Going Rogue

by Chantal Fernando

  “There’s one in every family,” Celina comments, jumping down from the counter and opening the fridge. “I’m going to pour myself a vodka, do you want to have one with me, Zoe?”

  I nod. “Sure, why not.” I’m going to assume she didn’t ask Erin because she knows that she’s pregnant, so at least I’m not the only one who knows what’s going on here.

  “Yeah, Celina knows too,” Erin says to me, puffing out a breath. “Do you know how good that alcohol smells right now? I swear, after I have this baby, I’m going to have the biggest, iciest glass of vodka.”

  “After you finish breastfeeding, you mean,” Celina reminds her, laughing at the distraught look on Erin’s face. “You’ll be fine. You’ll be so in love with your baby that you won’t even care that you won’t be going out and shit, trust me. I can’t wait to start buying stuff for you. I hope it’s a little girl.”

  “Ace doesn’t want a girl because he said he’ll have to go to prison when he kills whoever she decides to date,” Erin says, rubbing the back of her neck. “He can be so dramatic sometimes. He’s worrying about something that’s, like, sixteen years in the future.”

  “Sixteen? I think girls date a lot younger nowadays,” Celina points out, wincing. She hands me my glass.

  “Thank you,” I tell her, bringing it straight to my lips and taking a sip. “And I think Celina is right, but hey, let future you worry about it. Right now you need to worry about telling your parents and facing the lectures and looks of disapproval.”

  Celina laughs under her breath. “Dude, I can just imagine your mom. She’s going to blame this whole thing on the fact that you’re spending time with your dad and hanging around bikers. And that you’re getting married to one.”

  “That’s another thing: Now my wedding will have to be put on hold,” Erin grumbles, glancing between the two of us. “I can’t walk down the aisle pregnant. I won’t even be able to fit into the dress I’ve been looking at. What have I done? Damn Ace and his delicious penis. He’s corrupted my mind.”

  “Don’t tell your mom that.” Celina smirks, already halfway through her drink.

  Knuckles comes storming in, pausing when he sees his woman. “There you are. I was wondering where you were.”

  “I’m chatting with ladies,” she replies, glancing down into her glass. “And having my first drink in a long-ass time, and it tastes like liquid gold.”

  “I just spoke to the babysitter, and the kids are fine, so you can relax and let your hair down,” he tells her, coming to stand behind her and kissing the side of her neck. “Or keep it up, because I like it like this.”

  “Ew, get a room,” Erin tells them, fiddling with the hem of her denim dress. “Come on, Zoe, let’s go see what trouble the men are getting into out there while these two enjoy some kid-free time.”

  We follow the noise, which leads us outside to the backyard. Someone has lit a bonfire, and there’s music playing.

  “There you are,” Rogue murmurs, bringing me up against him. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry about today. And while I can’t change my past, I can let you know if it directly affects you. Deal?”

  “Deal,” I reply, resting my head against his chest. “And I’m sorry that I can be unreasonable about the whole you-sleeping-with-a-lot-of-women thing. I guess I get a little jealous, and that kind of clouds my common sense.”

  “I like that you get a little jealous,” he rumbles in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. “Not too much, just a little bit. It means you care, and are as crazy about me as I am about you, because I want to beat the shit out of anyone who’s gotten a taste of you, of what’s mine. So I get it, but we both need to control ourselves, because it is what it is, we’re in our late twenties, and we’ve both dated prior to this. So we gotta be realistic. I mean, I like that I’m able to pleasure you, and that comes with experience, you know?”

  “I know,” I grumble. “But you don’t have to keep reminding me. The sign you made speaks wonders.”

  “Ah, come on, my sign was great, admit it.” He chuckles, clearly thinking that he’s fucking hilarious. “It made you laugh, and that’s all that matters.”

  “It was laugh or cry,” I reply in a dry tone, lifting my head up so he can see in my eyes that I’m only messing around. “And now the whole MC knows that you’ve been around the block and back.”

