I licked my lips in concentration as I switched my foot over to the gas pedal and pressed down. The car roared to life and lurched forward. I panicked and hit the brake again. We jerked to a stop. “Oh my god. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, Dove,” he replied calmly, although I saw that he was bracing himself against the door and the armrest. “You just need to be a little lighter on the gas. This car can really go.”
I let out a deep breath. “I need to relax.” I took my foot off the brake and lightly pressed on the gas. The car rolled forward effortlessly.
“Better. Now try steering back and forth a little bit. Be careful, though, just a slight turn of the wheel will be enough.”
I tried swerving back and forth a couple times and then did the same thing with the car in reverse. Keeping track of my progress in the mirror was difficult, but the driveway was long enough that I wasn’t in any danger of hitting anything harder than grass. After a while of going back and forth, Victor went over general rules of the road. I tried hard to remember them, but I knew I would have to ask him again.
A thought came over me. Had I already learned how to do this before my accident? It was strange realizing that I was probably learning how to drive for the second time in my life. Would anything other than my art knowledge come back?
We practiced basic handling in the car for a while longer, then switched again so Victor could park the car in the garage. “I want to get my license,” I said, as he finished off an expert parking job. “And maybe drive myself to work.”
Victor leaned over and kissed me softly on my cheek. I closed my eyes and breathed in his lovely cologne. I would never be able to tire of how wonderful he smelled.
“We can work toward that, Dove,” he whispered. I froze as he unlatched his seat belt and leaned over towards me, taking my chin in his hand and kissing me lush on my lips. I hesitated, but it was too much, and I reached up and grabbed the back of his hair, pulling him closer. I threw my head back and smiled as he moved from my lips to my neck, feeling the hard stubble scratching gently against my skin.
Each kiss caused pleasure to swell in the center of me. After the past several days of confusion, my body responded to Victor eagerly. Slowly my skin was waking up to his touch, standing on end. I felt the familiar warmth gathering between my legs, although it hadn’t been familiar enough in the past few days.
I reached with both hands under his chin to bring his face up to mine. “I missed this.”
He smiled against my hands, flashing his bright, predatory teeth before diving back down toward my neck. His hand started down my blouse, unbuttoning it nimbly. I sighed and brought his face back up.
“Did you miss me?” I asked.
He leaned down toward my neck again but I pulled him back up after a kiss and looked into his eyes. They were a startling blue-gray confusion—a dimmer version of the eyes I had seen that night in Paris.
“What does it look like?”
“I want you to say it. I’ve missed you.”
Victor leaned back into the driver’s seat, breaking all contact with me. I reached out in surprise. He looked at me steadily before speaking in a measured tone. “Did you call Charles?” he asked.
Shit. “Yes.”
“And what did you tell him?”
“He’s going to show me my parents’ house.”
Victor sighed and stared ahead. “And I have to ask you,” he said quietly. He locked eyes with me, then pointed back and forth at the space between us. “You think this is my fault, don’t you?”
I said nothing. He’d caught me. As the heat between my legs began to dissipate all I wanted was a punishment to reignite my lust.
“I have work to do.” He got out of the car and walked to the door without looking back, entering the mansion. As I sat there in the passenger seat of his sports car in his garage, my blouse half-unbuttoned by his fingers, I wondered what to do next.
Chapter Twenty-three
The morning after my driving lesson with Victor, I sat hunched over the kitchen table, staring into my breakfast wordlessly. My stomach was tied in knots as I became increasingly nervous about visiting my old house with Charles, and things were only worse now that I didn’t have Victor’s support.
“What’s wrong, Dove?” Karen’s voice trailed in behind me as she entered the kitchen with a bucket of cleaning supplies. I sighed into my food. “I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“Leaving? For good?” I could tell there was a bit of concern in her voice and I smiled in spite of my despair.
