“Miss Alice? Do you know where the gentlemen are? The messenger is waiting for a reply.”
“I…I’m sorry, Barlow, what did you say? Oh, yes. Sir Edward and Captain Delacourt went to the book room to read the morning papers. You should still find them there.”
As the butler made to leave Alice called out to him. “I’m going to walk into the village and visit Mr.s. Tyler, Barlow. Do you know if Cook has any commissions for me?”
“Why, no, miss. There was a delivery just this morning.” He glanced out of the window. “Would you like me to order the gig for you? It might come on to rain.”
“No, thank you, Barlow. I feel like the exercise. It’s not far. I can be there and back before the weather closes in. Please excuse me.”
She almost ran from the room, desperate to be on her own. She knew all along that it had to happen. Sooner or later the orders had to come and Edward would answer the call of duty. She’d seen it in the coach on the way back from the haymaking. He wanted action. He wanted a ship under his feet again and a never-ending horizon. It just…it just was so soon. Whatever would she do without him?
Dressing more by good luck than anything else she threw on her bonnet and snatched a shawl and gloves from the dresser. Her flight down the stairs was witnessed by no one. Halfway along the drive the sharp gravel reminded her she was wearing nothing but house slippers on her feet. They would have to do. She could not risk meeting him now, seeing the look of excitement in his eyes as he bustled around giving orders. Mama would supervise his packing. He didn’t need her now.
Before she’d walked more than half a mile a horseman passed her. She recognized the groom. He shouted a greeting, but made no attempt to pull up. Obviously he was on his way to Winchester. Edward had made his reply already. A further pang of misery smote her heart.
As the first few houses in the village came into sight she paused by the milestone to wipe her eyes. Struggling to regain her composure she drew in several great breaths, trying to control her wild emotions. Whatever was she to do?
Mr.s. Tyler came to her door in answer to the knock. Her startled expression was enough to shred the last of Alice’s brave attempts to hide her tears. Thankfully the older woman said nothing, simply taking her by the arm and leading her to a place by the fire.
“Sit you down. Here, let me take your bonnet and gloves. Oh, you’re shivering! I’ll find you a warmer shawl. Put your feet up next to the blaze while I make you a hot drink.”
She chattered away, bustling around to make Alice as comfortable as she could with the limited conveniences she had to hand. Finally she stood with a motherly arm round her shoulders, urging her to sip the hot chamomile tea being held to her lips. Alice swallowed.
“You must think me a fool.”
“No, indeed, my dear, that I don’t. Now tell me what’s wrong. You’re not in any trouble are you?”
Heat flooded her face. There was only one sort of trouble Mr.s. Tyler meant. For the first time, Alice understood how girls could do such things. How tempted would she have been if he had but asked her? He was far too honorable a man for that. But how much honor, or constraint would she have shown if that offer had been made?
“No, I’m not in any trouble. It’s just, it’s just…Oh, Mr.s. Tyler, he’s going away. The messenger…the messenger came just now. I couldn’t bear it.”
“Men! Off to war and adventure with never a thought for those they leave behind. I well remember when my man went, with not a thought for me or the baby.” She paused for a moment, her memories far away. “You’re taking it hard. Aye, I thought that was the way the wind blew. We women have a mortal difficult lot to face and that’s a fact.”
“I can’t compare myself to you. I’ve no claim on him, you see, no right to expect anything more than the wonderful generosity he has always shown. You mustn’t be thinking he’s taken advantage of me, or anything like that.”
Alice felt the arm around her shoulder tighten. “Of course I don’t think anything like that, not with your mother in the house and Sir Edward the gentleman he is. But that’s the whole trouble. What young girl like you could help falling in love with him? He’s always so kind and thoughtful and handsome, too. He’s a fine man, as unlike his brother as could be. It was a wonderful day for the village when he arrived. We’re all going to miss him, you more than anyone. It’s the way things are in this world.”
She warmed her hands on the cup and gazed into the flames as Mr.s. Tyler finished speaking. Almost to herself she murmured, “I could never be anything to him. I realize that. His duty is to marry someone much grander than a penniless nobody like me. But while he was there, while I could see him every day, I could always…I could always—” she broke off, overcome by the reality that her dreams were over, shriveled into the ashes of reality.
“Now, now. You’ve got your mama and your health, which is more than many have. He’ll not see you want, not again. You know that.”
Alice dried her eyes and sipped at the remains of her drink. “Yes, I know I’m being foolish. I won’t succumb like this again. I’ve so much to be grateful for. Like Sir Edward I have my duty and I shall do it. There’s Gabrielle, who will never know her own mother’s love. I’m lucky to have such a treasure to care for.”
