by Cathy Cole
“You might have told me before you started inviting people,” he said. “I might have made plans.”
Lila felt a sudden rush of anger. “We always do stuff you want to do,” she snapped. “So tonight, we’re doing something for me instead. Just because you’re doing your fancy course at the uni doesn’t mean you’re more important than me!”
“Where did that come from?” Josh protested, looking hurt. “I never said I was more important than you.”
Lila wanted to scream. She took several deep breaths to calm herself down. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I just … Josh, I really want to do this. OK? Can you at least try to enjoy yourself?”
Her phone buzzed four times in swift succession. Iris had clearly been busy spreading the word about the beach party, to judge from the names scrolling up her screen. She hadn’t heard from half these guys in months.
Suddenly, Lila started to feel worried. Was mixing old and new friends such a good idea? What if everyone hated each other? She’d changed a lot since leaving London. Maybe they’d changed too.
“It’s going to be a great night, Josh,” she said. “Trust me.”
But she crossed her fingers, just in case.
ELEVEN
The cove was booming with music from Leo’s decks, which he’d set up in the shade of the cliffs. There were at least a hundred kids here, Lila estimated, looking around at the mass of faces. She’d dressed in one of her favourite outfits from her London days: a slightly sheer red dress her father had always loudly disapproved of. With her hair tousled to within an inch of its life and the biggest hoop earrings she owned swinging from her ears, she felt more alive than she had in weeks.
The sun had lived up to its earlier promises, and the cove was blazing with sunshine that glinted off the pools of rainwater that had gathered among the rocks. The dazzling effect made Lila feel like she was dancing among diamonds.
Iris’s hair was halfway down her back now, the ends dip-dyed green. With her sharp green eyes outlined in electric-blue mascara, she looked like a wild-eyed mermaid. Lila had so much she wanted to talk to her old friend about, but the music was too loud for much in the way of conversation. Besides, Iris was more of a dancer than a talker.
She was gasping for a drink. Tearing herself away from the dancing, she wandered across the sand to where Josh was perched on a rock.
“Don’t you ever put that sketchbook down?” Lila said, swigging from a water bottle. “Josh, it’s a party! Come and dance with me.”
Ignoring the hand she had playfully extended towards him, Josh eyed the cliffs. “That music’s so loud it’s going to start a rockfall,” he commented.
Lila couldn’t help a brief glance at the rockface directly above Leo’s decks. Rain was notorious for causing rockfalls along this coast, and there’d been plenty of it that morning. If Leo’s music dislodged something, half the party would be crushed in seconds.
“Great,” she said, pouting. “You just punctured my party mojo big-time. I hope you’re proud of yourself.”
“I’m not setting out to puncture anything,” Josh said mildly. “I’m just pointing out the obvious.”
Lila could feel herself starting to seethe. Ever since the party had started, Josh had been sitting on the rocks and ignoring everyone. It was making her look bad. Even Iris – not famous for noticing much beyond her own enjoyment – had remarked on it.
“I don’t think your boyfriend likes the way we smell,” she’d said as Leo had started cranking up the volume and the dancing had grown wilder.
Lila had flushed. “He’s not into parties.”
“He’s a right barrel of laughs,” Iris had replied. The cat-like gleam in her green eyes had spoken volumes, none of it good.
Iris is right, Lila thought mutinously. Why does Josh have to be so serious all the time?
“You’re so … uptight,” she complained now. “We’re just having fun. Remember fun?” She waggled her hands in the air, jazz-style.
Josh looked directly into Lila’s heavily made-up eyes. “I don’t like this kind of fun.”
“Why not?”
“You’re different when you’re with them.” He considered her. “And not good different.”
Lila felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her. All she was doing was trying to enjoy herself. OK, so she was dressed differently, with different make-up maybe … but this was a party. Who did Josh think he was?
“Fine,” she said through clenched teeth. “Be like that. I don’t need you to have fun.”
