by Sandra Kitt
“Fair enough. We’ll let instincts rule.”
“Fair enough.” She turned away and headed into the kitchen. “What are your plans for this afternoon?”
Hale stayed where he was, listening to glasses being put on the counter, to something being poured. To the refrigerator door opening and closing. She stepped back into the space and handed him a glass. It was guava juice. He’d first had it here on St. John and loved it. He accepted the glass and raised it slightly in salute to her. Somehow she’d known.
“Not much left to the afternoon. I’m going to make a few calls to let the local authorities know I’m on the island. I have a couple of meetings tomorrow. Other things might come up. And you?”
“Back to my computer. I’m finishing up a basic outline for my symposium presentation. It’s going to be a PowerPoint so I have to think about my visuals. Dinner is at seven, is that okay?”
“You cooking?”
“Unless you want to.”
“Seven is fine.”
Hale retrieved his bag and climbed to the upper level where there were two rooms. Both were of equal size, and both were comfortably appointed. He chose the one facing out over the water, almost above where Diane would be sleeping.
He unpacked and tried to review his plans for the next few days. They pertained to Adam’s desire to buy an adjoining lot of land and to possibly build on it in the future. Hale needed to find out about access rights, since another road might need to be cleared at some point. There were also water rights and a plan for ecological building for the least damage to the land. This was not his area of expertise by any stretch of the imagination. But Adam trusted him and he was going to make sure he got it right.
That Diane was also going to be around definitely put a monkey wrench in his plans to use his extra time to think about his future. But the truth was, a lot of that was about her.
He’d come so close once to telling her openly he loved her. He’d known it for a very long time. But what happened when they were leaving St. John after Christmas had knocked the wind out of him and he was afraid to reveal the depth of his desire. He wasn’t sure what he would do if Diane threw his declaration back in his face.
But then there was that night at his apartment. She’d been so passionate, so…loving, confirming yet again for him how perfectly they fit. How well they read one another’s needs. At least to the extent that it happened in bed. She’d admitted she wanted to be with him. He believed her. But he was equally as committed to what he wanted. The whole nine yards. All or nothing. He was never going to accept half measure again.
Hale had a suspicion that there was far more to the story of Diane coincidentally being on St. John the same time as himself. He was a lawyer. And he’d survived a long time on his street smarts before meeting Adam Maxwell. He didn’t believe in coincidence.
He changed clothes and went back down to sit in the living room, his notes and papers and laptop spread over the coffee table. Less than ten feet away Diane was at work on her own business and didn’t even acknowledge his return. Only for a short time did it feel awkward to be in the same room with her, ignoring her as she did her thing and he did his. But they did.
To his surprise Hale became totally immersed in his work, trying to get a handle on something he wasn’t very familiar with. He didn’t notice her turn on the lights as it grew dark. Didn’t realize the quiet music was from the satellite station on the radio. Didn’t pay much attention to Diane in the kitchen until incredible smells began to waft into the living room where he worked. Without being prompted, Hale closed his computer and got up to set the table for dinner.
Slowly, conversation came into play. Commonplace topics and things having to do with the next few days. Questions about the property and his answers, her opinions. Questions about her symposium and her answers.
Dinner was simple. Broiled fish, with island rice and beans, crusty rolls she’d actually made and wine.
“I guess you were surprised to see me,” she suddenly said, as they sat after dinner enjoying a second glass of wine.
“You could say that.”
“Are you sorry I’m here?”
He stared at her. “Are you fishing?”
“Yes.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Then, I have something else to ask….”
He shook his head. “You don’t have to. The woman at the reception is a friend. A colleague. She’s married, and I don’t do married women, okay?” She nodded.
She seemed to relax and Hale suddenly realized that, for all his uncertainty, Diane was in no better shape. He took heart and hope in that.
They cleared away dinner, cleaned and closed down the kitchen. She went off to take a shower, he took a last look at his papers and then decided he’d done enough for the night. The distraction of work had…stopped working.
Diane had the nerve to come out of the bathroom wrapped in nothing but a towel. It was nearly his undoing, and he knew she was playing with him. Well, two can play that game, he muttered in his head.
“I’m going to bed. What time is your first meeting tomorrow?”
“About nine-thirty,” he said, realizing there was a distinct gravelly pitch to his voice.
“Okay, I’ll be ready to drive you down to Cruz Bay. Good night. Sleep tight.”
He said nothing, just watched as she sashayed toward her alcove.
“You forgot something,” Hale found himself saying.
She glanced over a bare shoulder and raised her brows.
He waited.
She shook her head.
He started walking silently toward her. She was waiting, anticipating his move.
Witch! Hale thought caustically to himself. She was going to try and make him beg.
Not in this lifetime.
