It’s brighter in this hallway, and I shield my eyes when the light kind of stings. Yes, definitely not a fan of that one. I’ll have to find some sunglasses when I get back home.
Home. An odd concept really. I don’t think I’d go as far as truly calling the guild home, but it’s where I live, so that might make it so? Who knows. Basically, I have a roof over my head every night, food to eat and I’m safe. I frown to myself. I’m safe most of the time, I amend in my head. Though, really, I guess it isn’t good if you have to change the safety bit when you’re talking to yourself. It’s a little red flagish for sure.
I take a few more steps, my feet clattering against the floor and sounding far louder than I think they should. I hope no one hears. Usually, my stealth is so much better than this. It has to be to catch my targets unawares. Targets I hope aren’t paying any attention right now. Otherwise I’m dead. A capital d, not a capital v, type of dead too.
There’s another door, and as slowly as I can, I twist the knob and pull it towards me. Knowing my luck, this’ll be the only one that hasn’t been oiled. As it cracks open, sunlight starts to stream through into the hall. Good. Once I’m through there, the vampires won’t be able to follow me. I can get back to the guild and regroup. Well, okay. I won’t go back to the guild. They’ll just judge me there for failing, but I can go regroup. Come up with a better plan. Kill even more vampires to make up for it.
Yes, that sounds like a good plan.
I take a step into the light, and an odd itching sensation covers my bare arms. Hmm. Not ideal, I wonder if Dimitri did something to me while I was sleeping? Maybe he thinks a little bit of itching powder will weaken me enough to stop me from kicking his ass. Or maybe it’s something to stop my other power from working. I still don’t quite get how he knows about that. But he does, and has clearly done something to block them from working.
I step further into the sun. The itching intensifies. I really hope a hot shower will sort it out. Another step. More itching. This time I can’t stop myself from scratching at the skin. I want the sensation to stop. Maybe I should go back and find a shower first? But no. The more time I spend in the vampire’s den, the worse it can end for me.
Despite the irritation, I step even further into the sun. The itching changes. It almost burns. I glance down at my arms, surprised to discover the little hairs there are smoking slightly. How odd. Even so, I carry on. Its really not worth my time to stop. I don’t want to be caught. I dread to think what they’ll do.
I can feel my mind going around in circles, but there’s very little I seem to be able to do about it. Each time I try to tell myself to stop, my head doesn’t seem to want to take that. As if it knows there’s something I’m hiding from it. No, there isn’t. Why would I be hiding from myself? I think I might actually be going a little crazy.
The burning intensifies. I try to stop the scream that forms on my lips, but the pain is too much. And when I say too much, I mean too much. My pain threshold is insanely high. I know, because they tested it while I was still a child at the guild.
It feels like little flames are licking at my skin, and my shrieks continue. I drop to the floor and curl into a little ball, desperate to stop the pain, but unable to do anything about it.
My skin is dying. I can feel it. Deep down I know it. Which is when my mind finally processes what it’s known since I first woke up. Tears I haven’t felt since I was six, begin to fall as it sinks in further.
I’m Ashryn Barker, one of the deadliest vampire hunters around. And now, I’m one of them.
My name is Ashryn Barker. And I’m a vampire.
Chapter Five
Cold. Oh so cold. I shiver, completely unaware of what’s happening. I think I was outside. I think I was burning.
Oh.
Right.
Yes.
I’m a vampire.
I still hate the word in my head. It makes me all kinds of pent up and angry. Also makes me want to hurt something. Myself mostly, which is just odd. Who wants to hurt themselves just because of what they are?
All this thinking is making my head hurt.
“Ashryn,” a soft male voice says. Hmm. He sounds nice. Soft. Caring. Like trust.
“Ashryn,” the voice repeats. I like it. It makes me feel kind of warm despite the cold. I try to open my eyes, but they still kind of burn. Maybe not my best idea then. “I need to cut off your clothes,” the voice says. It’s still really soothing, and I nod. It probably comes out as more of head loll. Classy.
