even now, you are trying to alienate me from you by regaling me with graphic details of your sexual exploits, thinking I will be offended and close myself off to you. You are trying to push me as far as I will go before I end our relationship.
“College provided you an out with Mrs. Robinson. Your previous partner provided you an out with her emotional attachment, a sentiment you did not share. While you are completely comfortable with your sexuality, it serves as your armor. It blocks you from any closeness and shields you from others when you choose it to do so. With the previous partner who became too emotionally attached, this violated some type of rule regarding your sexual relationship, thus providing you with the justification to end it. Am I correct?”
Leon said nothing. His face gave him away, despite his attempts to remain stoic in the face of my assertions. He was clearly annoyed.
“The first step is to identify your triggers. A trigger is what sets in motion your defense mechanisms and draws you towards women that you can keep an emotional distance from. A woman sets off a trigger and you are attracted to her, but it never translates to an emotional connection.”
“Just because I’m not in love with these women doesn’t mean there isn’t an emotional bond there,” Leon countered.
“Perhaps, but it’s not a lasting emotional bond. You focus entirely on the sex in these relationships, and it is clear to me that this is the defense mechanism you are using against me, but I wonder how much of a defense mechanism it serves with these women as well. If we can identify your triggers, we can change them and fix your problem of emotional distance.”
Leon looked away from me and took a large drink of his coffee, finishing it.
“Alright,” he said, his voice a little softer than before. He was looking at me intensely now, as if there were something there that he was seeing for the first time.
“Leon, you can stop trying to offend me. We’re going to work together. Being honest and straightforward will only make both of our lives easier.”
“In the vein of honesty then, you should know that I do not believe in love,” Leon said. His voice was neutral and I could tell he was being genuine with me. I felt a certain warming of my feelings towards his outburst. This must be a step towards respect.
“Alright,” I said slowly. “We can identify why and how this has affected your relationships in the past at our next session. I’m going to do some more work on your case and when we meet again, we’ll have a course of action to discuss. Before you leave, you can make an appointment with April.”
Leon rose from his chair, placing the mug down on my desk. He extended his hand and I took it. I felt a tiny bolt of electricity when our hands met and a chill ran down the back of my spine. For one maddening moment I wanted him to pull me towards him and kiss me. We shook hands softly and when I let go of his hand, the vision of our embrace dissipated.
“Thank you, Miss Facet,” Leon said. He turned to walk out of my office.
“Leon,” I said. He turned back to look at me.
“Yes?”
“You can call me Julie,” I said politely. I motioned towards April. “And be a gentleman to her, no funny business.”
Leon laughed and raised two fingers. “I promise, scout’s honor.”
I watched him as he made his appointment with April, who seemed to grow clumsy in his presence, dropping papers and fumbling with her pen. After a minute, Leon left, waving to me as he exited.
I sat back in my chair. Leon’s presence lingered in the office, even though by now he was long gone. His mug, still half-full with black coffee, remained on my desk. I wrapped my hand on the mug and felt the coffee, still warm and drinkable. I drank the rest of my own coffee and my thoughts trailed off.
Leon’s eyes staring into me as he described his final night with his teacher. The woman who shaped Leon Christensen’s sexuality, Mrs. Robinson. But had she really shaped him sexually, or had she simply been a vessel? I considered this for a minute, wondering just how much she had led Leon towards the sexual acts that he described in vivid detail to me.
An ocean of blue in those sapphire eyes, penetrated my inner world.
Some of the things Leon said had sparked a reaction. His eyes had studied me for the slightest reverberation of reaction, and I had steadied m
yself so well that I had not even shown that my breathing rate had increased.
I thought of the blindfold. Darkness enveloping my vision as my body was enveloped in the stimuli that Leon would allow. Everything must be given, and everything must be approved by him.
I shook the thoughts away, turning to the notes I had scrawled down. I was supposed to research BDSM, but that could wait. With the way my mind was going over what Leon had said, it was much safer that it should wait. Focusing on work was going to be difficult in the wake of our meeting, but I was a professional. I would endure.
I called the hotel heir and spoke with him for a few minutes before I realized that I couldn’t remember anything that he said. Recovering, I listened intently for a minute and found my bearings in the conversation. He really was a sweet guy, and I was able to get my mind off the meeting with Leon while we chatted about possible connections.
At the gym, I had sparked up a conversation with a teacher who was relatively young, very pretty, and hopelessly looking for love. When the topic of our professional lives came up, her eyes lit up when she found out what I did. I offered her my services at a severely discounted rate, I knew what little money teachers made, and she practically jumped up and down in excitement. Despite my misgivings about love and relationships, they did serve their function to make some people happy.
And who knows, there were couples who stayed together for fifty or sixty years. Maybe I could claim to have been a part of one of those relationships in some small way.
“What does she teach?” the hotel heir asked excitedly when I told him about her.
I thought of a neck restraint attached to a chain. On all fours, looking up to a shirtless Leon with his smile of razor-sharp teeth, pleading with my eyes. The pupil was now the teacher. I was the new student. Following the strict words of my teacher.
I snapped back to the conversation. “Special needs,” I told him, stumbling over the words slightly.
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