Josh had already returned to his drawing. “I never said you did,” he replied.
Lila opened her mouth for a crushing retort, but couldn’t think of anything to say. Deciding silence was as effective a weapon as any, she stalked back to Iris and the other dancers.
“Who’s been raining on your parade?” asked Iris, amused by the look on Lila’s face.
“Shut up and let’s dance,” Lila grumbled.
They danced as the sun set over the sea. Someone built a large bonfire by the water’s edge as the tide crept out, and several dancers relocated to the flames, to cast weird, swaying shadows on the rocks. There were more people now, drawn by the flames and the boom of the music. When a few pebbles rained down on the crowd from the cliffs overhead, Leo moved his decks to a safer spot. The party resumed, louder and wilder than before.
A few partygoers headed for the main beach and the town, seeking out kebabs and fish and chips. When they returned, they seemed to bring twice as many people with them. It was getting difficult to see the sand for the crowd. There was no sign of the Heartside gang. Lila found herself watching the cliff path like a hawk as people poured in from the main beach, beer bottles glinting in their hands.
“Flynn, have you seen Josh?” she shouted.
Flynn flipped his long sweaty dark hair out of his eyes. “Josh who?”
“My—the guy I came to the party with.” Something stopped Lila from saying “boyfriend”.
“Long gone,” said Iris, snaking up with her arms around Flynn’s waist. “Find someone else, Lil. He was as boring as a stick. There’s plenty of hotties here to choose from.”
A panicky feeling settled in Lila’s stomach. “Gone?” she repeated. “What, left the party?”
“You mean the lanky dude with the sketch pad?” said Flynn. He’d never been very quick on the uptake. “Yeah, he went. He took the path back to town.”
Lila shouldered her way along the path towards the main beach, hunting for Josh’s familiar hat, her emotions see-sawing from anger to fear. Why had Josh left?
He’s had enough of you, whispered the voice in her head.
“Hey, hi … anyone seen a guy with a sketch pad and a hat? Anyone seen a guy with a hat?”
She met blank faces most of the way along the path, but repeated her question doggedly. When she found him, she would… She didn’t know what she’d do, but it wouldn’t be good.
“Hi,” she said to a group of girls heading towards her with kebabs in their hands. “Have you seen a tall guy in glasses and a hat?”
“Is he cute?” said one. Her friends laughed.
Josh’s electric green eyes twinkled in Lila’s head. “Yes,” she said, a little reluctantly.
“Saw a cute guy in a hat leaving in a car,” offered the tallest girl in the pack.
Lila felt puzzled. Maybe Josh’s grandfather had a car. “Who was driving?” she asked.
“She was tall and blonde, is all I know. Nice car too. Red.”
Lila felt bewildered. She? “Are we talking about the same guy?” she said.
“How would I know?” the girl asked with a shrug. “He was tall, he had a hat. Can we go now?”
Lila bit her lip in vexation as the girls moved on down the path. The guy in the car wouldn’t have been Josh, she felt sure of it.
He didn’t know any blonde girls who drove red cars.
She wandered around the town beach for a while, shivering in her short blue dress. Then she trudged back to the secret cove.
The crowd seemed to have doubled again. Older kids she didn’t know were pushing and shoving each other around the bonfire, beer bottles glinting in their hands. Lila tried and failed to spot Iris or Flynn in the crowd. There was no sign of the Heartside High crowd either. Even Leo had vanished. There was a girl in blonde dreads working his decks instead. Judging from the noise, the party was getting out of control.
This was only meant to be a bit of fun, she thought helplessly.
What had she started?
TWELVE
Huddled among the rocks with her arms wrapped tightly around her knees, watching the shouting crowd yelling and laughing, jumping in the sea and climbing the rocks, Lila had never felt so alone. Every time she heard the sound of a smashing bottle, she flinched again.
