They walked down the street from where their cab had dropped them, the late afternoon sunlight bathing the budding trees in light. Soon everything would be green and growing. New life.
Would Irene be around to see it? What about her sister?
Her fingers fumbled with the zipper pull on Irene’s coat. They’d never traded back. This one fit her a little big in the shoulders. She shoved her hands in the pockets and stared ahead.
There was a Grand Cherokee parked in front of Julie’s house that…wasn’t right. Julie drove an older model sedan. This vehicle was new. Did she have company? Should they wait? Could they slip in without alerting Julie?
“You know the car?” Rand asked.
“No. It’s not Julie’s.”
“Figured. Come on, we’ll be in and out quick.”
Then where? What were they going to do? Going to that auction still seemed like suicide. But what else could they do?
The pseudo-lip balm pressed against her thigh with each step, reminding her of the job Irene wanted her to do. Didn’t photographing the protocols go against the concept of keeping the information ultra secretive? And what if Rand was right? What if Irene was really in on it all and this was an act?
Sarah wanted to be done with all of it. She wasn’t cut out for covert work. She’d been playing in the kiddie pool this whole time, thinking she was some kind of patriotic badass.
“Sarah! Rand!”
“Oh, shit,” he muttered.
Sarah flinched and glanced across the yard at Julie, flanked by Emily…and Matt.
Fuckity-fuck, fuck, fuck.
Sarah stopped in her tracks, Rand’s tight grip on her hand rocking her forward. Her gaze bounced from Emily’s shocked face to the deep, angry lines of Matt’s.
They stood frozen at the curb in this tableau, the divide seeming to grow with every passing second.
“See, I told you she was fine.” Julie laughed and waved at them. “Come in, I’m making tacos.”
Bless Julie. She had no idea what kind of shitstorm she’d just created.
Rand and Matt? In the same room? How the hell were they going to explain this? She might be able to lie to Julie, but her brother? Matt would see through it all. And if he was blinded, Emily was there to figure out what he couldn’t. Besides, Emily knew about her crush on Rand, just like Sarah had always known Emily liked her brother.
She glanced at Rand, catching his gaze. He lifted a shoulder and tugged her forward.
The last place she wanted to be was in that house. She’d take a cold room in hell with Wei over this.
How was she going to explain being with Rand to her brother? Matt wouldn’t even say his name on the rare occasion someone brought him up.
“See? She’s just fine. Had us all worried. Here, let me take your coats.” Julie reached for Sarah.
The blood. No.
“Actually, um, I need to change.” Sarah backed up, hands pressed to her stomach.
Three pairs of eyes grew large.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” she said in a rush. “Our stuff’s out in the carriage house.”
“I’ll go with you,” Matt said. He hadn’t once looked directly at Rand.
“Uh, okay.”
Sarah strode across the living room, out to the sunroom and through the patio doors, her brother right behind her. She could feel him fuming.
Any minute now he was going to explode. Because she’d disappeared? Because of Rand? She couldn’t put her finger on what would have him more upset.
They crossed to the rental house and she let them in. Matt still didn’t utter a single word.
She turned to face him, not prepared for this one bit. “I’m, uh, going to change now.”
He nodded.
Well, that was informative.
She ducked into the bedroom and closed the door. Matt’s footsteps started up, his steel-toed boots clunking against the kitchen tile as he paced. She’d wanted Rand to see Matt, to realize the accident hadn’t stolen his life just put him on a different path. But not like this. Not now.
Sarah stripped out of the jacket and stared at herself in the mirror.
Her face was pale, bits of her hair were pulled out of the ponytail, there was conspicuous amounts of blood on her shirt and jeans.
It all needed to go.
First, she stashed her gun in the top drawer of her nightstand. There was no way to explain to her brother why she was carrying a firearm. She didn’t even want to go there.
She stripped down to her underwear and pulled out more of the clothing Rand had bought for her. More jeans and dark-colored tops.