But now was not the time to quibble over details. She was already lifting her face to him, opening her mouth. He captured her lips, manipulating until they opened to his satisfaction and he could slip his tongue in. It was incredibly hot, the whole day building up as one big tease. He didn’t care just then. He kissed her the way he’d wanted to since seeing her on the pier that afternoon. But he didn’t touch her. He let the slow rocking of his mouth against hers say what he couldn’t. And he took her ready response as encouragement that neither of them should give up.
Hale broke the kiss and could sense her reluctance for it to end. He had grown hard the minute their lips touched.
But a man has his pride!
“Good night,” he whispered seductively, and turned away from her.
Hale waited until Diane had gone to bed and turned out her light. He got himself another glass of wine, brooding over the cat-and-mouse game he suspected they were playing. It was hard to tell who had the upper hand for the moment, but as it got late and he finally went to his room, he sort of knew it wasn’t him.
It was around two in the morning when he thought he’d held out long enough. No one could blame him, he thought, if he sought comfort in the arms of someone who wanted him. Someone he wanted, badly. He had had a full erection since the kiss and knew if he didn’t do something about it, it was going to be a very long night. In which case, he wanted only to do it with her.
He climbed out of bed and silently walked down a level, through the kitchen, and stood in the doorway of her room. His eyes adjusted to the dark and he could see Diane had a sheet lightly covering her. She was still and he thought her asleep. But suddenly, she slowly pushed aside the sheet and Hale caught his breath and grew even harder when he saw that she was naked, as was he.
She said not a word, but held up her arms and he approached, climbing into the invitation.
He wanted her so bad his head throbbed, as did another prominent part of him. She reached low between his legs to stroke him, aware of his great need, as if trying to ease his ache. He rocked against her soft gentle hands, dizzy with desire. But he pushed her hand away and shifted position. There was something else he needed to do first, for her.
It was his way of thanking Diane for not giving up on him. On the possibility of them.
“Yes,” she moaned, opening her legs as his shoulders slid beneath her knees.
Hale stroked her thighs as his lips kissed her nether part. She moaned again and raised her hips to meet him, while his tongue delicately searched for the ways that made her feel good.
“Hale…oh, my God. Oooooh,” Diane panted.
But just as he sensed she was going to come Hale crawled back up her body and buried himself in her, in one smooth thrust of his hips. The ride was a short one, but it ended with both of them clutching each other, twisting together, moaning in the sweet agony of release.
Diane held his head to her, stroking his head and shoulders. He loved the soft cushion of her breasts and the slender cradle of her legs about him. For a very long time, until he was almost asleep, he was content just where he was.
“I guess I should go back upstairs.”
“Only if you want to.”
“Tomorrow is going to be a long day. I’m not going to be much good if I don’t get some sleep.”
She kissed his forehead. “So, go to sleep.”
Hale’s body gave in and he did.
Diane waded through the shallow surf to the shore, sluicing the water from her hair with her hands and feeling the last of the late afternoon sun beginning to warm her chilled skin. Dripping water, she trudged up the beach slope to her towel and sat down wearily. Hale would have a fit if he knew she’d gone swimming without him or someone else with her, at least on the beach, to spot her as she swam almost out to the opening of the bay and back again.
But she had to do something to cool her ragged nerves. She realized that they were both once again leaving the next morning and there had been no word between them about the future.
What was he waiting for?
Diane groaned as she fell back on the towel with her eyes closed.
What was she going to do?
That first night together had been so right. So natural. Spending it squeezed together on the too-small double daybed, she’d thought it was a promising beginning. And it had been. They hadn’t slept apart since arriving, and she’d looked forward to every evening because she knew that, in each other’s arms, they were going to find bliss, mutual satisfaction and peace. Diane recognized that it had gone far beyond the physical for her, but she’d known that back in D.C. Her feelings had tipped over the edge into the full-blown realm of love.
And it seemed to be killing her.
As perfect as they were together in bed, she’d come to see that their compatibility went much further. There was a give-and-take between them that now was in sync and comfortable. They could communicate in shorthand, sometimes just with a look, a simple word or phrase. They tested and challenged each other, neither ever backing down, and she was thrilled that Hale was not the least bit intimidated by her, nor would he let her get over on him. Except for the business of how she came to be on St. John at exactly the same time as he. If he questioned it, he kept it to himself.
But that’s as far as it went. And she was frustrated. They were running out of time, and she was deathly afraid that the four days they were secluded together had been nothing more than an enjoyable tryst for him. It had become so much more for her.
Simply put, she didn’t want to lose him. And she was scared. What if he didn’t love her? What if she’d really ruined any chance of that by her outrageous behavior over the years?
Realizing that she wasn’t going to find the answer sitting on the beach, Diane checked the time on her cell phone and began to put on her clothes over her still-wet suit. She needed to get started back to the house, and it was going to be all uphill, following a well-worn path that she had been using since she was a child and first came to the island.
She was in the shower when Hale returned. He knocked on the door and told her to put on something pretty and cool. He was taking her out to dinner.
She put on her happy face and cheerful demeanor, determined that no matter what, Hale would never know that he alone, of any man she’d ever known, had been the one able to break her heart.
