by Sophia Henry
“I am.” I nodded again, lips quivering as I spoke. “You didn’t have to come here. You’ve got more important things to think about.”
“When will you understand how much I love you?” He tilted my face until my eyes met his. “Nothing is more important than you.”
And just like that, Aleksandr Varenkov turned my world upside down again. He had a talent for cutting through my bullshit and calling me out when I was acting like an idiot. He was the kind of person I needed to keep me grounded.
“Can’t wait to see your sexy ass on stage.” He flipped the lock on the bathroom door, biting his lower lip and throwing me a wink as he backed out.
I rushed to the sink, taking a few deep breaths before turning the nozzle for the cold water and running the inside of my wrists under the stream. The frigid liquid did little to calm my excitement.
I needed Aleksandr, and he came. Someone dropping everything to rush to my side was as foreign a concept to me as asking for help. Maybe I didn’t realize what love really meant.
When I heard one of the bathroom stalls behind me unlock, my shoulders stiffened and my knuckles turned white, gripping the sink. The reflection of one of Josh’s many hook-ups appeared in the mirror. I didn’t let on that I recognized her, ignoring her presence and grabbing a paper towel to dry my hands instead.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to listen. It’s just, you locked the door and I didn’t want to interrupt,” she explained. She stepped up to the sink next to me and began washing her hands. “That was intense. Who was he?”
Without taking my eyes from my reflection, I wiped away the smeared eyeliner with my fingertips and coated my lips with red gloss before turning to face her.
“Who was who?” I answered, yanking the door open and exiting the room. Maybe it was rude, but unlike many girls I’d come across in college town bathrooms, I didn’t discuss my love life with strangers in the bathroom.
The guys were probably getting antsy, so I hurried to the stage. I mulled over a dozen excuses as I walked back. Though the other guys would want fist bumps, I doubted telling Greg, I almost fucked Aleksandr in the bathroom would have gone over well.
“Social D!” Aaron yelled as soon as I jumped on stage and took my place behind the microphone stand. Thanks to my audition, the Social Distortion version of “Making Believe” had become one of our signature covers.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. The song started with a slow, heart-wrenching verse, just my voice against the backdrop of Aaron’s guitar. The second verse was the same, but Greg’s bass and Josh’s drum beats kicked in flawlessly. I put both hands on the microphone and looked straight ahead, seeing only the tops of bobbing heads until I got into a groove. As I began to loosen up, I released one hand to tap my upper thigh with the beat while I sang.
It was surprisingly easy to get into my groove despite knowing Aleksandr was somewhere in the audience watching. When I was onstage, Auden left my body, and the unnamed, unrecognizable lead singer of Strange Attraction took over. It was almost second nature for my alter ego to flirt with people in the crowd and writhe against the microphone stand.
I scanned the crowd as I sang, making sure I paused to catch the eyes of men in the audience. I locked eyes with a guy right in front of the stage and threw him a seductive smirk before searching the crowd for another poor soul to tease. Being onstage always triggered Greg’s earliest piece of advice. The key to being a successful front woman was to be sultry and unforgettable. Bands with female singers are easy to ignore if their presence didn’t captivate the audience.
Aleksandr stood in the middle of the floor, eyes transfixed on me. I had never seen him look at me the way he was looking at me at this moment. And I’m not talking about a lust-induced gaze like he’d had in the bathroom. I could only describe it as awe; maybe even admiration. As if he was aware of me in a manner he never had been before. Did I catch a glint of pride? Whatever it was it made me want to jump off the stage and run away with him.
Threads of self-doubt invaded my thoughts, as I continued to analyze how Aleksandr viewed my performance. Lead singer Auden could sing Aaron’s song choice with no emotional attachment, but Aleksandr’s presence made me feel like myself instead of my character. Real Auden faltered, forgetting the lyrics that came next.