The secret cove will be covered in broken glass for ever, she thought miserably. And everyone will hate me for it. Why had she suggested a party? Why had she idealized her London friends the way that she had?
She of all people should have remembered how Iris never knew when to stop. The party disaster in London had partly been Iris’s fault. I put the invite on Facebook, babes. You don’t mind, do you? Lila had minded, a lot. She’d minded even more when the partygoers trashed her parents’ house and her dad’s job with the police force came under threat because of all the underage drinkers in his home. Flynn went along with anything Iris suggested. Leo … she’d hardly even seen him tonight. What strange demon had made her bring all this chaos back into her life?
I wanted to feel more alive, she thought, shivering in the evening wind blowing off the sea. Now I just wish I was in bed, curled up under my duvet and watching The Blonde Game on the TV. That stupid reality show made her think of Josh, and how he’d left her alone tonight. It made her feel even worse.
I’m lonely, she realized sadly. How pathetic is that?
“Hey, party girl,” said a familiar voice. “What are you doing curled up in there like a little clam in a shell?”
Ollie was grinning at her over the top of the rocks. Polly was next to him, holding his hand and staring wide-eyed at the party. Becca and Eve, and Rhi and Brody were just behind Ollie and Polly on the path. Lila was so relieved to see them all that she almost burst into tears.
“Thank God you came,” she gabbled. She stood up with difficulty. Her legs had cramped from sitting in one place for so long. “Where have you guys been?”
“We were at a movie,” said Ollie. “We only got your text when we left the cinema. We met this lot on the way over.” He frowned at the chaos on the beach. “Did World War Three start without us?”
“Lila, do you know all these people?” asked Polly in awe.
“I don’t even know the people I know,” Lila said. She was feeling better already.
Polly looked confused. “What?”
“I think she’s being ironic,” Eve said. She looked distastefully at a couple snogging a few yards from her feet. “Must they do that here?”
“I don’t recall you and Max having a problem snogging on this beach,” said Ollie.
“He got you there, babes,” Becca said, planting a warm kiss on Eve’s cheek.
“That was then,” said Eve with dignity.
Brody struck up on his guitar, singing: “All grown up and nowhere to go …” until Rhi silenced him with a kiss.
Lila felt her heart getting lighter as she watched her friends messing around. This is where I belong, she thought. With these guys. They’re better mates than Iris, Flynn and Leo ever were.
“Where’s Josh?” Polly asked, glancing around.
The warm, fuzzy feeling in Lila’s tummy disappeared. “Not here,” she admitted, biting her lip. “He wasn’t enjoying the party much.”
Someone staggered towards them from the dancing crowd, fell over and was violently sick on the sand.
“I’m not either,” said Ollie, wrinkling his nose as Polly shrieked.
The girl on the sand had green-dipped hair. Lila’s eyes widened. “Iris?” she said in horror.
Iris’s cat eyes focused in recognition. “Lilz,” she slurred. “Lilz, babes, not feeling so … oops…”
“Urgh, she vomited on my shoes!” Eve hissed in disgust, trying to leap away from the freshly splattered mess on the sand.
Iris giggled weakly. “I puked on Prada… Oopsadaisy…”
“She’s the drunkest person I’ve ever seen,” said Ollie in fascination.
“I know her,” said Lila, embarrassed. “She’s drunk too much.”
“No kidding, Sherlock,” said Polly.
Lila tried to pull Iris to her feet, but it was like trying to make a bag of wet cement stay upright. “Can one of you help me?” she pleaded, looking imploringly at her friends.
Rhi took Brody’s guitar and stood well back as Brody leaned down and hefted Iris into his arms.
Iris brushed at her sick-matted hair and fluttered her half-focused eyes at Brody’s muscles. “Thanks, gorgeous,” she giggled.
“You have vomit on your chin,” said Eve with icy disdain. “I’d lose the chat-up lines if I were you.”
