No Game No Life, Vol. 3

by Yuu Kamiya

  “All right, now, Chlammy, let’s get on with the intro—”

  As Sora tried to advance the conversation regardless of her, yet again…

  “Excuse me, if we speak of grudges, I have my own.”

  “—Wha, Steph? The hell are you talking about?”

  Thrusting a finger toward the cool-faced Chlammy, Steph howled:

  “I’m talking about—h-her! Isn’t this the one who cheated with magic to defeat me?!”

  “It’s your fault for falling for it. Okay, Chlammy, go on.”

  “Hey—?!”

  Putting aside the curtly dismissed Steph, Chlammy spoke.

  “Fi…is my childhood friend. To be precise—my master, actually.”

  To Shiro, momentarily failing to see her meaning, Jibril explained.

  “Elven Gard is a democracy, but they promote the binding of races ranked lower than themselves by the Covenants—to put it bluntly, in a slave system.”

  “Wha… Then Chlammy is…”

  To Steph, blurting this out, Chlammy nodded.

  “Yes, since the time of my great-grandfather, we have been the slaves of the Nirvalen family. I was born and raised in Elven Gard.”

  With a wry smile at Steph, at a loss for words, Chlammy continued.

  “It’s no great matter… Everyone has a hardship or two to endure.”

  Seeing her glance toward Sora, Steph, and Jibril, and even Fi wondered what in Sora’s past could possibly have made Chlammy say of herself, “It’s no great matter.”

  “…It’s a common enough story, I suppose. I was a slave, and Fi alone treated me as a friend.”

  Sensing the mood, Chlammy continued so as to divert the course of the conversation.

  “But to treat a slave as a friend could cause a commotion beyond merely tarnishing the family’s reputation, so of course, we can’t act like that publicly.”

  “Well, I, for my part, don’t like it one little bit.”

  As Fi bubbled up fluffily but with a hint of anger, Chlammy continued.

  “The Nirvalen family is known in Elven Gard. Its name has graced the lower seats of the upper house of legislature for many generations, and since its previous head passed away last year, Fi has become the de facto head—”

  Then the one who understood the meaning behind her tale and reacted was none other than—

  “…Then Fiel is an acting member of the Upper House—wait, f-for a member of the Upper House to plot a movement to free the slaves—is that not treason?!”

  —That would be an unheard-of scandal in the greatest country in the world. But, rather than trifles like that, everyone’s gazes now descended on Steph with looks of astonishment.

  “—S-Steph, you actually followed our conversation?! Are you sick again? Do you have a fever?!”

  At Sora, who verbalized what everyone was thinking, Steph followed on her existing momentum to turn around and shout:

  “Can you please remove the label of idiot you have placed upon me? Were I not more knowledgeable about politics than a certain two monarchs who cast all business of national administration upon me, I should scarcely serve the purpose!”

  W-well, setting aside the incredible spectacle unfolded before their eyes. Sora looked into Fi’s eyes and asked:

  “…Is that all right with you, Fi?”

  “Paardon? What do you meaan?”

  “Working with us may lead to the downfall of Elven Gard, you know?”

  —Yes, as Chlammy had mentioned, what Sora was plotting involved the Eastern Union, and beyond that—but.

  “Ahh, but that time will come when it coomes.”

  Fi, with her same sunny smile.

  “I don’t really care, as long as Chlammy doesn’t get hurt… The family and such, frankly, doesn’t really matter to me… And I’ve had such an earful of the old councillors, if possible, I would like to be rid of the headship…”

  With her gentle smile, as ungraspable as the snow.

  “In fact, at times I have even thought it would be simpler if the state itself were to disappeaar, eh-heh-heh!”

  “Wh-what shocking statements you make so offhandedly…”

  Steph took a step back at the words produced by that smile.

  …So she was saying that she wouldn’t mind destroying her homeland as long as it was for Chlammy’s sake. Under normal circumstances, one would have to suspect such words…but Sora felt that—perhaps because he had received some of Chlammy’s memories—Sora felt that her words were free of falsehood. When he compared the relationship of the two…with his with Shiro—a strange sympathy emerged.