At least they were predictable, unlike the dress. It was almost comical how flustered he’d been when he’d seen the back. God, if her brother saw her in that dress, with Rand…
Could she just crawl out the window and leave this whole mess behind her?
They were supposed to be leaving, getting to safety, and now what? It’s not like we can tell Rand and Emily to pack off and, by the way, make it easy for your protective detail to follow you.
Matt tapped on the bedroom door.
“Not dressed.” Sarah yanked on the new shirt, pulling at the tags.
“Where have you been, Sarah?” Matt’s voice was twisted, anguished.
She closed her eyes. How did she answer that? The truth wasn’t an option. Matt would see through her lies.
“I missed my flight,” she said. It was a truth at least.
“Why didn’t you call us?”
She stepped into the jeans, rolling that question around in her head. Sticking as close to the truth as she could would be best. There wasn’t time to coordinate a cover story with Rand. They hadn’t planned for this.
“Mom and Dad were worried sick,” he said.
The knife of guilt twisted a little deeper. “I’m sorry, things were just crazy.” She fastened her jeans, turned this way and that looking for any tags she might have missed.
“Sarah, what happened?”
The door creaked open the tiniest bit.
“Come in.” She sighed.
This was going to happen. Matt was her older, very protective brother. He regularly found issue with her job, career choices, and everything else. He had plenty of ammunition since what’d happened to Emily when they’d been stationed in Thailand.
He pushed the door open. The anger was gone, but the lines were still there.
While she’d been worried about national security and spy shit, her family had been left to wonder if she was alive, hurt, or worse.
God, she was a terrible sister, daughter, friend.
She circled the bed and wrapped her arms around her brother’s waist, squeezing him tight. “I’m sorry, things just got mixed up during my layover in Seoul. I’ve never had problems like that traveling. And then, I don’t know, I guess because I left the airport and came back without a flight to get on, they…got weird.”
“Was that where Rand was?”
Shit. She shouldn’t have said that.
“You ran into him somewhere.” Matt leaned back. “Julie said you were here with your boyfriend.”
Sarah opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She’d given Julie the simplest answer possible, and that was the worst option when it came to her family.
“How long have you two been talking? Seeing each other?” Matt tried to hide the hurt behind a stony face, but Emily and the kids had softened him.
“It’s…complicated.” Technically speaking, they’d been communicating for months. Seeing each other? Days.
“Complicated?” Matt dragged his hand over his face and turned, putting his back to her.
“I’m sorry. I just…I didn’t know how to tell you. Everything’s happened so fast. It’s unexpected.”
“So you are together?” Matt pivoted, glancing over his shoulder at her.
“Kind of. I don’t really know what we are.” She crossed her arms over her chest. Her heart ached, all the uncertainty clouding her judgment
. What should she do? What were they? She didn’t have answers for the next hour, much less her feelings.
“You’re sleeping together.” He gestured at the pile of Rand’s dirty clothes.
Shit. Sarah glanced away.
“What the fuck? Seriously?” Matt paced away from her and she followed him into the living room. “He turned his back on me. All of us.”
“I know. He blames himself for everything.”
“Well, he should.” Matt turned, fist clenched. He held out his prosthetic, as if that were evidence.
“That wasn’t his fault. You’ve said so yourself.”
“Yeah, well, maybe I was wrong.”
“You’re pissed at me, not him.”
“I’m so goddamn angry with both of you right now. Do you know how worried we’ve been?”
“I’m sorry.”
“You couldn’t pick up a fucking phone?”
She squeezed her eyes shut.
“I can’t believe you. After everything we’ve been through? Rand?”
He had no clue. Not a single one.
“You can do better than him, Sarah.” Matt gripped her by the shoulders.
“Me missing my flight had nothing to do with Rand.” She peered up at her brother. “I messed up. Me. Not him. Me.”
“Then how’d you two meet up?”