There’s more cold as metal touches my skin, and I shiver even more. Why is there so much cold? At least it’s not the burning sensation from before.
I still don’t want to believe I’m a vampire. Why is this happening to me?
The word echoes around my head. I really don’t like it. In my head it means prey. It means something that needs to be destroyed. It doesn’t mean me. Except that it does. I am a vampire. Whether I like it or not. And soon, I’m going to have to properly accept that. I’m going to have to drink blood.
I shudder, but not from the cold this time. I hope blood doesn’t taste too weird. It can’t, can it? Otherwise, why would they be drinking it?
I open my eyes, and have to blink several times to believe what I’m seeing. The man in front of me isn’t what I expect, not from the softness of his voice.
He’s covered in scars. Or the skin I can see of his is. I’m not sure about under his clothes, but a little part of me really wants to find out.
Is this really the time to be thinking about that kind of thing? I should really get my priorities straight, and finding out whether there are scars all over him. And even if I do find that out, I’ll want to know more about how he got them. Maybe I just want to know him. There’s something about him that’s just tickling those parts of me. The ones I didn’t really think about much, there was no reason to. Other than scratching the itch with other hunters every now and again, I’d never met anyone that made me want to do anything like that.
Yet this man is making me think of tangled limbs and hot, sweaty bodies. How was that even possible with the ice water I’m in. There’s something floating along the surface too. Are they rose petals?
Who puts rose petals in a bath to soothe burns?
“They smell nice,” the man says, his voice still soft.
“Yes,” I reply, my voice cracking with strain. Oh. Maybe the sun did more damage than I think it did. That’s majorly inconvenient. “What’s your name?” I ask, except only the word name really comes out. How does that even work? The sun never got down my throat. Is this what I’ve got to get used to now? Things hurting even when I don’t actively hurt them? No wonder vampires are so sullen, they have it really shit.
And then there’s us hunting them. Well, them hunting us. That one hurts my head far more than I want it to.
“Remus,” he answers.
“Like the wolf?” I blurt, my voice a little stronger. Probably the shock. it can do wonders for fixing things. Got to love how the body works.
He smirks slightly, which drags on one of the scars on his face. It should be scary, but its not. There’s something in his eyes that betrays that. This isn’t a bad man. I’d stake my life on it.
Phaha. Stake my life on it. I guess that phrase has a completely different meaning to it now.
“Yes, like the wolf. Amusing I know.”
“It’s like your parents knew you’d turn into a vampire,” I say, my voice still scratchy, but it’s getting stronger by the moment.
“Well that’s a surprise.” His voice lights up. “From what Dimitri said,” he adds when he sees the undoubtedly confused look on my face.
“He’s been talking about me?” I’m not sure why I’m surprised. I shouldn’t be considering I would’ve talked about me too in Dimitri’s position. But I am a little curious now.
“What’s he been saying?”
“Mostly that you refuse to accept what you are now.”
“Bit hard to de
ny it when you’ve started burning,” I mutter. I’m still not happy about that one, but I really can’t say anything. They did tell me what I am now. And I know vampires can’t go out during the day. I always have. So there really isn’t an excuse for me to have done so.
“That’s true.” He chuckles, then lifts a cloth and smooths it down my arm. The effect is instant. I’m not sure if it’s whatever he put on the cloth to begin with, or just the gentle touch in general, but I feel almost instantly better.
“What’s on that?” I almost groan. Holding it back is super hard.
“Aloe vera.”
“That stuff works on vampires?” Surprise courses through me. I expected things like that not to work on vamps, guess I was wrong on that front too. I need to do a lot of re-evaluating when it came to vampires. No, to us. That really is going to take some getting used to. I wonder briefly if it’s my opinion of all vampires that needs to change, or if I happen to have stumbled across the only group of good ones. Guess only time will tell on that front. Maybe these ones are just trying to lull me into a false sense of security. I wouldn’t put it past the vamps I’ve always been told about.