  “We already knew that,” Prez calls out as he stands next to us. Vanessa is beside him, and I have to wonder what the hell she’s been up to. “But he’s a reformed Rogue now, aren’t you?”

  “Yeah, I guess I should have known when his damn name is Rogue.” I sigh and look to Vanessa. “The hot ones are always trouble.”

  “Works both ways,” she replies, winking at me.

  “Well, we all know that you’re trouble,” I say, glancing between her and Prez. “Exhibit A.”

  “Your sister could teach all the women here a thing or two,” Prez says to me, smiling at Vanessa. “Imagine if all of you could fight like her. We’d have to worry a little less every time you guys leave the clubhouse. I think she should teach you how to fight.”

  “I’ve tried to teach Zoe,” Vanessa explains, crossing her arms and studying me. “She’s a ballet dancer, so she’s probably stronger than me, to be honest, but she’s gentle, and doesn’t like conflict.”

  “You’re a ballet dancer?” Prez asks me, his brows lifting. “That’s impressive.”

  “A gentle ballet dancer, apparently,” I say in a droll tone. I turn back to Rogue. “I better get home soon, or I’m going to be dead tired tomorrow at work.”

  “I’m coming home with you,” he tells me, hands sliding to my hips. He leans down and whispers into my ear, “If you think I’m going to miss out on makeup sex, you have another thing coming.”

  I smile and roll my eyes. “All right, I’m not going to say no to that. But I should probably eat something.”

  “Come on, let’s go see what’s left,” he says, leading me by the hand back inside. We find a tray of mini-sandwiches, quiche, and sausage rolls that we dig into, alone in the kitchen.

  After we say goodbye to everyone, including my sister, who is staying behind to party, I get into my car and open the brown paper bag that Rogue gave me after I finished work.

  Inside is a blue and white teddy bear.

  I pull it out and smile, thinking how cute it is. It has a little zipper on its stomach, so I unzip it. Inside I find a key and a note that reads:

  It doesn’t matter who had me before you, because no one will have me after you.

  I love you, Zoe, and no one else.

  Here’s a key to the most important thing I own, my bike.

  What’s mine is yours.

  Love, Rogue.

  I look out the window at Rogue, who is getting on his bike, ready to ride to my apartment.

  “I love you,” I mouth to him.

  “I love you too,” he replies, winking at me.

  After all the emotions of today, a shower and bed with Rogue sounds like heaven.

  I turn on my car and get my ass home.

  22

  That week, after my ballet class, I come back to my apartment to find Rogue sitting on my couch. After he gave me the key to his bike, I got a spare key made for my home and gave it to him, since Vanessa wouldn’t give me back any of her spares.

  “Look at you,” he rumbles, standing up and doing a full circle around me. It’s the first time he’s seen me come straight from class, so only now is he seeing me in my nude leotard with my hair up in a bun. I’m barefoot, but my ballet shoes are in hand, the ribbons touching the floor. “Holy shit, how come you haven’t paraded around the house in this until now?”

  “I don’t know, I always come home, jump in the shower, and get changed before I see you, I guess,” I tell him, glancing down at myself to see what all the fuss is about. “I didn’t know you were going to be here tonight.”

  “I know, I just dropped in to see you before I have to head off,” he exp
lains, hands on my hips, bringing me flush against him. I can feel just how badly he likes me in the leotard, which I find amusing. “And to tell you that I want to take you out tomorrow night on a dinner date.”

  “Before you head off where?” I ask him, confused. “And dinner sounds nice.”

  “Remember how I told you we were helping the Wind Dragons find out if they have a rat or undercover cop in their MC? They’ve gotten four new prospects, and they think it’s one of them. Their president, Arrow, said there’s no way in hell it could be one of the full-fledged members.”

  “And you believe him?”

  “He would know his men,” Rogue replies, shrugging. “I don’t know what to think. We just need to get to the bottom of the thing so we can continue doing deals. They’re a good connection to have.”

  “What’s the plan you guys have come up with to out this guy?” I ask, squealing as Rogue lifts me up and places me on my dining table. “What are you doing?”

