Compassion

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Compassion Page 10

by Neal, Xavier


  “Hi dad.”

  Immediately he questions, “What's bothering my daughter?”

  “How do you know something is bothering me?”

  “Because I know my little girl,” he states. “Now, we can do the song and dance bullshit first or you can just tell me, what's on your mind?”

  “There's this situation I'm in,” I begin slowly, eyes falling closed. “There's a logical route and...a less logical route.”

  “Is this about work?”

  “No...”

  “Dating?”

  “Possibly...”

  He lets out a little laugh, “Look, I know how your mother feels about this. I know how she's been pushing you to replace Chris in your life for the last...couple of years and on one hand I agree with her. I think it would be healthy for you for to move forward.”

  I'm trying...

  “However, you have to move forward the way that fits you best, Jaye. And I know you. You would go out with the wrong man a hundred times in an attempt to refrain from upsetting anyone, but sometimes you have to just go do what's best for you sugar. Whatever that means. Logical or illogical. For once, you're that bunny on top of the mountain and you need to do whatever it takes to rescue yourself. Do you understand?”

  There's a little hum that comes out before I whisper in agreement, “I do...”

  He feels this way now, I just pray he feels this way after they meet some day. Something tells me, there's a good chance, he won't.

  Jaye

  I adjust my lip gloss. “You're sure?”

  Hell am I sure? I never call in or take a vacation day. Maybe I shouldn't.

  Presley immediately replies, “I'm positive. I'm just worried that you're okay.”

  “I'm fine, really,” my assurance is followed by me turning around to rest my butt against the counter. “Just need a personal day to sort through some things. But if you need me to come in and work from the school I can. We didn't have anything on calendar, but I-”

  “Take it.” There's a voice in the background, which rushes her off the phone. “I have to go. Emergency in the gym. Take this day for you. If you need anything, just call me. I'm here.”

  “Thanks boss.”

  After hanging up, I glance over my shoulder to give myself one final look, and head downstairs with my phone slipped away in my back pocket. At the end of the stairs, I prepare to turn left for Archer's room when the banging of dishes in the kitchen catches my attention.

  “Archer?”

  All of sudden his face appears in the bar window with his eyebrows lifted high. “Running late?” Before I have a chance to answer he offers, “Need some coffee to go? Want me to toast you a bagel?”

  Slowly I head for the large living room, my eyes still locked on him. “I'm actually not going to work today.”

  He tilts his head to the side. “Are you...um...ill? Do you need to go to the doctor?”

  “I'm fine.” Folding my arms across my chest I quietly admit, “I just...I thought I would take the day off and we could start the weekend early. Go do something together.”

  “Together.”

  “Out there-”

  “Out there.”

  “You know,” I continue to ramble. “In the big bad world. We've spent so much time in the house fixing it and cleaning it and I totally appreciate that, I really do. Don't doubt that for a minute! Not one second! I love everything you've done and the changes we've been making-”

  “Jaye,” he softly interrupts.

  “I just...” Nervousness clogs my throat yet his green eyes melt the anxiety effortlessly. “I wanna spend time with you outside these four wall. Outside the gym. Outside of Harry's. I wanna go out and do something like a normal...”

  Couple. We are basically a sexless couple. The least we should do is date like one too. Who knows, maybe we could eventually be a sex full one. Wow. Jumping the gun a little bit.

  Very carefully he questions, “A normal what?”

  My hand rolls around looking for the word that means couple without saying couple.

  “Jaye,” Archer's voice weakens. “Do you wanna go out on a date with me?”

  Shock drops my own volume. “Are you asking me out or just clarifying?”

  He pauses as if unsure himself. His hands land on the counter at the same time he cautiously states, “Clarifying.”

  “I do.”

  Archer shifts his weight. “Wanna go out with me?”

  “Yes.”

  “On a date?”

  Knowing if I look away, he won't see how serious I truly am about the situation, I pin him with my stare. “Yes.”

  The instinct to argue with me appears on his face, which causes his jaw to drop. “Jaye-”

  “No,” I stand up for myself. “Last night, I went out with a man-”

  “I recall.”

  The urge to smile at his jealousy pokes at me. “I went out with a man who was nice. Attractive. Intelligent. Financially well off-”

  “Point?”

  “My point is he was perfect on paper. A match made in compatible heaven, but all I kept thinking about was you.” This time when his mouth creaks open, I step forward. “I couldn't wait to come home to you. I wanted to see what you did for the day. I wanted to tell you about how little Ronnie finally read his first book all on his own.”

  “The Three Bears?”

  “Yes!” Excitement about the fact he remembered, just makes me grin more. “See. It's you I wanna spend my time with. It's you I wanna go have a drink with. Have dinner with me....date.” The first sign I've broken the barrier he's been hiding behind so harshly appears. “Or at least try. I know the agreement was friends-”

  “Which is best.”

