by Jet Mykles
As Cash panted, catching his breath, Danny crawled up his body. “Did I do it right?”
The shadowy face looked up at him. Even in the dim light, Danny could see the smile. “It was okay.” They shared a laugh. “But you gotta teach me to do some of that.”
Why? For whatever guy comes after me? Like cold rain, the errant thought doused his pleasure. He was glad for the darkness to hide the reaction from Cash. “Sure thing,” he agreed, lowering to his side next to Cash. He let himself be drawn into a kiss while his brain frantically tried to banish the thought of Cash with anyone else. But it was there like a canker, stuck under the skin. And why don’t you want him with someone else? Better yet, why would it bother you, since you’ll be with someone else soon enough? Tour? Remember?
Why? The answer was quite simple. He tried his best not to think it, but he couldn’t run from his own thoughts. It came at him in Rabin’s voice from earlier tonight: Bad time for it. Falling in love.
Bad time. Yes. But when did love ever worry about time?
Chapter Eleven
“So what comes now?”
Head comfortably pillowed on the left side of Cash’s chest, Danny chuckled as he idly watched his finger trace Cash’s navel. “Didn’t you come enough?” Danny was feeling very mellow after a good hour of sex and had not completely turned his brain back on. Besides, he was enjoying the hell out of cuddling with Cash. He hadn’t expected Cash to allow it, but when Danny had snuggled up to his side, he hadn’t pulled away. Midweek, and neither of them had to be anywhere until late morning tomorrow. So a few extra hours in each other’s arms wouldn’t wreck either of them.
Cash softly smacked the back of Danny’s shoulder. “That’s not what I meant.” His hand smoothed over Danny’s back, up to his nape. “I mean with your band. Your Web site said you’ve got club dates coming up in Cincinnati.”
Danny closed his eyes. Damn. Just like that, some of his warm, fuzzy feeling dissipated. It figured Cash would check the Web site. Danny didn’t know what was on the damn thing, but that would be one of the first places a curious Cash would go. “Yeah.”
“In March?”
“Is that what it says?”
“It just says March. Then it mentions Detroit, Louisville, and a bunch of other possible dates.”
Sighing, Danny rolled away from Cash until he lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. “Yeah. I knew it was coming. Just didn’t know exactly when.” Not entirely a lie. He hadn’t known the exact dates.
He waited, listening, expecting an accusation. Now Cash would be mad Danny hadn’t told him he was going, and the anger would be justified. But when Cash was quiet for a few moments, Danny finally turned his head. Cash lay looking at the ceiling too, thinking.
“Sorry I didn’t tell you,” Danny felt the need to add. “I was waiting until something was finalized.”
Cash frowned for a few seconds, then turned on his side. He drew one arm up to lay his head on it. “So what happens?”
Danny bent his elbow to bring his fingers to Cash’s face so he could brush the backs of them along his jaw. “What happens when?”
“What happens when you go out of town? Do you stay at hotels?”
Danny felt a smile creep up. No immediate lover’s recriminations or accusations of abandonment for Cash. He was curious about the mechanics of the tour. Danny rolled to face him, mirroring his position. “Actually, we’ll pretty much be sleeping on a bus.”
“A bus?”
“Yep.”
“And you sleep on it? All of you?”
“Most of the time, yeah.” Danny had never been on a real tour or traveled on a tour bus before with any of this other bands, but he knew what Gordon had planned. “We might stay in motels here and there, but we save money sleeping on the bus.”
“Is it just the four of you and a driver?”
Danny laughed. “No. There’s the four of us, our sound guy, and three roadies.” Both Fiona and Rusty had signed on to go, and Gordon was looking for the necessary third. “Gordon’s going to be with us some of the time too.”
“So, like, nine people?”
“Yeah.”
“On one bus?”
“It’s a pretty big bus, but yeah, cramped quarters.”
“Why not two buses?”
“Well, there’s also the equipment truck and a driver for that, plus daily expenses. We can’t cover much more than that. Yet.”