Aaron caught my error and leaned into his microphone to sing with me, leading me to the right words. Grabbing my own mike off the stand, I spun toward him and grinned, then reached out and touched his shoulder in appreciation. When I turned back to the crowd, my eyes instantly found Aleksandr. I didn’t want to focus on anyone else. Didn’t want to pretend I didn’t care that he’d dropped everything and come to see me because I was having a mental breakdown.
After six more songs, Aaron’s voice boomed, amplified by his microphone. “Thanks for coming out tonight.”
He’d cut our set thirty minutes short by my estimation. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, but faced forward to thank the crowd and say good night myself.
“What the fuck was that?” Greg demanded, stomping toward Aaron while violently pulling his guitar strap over his head. I almost laughed when it got caught on his ear and jerked his head to the side. I chalked it up to karma for coming at Aaron like a madman.
Aaron ignored gregarious Greg and put his hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?”
“Rough night?” Josh asked, pulling the hem of his T-shirt up to wipe his sweaty face.
“Sorry, guys. Aleksandr’s here and I haven’t seen him since he left for Charlotte, and a bunch of family shit went down yesterday. I just couldn’t concentrate.” The words rushed out because I didn’t want to spend one more moment with my bandmates when I could be with Aleksandr.
“Let her go. She’s obviously in heat,” Greg said. I flinched at his words though I knew the ridiculous reaction came from jealousy.
“She’s not a dog,” Aaron snapped.
I ignored Greg. Lashing out at me because he was upset wasn’t right, but I didn’t want to deal with him right now.
“Great job tonight, guys.” I bent down behind Josh’s drum set and grabbed my messenger bag. “I’ll see you at practice tomorrow.”
It took every ounce of self-control I had to not break out in a run when I saw Aleksandr waiting for me at the door. When I reached him, I hurled myself into his arms, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his hips. He laughed a rich rumble that came from deep in his stomach as he easily cradled me and carried me out the door.
“Are you ready?” he whispered, lips brushing my ear, electricity pulsing through my veins.
“Yes,” I said, firm and decisive.
And I was. This was it. The losing-my-virginity chapter of my life. The ever-present-around-Aleksandr bees on speed were getting ahead of themselves as I was more excited than frightened. I didn’t feel anxious around him. With Aleksandr, everything felt right.
Nothing could ruin this moment.
Chapter 22
Except my best friend. My best friend could ruin this moment.
“There you are!” I heard Kristen’s voice before I saw her.
Aleksandr’s surprise appearance made me forget I’d promised Kristen we’d hang out after my show. The only thing I wanted right now was to summon Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak, whip it over me and my boyfriend, and bolt.
After contemplating the friendship code for a situation like this, I knew hoes before bros was the correct answer. Hoes being a term of endearment in this case, of course.
“Hey, KK,” I greeted her, releasing my leechlike hold on Aleksandr. He held me tight as I dismounted, and I shivered from the friction created by sliding down his hard body. “Hey, Lace.” I nodded to my other roommate, who had popped up behind Kristen.
“Hey, Aud. Hey, Aleksandr,” Lacy greeted us with a cheerful smile.
“Josh told us you’d already left, so we were headed to Larry’s to find you,” Kristen said, eyeing Aleksandr and me. “You’re still heading to L
arry’s, right?”
“Of course,” Aleksandr answered, grabbing my hand. I guess there was no need to rush, in his mind. He’d had sex before. I was the overstimulated virgin, so ready to get it on with my hot hockey-god boyfriend that I could barely walk from the throbbing in my nether regions.
I caught his eyes, pleading for him to understand the release I needed. His aggravating, yet sensual, trademark smirk splayed across his lips. He leaned down, using his cheek to push the hair away from my ears.
“Anticipation makes it so much better, my love,” he whispered.
The man needed to think about carrying me if he kept up that kind of talk. How did he expect me to walk on rubbery legs?
“Lead the way.” I swept my hand in front of me, allowing Kristen to take the lead.