  “Maybe!” I toss my hands in the air. “But maybe not! I'm not saying you have to date me to keep living here, I'm saying...I'm saying lets go out and do something without restraints or worrying about where it's all going to end up.”

  Archer nods yet remains silent.

  Holy shit! Did I just win that argument?

  With his eyes still lingering in mine he asks, “Where do you wanna go?”

  Too shocked he caved, my brain blanks on an answer causing me to shrug.

  “I'm gonna shower. Decide on something and we'll go,” he states finally moving his body out of the kitchen.

  Nodding, I simply watch him pass by me, heading for the garage I assume to grab his things to change into. The new mission on hand eventually sinks in and I toss myself onto the couch, searching the internet for something fun to do today.

  What? I don't know what there is any more. I can't recall the last time I took a day off during the week for anything other than teeth cleanings and doctor visits. And it's not like I date often, which even then it's usually just to dinner.

  After Archer's shower, he joins me in the living room, leaning against the wall closest to the stairs, keeping a very large distance from me.

  Please remind me this was a good idea. A brave idea. Please tell me this wasn't a complete mistake and I'm not completely in over my head.

  He clears his throat before he asks, “What did you decide?”

  “Movies?” The simple suggestion is received with a pleased look.

  “That sounds good. I can't even remember the last movie I saw.”

  “We watched Legally Blond like two days ago.”

  There's a small sigh that leaks out. “In the theaters. Speaking of chick flicks, is that what we're going to see?”

  Standing with a bright smile plastered on my face, I say, “I figured you could use a break and would wanna see a comedy or dude movie, so I went that route. It's an action comedy.”

  A flicker of doubt flashes on his face, but before I have a chance to question it, he shakes away. “Should we get going?”

  “Yeah,” I answer softly. “It's cool because it's one of those places that you can eat real food in the theater or drink while you watch it. The whole movie meets restaurant thing.”

  “So yo
u've been to this place?”

  I pass by him to grab my coat out of the closet. “Once. A really long time ago.”

  “Why didn't you go back?”

  “Honestly?” Once my jacket is in my possession I pause further movements. “Chris wasn't a big of movies. On TV or in the theaters. I don't really have many friends to go with and there's something that feels so sad about going to see one alone.”

  Chris liked wine tastings and other events he could make connections at. He was always looking for business opportunities.

  I hand Archer his coat, which once it was cleaned turned out to actually look damn near brand new. “The movies it is then.”

  The two of us get our jackets on, I grab my purse, and we head out to the car. On our ride over to the shopping center where the theater is located, we spend the time listing our favorite movies from when we were kids through our teens.

  Turns out most guys are huge fans of Classic 80s action movies like Die Hard, Point Break, and Mad Max. Apparently that's universal.

  With a little bit of time to kill before our showing, we stroll through the bookstore, admiring the ones on display, talking about how crazy it is so many of them are being turned into movies. During our walk, I notice Archer's attention divert any time he sees one related to war or military.

  Even the romance ones. I have a couple of them. They're actually really good...

  Against my better judgment I push the subject as we approach the children's section. “Do you always avoid anything military related?”

  Archer's eyes cut down to me. “Excuse me?”

  “I um...” My finger casually points over my shoulder. “I noticed you avoided looking at any books related to military or military subjects. I was just curious does it stop at books or do you avoid all topics related to it?”

  His attention sharply relocates to the path in front of him. “All.”

  Noted. Seriously. Write that down. I'm not a huge fan of cold shoulder Archer. For Heaven's Sake have you seen him smile? It's warm enough to melt any girl's panties. Geez...did I just say that out loud? Don't tell!

  Without warning he demands, “So tell me about Dr. Perfect.”

  Hearing the request causes me to lose my footing and bump into a table, the edge sharply hitting my hip. “Ou!”

  Immediately, Archer swings around, a panicked expression on his face. “Jaye!”

  “I'm fine.” Embarrassment seeps further into my face. “I just hit the table. I'm such a klutz.”

  “Let me see.”

  “See what?”

  “Where you hurt yourself.”

  Figuring it's probably useless to argue, I lift the side of my long sleeve shirt and fleece jacket revealing to him the area. Archer lowers his body so his face is only a breath away from my throbbing area that now has goosebumps breaking out across it.

  Funny how quickly it switched gears.

  Unexpectedly there's a light touch to the area. It's slow and drawn out, almost as if he's afraid his own touch might burn me. My knees tremble in reaction.

  Holy...

  “Shouldn't bruise,” Archer says peering up at me. When he rises back to his feet he follows it with, “Be careful, Jaye. I don't want anything to hurt to you.”

