by R. Twine
‘I hope we’ll see each other again,’ he murmured, breathing unevenly. ‘I’ll be waiting for you, Miriam.’
‘We’ll wait and see,’ I said readjusting my hair that became unkempt. ‘You have to go now, your guests are waiting. God knows what they may be thinking.’
‘I don’t give a damn,’ Michael said with a wave of his hand, kissing me goodbye. ‘These people are too well-bred to focus their attention on such delicate situations.’
I adjusted my clothes, took up my handbag and left the house – at last.
Chapter 31
Samuel looked tired.
‘Miriam, I couldn’t get through to you for two days. Why did you switch off your telephone?’
‘Sorry, Sam,’ I said, kissing him slightly on the cheek. ‘Telephone calls during funerals are inappropriate. So I switched off my mobile and then just forgot about it.’
‘It’s not only the mobile phone that you forgot about… You’re drifting away from me, Miriam. I have no idea of what is going on in your life. It’s all just secrets and secrets alone!’ Samuel was very much frustrated. I felt I was to blame for it.
‘But Sam, every one of us has his or her own secrets,’ I said, trying to sound as tender as I could.
‘Of course,’ he said shaking his head hesitantly. ‘But your life is filled with secrets to the limit and then some. And the main thing is, you don’t want to let me into your secrets. You think I can’t give you good advice? Many years ago Brinstein defended his theory saying that not all so-called madmen were really crazy in real life… They say he did experiments on patients who were hearing various voices and seeing demons. This story was eventually put under wraps so as not to spook the general public and then Brinstein was forced to leave his job in a clinic. That’s when he switched to dealing solely with demonology. I’ve been asking around: they say Phil’s collection is regarded as priceless…’ Sam spoke in a hushed tone of voice as if afraid someone could overhear him. ‘I cannot understand why you flew all the way over there to go to his funeral! You barely knew him; he was known as a hermit and a boring bookworm. Why did you have to go back to his house? Why was he murdered just hours after you two had met? Is it a coincidence or not?’
‘I don’t know what to say in reply, Sam,’ I said tiredly. ‘I don’t know what made me go there. I can’t explain it even to myself, believe me.’
‘Miriam, I love you and the fact that you are involved with all these people worries me… They are all the devil’s breed, you have to break all ties with them…Otherwise it’ll be a drag on your career and your future life as a whole. You should keep away from the likes of them,’ Samuel advised.
‘You’re right, it was foolish of me,’ I admitted. Suddenly I felt qualms of conscience: Why am I hurting the man I love? ‘I’m sorry, Samuel,’ I whispered, wrapping my arms around him.
Tears began streaming down my cheeks; I was utterly confused about my feelings. What I experienced with Michael was like madness; I lost my head completely while I was in his arms and forgot about the world that surrounded me. With Samuel it was different: tender, calm and safe. I loved him. But still, I wanted Michael.
Life ran its course: filming, partying, Sam.
One day Natalie called me up and left me open-mouthed by telling me the news.
‘You know, I seem to have gotten pregnant. I haven’t had my period for quite a while,’ she said.
‘That’s wonderful!’ I exclaimed overjoyed. ‘I’m so happy for you, darling! Your folks will be happy, too.’
‘Yeah, that’s for sure,’ Natalie laughed. ‘Well, how are you getting along with your Samuel? Isn’t it difficult to be living with a Hollywood star?’
‘Not at all, he’s charming,’ I replied. ‘Nat, I’d like you to do me a favor. To be more precise, I want your father to do me a favor. Please, ask Mark to find something out about Michael Brinstein. It’s very important,’ I said.
‘Okay, Miriam, I’ll tell my father about your request,’ promised Natalie.
I couldn’t get Michael out of my mind. Just thinking about him would make my heart race. I often felt like giving everything up and rushing to him, into his arms. But I couldn’t hurt Samuel. Conflict was tearing me apart from within, but I decided not to rush things. Let things go as they may.