“That baby doesn’t know how lucky she is. Fate has turned out wonderfully kind for her, at least.”
“And for me, really. I’ve allowed my foolish fancies to overcome my common sense. Mama warned me against this very thing. She must never find out about my silly behavior today.”
Mr.s. Tyler smiled her encouragement. “She won’t hear of it from me, that I promise. You’re only a young girl, when all’s said and done. You’ll be happy again. You’ll see.”
Alice stood up to leave. Mr.s. Tyler meant well. “Of course I will. Thank you so much for your kindness. I should go back. There will be things to do.”
“You’ve been kindness itself to me and young Jem. Remember my door is always open for you, if you need to talk.”
“I’ll not forget you, I promise.” After another warm embrace, Alice tied her bonnet ribbons with a show of determination. “Goodbye, Mr.s. Tyler.”
“Goodbye, my dear and God bless you.”
A little lane ran from the cottage to the main street. More mindful of her footwear on this return journey Alice picked her way round the potholes and animal ordure. The sound of a carriage only pierced her preoccupation as it passed opposite her. Startled, she glanced up just in time to see their own coachman drive past at a spanking trot. Huddled up in his caped cloak against the approaching storm he was certainly wasting no time. The barouche was similarly closed up tight against the weather. The occupant was obscured, apart from a blue-clad arm resting along the window frame. The gold braid on the cuff proclaimed its owner. She’d missed saying farewell!
As she dashed the few yards into the street shouting and waving all she could see was the rear wheels and tailboard disappearing into the distance. There was no way Robert on the box would hear her over the noise of the team. Foolishly she tried to run after them. What chance did she have of catching them? After only a few yards she gave up the attempt. Stupid, stupid fool! To have run away and now to have missed him.
Disconsolate, Alice stood watching the dust settle in the empty street. Only a stray dog wandering past her fixed gaze brought her back to her senses. How could he have left without even saying goodbye? Barlow knew where to find her. He could have stopped for a moment, surely? Most likely his single-minded pursuit of his duty had driven every other consideration out of his head. He could not have waited for his baggage to be packed. Perhaps Harding would be following once everything had been arranged.
With lead in her feet and a great emptiness in her heart she turned around and headed back to The Priory. Rain started falling before she’d gone any distance at all. The gray sky mirrored her mood to perfection. The color had leached from all her surroundings, leaving only a dismal, dreary trudge through the increasi
ngly muddy lanes. Water dripped from her bonnet and soon soaked her flimsy shawl. It made no difference. Nothing mattered now.
Entering the house by the garden door Alice removed her sodden footwear before heading for the solace of her bedchamber. She’d climbed no more than the first stair when a door opened to her left.
“Good God! What on earth has happened to you?”
Her reticule hit the floor with a thud. Fortunately her grip on the banister rail prevented her from following it. Unable to believe her own ears she turned in stunned surprise to see Edward crossing the hall toward her. All thought of decorum flew out of her head as she hurled herself toward him.
“Oh, Edward, Edward!” She could manage no more.
It felt so good to be held in his arms. Enclosed in a crushing embrace she clung to him, stretching on tiptoe to wrap her own arms around his neck and press herself as closely as she could. Not even her wildest imagination could come close to the sensation.
“What is it? Are you hurt? Have you had an accident?” He held her away from him a little, scanning her face with anxious eyes. “You’re so cold and so wet.”
Whatever had she done? The shock of seeing him again had overset her completely. Bitterly regretting her impulsive behavior Alice tried to back away as the enormity of her conduct hit her like a blow. How could she have given herself away so badly?
Edward retained his hold however, forcing her to submit to his scrutiny. Heat boiled into her cheeks as she felt ready to die from embarrassment.
“Alice, you’ve been crying. Here, come into the morning room. The fire is still warm in there.”
“No, no! I can’t! Please let me go.” Resolution gave her strength. Wrenching herself from his arms she fled up the staircase. Where could she go? Not to her room. He would send her mother after her immediately. What she needed now was time, to compose herself and avoid any scrutiny.
The school room offered little sanctuary, but it was better than nothing. She stood by the window, wiping her eyes and desperately trying to control her breathing. Rain clouds scudded across the broken sky, casting shadows on the ripening wheat. With the wind rippling through the stalks, tossing the heavy heads back and forth, the fields looked like a deep green sea.
“Here you are! Alice, you must let me help you!”
She whirled around at the first sound of his voice. Edward marched toward her across the uncarpeted floor, his booted footsteps sounding as determined as he looked.
