by Kate Lloyd
Stephen asked me, “Have you seen Liv recently?”
I felt like a rabbit trapped in a snare. I’d either have to lie or gossip.
“She’s not living at home anymore, as must be obvious now. If she were, she’d be baking for us.” I inched closer to Beatrice.
“Never mind,” he said. “It’s none of my business. But I do worry about her.”
“Yah, me too.”
FORTY-TWO
Stephen pulled into the Millers’ barnyard and then helped Beatrice and me out of the pickup. The field looked plowed and the mules were grazing, as well as the buggy horse. I saw no sign of Jake’s car, but it was probably hidden somewhere.
Stephen, Beatrice, and I climbed the back steps, and I knocked. When Ruth opened the door, her face was red and her clothes disheveled.
“Thank goodness you’re here. Come help me.” We followed her to the living room to find Amos lounging on a recliner.
“How wonderful!” I moved to his side with Beatrice close behind.
“How long has he been mobile?” Beatrice asked.
“Just today. He tried and tried to get out of bed until finally Brandy and I helped him.” She motioned with her hand. “But I’m not strong enough to get him back to bed.”
“Couldn’t Brandy help you?”
“Nee. Jake took her to the hospital to have her baby.” Her moves erratic, Ruth’s words marbled out. “He tried calling the midwife, but she couldn’t come. She was busy delivering twins.” Her hands covered her cheeks. “Ach, Brandy was screaming that she was going to die from the pain. ‘Take me to the hospital! Something’s wrong.’ So Jake scooped her up, and they left in his car.”
“She’s having her baby?” My question sounded stupid, even to me.
“Yah, yah, the boppli.” Ruth’s voice quavered. “Two months early.”
“Why didn’t he call 9-1-1?” Beatrice said.
“I don’t know. Everything happened so quickly.”
“Eva, is that you?” Amos struggled to get to his feet without success.
“Yah, it’s me.” I hurried to his side.
“Denki for bringing our Jake home,” he muttered.
“But he came back for you, Amos.”
“That’s what I told him,” Ruth said, “but he won’t believe me.” She glanced into my eyes. “Maybe Amos is right, but no use starting an argument. I’d do anything to see my husband and son reunited.”
“You want Amos back in bed?” Beatrice asked Ruth.
“Yah. I didn’t dare try to manage by myself.”
Beatrice held Amos in place. “Stephen, please get over here and help me, will you?”
“Sure.” Stephen hastened around to the other side of the recliner, slid his arm around Amos’s back, and hefted him to his feet with ease. “Want me to carry him all the way?”
“No. Since you’re here, let’s see how steady Amos actually is.” Beatrice grasped Amos’s other arm and steered him toward the bed. “Are you strong enough to walk back?”
“Yah, I can do it.” His legs wobbled, and his spine bent. I could see Stephen was bearing most of Amos’s weight.
“Maybe this is a bad idea.” Ruth stood by the mattress, her arms extended, ready to ease his descent. “Take care that he doesn’t fall.”
“I can easily lift him,” Stephen said.
“Nee.” Amos’s voice turned pugnacious. “I’m fine.”
Eventually, after mincing to the bed, Amos tumbled onto the mattress. Stephen straightened Amos’s legs. Ruth pulled up his covers.
“Thank you.” Moisture gathered at the corners of Ruth’s eyes. “I don’t know what I would have done.”
“Don’t worry. Jake will be back,” I said.
Ruth pursed her lips.
“Won’t he?”
We all stood like statues until Stephen brought out his cell phone. “Do you know his number?”
Ruth shook her head, and I said, “I don’t know either.”
“He never told you?” Stephen asked me, incredulous.
“I knew his old number, but that was years ago.”
“I’ll call the hospital in Lancaster.” I could tell by his compressed expression Stephen was irked. “But I don’t know Brandy’s last name.”
“She said it was Mallory,” Ruth said, “but I don’t know if that’s true. She was trying to conceal her identity, and I never asked again. Jake would know as he’s friends with Brandy’s older brother.”