  “If I take my eyes off Chlammy, why, she’ll go crying in a corner, so I’d like to stay by her side.”

  Fi spoke while stroking Chlammy fondly, to which Chlammy replied:

  “I-I don’t cry! I’ve never cried!”

  “Uh, what about when we beat you to become monarch and you were sobbing like a—”

  Sora’s correction promptly received the evil eye from Chlammy, whom Fi kept stroking.

  “Ahh, just as I thooought; I’m always saying Chlammy gets carried awayy.”

  Resentfully, but not making to sweep away her hand, Chlammy vociferated.

  “I-I said I didn’t cry, all right? J-just because you’ve known me since I was an infant, could you please not go on treating me as you would a child?!”

  Watching this, Sora quietly remembered, from Chlammy’s memory, Fiel’s age. She looked in her early teens, but, being an Elf or whatever, in fact—she was fifty-two. And at Fiel’s smile as she went on stroking Chlammy with no sign of satiation, Sora thought:

  (—Not a friend so much as a mom…yeah.) Thus, as if bearing witness to something unknown, with a slight sense of envy, Sora and Shiro looked on…

  “Well, then! We’ve shared our minds; now, to further deepen our acquaintance—”

  “I’m not getting in the bath with you.”

  “H-how did you know?!”

  Sora dismayed at having had his thoughts read like that. Chlammy looked back at him in exasperation and sighed.

  “Has this man forgotten he gave me all his memories?”

  “Mgh—mghghh!”

  Curses, this was a most problematic situation. In this world—the procurement of pr0n was an issue of the most pressing nature! And now that they even had an Elf girl, Fiel—how could he miss this! As Sora instantly tried to come up with a strategy, help arrived from an unexpected source.

  “Chlammy, it’s imporrtant to get to know the people you’re fighting wiith.”

  “Hwough?!”

  At Fi’s words, who she thought was her friend, Chlammy’s mask dropped.

  “Why, you told me to get along with Jibril, didn’t youu?”

  “Wh-what does that have to do with us all going into the bath and being photographed!”

  But Sora, as if this was it, mobilized every one of his gray matter cells. Sora’s ghost whispered that, though he knew not Fi’s intent, he had to take this opportunity.

  “In the world we come from, there is a traditional Japanese practice to deepen friendship—through ‘naked communion.’”

  Sora spoke boldly, and Chlammy pounced back.

  “Wh-when have you ever used a bath for that purpose since coming to this world!”

  For Chlammy, who possessed Sora’s memories, it was easy to point this out. It was a matter of course; Sora had never even thought of such a thing. It was a given that Chlammy should question him. But, yet—it was still possible to conquer this debate!

  “Well, see, Steph and Jibril have both effectively been bound to me by the Covenants. But, in this case, we’re having you help us based on a relationship of trust. Now we can only rely on traditional culture—Jibril, if you would.”

  “I am here.”

  Sora snapped his fingers, Jibril gliding to her knees beside him.

  “Faithful vassal, will you use this tablet to explain to them the great Japanese tradition of ‘naked communion’?”


  Accurately digesting Sora’s intent, Jibril manipulated the tablet.

  “Ahem—‘naked communion’ takes its roots in an ancient ritual dating back to the Warring States period in Japan, in which participants displayed to each other that they had no hidden weapons and exposed their bodies to reveal their abilities, so as to lay their hands open and to prove to each other their good faith.”

  On Jibril’s effortless fabrication of a text written nowhere, Chlammy nonetheless harped all the more.

  “Y-you lie! There’s no such story in Sora’s memory!”

  “Yeah, I didn’t know about its roots myself. But you should be able to find a memory that it deepens trust?”

  A moment’s pause. Probably rummaging through Sora’s memories—and then.

  “—All I see are lascivious memories outnumbering such things entirelyyy?!”

  Chlammy, presumably flooded with sex tidbits and erotic videos, turned beet-red and screamed. Apparently unable after all to sit and watch this, Fi intervened.

  “All righht, Chlammy. Allow me to speak up on your behalf.”