If Wreckage was small, Larry’s was a storage closet inside of Wreckage. And it was a hole. But Larry’s was the only place in town that never ID’d us, so we’d been drinking here since freshman year. Kristen and I declared their gin and tonic the best in the world. Maybe it wasn’t, but it was the only place we could order one, and the bartenders always gave us extra limes, which made the whole drink.
I turned my attention to the bar, filled with the usual—a few kids from the university, but mostly townies. Townies were people born and raised in Bridgeland and the surrounding small farm towns. I’m not insinuating townies stuck out in any way. I’d just frequented Larry’s so often, that I knew the locals from the students. Plus, the number of pickup trucks in the parking lot was a telltale sign of what group there would be more of at any given time.
Aleksandr nodded to the three empty stools at the bar. Kristen and I both saddled up and ordered gin and tonics, while Lacy stood next to us and ordered a beer.
“I saw Beth waiting in our booth. Come over when you guys are finished,” Lacy told us, grabbing her beer and making her way to the front of the bar. There was a group of booths in the front corner, one of which we’d claimed as ours because we took it over every time we came to Larry’s. I think Kristen might have even carved our names into the table during a very drunken evening.
“This is disgusting,” Aleksandr announced, pulling the glass from his lips with a frown after I’d let him try my gin and tonic.
“You have to squeeze two or three lime wedges in it and mash them good with your straw. Then you get yummy lime pulp in every sip.” I demonstrated by stabbing at my limes before taking another sip of mine. “Ummm. Perfection.”
“I don’t like fruit in my drinks,” he said.
“Well, you deserve a gross gin and tonic then. The lime is what makes it. Otherwise, it just tastes like pine-flavored floor cleaner,” I told him.
Kristen burst out laughing. “That’s my girl.” She turned to Aleksandr. “So what are you doing in town?”
“Auden needed me,” he responded, holding up a hand for the bartender. He’d waited to taste my gin and tonic before he ordered, and judging by his reaction, he’d stick with his usual.
Kristen’s face lit up. I didn’t have to ask her to know why. She was beyond happy that Aleksandr would do that for me. She’d been witness to the guys I’d fallen for during my early years at school, and she knew I needed someone like Aleksandr.
“I wasn’t sure about you at first, you know.” Kristen waved her hand around Aleksandr’s head. “With the crazy hair and all, but you’re a good guy.”
“Thank you.” Aleksandr smiled, saluting her with his shot before downing it in one gulp.
Suddenly Kristen’s face lost the happy glow. “Wait. Why do you need him? What happened?”
Instead of beating around the bush, I let the story gush. “Turns out I have a brother who my mom put up for adoption before I was born. And he lives here in Bridgeland.” I turned to Aleksandr. “And it’s Jason Taylor, Landon’s brother.”
“What?” they both asked in unison.
I just nodded and tilted my gin and tonic back, sans straw. Wow. It really was disgusting.
“That’s not even…I don’t know what to…holy shit, Auden,” Kristen stammered.
“Yeah, I know. It’s fucked up.” The television above the bar flashed various colors, sports highlights scrolling across the bottom, reminding me it was just a regular night for so many people.
Kristen wrapped her arms around me, some of the contents of her drink splashing onto Aleksandr’s leg in the bear-hug process.
“I feel left out of this hugging,” Aleksandr joked as he pressed cocktail napkins he’d swiped from the bar against his jeans.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” I told him when Kristen released me. Then I took his face in my hands and planted a quick, hard kiss on his mouth.
Aleksandr put a hand up for the bartender. “Two gin and tonics and a shot of vodka.”
“Make it two shots,” Kristen called.
“Make it three,” I called. Both Kristen’s and Aleksandr’s heads swiveled toward me, eyes wide. I dropped my shoulders and tilted my head to the side. Was wanting to drink myself into oblivion such a surprise after my story?
When the bartender brought our drinks, Aleksandr passed me and Kristen each a shot of vodka.
I scrunched my face. “I’m gonna need sugar and a lemon.”
“Yeah, me too,” Kristen agreed. “It’s cold, right?”