“I’ll try the hospital, but I doubt I’ll get anywhere.” As a courtesy to Ruth, Stephen stepped outside with the phone. When he returned, his face was pinched. “No Brandy Mallory in their delivery unit. I spoke to someone at the desk and asked if a Jake Miller was there. The attendant wanted to know if Jake was the father.” Stephen glanced to me. “I told her I didn’t know, but that he’d driven her there.”
“Now what?” Beatrice asked. “I’m not in the mood for waiting around for Jake to show up. And I’m sure Stephen has better things to do.”
“As a matter of fact, I need to be somewhere.” Stephen glanced at the clock on the mantel. “Yep. I’m running late.”
“Eva, don’t leave.” Amos’s voice was just above a whisper. “I need you here.”
“Yah, so do I.” Ruth grasped my elbow. “How will I manage by myself?”
I was conflicted. I didn’t want to leave Amos and Ruth, but what could I do? “Have you no neighbors or relatives to help?” I asked.
“Nee. Over the years Amos scared them off.”
“What happened to him to make him so fierce?” I knew about his flaws from Jake, but to look at him now in his weakness—a shell of his former self—filled me with compassion. I imagined Ruth was indeed afraid. How could she lift him or turn him? What if he decided to get up again on his own and fell?
“For reasons I still don’t understand, Amos never treated our sons equally,” Ruth said. Her words echoed off the wall. “He doted on our first son, Michael. Treated him like royalty but was always on Jake’s case for every little thing. Even when he was a toddler. Amos used to say, ‘Spare the rod, spoil the child.’ ”
“Which is biblical,” Beatrice said, “if done with love.”
“But Amos couldn’t control his temper with Jake.” Ruth wrung her hands.
“Yes, I remember,” Beatrice said.
“Then disappointments mounted up.” Ruth spoke to me as if Amos couldn’t hear, when in fact she stood mere feet away from him. “One by one. First, our daughters moved to the Midwest with their new husbands, so we rarely see our grandchildren.” Her hand covered her heart. “Our grandchildren hardly know us anymore. Just their other grandparents, who never ask us to visit. And they won’t accept our invitations.” Lines of stress bracketed her mouth. “And then Michael died. Finally, when Jake turned sixteen and said he didn’t want to farm, it was like a dagger in Amos’s heart. It was his pride, ya see, that his remaining son would wish to desert him. Amos was mortified.
“Our deacon and minister encouraged Amos to lure Jake back with kindness, but Amos became cruel. Belittled him is what he did, punishing him until eventually Jake ran away as fast as he could.”
Beatrice stepped closer. “Ruth, we have women at church who might help you and Amos.”
“But we’re Amish,” I said. “I can’t believe no one would help you.”
“When Amos was injured, half a dozen young men came to work the farm until Jake arrived. And women brought food and helped me with the cleaning, for which I am grateful. But they never visited Amos in the hospital or asked about him. Only our deacon and one minister visited.”
Beatrice walked over to her and wrapped an arm around Ruth’s shoulders. My admiration for Beatrice grew as I watched her kindness. “I hate to have to leave you, Ruth.”
“If you want to spend the night here, I’ll pick you up in the morning,” Stephen said.
“Really. You’d do that?” Ruth said, looking first to Stephen and then to Beatrice.
Beatrice
nodded. “I will if Stephen and Eva will go in the house and let the dogs out.”
“Maybe I’m the one who should stay here,” I said, but I was met with scowls of displeasure.
“You want Jake to come and find you moping over him?” Beatrice asked. I knew she was right. Enough of my waiting for Jake to maybe show up.
“I can sleep on the couch right here,” Beatrice said.
“Okay. I’ll go back to the nursery now if Stephen has the time to drive me.” Stephen nodded, and I moved to Amos’s bedside and took his hand, feeling paper-thin skin. “I need to leave, Amos, but Beatrice will stay and help Ruth. Please don’t get out of bed without their assistance, okay?”
“But I want you, Eva.”
“Why?” Ruth said. “I don’t understand.” She turned to me. “I wonder if Amos even knows. The doctor said he might not recall any of this time when he’s trying to get back on his feet.”
If he does, I thought.