One look at Remus and I know I’m wrong. There’s no way this man is trying to hoodwink me.
“Yes, so long as there’s no holy water in it.” He chuckles good-naturedly, and I can almost see why Dimitri decided to leave me with him. He’s much more approachable. Much more likely to make me believe.
I study my arm. The skin is pink, which I expect really, I mean, I was burning up before. Suffering the consequences did make sense. Before my eyes, the skin begins to knit back together, sealing it up and giving me a fresh layer.
Guess that myth about vampires is true then. Though at least it was a perk. Some of the other stuff, not so much. Saying that, I’m not very thirsty, That’s unexpected.
Can I ask him about that? It may be a bit weird to. But I need to know really.
“When will I, er..., want to drink?” The words come out, barely. I’m not normally this...whatever this is. I’m so not it, I don’t have a way to describe it.
He chuckles, dabbing on another stretch of my arm.
“I did wonder why you hadn’t asked that yet. For most new vampires, its question number one.”
“Even if they don’t know vampires exist?” I ask, feeling a bit more sure of myself.
“Okay, not then. They’re more interested in why we won’t let them go outside.”
“Why didn’t you stop me then?” I ask, cocking my head to the side. I’m still old, but my skin feels a lot better. Almost like its already fixing itself. I suppose it is though. This is the new me.
“We didn’t think you needed it, Ashryn. You’ve known about vampires your entire life,” he points out.
Oh, yes, that. I really should have known better.
“I was a little in denial.”
“And you’re not now?” he asks, dabbing on the top of my leg now, a curious look on his face.
“Little bit hard to be.”
“Most people would still try and delude themselves.”
He may have a point, people in general are pretty dense when it comes to stuff that should be ridiculously obvious to them, and given my reaction earlier, I’m just like them.
“I’m not the type to ignore what’s right in front of me.” The statement comes out far more suggestive than I intend it to, and I look away from him before I can see his reaction. I’m not ready for either one. I find him attractive, even with the scars, but I don’t think I can accept being interested in a vampire yet.
Maybe in time.
Hopefully in time.
“Why won’t you look at me?” he asks.
I whip my head up, and my eyes meet his dark ones. Oddly, I feel a slight rip within my head, almost like something is trying to make itself known, but can’t. I wonder if its my powers.
I concentrate on his eyes, rising getting lost in them. But there’s something mesmerising in them.
Which is when it happens. It’s more of a rush than normal, and it makes me cry out, but the knowledge is there. I can’t unthink it. I can’t forget it. I wish I could. The scars were made by his mother.
The knowledge doesn’t sit well with me. Then again, a lot of it doesn’t. A lot of the secrets people keep are exactly the things they wouldn’t tell people. Some for a similar reason to Remus, others for scarier reasons. Some of the things I know even scare me. And that says something. Even some of the other hunters’ secrets weren’t ones to be messed with.
Maybe that should have tipped me off about what’s really going on. Or that vampires aren’t the only bad guys about.
“Enamoured with me already?” He smirks at me, something undefined dancing in his eyes. I look away again, I can’t cope with this yet.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I reply. I’m still not ready to accept it. I may never be ready. Then again, it would just be sex. But no. That’s not how I wanted it to work. Despite it all, I’m a little bit of a romantic. I always imagined a new hunter would come to the guild, about my age, and sweep me off my feet.
Ridiculous I know. I’m not a little girl anymore. Really, I’ve never had a chance to just be a little girl. So I should know better than wanting all that romance and fairy tale stuff.
“Of course you don’t.” He sounds amused, and I’m not sure how to actually deal with it.
“I’m not sleeping with you,” I blurt out, and he looks even more amused, which I wouldn’t have thought was possible.