  “You might wanna wrap me in bubble wrap then,” I joke, lowering my clothing.

  “You'd look good in bubble wrap.”

  A small whimper slips out of me before I shake it away. “What um...what were you asking me?”

  Archer starts to speak yet shuts himself off, clamping his jaw tightly. After a brief pause he offers me a gentle grin. “I don't even remember.”

  I softly smile.

  “Is it movie time?”

  “Shit,” I mumble in disbelief I forgot the whole reason we had ventured into the bookstore to begin with. Quickly checking my phone, I reply, “We can head that way. Should be a good time.”

  The two of us exit the bookstore and head across the way to the movie theater. As soon as we're all checked in and settled in our seats, the conversation of favorite foods kicks up once again.

  Is it weird the discussion of food is our thing? It's like our weird comfort zone area. Don't worry. I can't get fat talking about food. You're sounding like my mom. Don't do that.

  Watching short clips that relate to the movie we're about to watch before the actual previews kick in reminds me of being at home on the couch. Archer lifts the seat divider between us and I scoot a little closer, leaning my body slightly against his.

  We sit this close at home for about four minutes, which is when he excuses himself for bed. I kinda hate it, but it's worth it for those four minutes of his body radiating something my own can't resist. He's got like super mega man testosterone that makes my panties soak in a matter of seconds. I swear...it's crazy.

  Curious what he'll do since he has nowhere to go, I'm slightly disappointed when his strong hands relocate to his thighs.

  Can't blame a girl for hoping.

  The lights lower as our drinks and appetizers are delivered, which shifts my body back away from his. Hiding my letdown well, I pour all my efforts into watching the movie.

  While the previews are most people's least favorite part, I love them! It's like getting to watch mini movies before your big one.

  Archer's leg knocks against mine during one of the action based previews. I give him a brief glance, the light illuminating his face just enough for me to see an uncomfortable expression. Tempted to prod why, I bite down on a chip as a reminder to back down.

  He talks when he's ready. He opens up when he's ready. I got that. I get that...believe me. I get that.

  The actual movie starts and his demeanor seems to return to its relaxed state. By the time I've finished what I've ordered, he's already gulped down his and is back in his previous position. While the desire to nestle my body against his is strong, I fight against it and settle into my own seat giving him space. To my surprise his hand lightly grazes the top of mine before hinting to fold our fingers together. The second they're locked my heart starts to pound heavily in my chest. Unsure the last time I held anyone's hand over the age of seven, I grip it tighter, certain if this is the only moment we get like this I want to hold onto it as strong as possible.

  Yeah. That includes Chris' hand. He preferred to link our arms together. Said it was classier. Insisted it made a bolder statement.

  When Archer's thumb lightly strokes my hand, the breath I was holding is robbed from me. My eyes helplessly fall to the sight of us joined. Terrified he will pull us apart the second I drag my gaze back up, I take my time, drinking in the warmth of his rugged touch. The moment I meet the green grace I love getting swept away in, he slowly uses his other hand to caress my cheek. His face begins to lower itself towards mine until there is only a whisper between us. My eyes shut in anticipation of the one thing I've been thinking about since I found that rose on my door step.

  Hell. From the moment we locked eyes.

  All of a sudden a loud explosion yanks his body away from mine. Seconds after the screen is flashing quick bright lights with gun shots firing rapidly. Archer's body goes rigid, slipping out of this moment and back into the one that grabs him like a ghost desperate to drag his soul back in time. I watch as his eyes shut and his jaw clenches. The rocking begins, which is when my own panic sets in, unsure of what I'm supposed to do.

  What am I supposed to do? Last time I tried to help, he grabbed me. Now, I managed to help calm him down, but you remember how upset he was that he put me in what he considered danger. If I try to help now and he repeats what happened before he'll peddle backwards back into safe 'friendship' territory. Away from this moment. Away from ever finding out where this could go.

  Feeling an ache in my chest as he covers his ears, lips moving a repetitious action, I ignore the whispering doubts and slide my hand onto his leg. As predicted his clamps down on it, preparing for combat when I turn mine slightly. Gingerly I stroke his forearm in such a way it startles him. Like a wounde
d animal, his body seems torn between the instinct to fight the touch and the craving to collapse into it.

  I continue to rub my fingers gently against his skin until his other hand falls, which is when I whisper in his ear, “That was then...” There's a muffled slew of grumbles, so I add, “I am now...Come back to me.” Still resisting I quietly beg, “That was then...this is now...I am now. Please. Please come back to me.”

  Disoriented yet struggling against it, he nods, faintly whispering, “Jaye is now...” His green gaze falls back into mine, pleading we need to go before it happens again.

 

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