The Lies We Believe

by Eden Rose

  Just talking about the silvery cuts on her hips makes me disgusted inside. How could someone like Audrey hate herself enough to cut herself? It makes me sick to my stomach that people didn’t believe her when she told that she was raped.

  Thinking about how broken she was and how broken I was before we found her, I rub my tattoo of the torn painting canvas. I got it as an act of rebellion when my perfect mother told me that she didn’t raise her son to be a painter. It wasn’t as prestigious as a dentist. At seventeen, I was just stepping into my own and didn’t want to disappoint my mother.

  After my mother and father expelled me from the will, I joined the Army to pay for schooling. Dentistry is a very expensive school and I needed all the help I could get. Luckily, they paid for my whole schooling and I was able to minor in art.

  “I’m Dr. Bishop and I have been assigned to Audrey’s case. I’m glad you are here and we are able to go over some of the details regarding her.”

  My hand hovers over her torso and then bumps against her stomach. I’m horrified to feel a bump there. Not just any bump, either. “What is this?” I demand and then lean off of my arm to use my other arm to pull back the blankets.

  Dr. Bishop looks over his charts again and then takes a deep breath. “I assume that due to your reaction, you didn’t know that your wife is six months along?”

  “Are you fucking serious?” I screech and then bolt off of the bed. I need space for a second to comprehend what was just said. “You mean to tell me that my wife was kidnapped and now she’s pregnant?”

  I do the math in my head and then sigh a sign of relief. There’s a huge possibility that the baby is mine and I feel much better. But that was until I remembered that she’s been kidnapped and there’s a good possibility that she wasn’t taken care of.

  “Tell me everything you know,” I demand.

  “It’s a rather long list that I have gathered from doing the exams. Are you sure you want to hear it?” Dr. Bishop looks out to the hallway and tilts his head towards me. “Is this her brother standing out here flashing me his badge?”

  “Yes. He can come in here and listen to what you have to say.”

  Garrett walks in and his eyes zero on Audrey lying helplessly in bed. “Oh shit. My little sister!” He runs over to where I’m standing and his hands roam over her arms as if he’s searching for anything out of the ordinary. “Is she okay?”

  I take a deep breath and then tell him something that he’s probably not going to want to hear. “She’s pregnant.”

  “Fuck me!”

  “No! It’s mine. The time adds up right and the doctor says she’s six months.”

  Dr. Bishop, who I’m guessing is a saint, says: “We need to go over what her injuries are and how we are going to help her recover from them.”

  Garrett and I both take a seat on opposite sides of the bed and I sit with my chest leaning against her side. She winces in her sleep and it causes me to cringe at that. “What are her injuries?”

  “It’s a long list.”

  “Do it!”

  The doctor walks over to the other side of the room and grabs a chair to roll towards us. As he sits down, Garrett and I are both beginning to stress out. “Just tell us one thing, was she sexually…”

  My head snaps up and I look at Garrett with wide eyes. “Oh god damn it! I didn’t even think about that!”

  “According to her records, she was not. Of course, I’m going off her injuries. There was no new scarring or anything. I will know more when the kit comes back.”

  “Just tell me what her injuries are,” I ask.

  “First, she has two cracked ribs from being continually beat up. Her left lung is punctured due to the ribs being cracked. The left arm and leg are broken in three spots. She will need therapy to get back to full strength. Other than that, I don’t see anything else besides her nose being broken.”

  “What about the baby?” I ask and place my hand over the swell in her stomach. As I do, I imagine her growing our child. Our child is all curled up in her and she’s kept him safe all of this time.

  Don’t ask me why I think it’s a boy. For some reason, I believe in my heart that she’s carrying a boy.

  Dr. Bishop looks over at Garrett who shrugs and then places his hands on his sister’s stomach as well. After all of the bull shit between Garrett and I, I think we have an understanding. Something that has glued us together and that’s Audrey.

  “The baby is fine. Even though she’s had next to none prenatal treatment, the baby is growing at the right pace and seems to be healthy. We will know more when we get her bones set and casted. It’s hard to do an ultrasound with a person not awake.”

  Now, I’m curious. “Why is she still sleeping? Did you put her in a coma?”

  “Due to her current state and the discomfort that she’s been feeling, it’s best that she were in a medically induced coma. We are hoping to get her lungs and ribs in better shape before we bring her out.”

  “So, what do we do?” Garrett asks with his hands on his phone. I know that he’s called his parents and that they are probably on the phone listening.

  The doctor stands up out of his chair is walking towards us with a helpful look on his face. “We wait and hope that she feels better.”

  Audrey

  Am I dreaming? Is that what’s happening right now? Did I dream everything and it was just a horrific nightmare that I was kidnapped? I don’t even know anymore.