“Because…” How did she explain that one?
The front door opened and Sarah nearly sighed with relief. Matt’s spine went ramrod straight.
Rand stared at Matt’s back. “Dinner’s just about ready.”
“Oh, good. I’m starving.” Sarah didn’t think she could eat, but trying to would be better than this.
“I’m not finished talking to my sister.” Matt’s tone was ice.
“Look, if you want to be angry at someone, be angry at me. Not her.” Rand took a few steps closer, but kept the sofa between them.
“No one should be angry at anyone,” Sarah blurted. “I missed my flight. Yes, I should have called. End of story.”
Rand nodded, hopefully catching the threads of her story. “Matt, I’m sorry. We’ve been trying to figure out things ourselves. It’s not like we wanted to keep secrets.” Rand’s voice softened.
Oh, God. Were they really playing the romance card with her brother? This would kill her.
As if it wasn’t enough that she still harbored feelings for him from her youth, now she’d gone and fallen for the man he’d become, as well. They were different people, but at their core they were the same. And she would always love him.
Matt turned to glare at Rand.
“Sarah reached out to me a few months ago.” Rand pushed his hands into his pockets and shrugged. “We’ve been talking. When she passes through Seoul, we meet up. That’s it. This… We didn’t set out to lie to anyone, man. I swear.”
“Sarah? Mind if I talk to Rand alone a minute?” Matt’s tone went from icy to downright frigid.
She glanced at Rand, who nodded once more. “Okay.” She grabbed her shoes and headed for the door.
Rand reached out, brushing her hand with his fingers as she passed. The contact sent little electrical tremors through her body. Her throat tightened. She glanced at Matt, his gaze narrowed. He hadn’t missed the contact.
Was it an act? Had Rand done that for Matt’s benefit? The chances were good it was. Because Rand knew what he was doing, and she was so far in over her head it was silly.
Sarah darted across to the house, her head still spinning.
Julie was in the kitchen with Emily, glasses of wine poured, and one ready for her. Or at least, Sarah assumed the big glass of sparkling pink alcohol was hers. She slid onto a stool and gulped some down to help take the edge off her nerves.
“Where are the guys?” Emily glanced over Sarah’s shoulder.
“Talking.”
“Spill!” Emily mock-punched Sarah in the shoulder.
“Where are the kids?” She glanced around, as if Julie had somewhere to hide two rambunctious children.
“With your mom and dad.”
“Oh.”
“Your turn. What the heck, Sarah? Rand? When? How? Why haven’t you told me about this?”
Sarah glanced from Julie to Emily.
There wasn’t enough wine in the house to get through this conversation. Still, she had to try. Sarah upended the glass, gulping down the contents. Somehow she had to make her best friend believe she was having a secret, whirlwind romance. Shouldn’t be that hard. They kind of were. Except everything else was a lie.
…
Mitch pushed the hospital room door opened, braced for the worst. Another agent lost.
Irene sat propped up in the bed, the blanket tucked up under her arms. Her eyes opened briefly then shut again.
“Oh my God, Irene. Are you okay?” Mitch shoved a hand through his hair.
“I’ll live.” Irene’s voice was funny, a little slurred.
“What happened? Is—are they okay?” He’d gotten her email about making contact with Sarah and hoped that things were turning around for them. Then—this.
“Yes. Fine. Everything’s fine. A guy snuck up on me, is all.”
A guy?
“I saw the orders and the email about the protective detail. Maybe we’ll get lucky, huh?” Mitch paced the room.
“What’s wrong?”
“Hmm?” He pivoted, rubbing his chin. He was so fucked.
“Mitch, what’s wrong?”
He had to tell her. Someone would. Besides, it was time to make the decision about who he could—and could not—trust. “Charlie’s body went to the ME today.”
“I’m really sorry about Charlie, Mitch.”
“It wasn’t Charlie.”
“What?”