“Not if I can help it. Charles is going to take me to our parents’ house to see if it’ll help me remember anything, and Victor isn’t very happy about it.”
“That can’t be true. I’m sure Victor wants you to get your memory back. Besides, it’s not like you’re leaving forever, right?”
I looked up at her desperately. “I have no idea what’s going to happen, honestly.”
“Oh, Dove.” Karen pulled up a chair next to me and took my hands in hers. Her skin was covered in wrinkles and so much softer than Victor’s. She gave me a motherly smile. “You two might not think it, but you’re both young, and young people often get confused about their emotions. It might be a good thing to get away from each other for a while; that way you can have time to think about what you really mean to each other. You can’t force Victor to change the way he acts. He’s going to have to learn to do that himself.” She leaned over and gave me a kiss on the top of my head, then went back to her duties.
Karen made a good point, maybe if I spent some time away from the mansion, Victor would realize that he missed me and wanted me in his life. I decided to invite him to a picnic dinner out in the far end of the pasture. I still had feelings for him, and I didn’t want to end things on a bad note before I left.
That afternoon, Betty helped me make turkey sandwiches and cranberry salad for a picnic. I packed it into a wicker basket along with a bottle of wine and a red gingham tablecloth that we could sit on while we ate.
It was a Tuesday, and Victor had some work to do at his office, but fortunately it was still light by the time he came home. I waited patiently for him outside the front door as his car pulled up the driveway. As he got out and walked towards me, he looked at the the basket in my hands and the casual t-shirt and jeans I was wearing; not the usual dressy skirt and blouse I wore to work.
“What’s this about? Didn’t you go to work today?”
“I’m taking a few days off,” I told him. “I thought we could go on a picnic.”
“A picnic?”
I put my hand on my hip and cocked my head. “What? You’ve never been on one before?”
“Well, of course but…” He rubbed the back of his neck and stared at the bundle of paperwork in his hands. “I just wasn’t expecting this.”
I loved seeing Victor speechless; it was something I didn’t see often. Please don’t let this ruin everything, I thought, looking down at his messy hair, stern face, and gentle lips. For a second I thought about cancelling my trip to Sausalito and continuing my life here with Victor instead. We could pretend that Charles had never shown up at the mansion. For all that, though, I knew that this was something I had to do for both of us. I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering what the rest of my life had been.
“Come on,” I urged, “before it starts to get dark.”
After setting his briefcase down in the foyer, he followed me out to the stables where Butterscotch and his black stallion stood saddled and waiting for us.
“You must’ve spent a while planning this,” he remarked before he mounted his stallion with ease. I couldn’t help but notice the way his biceps flexed as he pulled himself onto the horse, the way he leaned his taut, muscled torso forward as he found his balance. He was devilishly sexy even when he didn’t know it.
“Maybe,” I replied, shaking the thought of a shirtless Victor from my mind. “Here, hold this.” I gave him the basket, then mounted Butterscotch wit
h a bit less grace than him.
We rode for about ten minutes at a slow pace to the far end of his estate. There were no houses or any signs of civilization, just a small creek and a heavy copse of redwood trees. “Here’s a good spot,” I said, dismounting my horse. Victor did likewise as I took the tablecloth from my basket and spread it out over the patchy grass.
“I haven’t been out here in a while.” He gazed at the trees and the small, bubbling stream just yards away. “I like being in a place so untouched by humans.”
I tried to focus on what I was going to say to him about visiting my old house, about my relationship with Charles, but the thought of his bare chest still lingered in my mind. The way he turned his body, the sun catching his golden skin as he took in the view of the pasture, only amplified the desire that stirred in me.
“Maybe we can leave our own mark,” I said coyly as he sat down against a tree next to the tablecloth. I hadn’t wanted the picnic to go this way; I wanted to talk about everything that had happened in the past few days, but the scent of his cologne mixed with the fresh, raw smell of the earth around us made me hungry for him. Although we were surrounded by so much open space, I felt entrapped by his presence. I turned to him and reached out my hand to loosen his tie, abandoning all thoughts of the picnic.