  The light that is shone in my eyes is what wakes me up from my sleep that I forced myself into. I’ve been trying hard to sleep as much as I could but I don’t know if it’s helping the situation.

  The situation, you might ask?

  About four months ago, I noticed that I haven’t had my period. I know the exact date because Liz has it circled on the calendar by my bed as if it’s a trophy.

  “How’s the baby?” She asks me and leans over me to put her hands on the little bump that’s growing.

  I don’t know how to answer that question so I just nod. How do you answer that question?

  “Pretty soon you will be able to leave here. After you have her, you can leave.”

  My head swirls with the knowledge of what was just said. “You mean to tell me that you expected to leave with my baby inside you?” She asks me.

  That was four months ago. We are now past the morning sickness and I can keep some food down. The good news about being pregnant, is that the beatings have become less frequent. I’m positive that my broken bones have been broken for far too long and are never going to be like they were.

  As another act of torture, Liz has been showing me the videos that she recorded of she and Damien having sex. That’s something that will be burned in my mind’s eye forever. There are some of she and him having three somes with that guy named Kurt too.

  I can’t handle it anymore.

  “Are you ready for some more videos?”

  I make a noncommittal noise but it wasn’t enough for Liz because she came storming over to me. “I’ve been nothing but patient with you, you dumb fucking bitch. All you’ve done is take, take, take! How could you have a baby with the man that I love and marry him?”

  “You’re delusional!” I scream.

  After the words come out of my mouth, I instantly see what I did wrong. I broke my no-talking to her and now she’s going to get even more mad at me.

  “That’s it. It’s time for you to be punished!” Liz screams at me and punches me in the face with her closed fist.

  I scream out loud with the impact but she storms away from me as if I’m not screaming. The part that concerns me the most, this bitch is crazy. I don’t even want to think about what she would do to my baby.

  A baby that I haven’t got to meet. A baby that deserves a chance at a normal life.

  When she comes back in, she’s got her computer in her hand and a disc that she’s flopping around. “This will show you that I’m not playing games. This will most definitely show you that I’m
not delusional!”

  She sets the computer up so it’s right in front of me and sticks the disc into the side of it. With a click of her fingers, it’s starting up and I’m about to be sick to my stomach.

  “You… you!” I begin and can’t even finish what I was saying.

  “Audrey, baby. Please. Don’t leave me like this…”

  The fog won out and I fell back asleep. This time I didn’t dream of what happened with Liz. This time I didn’t see the images of Liz and Damien fucking. No, this time I dreamed that I was happy.

  Damien

  Her eyes kept twitching. I could see her eyelids moving because of her eyes rolling around. It was only a matter of time before she woke up and I could tell her how sorry I was that all of this has happened to her.

  Garrett and I have an understanding that we won’t go and find Liz to kill her like we should right now. We decided that our time should be spent with Audrey and ensuring that she comes out of this.

  When I get my hands on Liz, I want to strangle her mother fucking neck for kidnapping my wife and holding her hostage. Fuck her and her beliefs that she’s a better person and never did anything wrong. She can say as many times as she wanted that I was the one that messed everything up between us.

  Which she has, by the way. I know for a fact that Liz has been spreading her lies to anyone that would listen to her.

  “How’s she doing?” My mother asks me as she sits next to me.

  “Same as before but this time she’s moving her eyes.”

  My mother smiles a little at Audrey and then looks back up at me with a dreamy look on her face. “I may not like how quickly you guys got married or the fact that she started off as your intern, but she’s not a bad daughter-in-law. I always wanted a daughter.”

  It’s my turn to smile at my mother for saying something slightly nice regarding my wife. “Do you think she’s going to be okay?” I ask quietly.

  If my mother, one of the ultimate negative people out there believes that she has a chance, then there’s some hope. As it was, I’m worried about my mother missing out on chemotherapy appointments to be here with me. What’s with this nice woman?

  “In order for something to happen the way you want them to, you have to make it right within your head. That is the only way that we can survive, Damien. I’m telling you out of experience, if you want something, do it. Get it. Don’t let someone else get in your way. Not even a coma.”

  I sat there flabbergasted at what she just said. Holy shit. She just said something nice! I can’t believe it. All throughout my childhood and adulthood, she has constantly put me down and degraded me. This is definitely a weird turn.

  She places her hand on Audrey’s stomach and then squeezes it a little. “Hold on, little girl. It’s almost time.”

  Before I can say anything, she’s gotten off her chair and is walking out the door.

  “Damien?”

  My head whirls and thoughts begin to collide. “What?” I ask and then look over at Audrey who has a small crack in her eyelids. “Oh my fucking god, baby. You are okay!”