It helped that he held her hand all evening and spoke easily, with great satisfaction, about how he believed he’d accomplished what Adam had sent him to do. It helped that he told her how beautiful she was…and that the past three days with her had been incredible. It helped that he admitted he wished they had more time.
When they went to bed that night she believed it was for the last time. She didn’t think she had the strength to continue to see Hale back in D.C. knowing how she felt, what she wanted. She’d make up a story for her parents, she’d take all the blame if she had to, do what she needed to, to move on.
Again.
Alone.
She did welcome their lovemaking, the old-fashioned way. She loved the feel of him on top of her, his weight protecting her. She loved the play of his muscles as his flanks and thighs and buttocks and stomach flexed and contracted as he thrust into her. She was glad she didn’t have to ask Hale to slow down, take his time to make it last. He seemed to know to kiss her slowly and deeply, to be tender.
When she came she cried. Silently so that Hale could not see. She made her own vow that he would not know she could never love anyone as much as she loved him.
Now was not the time to pretend otherwise.
The airport was as crowded as always. She’d never made a trip down or back when the waiting area wasn’t filled with tired, sunburned, post-vacation families and couples returning to the mainland. Hale managed to find them two seats opposite one another while they waited for the boarding announcement for their flight. It infuriated Diane that Hale sat reading legal briefs while her stomach roiled and protested and her misery grew.
One flight was announced and a dozen people in their sector gathered their bags and headed for the departure gate. Diane shifted seats so they could sit together.
She couldn’t stand it anymore.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” she asked suddenly, her anxiety infusing her voice with a sharp tone.
Hale looked at her, puzzled. “About what?”
“Hale!” she nearly shrieked. “How can you ask that? About us! About being together on St. John. About going back home.”
She’d held her nervousness in so long, she realized she was breathing hard.
“I loved being on the island with you. I’m not looking forward to going back to D.C.”
“Well!”
“Well…what?”
She stood up. “You’re doing this on purpose. You’re trying to make me mad.”
He stood up as well. “You’re doing a good job of that all by yourself,” Hale said calmly. “Just what is your problem?”
“It’s not my problem, it’s our problem.”
“Sorry. I don’t see it that way. Until you tell me what this is about, it’s all yours.”
Diane could hardly breathe again. Her chest felt tight. Her heart was racing. She thought she wanted to hit him.
No.
She wanted to fall into his arms and…and…
“How can you say that to me? The last few months, when we’ve been together, I…”
“Yes?”
“Well, I thought you and I…”
“Di,” he said seriously, taking a step closer to her, his brows furrowed. “See, that’s the thing. You were thinking more about your feelings and not much about me at all.”
She gasped. “That’s not true! At Christmas…”
“Let’s not forget how that ended. You jumped to conclusions…just like you’re about to do now.”
She swallowed, momentarily chastened. “Okay, I admit I was an idiot at Christmas. I’ve tried to apologize and show you I…I’ve changed. This is different. I know it is.”
He nodded. “Okay. How is it different?”
“Because it is,” Diane said impatiently, waving her arms. Several people got up around them and quietly changed their seats
.
“You’ll have to do better than that,” Hale said flatly.
She realized he was not going to give an inch.
“You’re just trying to get back at me for…for what happened. Because I…”
“I’m listening.”
She gasped. Against her will, inexplicably, a quiet sob escaped. Her eyes pleaded with him as her will began to give out.
“I didn’t give you a chance. And if I had, maybe you would have…some feelings for me.”
“Is that what you want from me? Feelings?”
“What I want is…Hale, don’t you care for me at all? Even a little?”
He stepped even closer. His gaze narrowed on her. Her chest heaved as she gazed into his face, looking for some softening or a hint of understanding.
“Why don’t we do this, Di. You tell me how you feel. Take a chance, the same way you expected me to. Don’t play with it. Don’t try to work it or get over. Just do it. For just this once, say what you really feel. Tell me what you want. Don’t you remember what I said to you the night of Eva’s surgery?”
His voice had gotten hard again. But she knew it wasn’t because he was angry. It was because he wasn’t going to let her get away with putting it all on him.
“Hale…I’m…scared.”
“You’re not afraid of anything.”
She looked at him and lost the battle. Her eyes brimmed over. And as if he’d just challenged her, Diane raised her quivering chin and stood determined.
“I love you. I’m so in love with you, I think it hurts.”
“What? What did you say?” He leaned down to her.
“Damn you, Hale. I said I love you. And if you don’t care, fine. I’ll get over it.”
“Diane…”
“The last few days have been so beautiful I was so sure you felt the same way I do.”
“I do.”
“And I waited for you to say something and you didn’t.”
“I just did.”
“So now I’ve made a fool of myself, in front of all these people who probably feel sorry for me.”
“They probably feel sorry for me,” Hale corrected.
There was noticeable laughter from those close enough to hear their exchange.