“What are you doing?” He leaned away from my touch.
“I’m undressing you.” I got on my knees in front of him and began unbuttoning his shirt. I fumbled a bit; normally I was the one being undressed.
Victor turned from me in exasperation. “I’m not doing this,” he said, but the slow throbbing that had started between my legs overwhelmed my hesitation and I kept going. Pulling open his shirt, I took in the sculpted torso I’d been fantasizing about earlier and leaned in to kiss his chest. He squirmed under me as I slid my tongue slowly down the groove of his abdomen toward the thin line of hair that trailed down to his cock. The bulge at his crotch was warm and responded to my touch, but after a moment Victor pulled away from me.
“This is a mistake,” he said, buttoning up his shirt again at the collar. He moved as if to stand up, but I knew from the flush in his cheeks that he was aroused.
I straddled him quickly and positioned myself over his growing erection, desperate to keep him with me.
“Is it?” I pushed my pelvis against the swell in his pants and began grinding my hips slowly, pressing into him so that I could feel the friction of our bodies on my clit. My hands gripped the bark of the tree behind him as a low, gravelly moan escaped his mouth, betraying his earlier reluctance.
“Dove, stop—”
I pressed my lips against his ear. “I’m so wet for you.”
He gripped the curve of my hips forcefully. “Fuck,” he whispered to himself as I wrapped my legs around his waist. Without warning he stood up with me in his arms and carried me to the middle of the tablecloth before laying me down.
“Why can’t I resist you?” he said, his face inches from mine. He got up to his knees and unbuckled his belt, pushing down his pants so that the sunlight shone down on his cock and illuminated its smooth head. I pressed my fingers to the crotch of my jeans, trying to calm the aching need in my pussy.
“Take your clothes off,” he commanded.
I sat up and unhooked my bra, throwing it off to the side. I pulled off my jeans and panties just as quickly, the air cooling off the hot space between my legs and perking up my soft nipples. I knew Victor was trying to remain expressionless, but I could tell by the way his eyes settled on my full breasts and hard nipples that he wanted me.
Maybe he could never stop wanting me, just as I could never stop wanting him.
He lowered himself to me and spread my legs open before pressing his palm onto my clit. My body tensed with anticipation, and I grabbed the tablecloth in my clenched fists as he began working his hand in slow, circular movements. I pushed myself against him, burning for the contact.
“Is this what you wanted?” he asked.
“I want you inside of me,” I breathed as he slid his fingers along the tender lips of my pussy before sliding one into me. He pulled it out slowly, circling my clit with his slick fingertip, and I squirmed, desperate for him to touch it directly. Instead, he shoved two fingers back into me and I thrust my hips back and forth against him, moaning in a kind of aching delight.
From the corner of my eye, I saw the tip of his hard cock and reached up to stroke the thick length of it. Eager to make him feel as hot and needy as I did, I pulled away from his wet fingers and got to my knees. “Lie down,” I said.
I leaned forward over his reclining body and with my breasts hanging down I rubbed both of my nipples over the tip of his cock. Victor groaned softly and shifted in the grass as I took him between both of my breasts, squeezing them together and rubbing them up and down the length of him.
“You make me crazy,” he murmured through clenched teeth. I glanced up at him and noticed the primal look in his eye and then scooted back to grab his cock. I ran my tongue from its base to the tip before diving forward and taking all of him in my mouth, the head of his cock hitting up against the back of my throat. The taste of his pre-cum overwhelmed my taste buds almost immediately, and I knew he was already close to coming. I wasn’t sure if I had ever felt him as hard as he was now; my pussy dripped at the thought and I knew I couldn’t deny myself the release any longer.
I lifted my mouth away from his cock and propped myself on my knees with both of my legs on either side of him, the wet slit of my pussy opened slightly. “Do you want me?” I asked him sweetly as I rubbed the folds of my clit with my fingers.