Iris scrubbed at her face with the back of her hand as Brody set her gently back on her feet. Any minute now and she’d keel over on the sand again.
“You’ll be OK with me, Iris,” Lila said, trying to keep her old friend upright. “Come on, I’m taking you home.”
“You’re taking her back to your place?” said Eve incredulously. “What if she throws up on your carpet?”
“I can’t leave her out here, can I?” said Lila. “Are you going to help me or what?”
They lifted and shoved, pushed and pulled Iris down the narrow path to the main beach. Everything was going well until Iris had a sudden burst of energy, broke away from them and ran into the sea with a shriek.
“At least the smell’s improved,” remarked Ollie as they coaxed the now wet and shivering girl back up the beach.
Half an hour later, they had arrived at Lila’s front door with Iris supported between them. It was half past midnight and all the lights were out.
“I’ll take it from here,” Lila whispered. “I’m really sorry about this evening, guys. I love you all. Thanks for bailing me out.”
“Tell that to the shoes,” growled Eve.
Becca rubbed her back. “They’re just shoes,” she said.
Polly and Lila exchanged a glance as Eve winced. Brody laughed softly.
“That’s like telling Ollie football’s just a game,” said Rhi.
“I hate that,” said Ollie.
When her friends had gone, Lila managed to open the front door with her latch key and heave Iris inside. She deposited her on the sofa in the living room, stripping off her wet and stinking clothes and wrapping her in an old blanket she dug out from a box under the stairs. As a precaution, she found a big bucket in the kitchen and set it beside the sofa.
“Love you, babes,” Iris mumbled, curling into the blanket. “Sorry for the hassle.”
Lila climbed the stairs. She felt weary to her bones.
“I can’t say I’m happy about any of this,” said Lila’s mother, regarding a whey-faced Iris as she sipped weakly at a cup of tea the next morning.
Lila’s fingers stank of disinfectant. She tried to hold them as far away from her body as she could. “Sorry, Mum,” she said humbly. “But Iris had nowhere else to go and she was in such a state, I couldn’t leave her at the beach. It won’t happen again.”
“We thought you’d left this behaviour in London, Lila,” said her father in a sharp voice.
Her dad was being unfair, Lila thought. It wasn’t her who’d thrown up in the downstairs loo. She’d been up s
ince nine, cleaning up the mess. Didn’t that show some kind of responsibility? But she knew better than to say anything.
“Sorry, Dad,” she said with as much contrition as she could manage.
Her father gave Iris one last disgusted glance and stalked out of the house, slamming the door behind him. Iris gave a groan and pressed her hands to her head.
“I’ll take Iris to the train station, Mum,” Lila promised. “There’s a train for London leaving at ten-thirty.”
“You do that.” Her mother looked like she was about to say something else, but she kissed Lila on the cheek instead.
The whole way to the station, Iris mumbled jokey apologies, squinting into the sun through her sunglasses. Lila found she was only half-listening. It was amazing what a difference a few months could make, she mused.
At the station, Lila found herself on the receiving end of a warm, faintly sick-smelling hug. “Stay in touch, OK?” Iris called, leaning out of the window as the train pulled away. “Missing you already, great evening, babes, let’s do it again soon!”
Let’s not, Lila thought with a shudder, lifting her hand and waving until Iris was out of sight. A wash of relief came over her.
Sitting down at a bench as the train rounded the corner, Lila pulled out her phone to check for messages. She hadn’t heard a thing from Josh since he’d disappeared the night before. They were supposed to be meeting for fish and chips at the beach that afternoon, but Lila found herself wondering whether Josh would even show up.
No messages. She didn’t know whether to feel worried or relieved.
Hey, she typed tentatively on her phone. Still on for lunch today?
She had bitten three nails before Josh responded.
Sorry, can’t make it.
Talk later
Lila felt sick. Josh never cancelled on her. He always put kisses on his texts. Last night had changed something between them.