  I immediately lean over and begin to kiss her face but she stiffens and tries to scoot to the other side of the bed. “What was that for?” I ask her. There’s no way in hell that she’s going to be gone as long as she has been and not expect me to want to kiss her.

  “I think it’s time for you to go,” she whispers.

  “Why?” I demand. I’m getting frustrated and confused over the fact that this is not going how I expected it to go. I expected her to wake up and demand I take her home so I could take care of her.

  “Shit.”

  Audrey

  The words that are about to come out of my mouth make me sick to my stomach. I know what I have to do and I can’t do them questioning Damien every single second that he’s touching me.

  “I just don’t want you touching me anymore.”

  Damien shoots out of his chair and then kneels on the bed on his knees. “The amount of medicine that they gave you is clouding everything. Everything will be all right.” While he’s speaking, he’s rubbing the baby bump.

  For just a quick minute, I totally forgot that I had another life. “Yeah, I’m pregnant…”

  “Did… uh, did anything happen while you were there?”

  My head begins to cloud with the reasoning behind his questioning. “What are you talking about?” I squint my eyes and scrunch my head as I try to figure out what he’s talking about.

  “You know, did they touch you… inappropriately?”

  “No! God no!”

  The doctor comes into the room and begins addressing my wounds and he looks over at Damien. “Sir, do you mind leaving the room so I could converse with my patient?”

  Damien immediately begins to shake his head. “No, I’m not leaving my wife. I’m going to be here with her until she’s out of here and if you don’t like it-”

  “Damien!” I yell out interrupting his rude ass.

  “Miss, would you like him to leave the room?”

  I consider this option. I want him to leave me so I can have a moment to myself and get everything right in my head. I don’t want to be around him because all I can see is he and Liz fucking. I can’t… I can’t be around him.

  The monitors to the left of me begin to bing and bleep and the doctor looks over at the monitors. “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. We can not have Miss. Michaels’s heart rate so high.”

  “I’m not leaving my wife!” He exclaims and stands up so he’s in the doctor’s face. Luckily, the doctor is as tall as Damien so there’s not much of an intimidation scare.

  “Please, Damien. I can’t be around you right now. It’s too much. I don’t know how to explain it.” I know that I’m being a bitch for putting my new doctor in the position of playing referee but I need him to go.

  “Fine. I will go. I will tell you one thing, Audrey Alexander,” Damien stresses the Alexander, “I don’t know what happened to you and I want to find out. But nothing you can say or do will make me love you any less. I love you, baby.”

  As my husband turns on his heels and leaves, I begin to cry. I know that what I did was totally unfair and I can’t stop being a bitch. Being around him is more overwhelming than what happened to me and I can’t do it.

  I just can’t fucking do it.

  Damien

  I don’t know what crawled up her ass but she pissed me right off. How could she push me away like that? I’m just trying to understand what happened to her.

  However… It is my fault that she’s in this situation. The notes that she received even before we got back together begin to flash through my mind like note cards. Every single one of them were asking her for money and we didn’t do a damn thing to stop it. But I didn’t wait two seconds to marry her.

  Selfishly, I had wanted Audrey all along. For five years, I couldn’t even go on a date with a woman much less sleep with her without wanting Audrey. The mere thought of being intimate with a woman made my stomach churn like a little fucking bitch.

  The minute I walked out into the waiting room, I walked over to the wall and punched it. My fist shot through the plaster as if it were a paper and then I felt my hand shatter.

  “What the fuck happened?” Liz asks me as she runs over to me and begins to fuss over my hand.

  Audrey’s feisty friend fawns over my hand and begins to look at the damage that I had caused it. Yet another thing that I have broken and destroyed.

  “She’s pregnant,” I whisper out loud and then hang my head. I’m too ashamed that she’s pregnant and I’m too much of a chicken shit to ask her if it’s mine. I have to know… Don’t I have the right to know if my wife’s baby is mine? I would think so.

  Garrett and his parents rush over towards me and the look of disgust on their faces is enough to make me sicker than fuck. I could tell that they are pissed off at me for knocking up their daughter even though we’re married. I can tell that they are thinking that all I
have ever done is wreck Audrey’s life.

  All I had wanted to do with this whole marriage is to prove to her that I’m worthy of being with her. All I have done and shown is that I’m a fucking mess who doesn’t deserve her.

  If Audrey doesn’t take me back and allow me to be in our child’s life… There is only one thing that is left for me to do and I would do it. Just so I don’t obliterate her or our baby with my poison.

  Audrey

  I can feel the eyes of the doctor judging me as he goes over my charts. I know what he’s thinking and that is that I’m a bitch. What he doesn’t know is that I have been through hell and continue to go through it every day.