“God, Dove,” he moaned. I leaned forward and ground my pussy against his pelvis, his hairs tickling my clit, before moving back down so that I was hovering just above his cock. I dipped down, brushing myself against his smooth tip, and then lifting myself away again.
“Fuck me,” he muttered.
“What was that?” I purred. After his earlier reluctance, I wanted to hear him tell me that he wanted me.
“Get your pussy down here and fuck me.”
I couldn’t take it anymore either; the fiery heat between my legs demanded attention. I finally dipped back down and let his cock slide deep into me. I gasped as he filled me entirely. Once I caught my breath, I grabbed onto his shoulders and circled my hips around his shaft.
The sun set behind the hills while our bodies became slick with a mixture of sweat and the wetness from between my legs. As the core of my body tensed up, my climax growing closer, Victor pushed me backwards onto the grass with him still inside of me.
“I don’t want you to come yet,” he said breathlessly.
I stared at him wide eyed as he began thrusting his cock over and over inside of me, the pulsing throb between my legs growing stronger. I wrapped my legs around his back and welcomed the motion, rocking my hips forward so that my clit continued to grind against him. My breasts were pressed firmly to his chest, my hard nipples pushed up against his skin, and I could practically feel the rapid beating of his heart.
My stomach grew warm and tight as desire grew inside me until my pussy burst into contractions as I writhed against his cock, my back arching off the ground as the climax I had been putting off for so long finally wracked my body. I felt him come inside me at the same time, and he gripped my hips tight as he delved deeper between my warm folds.
“Dove, Dove…” he murmured into my hair as he finished. I traced my fingers on his back as he collapsed next to me.
He wrapped his fingers around my own as we lay there, our two bodies sticky with sweat and still intertwined.
When I had caught my breath, I leaned over and propped my head on my arm. “And I thought you didn’t want me,” I said, thinking of his initial hesitancy.
He leaned back on the grass and stared up at the sky. It was such a human thing to do that I was a little bit mystified and stared at him openly.
“I know I’ve been distant, but I’ve been doing some thinking,” he
said, his voice steady with seriousness.
I didn’t like the way that sounded and I worried that he was going to bring up Charles. I pulled my legs up and wrapped my arms around them as a chilled breeze washed over my naked body. “What kind of thinking?”
Victor continued to stare up at the sky, avoiding my gaze. “About you and me.”
I panicked; for some reason I didn’t want to hear what he was about to say. Was he finally going to tell me he didn’t want to be with me? Now, after what we’d just done together? My strength, my drive to figure out once and for all what our relationship meant, suddenly left me.
He sat up and grabbed his shirt from the grass. “I want to end the contract.”
I took in a deep breath, not sure whether I was supposed to be thrilled or worried. “Why?”
“It just seems like time,” he replied casually.
I watched him in silence for a moment as he pulled on his pants and quickly buttoned up his shirt. I took in a breath. “Because of Charles?”
“I don’t want to hold you back. From your old life or from anything. I want you to figure out what makes you happy.”
My heart felt like it stopped beating for a moment. “What makes you think only one thing will make me happy?”
“I care for you, Dove,” he said, ignoring my question. “I’ve cared for you since the first time I saw your wide, brown eyes staring up at me. I don’t want you to get caught up in my life and have it end up ruining yours.”
“But I’ve been caught up in your life for months,” I protested.
Victor raised his hand to stop me. “No more, my mind is set. Go see your brother. Figure out what it means to you.” With that Victor mounted his horse.
Was breaking off the contract another way for him to say that he didn’t want me anymore? He cares about me, and he knows I love him, but I couldn’t understand what he was warning me away from. He’d mentioned this before, that his life was somehow dangerous, and I had always brushed off his warnings. But now I wasn’t sure if I was his anymore—was I on my own again?
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