The movie making was coming to its close. Opening night was just around the corner. Film critics predicted the drama called “Tragic Love” would be a huge success. We only had to wait and see whether these predictions would prove right.
‘Well, Miriam, are you ready to go to France now?’ asked Samuel, putting his arms around my shoulders and kissing me on the back of my head. ‘Are you happy?’
‘I’m very happy!’ I said with a smile. ‘I miss my loved ones terribly!’
My mobile phone rang. I looked at the screen to see the telephone number that flashed up.
‘It’s Natalie,’ I told Sam and left the room. ‘Good afternoon, my dear Nat! I’ve been trying to reach you on the phone for more than two weeks, but all in vain! What’s happened? Where have you been?’
‘I’ve been in the hospital,’ said Natalie in a sad tone of voice.
‘What’s happened? You’re scaring me! Tell me what has happened!’
‘I slipped and fell. I thought everything would get better all by itself and refused to go see the doctor. But in two days I developed a uterine hemorrhage, and I was admitted to the hospital. My fall caused a miscarriage. I’m sorry; I didn’t feel strong enough to talk to anyone.’
‘Oh, my God, Natalie! I feel for you so very much! There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. The main thing is that you seem be recovering.’
‘That’s in the past, Miriam. I will carry on as before,’ said Natalie quietly. ‘My father did what you asked him to. And here’s what he managed to find out. Michael Brinstein was born in New York. He was the only child in the family; his mother died under mysterious circumstances shortly after his birth. Michael has a good command of several languages and works in a very powerful financial group. He’s a major stockholder in the firm where he works. The CEO of this firm is an American billionaire, Russell Thomson who owns one of the major American TV and radio companies and a well-known telecommunications network. Several years ago the firm where Brinstein works was suspected of laundering huge sums of money but the experts who carried out multiple audits in Paris and New York failed to provide hard evidence, and all the charges were lifted. Michael is married for the second time, and in each marriage he has had one child. By the way, his first wife lives in New York, she’s Russell Thomson’s blood-related niece. The ex-wife and his daughter from the first marriage sometimes come to visit him in Paris; apparently, they maintain good relations even after the divorce. As for his second – and current – wife, she comes from a well-known and respectable French family; she’s been working as a lawyer in the same firm where Michael works. They have a five-year-old daughter. Brinstein is a rather wealthy man; he owns a lion’s share of assets in several firms. Besides, his father who has died recently bequeathed him a collection of books worth – by some estimates – a fortune, and some amount of shares in big corporations. And that’s it for the time being,’ concluded Natalie.
‘Thanks, Nat,’ I said.
‘Do you have anything to do with him, Miriam?’ asked Nat.
‘It’s a long story, Nat, I’ll tell you about it later on. Many thanks – to your father and you! Cheer up, I'll be there soon.’
‘That’s great!’ Natalie brightened up. ‘I’ll see you again at last! See you soon, sister.’
The park was quiet and almost deserted. Samuel was giving one of his regular interviews, and I went out to have a walk and read in the fresh air. But no sooner had I opened the book than a ring-tone broke the silence.
‘Hello?’ I replied.
‘Good afternoon, Miriam. This is Michael. I’ve made up my mind to call you and ask how you’re doing,’ said the voice I’d been missing so much every one of those day
s.
‘Good morning, Michael,’ I said in reply, trying to stay poised. ‘I’m doing fine, preparing to go back to France.’
‘You must have a lot of other things to do now other than thinking about me,’ Michael surmised. ‘But I couldn’t keep myself from calling you, Miriam. I think about you all the time. You have awakened in me feelings I haven’t experienced for many years. Looks like I’ve fallen in love… I can’t eat a bite; I want to see you so much… I know, we are both not free, but the desire to be with you again is stronger than I am.’
These words brought a wide smile upon my face; everything in me began to sing, but I did my best not to show my happiness.
‘I haven’t forgotten about you, Michael. The thing is that everything is so complicated…’ I said, and faltered.