  “Kissing you hello,” he murmurs, placing his lips against mine and diving inside, giving me a deep, hungry hello kiss. “I missed you today.”

  “You better have,” I say, kissing along his jawline. “I missed you too.”

  “Good,” he replies, grinning and giving me another quick peck before explaining, “Basically we’ve come up with a fake deal, but no one knows about it except a select few. Everyone else thinks it’s another legit gun deal. So we’re going to see what happens and if the cops show up or not, except if they do, we actually don’t have any guns or anything on us, so we can’t get into any shit.”

  “What are you going to tell them? That you guys are just hanging out? I assume wherever this fake deal is taking place, it’s going to be shady, like the back of a warehouse or something, so I’d love to know how you’re going to explain that,” I say, my brow furrowing. “And what if they recognize you from last time? Did you think of that?”

  “They have no proof,” he says, cupping my face in his hands. “And we’ll just say we’re discussing bikes or some shit. Again, they’ll know that we’re being shady, but they have no fuckin’ proof, so they can’t do shit.”

  “I hope you’re right,” I tell him, hoping that nothing bad happens during this plan they’ve come up with. “And if the cop shows up, how are you going to know which prospect he is? And what will they do with him?”

  “That’s their problem,” he says, running his hand through his blond hair. “Arrow will handle that, I’m sure he has his own plan, and then they will owe us a marker, which we can call on if we ever need them for anything.”

  “Of course you have your own agenda,” I mutter, rolling my eyes. “Just be careful, Rogue.”

  He rests his forehead against mine. “Told you, of course I’m going to be careful. It’s not just me anymore.”

  “Okay, good,” I reply, pushing him back with my palm on his chest and sliding off the table. “Now, do you have time to help me out of this leotard? Or do you have to be on your way to execute your plan?”

  “I really want to stay and help you out, but—”

  His phone starts to ring.

  “But you better get going,” I tell him, dropping my coat to the floor and walking away so he can see my ass, which is basically all on show.

  “Fuckin’ hell,” he growls, and I can hear the frustration in his tone. I turn around to face him, standing in the doorway of my bedroom, and start to remove each strap, sliding them down my shoulders until my nude bra shows.

  “You know where to find me!” I call out, then disappear into my bathroom. I hear him cursing and snicker to myself as he calls out, “I’ll be back later tonight, Zoe,” and then hear the door close as he leaves. As I stand in the shower, letting the hot water run down my skin, I just hope that all goes well tonight and they get whomever this person is who can’t be trusted, so Rogue doesn’t have to worry about the whole situation anymore.

  And so I don’t have to worry either.

  I wake up in the morning and reach for Rogue, but he’s nowhere to be found. Did he get up already? Or maybe he just decided to go home. I check my phone—nothing. I try to call him, but his phone is off. I search my apartment for signs of him, double-checking that he hasn’t just woken up early and is in the kitchen or something, but nothing. His keys aren’t around, and there’s no indication that he came back here at all. A bad feeling settles inside of me, and it’s then that I realize I don’t even have anyone’s number, not even Erin’s. I ring Vanessa instead, and she answers straight away.

  “Hello? You called at a bad time, can I call you back?” she says.

  “Do you have any of the Cursed Ravens’ phone numbers? Any of them?” I ask her, ignoring her request to call me back.

  “I have Prez’s phone number.” She chuckles to herself. “I’ll send it to you. Is everything okay? Let me call you back after I finish in the bathroom.”

  She hangs up on me but sends me the number a few seconds later, which I ring instantly.

  “Yes?” Prez barks down the line.

  “Hey, it’s Zoe. Do you know where Rogue is? His phone is off, and I have no idea where he is,” I ask, hoping that he’s just asleep and his phone died or something, which is going to be kind of embarrassing, but at least I’ll know that he’s okay, because right now my mind is roaming and coming up with all these other bad ideas for what could have gone wrong last night.

  “Hey, Zoe,” Prez says, gentling his tone. “Rogue, Ace, and Knuckles got arrested last night, but don’t worry, they’re getting out today. The police just kept them overnight and tried to get some shit on them but couldn’t find anything.”