  “H-wha? Uh, o-okay—thank—”

  “Sir, I’m sure you must have realized this yourseelf, but what Chlammy is trying to say is thiis. She’s no confidence in her body, so she’d rather—”

  “I—I-I-I-I-I-I’m trying to say no such thing!!”

  Fi, wide-eyed and vacant.

  “You’re not? But…”

  Fi’s eyes glanced around. At Jibril’s. Steph’s. And then her own bosom. And, finally, Chlammy’s…chest. With eyes full of compassion.

  “Why, worry not, Chlammy. A woman’s value is not in her chest, you know!!”

  “—Uh, uh…f-fine, already! I’ll go!”

  Chlammy, pointing ferociously at Shiro.

  “D-do you think I would have such a reason in the presence of a tiny girl such as this?”

  Shiro, pointed to, lifted her eyes from her DSP and tilted her head. But Fi, with a yet deeper gentle smile, in the manner of a mother teaching her child.

  “Chlammy, to compare yourself to a chiild is just humiliating yourself too much.”

  Chlammy slammed her hands onto the table and stood up.

  …On the verge of tears.

  “Fi, I hate you! I-I don’t care; where’s the bath?!”

  “Now, then, I shall escort you all!”

  Immediately, Jibril, with bath sundries for each of them, who knows when she picked them up.

  “…I’m getting in, too, am I; yes, well, this was known to me?”

  …And so, watching Chlammy and Steph being taken away by Jibril. Sora, holding Shiro, got up himself and asked Fi, who was likewise stepping forth to follow.

  “—So, why’d you play along with my bullshit?”

  “What, you mean it was untrue? Why, how abominable.”

  Fi still smiled as she bullshitted right back. But, to Sora and Shiro’s probing silence as they walked alongside, Fi responded.

  “…If everyone undresses themseelves, then I can analyze their personalities to some extent from the spiritual activity in their bodiees, and if I can grasp the probability they’ll cut me in my sleep, it makes it easier to deal wiiith.”

  “I see,” chuckled Sora. “So you do want naked communion, just like Jibril said.”

  With her usual fluffy and, yes—ungraspable smile, Fi continued.

  “The memories you gave to Chlammy have caused her to trust you unconditionally. I have no way of knowing their contents, and I am truly grateful that you did not take our lives—but.”

  Still smiling, Fi narrowed her eyes.

  “You should not assuume that if Chlammy trusts you, then I trust you.”

  Her slightly open eyes spoke—if this too was a trick. Then she would use any means at her disposal to wipe Sora & co. from the land, taking all of Elkia with them. Yet brushing off her gaze, Sora answered with a smile.

  “You’re right on. If you were dumb enough to trust a trickster when he says, ‘Trust me,’ then that would be a problem for me, too.”

  Falling silent while still smiling, Sora and Shiro, walking together, with Fi. Suddenly, Sora asked.

  “Hey, let me ask—do all Elves have wits as quick as yours?”

  Laughing softly at his question, Fi answered.

  “If I knew that, then I’d know just how far up my treason is known.”

  —She had, after all, even considered the possibility someone was turning a blind eye.

  “Ha-ha, looks like Elven Gard may be our last enemy after all.”

  “So long as you do not hurt Chlammy, then I shall help you with all my strength.”

  —As long as they didn’t hurt Chlammy, she didn’t mind if they destroyed Elven Gard. Tacitly but clearly saying this, Fi.

  “Now, sir, in consideration of the preparation of the kindling, it is time I go to Chlammy’s side.”

  Watching Fi as she caught up to Chlammy with steps with a sense of softness. Sora muttered aside.

  “—Jibril.”

  “I am here.”

  Hearing Sora’s faint murmur and instantly shifting to appear at his back, Jibril spoke.

  “…Did she use some kind of magic?”

  “No, there was no response whatsoever.”

  At this answer, Shiro frowned slightly.

  —It was discomfort at the appearance that someone had read her brother three or four moves ahead, at which even she had yet to arrive. And Sora, too, laughed a bit regretfully, scratching his head.