‘Miriam, thoughts of you are chasing me night after night, and, well, I see only you everywhere during the daylight, too! I need you!’ begged Michael. ‘I dream of us making love, and this dream is so real! But when I wake up there’s no you by my side. I want to see you, Miriam! Don’t reject me or I will die. I can fly to Los Angeles, if you don’t mind…’
‘No! Anything but Los Angeles!’ I reacted immediately. ‘I’ll come to you by plane myself,’ I promised and then asked, ‘How’s your collection of books?’
‘I’ve decided to keep it, in the memory of my father and all my forefathers who spent centuries gathering these books into a single collection. Besides, I’m not going to sell the house I grew up in, either.’
‘Good for you, Michael,’ I said approvingly. ‘You made the right decision. Your father would have been glad. By the way, how’s the investigation going on? Has it gotten off the ground?’
‘Unfortunately, everything remains as it was before. Absolutely no clues and not one suspect,’ Michael answered and then asked, ‘So, when will I see you again, Miriam?’
‘Michael, I’ll call you later. Samuel will have to believe my trip is necessary. I don’t want him to become suspicious of anything.’
‘I’ll be waiting for your call,’ Michael said and hung up.
I didn’t know what to tell Samuel. I didn’t want to tell him lies, so I’d made up my mind to tell him the truth – though only part of it.
‘Samuel, I’m leaving for New York tomorrow. I need to have another close look at the books from Phil Brinstein’s library before we go to France. It’s crucial for me. I still don’t know what I’m looking for in those books but it seems to me I will eventually find the answers to some of my questions there. It’s personal, Sam, and it concerns me only.’ I said it all virtually in one breath. Samuel was unable to say anything against it.
‘All right, Miriam,’ he managed to say. ‘You really should go if it’s that important to you. Every person has the right to look for the answers to the questions he has in his heart. I think I understand you quite well and don’t feel like getting in the way of something that might help you in your life. I myself have never told anyone about what’s buried deep in my heart. Do what you think you should do, Miriam.’
I was glad Sam didn’t begin getting at me with harsh and unnecessary questions. I saw once again how lucky I was to have come across such a man as he! Maybe, in time my sudden passion for Michael would somehow calm down and I would love Sam again as I loved him before? Michael was a family man, and I was fully aware of the fact that our love affair was a dead end. I wasn’t going to steal him from his family, but for the time being I didn’t have enough strength to reject his love…
‘I love you, Miriam,’ Sam went on. ‘And I know that I can trust you.’
My cheeks blushed slightly. I felt almost ashamed. Why do I have to go there and betray Samuel? Why, really? To betray such a kindhearted, understanding and loving man as he? Actually, Michael was not superior to him in anything… these pestering flies of questions kept on swirling in my head. But still, I wanted to go. With Michael I was totally different – someone Samuel had never known.
Three days later I left for New York by plane. All the trip, I was burning with impatience. Michael was waiting for me. And so was The Book of Shadows – it was calling me.
We started kissing right on the threshold. Thoughts, words and aromas got all tangled up. I was melting in his arms, merging into his aura. Can it be love? I thought, in the intervals between the gushing waves of happiness rolling over me.
‘Miriam, you cannot even imagine how happy I am to see you again! It’s a kind of obsession – all my thoughts have been about you only,’ said Michael, kissing me. Nights without you turned into nightmares. You have stolen my heart. All I want is to be with you…’
‘I cannot understand what’s happening to me either, Michael,’ I complained. ‘I tried not to think about you, but these thoughts kept coming back all the time, never leaving me alone. I’m cheating myself, I’m cheating others… It’s just unbearable; I’m at a loss, I don’t know how to carry on or what to do!’