  Fuck.

  “They all spent the night in jail?” I ask, confused as to what happened, considering Rogue was sure that the cops wouldn’t be able to get him. “Rogue said there’s no way they could arrest him!”

  “The cops took them in, but they didn’t really have any basis for it. They thought they’d find guns, but there weren’t any, so apparently they got pissed and just arrested them anyway. They can’t keep them, though, so don’t stress, all right? Our lawyer is there right now, getting them all out. Do you want me to send Shack over to stay with you until Rogue gets back?”

  I wrinkle my nose at the mention of Shack. “No, thank you, I’m fine. Just tell him to either come here or call me, please.”

  “No worries. Call me back if you need anything,” Prez says before he hangs up on me.

  Vanessa calls back straight after. “Sorry, I needed both hands to wipe. Okay, so what happened?”

  “Rogue, Ace, and Knuckles were arrested last night, but they’re getting let out today,” I tell her, rubbing the back of my neck. “I guess their plan wasn’t foolproof after all.”

  “Well, he’s getting out today, so don’t stress, Zoe,” Vanessa tells me as I lie back down on my bed and stare up at the ceiling. “He’s going to get into trouble every now and again, it kind of comes with the territory.”

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” I tell her. “I just don’t want anything to happen to him is all.”

  “He’s not just a member, he’s the VP,” she reminds me. “You need to make sure you understand what that means in terms of being his girl. You’re basically dating the club, and if he gets into shit, you need to stand by him. And if that’s not your thing, which is completely understandable, you need to walk away.”

  “I’m not going to walk away from Rogue,” I say adamantly. “I love him. You don’t just walk away from that.”

  “Well, then you have your answer.”

  Yeah, I guess I do.

  And I better get used to it.

  23

  Rogue doesn’t come to my house.

  He doesn’t call.

  And I start to freak out, so I call Prez again.

  No answer.

  At this point, I have no idea what to do, so I call Vanessa and ask her to come to the clubhouse with me. She says yes, but only if we can stop for ice cream on the way. I agree, and
she comes to pick me up so we can ride together. When I slide into her car, she’s wearing the most ridiculous outfit, an all-black catsuit and red sunglasses, but I don’t bother commenting. We make her ice cream stop, and she returns to the car with a salted caramel for her and a hazelnut for me. She eats her treat as we head to the clubhouse.

  “Who’s going to put the code in so we can get in?” Vanessa asks when we get there. She tries to ring Prez again, but no luck, and we don’t have anyone else’s number. This is bullshit.

  “I have no idea. Do we have a plan B?” I ask her, getting out of the car.

  She follows me out and starts yelling, “Someone let us in!” Then, tapping her fingernail on her lips, she comments, “What if no one is here?”

  “Someone is always here,” I tell her, shifting on my feet. “As far as I know, anyway.” I push on the gate, and it opens. Eyes wide, I turn to her. “It wasn’t even locked.”

  “Something must have happened,” she murmurs, frowning. “Also, you’re lucky that wasn’t an electric fence.”

  “I didn’t even think of that,” I muse, walking inside the clubhouse with Vanessa at my side. The front door is open too, and goose bumps appear on my skin.

  “Let me go first,” my sister demands, stepping in front of me with her hands clenched in front of her in a boxing stance. She nods to the right and I follow her, bracing myself for whatever might happen. We hear a ruffling noise, scaring the shit out of me, and change directions to see what it is. The clubhouse is deserted, there’s no one in sight, and I have no idea what has happened here. I hear footsteps, so I pause and wait for them to approach. Vanessa pushes me back against a wall with her in front of me, ready to pummel whoever comes at us.

  “Vanessa?” I hear in a confused voice as Erin walks out from the hallway. “Zoe? Oh my God, I thought someone had broken in.”

  I rush to her side. “Where is everyone? What happened?”

  “No one told you?” she asks, eyes going wide. “That’s it, give me your numbers. Both of you.”