“Someone killed a man, stuck Charlie’s clothes on him, his wallet, everything, and let us believe he was dead.” Mitch’s stomach rolled. “The mole, they’re behind this. Charlie’s alive somewhere. He’s out there.”
“What?” Irene sat up, eyes open, her gaze lasered in on him. “What did the director say?”
“I didn’t tell him anything. What if—what if the Chinese have him? What if that’s how they’re so close behind us?”
“God, I hope not.”
“I will, I just… Who can we trust?”
“Don’t tell anyone.” She tossed the blankets back. “Every time we get a break, they’re right behind us. It’s time we stopped playing like a team.”
“What about Charlie?” Mitch stared at the floor.
“We get the case, then we can find Charlie.”
Mitch hoped Irene was right. That he’d have the chance to put things to rights, that he wouldn’t have to identify another body.
Chapter Sixteen
Rand stared across the living room at Matt.
His former best friend.
He’d thought about this moment for years, what he’d say, how he’d say it, where he’d start, how he wanted to end. But it was all gone now. He didn’t know how to begin. He didn’t have Sarah’s way with words.
There were few memories he held onto that didn’t contain Matt and Sarah.
“How long has this been going on?” Matt asked.
“Not long.”
“A week? A month? A year?”
“Less than a week.” Rand didn’t pretend to misunderstand Matt. What was the point? They both knew what he was pissed about. “I didn’t… It wasn’t my intention for this to happen.”
Sure, Rand had always had a thing for Sarah, he’d always loved her, but he hadn’t meant to act on it. If he hadn’t been so starved for human contact, maybe it wouldn’t have happened. But it had. And there was no point in wondering what if. And deep down, they had a connection.
“Where have you been all these years?” Matt stared at him as if he didn’t know what Rand was. Sometimes Rand didn’t know.
“Working, mostly overseas.”
Matt’s gaze seemed to read his face. He’d always been perceptive. Which was why g
rowing up Rand couldn’t entertain the slightest idea about Sarah. Matt would have picked up on it. So much for being careful.
“You got out.” Not a question. “What are you doing now?”
“Private contractor.” Not a lie.
“I figured.” Matt scrubbed his hand over his jaw, the five o’ clock shadow making him seem older. “How much shit have you dragged Sarah into?”
“I don’t know—”
“Don’t give me that.” Matt thrust his prosthetic arm forward, the hook for a hand snagging Rand’s attention. “Nothing’s making sense, which tells me something’s up.”
Rand and Matt stared at each other for several long seconds.
They’d trained together. They’d served side by side. Rand couldn’t tell him the truth, but Matt could read between the lines.
“What I can tell you is… Sarah and I have—”
“Cut the crap, Rand. You’re both in trouble, aren’t you?”
He stared at Matt. He couldn’t confirm or deny that question.
“Fuck.” Matt pivoted, walked two steps, pivoted again, and glared at Rand. “How long has that been going on?”
“I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.” Rand delivered the line in a deadpan voice. It was what he had to say.
“And Sarah. Great. Fucking great. Did you do this?”
“No,” Rand said quickly.
“I’m going to wring her neck. What was she thinking?”
“Right now she’s thinking about how to keep her family safe,” Rand said slowly.
“We’re in danger because of the two of you. Fucking fantastic.”
“Do you have somewhere you could go?”
“Yeah. Mom and Dad aren’t going to like it. What about your parents?”
“They’re fine, last I heard.”
“What the hell are the two of you into?”
Rand kept his mouth shut.
“Why you? Why now?” Matt continued to glare.
“Look, Matt, I’m sorry—”
“You couldn’t find a better time to say that, man, really? After all these years, you waited until now?”
“I thought I was doing the right thing.”
“Fuck you.”
Rand pressed his lips together.
“Why? Why have you never come back? Why am I just now seeing you for the first time in years?”
Spy Games (Tarnished Heroes) Page 21