FORTY-THREE
Before leaving the Millers’, Stephen checked the phone shanty and found no messages left from Jake—or anyone.
“Wait up.” I was surprised when Beatrice fished a cell phone out of her purse. “I’ll call Stephen if we hear from Jake or need help. I usually leave my phone off, but I’ll keep it on tonight. Eva, won’t you please spend the night in the main house so I can get in touch with you if I need to? Plus, the dogs…”
“Yah, okay. If Stephen will let me in. I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“But we have plenty of beds upstairs. The guest room’s all made up, not to mention my room on the third floor.”
“No. Better I find a blanket and camp out on the sofa.”
Stephen scratched his scalp in a way that told me he wanted nothing to do with the conversation about where I slept, but he agreed to lend me a key to the house.
On the way to the nursery, I kept my eyes peeled to oncoming traffic, hoping to see Jake’s vehicle. But I didn’t recognize it, not that Jake would drive this route. Stephen and I traveled in silence for ten minutes, until I saw the Yoder’s Nursery sign.
“Thanks for bringing me home.” I glanced over to face him. He kept his vision on the road. His features were stern, his lips drawn tight.
“I couldn’t just leave you there, now could I?” He cruised into the nursery’s parking lot, around the house, and stopped at the cabin.
“I’m sorry if I’ve made you late.”
“You haven’t. I was going to visit a friend, but I called when I was outside and said I couldn’t make it.”
“An excuse to leave the Millers’?” I wondered if it was a guy or female friend.
“Yep.” He stopped near my cabin’s front door. “First, go in and get everything you need while I let the dogs out. I don’t want you shuttling between the cabin and the house during the night, you hear me?” He switched off the engine but made no move to exit the vehicle. “We’ll get you situated in the house and make sure the doors are locked before I leave. I’ll write down Beatrice’s and my numbers on a piece of paper and place them on the kitchen table by the phone. If anything comes up, call me first. Not much Beatrice can do other than worry.”
“Okay.”
“You have your key?”
I reached into my pocket. “Right here.” I hopped out of the pickup, proceeded into the cabin, and packed my toiletries, nightgown, slippers, and bathrobe in a brown paper grocery bag. And a scarf. At the last moment, I scooped up my book, although I doubted I could concentrate on reading. On the other hand, I might lie awake all night with skittering thoughts disturbing my slumber.
I told myself I could handle anything, but I felt adrenaline pumping in my veins. What was I afraid of? Sleeping in the big house with all its electric appliances? Getting a call in the middle of the night from Jake, saying the baby had died? Or that the child was indeed his, and he was moving away? No, Jake wouldn’t desert his invalid father and helpless mother and deprive them of a grandchild. Or would he? Jake and I had never talked about having children. Ach, so much we never discussed.
Stephen was standing on the main house’s back porch and watching the dogs when I stepped outside. I locked my door behind me. The dogs flounced over to me, and I felt a fondness for each one. I knew they would protect me from any harm and warn me if they smelled smoke. The barn fire still raged in the back of my mind when I let it. I liked to think Ralph had unwittingly set that fire, but I had no way of knowing what he might do to harm me. Not after he’d put that knife to my neck.
My arms encircled the bag as I climbed the porch steps. “I hope Harvey doesn’t disapprove of my spending the night here.” I figured he would object to this whole scenario, which was bound to get back to him.
“Don’t Amish sometimes stay in motels when traveling?” Stephen opened the door to the kitchen. The dogs scampered inside.
“Yah, I guess they do if on a long trip. I’ve even heard they watch TV occasionally.”
“No TV in this house, so no worries there.” He examined my face. “What’s got you worried?”
“Is my anxiety that obvious? Ach, I wouldn’t know where to begin.”
His phone buzzed. When he answered it, I gathered he was speaking to Beatrice. He told her he’d pick her up in the morning at six and then stuffed his phone into a pocket.
“Well?” I tried to keep my voice sounding calm, to no avail.
“Brandy had a baby girl in Jake’s car. He ushered them to the hospital, where he called Brandy’s oldest brother, Jeff. He’s coming from New York to pick up Brandy and her baby as soon as he can.” His eyes got glassy.