“I wouldn’t expect you too. I’m not the kind of man that forces anyone to do something they don’t want to,” he answers earnestly. And I believe him. There’s a sincerity about it that can’t be faked even by the most accomplished of liars. I like it. I could use a lot more honesty in my life.
I frown at that thought. It was odd to think it, but even since waking up the first time, no one here has lied to me. Yet people in the outside world, definitely have. It’s not quite processing for me correctly.
I’m saved from answering by the door swinging open, and for the first time since Remus cut my clothes off, I realise I’m naked. My arms fly to cover my chest as Dimitri storms into the room. Oddly, his expression doesn’t quite match his movements.
He’s not looking at me in the same way Remus is, though there’s definitely some interest behind them.
“I see you met our resident doctor,” he says, giving Remus an amused look.
“You’re a doctor?” I ask the scarred man, and he nods his head.
“I was before I was turned too. I must say, the other vampires are a lot more accepting of me than the humans were.” He waves towards his face, and corresponding dread fills me. Humans can be so cruel. Anyone can be so cruel.
“I’m sorry,” I say automatically.
“Why? Were you one of those people?”
I shake my head. He’s right, it wasn’t me that acted that way, therefore being sorry now is a waste of everyone’s time. But I don’t like the idea of him being sad. It just isn’t right.
I reach a hand out to comfort him, before remembering I’m naked again and covering myself with it. Remus chuckles. I don’t know what about him has me so comfortable.
“Exactly. You can’t change the past, Ashryn.”
The way he says my name sends tingles through me. I like it a lot. But more than that, I like his words. They’re true. You can’t change the past, even if you want to. And right now, that’s something I really have to accept. I’m never going to be human again.
Weirdly, that doesn’t make me feel quite as bad as it should.
“Are you ready to meet the others?” Dimitri asks. He’s still watching me intently, but his expression has changed a little. Now there’s a curiosity to it. Probably a result of watching my interaction with Remus.
I need to get the other vampire to meet my eyes. Then I can see his secret, and try and get a better measure of him. Hmm. That’s odd. I’ve never tried to get
anyone to look me in the eyes before. I don’t normally want to know these things. But maybe, in my head, it will help build the trust between us.
I want to trust a vampire. Huh. That’s an odd realisation.
“Okay, I’ll meet the others,” I say. I’m not completely sure I’m ready to, but I can’t put it off forever, and maybe it’ll help me start to work everything out.
“I’ll leave you to get dressed. Remus will bring you down in a bit.”
“Thank you,” I answer, relieved he’s leaving so I can actually change. Remus, not a problem, though now I know he’s a doctor, that could be why. It takes a certain kind of person to be a doctor and emanating trust is one of them. At least, as far as I’m concerned it is.
He leaves the two of us alone, and Remus holds out a towel for me. I finally leave the cold water, my skin feeling surprisingly refreshed. Looks like they know what they’re doing.
I hope they do about me meeting other vampires too. What if Dimitri and Remus aren’t the only ones who know who I am?
Being a vampire hunter probably isn’t going to help me here. Quite the opposite. I may need to be very, very careful.
Chapter Six
The room is beyond full with people, and all of them are looking at me. They have expressions ranging from curious, to almost hostile, and I don’t like either. I don’t want to be the centre of attention. Particularly not the attention of the angry ones.
But, it seems I have no choice, especially given one of them is heading straight for Remus and I.
If looks could kill, I’d be as dead as a doornail right now. I’m not sure exactly what I’ve done to this man, but given who I am, I can make a good guess. This really isn’t going to end very well for me if I’m not careful.
Other than the angry face, I guess he’s kind of alright to look at. Strong jaw, wide shoulders, a body most men would die for and most women would throw themselves at. Most gay guys would too. Basically, anyone who was into men, and then maybe some more. But one thing he isn’t is classically handsome. It’s his aura that makes him so imposing, and so attractive.
Shattered Illusions Page 3