“What about your album? It’s for sale now.”
“Yeah, but that takes a while to really pay off.”
Cash stared at him, digesting that. “So you just drive from place to place?”
“Yeah.”
“For how long?”
“Sounds like we’ll typically be in a city for a night or two. I don’t know the exact schedule.”
“I meant, how long will you be gone?”
Danny felt his smile dim. “At least until June.”
Not much of a reaction to that, which surprised Danny. Cash just continued to look thoughtful, a slight frown drawing his light brown brows toward the bridge of his nose. “Do you get paid?”
Danny snorted. “Not much. Not yet. We’ll probably get the door—or part of it—which means we only get paid for the bodies we get into the club and any merchandise we sell. The club’ll get the bar.”
“Most of the money probably comes from the bar?”
“Yep.”
“And you’re a new band. People may not know you in those cities.”
He catches on quick. “That’s a distinct possibility. Gordon’s doing what he can, though.”
“So you could make nothing at all if no one shows?”
“It’s possible.”
“Why go?”
“Have to. We need to get in front of audiences.”
“What about your job at the pizzeria?”
“I’m quitting.” In fact, he’d already given notice. His boss was cool about it and had told him to get in touch after the tour if he needed his job back. The only person Danny hadn’t told about the tour was Cash.
Cash blinked a few times. “I don’t understand.”
“Understand what?”
“How can you live like that?”
Cash seldom failed to surprise him. “Huh?”
“Moving around, away from home. Not knowing how you’re going to pay your bills or for food or…anything.”
Danny considered the question. Cash, he realized, had never lived hand-to-mouth. “We’ll be okay. We’ve already got a lot of hype, thanks to Heaven Sent, and Gordon thinks the record company will come through with some backing finally. We’re much better off than most new bands.”
“Still, there’s no guarantee you’ll be big like Heaven Sent. People might not like your music.”
Danny raised an eyebrow. “Gee, thanks.”
“What? Oh, no, I didn’t mean it like that.”
He smoothed a hand over Cash’s bare shoulder. “I know you didn’t.” Danny slid close enough to hook one leg over Cash’s hip. “It’s just the way it goes. You’ve got to play the game to get the dream.”
Cash slid a hand up Danny’s side but didn’t miss a beat in the conversation. “The dream.”
“Fame. Fortune. Fantastic. Fabulous.” He kissed the tip of Cash’s nose. “The dream.”
“The dream.” Cash let Danny kiss him softly but then drew back so they were eye to eye. “What if it doesn’t happen?”
“What?”
“The dream.”
Danny blinked, sighed, and pulled a few inches away. “You’re really killing the mood here.”
Cash thought about it, then disentangled himself and sat up.
“Hey.”
Cash scooted out of arm’s reach and drew up a knee to block his goodies from Danny. “What if it doesn’t happen?”
Frustrated, Danny rolled to his back. “It will.”
“You don’t know that.”
“No, I don’t know it. But I feel it.”
&
nbsp; “Really? You’re willing to bet your life on a feeling?”
Danny startled. “Yeah.”
“What if you don’t make it?”
“Your confidence in me and my band is truly underwhelming.”
Cash grimaced. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to offend you. I just don’t understand how you can live not knowing how you’re going to pay rent or for food to eat.”
“I’ve done okay in the time we’ve lived together.”
“Only because you’ve got another job.”
“I can always get a job.”
“In this economy?”
“Look…” Resigned, Danny sat up. He ran both hands through his hair, collecting his thoughts. “Music is what I am. It’s my favorite thing in life. I live for the chance to play for people, to know they’re enjoying something of mine. Can you understand that?”
“Not really.”
“Okay, how about this—me not performing is like you never sitting down at a computer.”
That hit home. Cash digested the words, then nodded slowly. “Okay.”
“Okay. You’ve got a benefit with what you do that I don’t with what I do. With your skills, you can be pretty sure to make money.”
Cash nodded.