“Oh no!”
“Oh, yes, madam.” He reached for her hands. Powerless to stop him she didn’t resist. Never for a moment letting go of her he steered her across the room and pressed her down on a bench drawn up against the wall. Sitting by her side he undid the button on her glove then chafed her cold hand, still examining her features with an anxious gaze. He must have satisfied himself that she wasn’t actually hurt as the worry faded from his eyes to be replaced by a more puzzled expression.
“Ssh. Don’t try to talk just yet.” He repeated his actions with her other hand, retaining his grip on her fingers when she would have pulled away.
“Let me take this damned bonnet off you.”
The wet ribbon resisted his attempts to untie the bow until it succumbed to brute force and the stitching parted on one side. Without compunction he threw the sodden straw onto the floor. Her shawl followed in a very summary fashion.
“You silly girl! Just look at yourself.” He reached up to smooth the damp tendrils of her hair away from her eyes. Alice felt the breath catch in her throat as the palm of his hand slid across her cheeks, first one side, then the other. A trail of warmth followed his touch.
There was a strange look in his eye when she could bring herself to look at him. There was sadness and resignation mingled with a subtle tenderness.
“Captain Delacourt wished very much to say goodbye to you, but he could not wait. He has to be in Portsmouth immediately.”
“I’m sorry to have missed him. He was a very amusing companion. You’ll feel the lack of his company keenly, will you not?”
Edward reached for her other hand. “I will miss him? What about you? I thought you had become very…fond…of Joe?”
Suddenly she realized that her answer was of more than passing importance to him. His keen scrutiny allowed for nothing but honesty.
“I thought it was you in the coach, Edward. I thought you had been called to duty and I could not bear it.”
A flame kindled in his eyes. “You’d be so distressed about my going away? Do you care for me so much? Is there hope for me after all?”
It was Alice’s turn to feel a blossom of joy. There could be no misunderstanding his question. “Oh, Edward, I shall love you until the day I die. I can never hope to meet a finer man than you.”
He inhaled sharply and then looked toward the floor, trying to compose himself. “When Barlow came into the room with the orders from the admiralty, all I felt was dismay. I could think of nothing but leaving you and my home. I’ve never had a home before. You cannot imagine my relief when he handed the message to Joe.”
She had to make sure. “But your duty has always been so important to you.”
“And it is still. But I have new duties now. To Gabrielle, to Jem and his mother and all the people in the village and those who live on my land. It’s my greatest hope and desire that I might claim a duty toward you, my darling, my own sweet love.”
Tears welled from her eyes as she gazed into his dear, handsome face. He looked so humble and so hopeful. How could she ever be worthy of him?
“Surely you need a wife of consequence. One with a dowry. There’s so much that needs to be done to bring the estate into good order.”
He laughed aloud, before drawing her into his arms and kissing her soundly. When he at last drew back his smile was tender. “Alice, you goose, will you please marry me? I’ve no need to hang out for a rich wife. You, my dear, will be marrying a man of substance. Not including any revenue from the estate, my private income is more than two thousand pounds a year and for the past six years or so, until I came here, I’d hardly drawn on a quarter of it. A life at sea reduces somewhat the opportunities for squander and debauchery.”
He paused, looking at her so intently she felt a blossom of desire burst into bloom in her stomach. Unsure of these new feelings she tried to buy herself some time.
“You’re teasing me! You’d never indulge in squander and debauchery. Would you?”
He laughed again at her expression. One eyebrow quirked with pure devilment. Before his mouth closed over hers again he whispered, “Only with you, my darling. Only with you.”
About the Author
Sharon Milburn lives on the shores of the Indian Ocean in Perth, Western Australia. A teacher by profession, she has had a wide range of life experiences, ranging through gas company clerk, school cleaner, forward observer for an artillery battery to census collector and seller of antiques and collectables. Sharon has also travelled extensively with her husband and family, living in three states of Australia and Edmond, Oklahoma, as well as her native England.
A longtime member of Romance Writers of Australia, Sharon is a previous winner of their Short Story Competition and Carol-Anne Sorrel Award. She has published short stories and poetry in England, America and Australia.
Sharon welcomes comments from readers. You can find her website and email address on her author bio page at www.cerridwenpress.com.
Cerridwen, the Celtic goddess of wisdom, was the muse who brought inspiration to storytellers and those in the creative arts. Cerridwen Press encompasses the best and most innovative stories in all genres of today’s fiction. Visit our site and discover the newest titles by talented authors who still get inspired—much like the ancient storytellers did, once upon a time.
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