‘I’m happy you are with me! I want these moments to remain in my memory forever: your presence, your hands, your lips,’ he said tenderly, touching my lips with his fingers. ‘I love the exciting aroma of your beautiful body; I love your hair… There’s nothing in you that doesn’t appeal to me… I love everything in you…’ Michael whispered, studying my face. Suddenly I noticed how much thinner he had become. ‘You’re a beautiful fairy, and every moment I spend with you is unforgettable…’
This time we made love slowly and without haste, enjoying every small particle of each other’s bodies. Michael was caressing me with his hot tongue, his hands exploring every part of my body exciting my erogenous zones in the process and bringing me to ecstasy every time. Then we changed places, and now my tongue was touching his skin in search of intimate points of pleasure.
It was miraculous. We forgot about everything around us. There remained only me, Michael and our blissful happiness.
Late in the afternoon we went outside into the remote part of the garden, sat on the wooden sling chairs covered with soft mattresses and began marveling at the leisurely sunset.
‘Are you hungry, Miriam? Or would you like something to drink? You’ve had a long journey, after all,’ Michael said.
‘Yes, I’d like to have a snack. Would you mind ordering pizza?’ I replied.
‘Not a bad idea,’ said Michael. ‘I’ll go and make an order.’ He made for the house.
The garden was big; neatly cut trees and shrubbery were pleasant to the eye; it was evident the lawn was thoroughly maintained. The house was situated in a secluded place, making it impossible to trace who was coming and leaving. I got up and started walking down the small narrow path leading to the edge of the garden. After approaching the garden gates I stopped to have a good look at what was behind the trees. There was one more house standing on a steep slope almost invisible because of the dense shrubbery and trees. All I could see was a windowless wall and a roof with grass growing on it. The house seemed to have been abandoned long ago. Who could be the owner of this house? I thought.
‘This is my grand-grandfather’s house,’ Michael said, coming up to me from behind, unheard. I started. ‘Then my granddad and my dad lived in it. That building,’ said Michael pointing at Phil’s house, ‘was bought by my father after our neighbors had died a tragic death. I spent my childhood there, while my father spent his childhood in this house,’ said Michael pointing his hand at the abandoned building. This is a family nest, so to speak.'
‘Don’t you find there were too many deaths from unnatural causes, Michael?’ I asked.
‘I do, Miriam. And that was why I left the place as soon as I grew up. These two houses were always instilling fear in me. My granddad also died under rather mysterious circumstances.’ Michael paused for quite a while and then went on. ‘The strangest thing is that all the books remained intact during this time, too. I used to tell my father that all this had something to do with his devilish collection, I always considered it dangerous – all these books, to the last one, seemed
to be alive! But he would answer that those were my fantasies and that a book collector could not be killed just because he loved books.’
‘I’m beginning to be afraid that your life may be in danger, Michael.’
‘I’ll leave this ominous place as soon as I’m through with my inheritance paperwork, I don’t have the slightest desire to stay here longer than necessary. You know, Miriam, when I began mulling over selling the collection of the books, it quickly turned out to be impossible through various reasons. My father begged me not to do it. He would come to me in my dreams every night…warning me that if I got rid of the books it could end really badly. And not only for me, but for my children, too! This was why I decided to leave everything as it is and not tempt fate.’
‘It’s up to you alone what to do, Michael,’ I said. ‘I guess Phil didn’t want these books to end up in somebody else’s hands.’
‘You see, when I was on my way to Father’s funeral I knew for sure I would first get rid of the books and then sell the house, but dad frustrated all my plans. He came to me in my dreams and literally said the following: “My son, don’t sell either the book collection or this house. Don’t bring upon you the wrath of the Black Angel, leave everything as it is now and don’t take any drastic steps. Don’t take ill-considered actions. I know when you wake up you will think you just had a bad dream: therefore, I’ll leave on your desk the drawing you’d given me on my birthday when you were seven. You’ll find it after you wake up.” I woke up in the morning with a heavy head, unaware whether it had really happened or it was just the product of my overstrained brain. I went downstairs to the library and indeed found a small picture lying on Father’s desk, the one I drew on my own many years ago. It was unclear how the drawing ended up there, but the idea of selling the collection and the house was dropped immediately…’
‘This was your late father’s will.’