“What’s wrong? Is the baby okay?”
“Yes, and as it turns out, not premature and perfectly healthy.” He blinked. “Brandy named her Eva Ruth.”
“She named her baby after me and Ruth?”
“According to Jake, she said you two never judged her.”
My thoughts hurtled back to Jake and Brandy and the new baby. “Stephen, did Beatrice tell you what the baby’s last name is?”
“You mean Miller? She didn’t say. The fact you’re even wondering tells me you don’t trust or believe Jake. If I were you, I wouldn’t either.”
“Ach, I want to see the baby.” But I couldn’t tonight. Maybe ever.
“Jake might take a photo on his phone and show you,” Stephen said, as if trying to console me.
“Is he staying at the hospital?”
“For a while, but he promised to be home by the time I pick up Beatrice.” He backstepped a few feet. “Are you going to be okay alone in this big house?”
“I’m not alone. I have three canine companions to keep me company.”
“Just the same, please call me if you need anything. Any sign of Ralph, dial 9-1-1. Promise?” So he was worried about Ralph.
“Yah.” The thought of Ralph showing up made the hairs on my arms prickle.
“Evie, don’t open the door to anyone until I come in tomorrow. I’ll call and ask Wayne or whichever officer is on duty tonight to cruise through the nursery parking lot a few times. So don’t worry if you see a patrol car.”
“Yah, okay. I’ll be fine.”
“Beatrice said blankets, sheets, pillows, and clean towels are in the hall linen closet upstairs. You want me to help you find them?”
“I bet I can on my own.”
“Nah.” He headed to the stairs. “Better follow me up there and have a look around. Get the lay of the land, as they say.”
I trailed him up the wide wooden staircase. Off to the right I saw another set of stairs that must lead up to Beatrice’s quarters.
“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep in this cushy guest room?” Stephen pushed a door open and flicked on a ceiling light to expose a four-poster queen-sized bed, draped by a vibrant nine-patch quilt and wearing a pleated dust ruffle around its perimeter. I moved closer to see the quilt’s exquisite hand stitching and thought of my humble mamm, who was equally skilled but would never admit it.
The room
’s windows were framed with flamboyant flowered curtains, and the floor was covered with a plush carpet. Another door led to a bathroom. I was surely being tempted.
“Want to see the master bedroom?” Stephen asked.
“Oh, no. Not without one of the Yoders here. Or at least Beatrice.” I envisioned this scene through Bishop Harvey’s eyes. He wouldn’t approve. Nor would Beatrice.
“The master bedroom and bath is next door, and then another room for Emmy. You should come and take a look. It’s quite a beautiful space.”
“I’d better not.” Although my curiosity was piqued.
Downstairs, Heath let out a throaty woof, followed by Minnie’s yapping.
“The dogs are restless, probably because they’re waiting for Beatrice.” Stephen glanced out a window into the parking lot. “I have an idea. You sleep in this guest room, and I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“What if someone’s at the door?” I felt anxious being alone with Stephen. Being in this house, period.
“We aren’t doing anything wrong. I’ll go check.” Yet his gaze landed on mine longer than necessary, until I turned away.
An instant later, Stephen left the room and stood at the top of the stairs. “I’d better go see what the problem is.”
I considered my options as I listened to his feet patter down the staircase. If I wasn’t guilty of anything, why was I hiding in the guest room? But I decided to stay upstairs as Stephen had asked. I tiptoed down the hall, passing an aged painting of a brown-eyed girl and a pony. I peeked into the master bedroom and saw a king-sized bed covered by an exquisite Double Wedding Ring quilt. Paintings and ornaments adorned the bedroom. I saw wall plugs, telling me everything was electric. I shouldn’t be here.
Near the bed stood a cradle. Rose and Glenn must sleep with their little Emmy near them until she grew old enough to sleep in a crib. I thought that if I ever had a child, I’d do the same thing. I’d heard of babies ceasing to breathe during the night. Sudden infant death syndrome, it was called. Ach, that would be more heartbreaking than dying barren.