“Well, what I do is more esoteric. I need other people to achieve my goals. In order to really do what I love, I need to perform. It’d be like you writing code but having no way to get it off your computer for anyone else to see or use.” Danny was rather proud of himself for finding words that resonated with Cash. “And this is the life. We could completely tank.” Danny spread his hands, palms open and empty. “It’s happened to my other bands. If that happens again, so be it. And we figure something else out.”
Cash propped his chin on his knee and wrapped his arms around his leg. Thinking. He looked so cute, it was a struggle for Danny not to tackle him. “Okay. I think I get it. I couldn’t live that way, though.”
Danny reached over to thread his fingers through the hair above Cash’s right ear. “It’s not always easy, but it’s got rewards.” He edged closer so he could brush his lips against Cash’s cheek. “But we’re good. The Knights. We’re really good.” He blew in Cash’s ear. “I know we’ll make it.”
Cash shuddered and swayed into Danny. “Okay.” He unwound his arms from his leg and transferred them to around Danny. “Don’t worry about moving out.” He tipped his head back to let Danny nuzzle his neck. “I can afford the rent alone. You can keep your stuff here.”
Danny raised his head so he could see Cash’s eyes. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m good.” He grinned big. “I’m gonna take the job with NuCorps.”
Danny slipped from Cash’s embrace and grabbed hold of his shoulders. “What? When did you decide that?”
“Been talking about it with Trautmann. We think it’s a good time.” Cash shrugged. “It’s no big deal.”
“No big deal? Fuck yeah it’s a big deal.” Danny only knew about the job offer because he’d once asked about a contract sitting on the coffee table back before the holidays. It had taken him an hour to pull details out of Cash about the corporation that had offered him a hefty starting salary to write code for them. Danny had gotten him to admit it was a pretty big deal, that this company only hired a handful of young talent from a select group of schools. “What about your deal with your parents?”
“Part of the contract is that I’ll work part-time until I graduate in May. It’s just a few months.”
“Oh man. No big deal? God, you drive me crazy!” Danny pulled Cash in for a quick, hard kiss, then dissolved into a laughing embrace. “You getting that salary they offered?”
“Yeah.” Cash hugged him back. “And an advance.”
“Get out!” Danny whooped. He shoved Cash onto his back on the mattress and climbed over him. “That’s great! We should celebrate.” Cash grinned up at him, all sexy and naked, his brown-and-blond hair spilled over Danny’s blue pillowcase. Only Danny had seen him like this. Danny almost only got to see him like this. “Let’s go out tonight.”
Cash froze. “What?”
“Yeah.” Danny warmed to the idea instantly. “Let’s go out to dinner. You and me.”
“You’re working.”
“Only till eight. We can have a late dinner.” He lowered to his elbows, snugging his hips—and cock—against Cash’s. “I’m not sure I’ve ever even seen you outside this apartment.”
“We met in the lobby.”
“Okay, outside the building.” He smoothed fringe out of Cash’s eyes. “We’ve never even gone grocery shopping together.”
Cash frowned. “We don’t need to.” Cash got most of his groceries from his mom, and Danny usually brought food home from work or leftovers from the studio.
“That’s not the point.” Danny took a moment to kiss him, softening him up. Well, softening most of him—there was something starting to press into Danny’s belly that was getting hard. “If you let me fuck you, you should at least let me take you out to dinner.”
Cash narrowed his eyes. “You’re broke.”
Danny leaned in to nuzzle beside his ear, inhaling fruity shampoo and gorgeous nerd. “Fine. You can take me out to dinner.”
“Why?”
“To celebrate.”
“What?”
He lapped at the vulnerable juncture of jaw and neck. “Your new job. My upcoming success. Your birthday.”
“It’s not my birthday.”
Danny drew back just enough so he could see Cash’s eyes. “When is your birthday?”
Distracted, Cash scowled at him. “May third.”
“Ah. Taurus. Figures.”
“What?”