  “She can see through to my true intent without using magic? If that’s the case, then that damages my confidence a little.”

  If he lost to a user of übermagic tricks in cunning and mind games, then he’d really be screwed. Had Fi actually read all the way to the last move he’d prepared?

  “…Oh, well, eventually we’ll be facing Elven Gard, too; we might as well get a look at their skills.”

  —Now of course, quite a bit of firewood had been burned in consideration of age-appropriateness. But behind the shroud of steam all that fire had created lay, undoubtedly, paraíso. Paradise. In the bath chamber sat a pouting Shiro. Though things had been improved somewhat by the mysterious shampoo “specially formulated with spirit water” that Jibril had brought, still it seemed she did not like baths. Steph all the same washed Shiro’s hair, then did a double-take as Chlammy entered.

  “Wha, Chlammy, you had a figure like that?”

  “Hmph, I’m the type who looks more slender in clothes…”

  For having been picked on so much about her figure, Steph was astonished to see that Chlammy had a shape as ideal as a model’s. Jibril and Fi were supposed to be present, too. Yes, supposed to be… And considering this was a bath—obviously, without a shred of clothing. However, Sora, clothed, and with his back to them had no way of verifying any of this. (Please…oh cameras on our phones and tablet. I believe in you!) The cameras had been set up at three strategic points so as to avoid the ban flag from recording a naked minor—Shiro. Suddenly, Sora, praying that this time his cameras might take a perfect shot while he suppressed his urge to turn, heard himself addressed.

  “…Master, did you expect this?”

  Snapped from his reveries by Jibril behind him, Sora responded in the affirmative.

  “Of course.”

  Unable to turn around (oh, well)—Sora called at his back instead.

  “Fi… Uh, I mean, Fiel, Your Ladyship?”

  “Ohh? What’s this all of a sudden, acting all formal.”

  At Fi’s reply, seemingly quite near him, apparently, Sora continued.

  “The spell you’re using to disguise Chlammy’s boobs, is it an illusion? Or are you actually transforming them?”

  “Why, I am transforming them, but now that you say that—”

  Still smiling, Fi called.

  “Chlammy, the game’s up, and anyway, I think disguise is a bit discourteous in naked commuunion.”

  With a sound like that of a cork popping from a bottle, th
e magic was dispelled and, back to her original shape—the flat-chested Chlammy.

  “Don’t admit it so easily, Fi! If you’re going to do this, you shouldn’t have done anything to begin with!”

  For some reason strangely sympathizing with her cruel predicament, Steph intervened.

  “…It’s all right. If you hold your head high, there will be good things.”

  “Don’t look at me like that! They’ll get bigger!”

  Chlammy misinterpreted Steph’s comfort as about her breasts; Fi resumed regardless.

  “So, what kind of magic is it that you desire?”

  “Mm—glad we could get to the point.”

  With Fi accurately grasping his intent, Sora nodded grandly and spoke.

  “—It is possible you could make me female?!”

  The verve transmitted beyond the back of the shouting man. Shook the pervading steam mightily, as if summoning a divine wind…

  “If only I had this, I could view the paradise unfolding behind my back! If I were the same sex, no matter how anyone looked at it, it would be entirely wholesome! If that were R-18, then public baths and hot springs, too, would be R-18! It would be perfectly, invincibly wholesome!”

  “If the lechery that swirls in your heart is the same, I think fundamentally it would be the same.”

  “There is no physical evidence by which you can prove what is in my heart!”

  “How fantastic, Master! I am overwhelmed with emotion at your unhesitating willingness to so boldly carry forth with such absurd reasoning!!”

  And then, Fi told him.

  “It is possible, I suppose.”

  “Are you serious?!”

  The sheer effort, by dint of his reason, required to repress his spinal reflex to turn threatened to give Sora back pain. Ohhh… Ohh, a goddess was before him—no, behind him!

  “However, you cannot turn back, but do you mind?”

  —Wha?

  “There are two magical elements that determine your seex. If you have two of the same element, then you are female; if they are different, you are male; by magic, it is possible to make you female by making the elements the saame; however, I’m unable to turn you baaack.”