Chuckling, Danny caught Cash’s wrists and pinned them to the mattress beside Cash’s shoulders. “Taurus. The bull. Stubborn as hell.”
“Hey.”
“Lucky for you, I, as a Libra, am a master of balancing things out.”
Cash thought about that before he frowned. “That doesn’t even make sense.”
Laughing, Danny brushed a kiss across Cash’s lips. “Doesn’t have to.” He kissed again, adding some tongue this time. Oh yeah, he was definitely getting a reaction down under. “Go out to dinner with me tonight.”
“I don’t think—”
He broke off Cash’s protest with another kiss. More tongue. He released one wrist so he could trace the line of Cash’s jaw with his thumb. “Go out to dinner with me tonight.”
“Just us?”
“Just us.”
Cash dragged his eyes open. “Does it have to be all romantic and shit?”
Delighted, Danny laughed. “No. How about that Korean barbecue right around the corner from the L-station? They’re open late.”
“I’ve never been to a Korean barbecue.”
“You’ll love it. There’s a grill at the table, and you can cook your own food.”
“I know. I’ve read about them. Just never went.”
Not for the first time, Danny wondered about Cash’s upbringing. He seemed to have a good relationship with his parents, but could they have raised him any more isolated? There was so much Danny didn’t know, had never bothered to ask. He very much wanted to make up for that lack. Danny kissed Cash’s forehead. “You’ll come with me?”
“Why’s this important to you?”
“I like spending time with you.”
“But you’re leaving.”
Kind of felt like a stab to the gut, enough that Danny flinched back. He pulled a smile as he readjusted, insinuating his legs in between Cash’s to open them wide. “I’m not leaving tonight. Besides, we can talk about stuff. Make plans.”
“Plans?”
“Yeah.” He started his journey down Cash’s body, kissing warm, bare skin. “For the future,” he muttered right before he took Cash’s cock into his mouth.
Predictably, Cash abandoned the conversation. Danny took his time sucking Cash down, teasing his anus, which was still plenty lubed from previ
ous lovemaking. Ridiculous plans ran through his mind as he drove Cash mad. Plans for the two of them. Plans as a couple. Plans that didn’t bear much of a resemblance to reality, but they served Danny’s mood when he shifted to his knees and pushed Cash’s legs up so he could sink his cock deep into Cash’s body. Could he be blamed for wanting to keep this? When Cash’s body accepted him so readily? When Cash’s moans were the sweetest of melodies to his ears? No, he’d deal with reality later. But for now, he’d pretend he could have Cash forever.
Chapter Twelve
Danny sipped his beer and watched Cash meticulously arrange strips of raw meat on the table grill between them. He’d taken to Korean barbecue right away. The meat part, at least. He refused to try most of the assorted condiments, even the ones of which Danny could name the contents. But he was all over the grilling and had taken over completely. Evidently his father and uncle were masters of the grill at home, and he’d never gotten to try his hand.
“Okay, I’ve got something I’ve been dying to know ever since I met you.”
Cash eyed him suspiciously. “What?”
“Where did ‘Cash’ come from? That’s not your real name, is it?”
“No.”
“Your mom a huge Johnny Cash fan?”
“Who?”
Danny’s jaw dropped. “Who? Are you kidding me?”
Cash grinned while stuffing rice into his mouth. “Yes.”
“What?”
“I know who Johnny Cash is.”
Danny narrowed his eyes, but inwardly he was thrilled. Cash would never have teased him like this a few months ago. “Fucker.”
White teeth flashed at him as Cash put down his rice bowl. “I wish it was Johnny Cash I was named after. My real name is Cassius.”
“As in ‘Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look’?”
Cash paused in turning over a strip of pork to give him a surprised but approving look. “You know Shakespeare?”
“I took two years of acting classes. I ended up reading most of the plays on my own.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
Cash shook his head. “Always puts me to sleep. Anyway, most people think I’m named after Muhammad Ali.”
“I don’t see the resemblance.”