“Americans.” Aleksandr sighed. He scanned the table behind us and plucked sugar packets out of the plastic holder. Then he grabbed two slim lemon slices from the tray on the bar and handed one to Kristen.
Kristen and I tore open our sugar packets and licked the inside of our wrists. Just as I was about to summon my inner Def Leppard and pour some sugar on myself, Aleksandr placed his hand over the wet spot I’d created. Jerking my head up in protest, I caught a mischievous glimmer in his eye as he ran his tongue over his wrist, doused it with sugar, and held it out to me.
I loved this man.
After licking the sweet granules off his warm skin, I downed the shot and searched the bar frantically for my lemon. Of course, it was wedged between Aleksandr’s teeth. When I pressed my mouth to his, he released the lemon. After I sucked the juice out, I spat the rind into my empty shot glass and coughed from both the vodka and the sour lemon.
Aleksandr took my pursed lips as a green light, covering my mouth with his. He kissed me like he shouldn’t have kissed me while sitting at a bar with my best friend, but I didn’t care.
“I will lick this sugar off your stomach when you are naked in my bed,” he whispered in English, lips softly scraping my ear.
My cheeks went up in flames, embarrassed that someone may have heard him.
“Okaaaay. I’m gonna catch up with Lacy and Beth. Meet us in our booth whenever you’re done with this,” Kristen said.
Yep. Someone had heard him.
“We’ll be right over,” I assured her.
“Slow it down or you’re gonna be sick.” She nodded to our empty shot glasses and my half-full gin and tonic.
“Yes, ma’am.” I saluted her, already feeling the buzz from the liquor. She slid her shot glass onto the bar and grabbed one of the gin and tonics.
I lowered my voice for Aleksandr’s ears only. “Thank you for coming.”
“There was no other choice. I love you, Audushka.” His voice was thick, heavy, heated.
“I love you, Sasha,” I told him, relaxing onto the bar stool. He held up the shot he’d ordered for himself. I grabbed my gin and tonic.
“To us.” He clinked his glass with mine.
“To us,” I repeated, taking a small sip while he tilted back his shot. He ordered a glass of vodka, paid our tab, and we stood up to join my friends.
As soon as we sat down, the girls bombarded me with questions about my plans for Bridgeland’s after-school program. I appreciated that only Kristen and Aleksandr had been around when I was talking about Jason. I didn’t want to explain my seething anger for my grandparents with Lacy and Beth.
“It’ll be a replica of the one in Detroit,” I exp
lained.
I had received final approval for the program from my advisor and the Department Chair during my nine a.m. class. For the first time since I’d been cut from the soccer team, I was proud of myself. I didn’t pat myself on the back often, but I was thrilled with the Central Club.
“I’ll hold my fitness class three times a week at the new facility instead of at the student center. The theater is closer to the elementary and middle school, and I think more kids will hear about it and know it’s free.”
“That’s a great idea,” Kristen said. “You should offer singing lessons, too.”
“Oh, geez, I don’t even know proper singing technique. How am I supposed to teach kids?”
“Then we can have karaoke. That’s easy and fun.” Kristen’s eyes lit up.
“Can I teach a gymnastics class?” Lacy asked.
“Yeah.” I nodded, overwhelmed by the outpouring of interest and volunteer ideas from my friends. I would need a lot of help with the program, especially since I scheduled twenty-one credit hours this semester. Although, three hours were approved for independent study to work on setting up the program.
“We could totally host a talent show.” Kristen downed the rest of her gin and tonic.
“I teach hockey,” Aleksandr offered, his eyes bright with the excitement of contributing.
“You don’t even live up here,” Lacy pointed out.
He paused, eyes on the waves of vodka gliding around the sides of his glass as he circled his wrist. “I teach in summer. Will be roller hockey. Same skills, different surface.”
“They’re poor. They don’t have roller blades,” Beth reminded him.
Oh my gosh, he’s just trying to help! I wanted to scream.
Aleksandr wasn’t deterred by the negativity. “I will donate this. Sticks, pucks, goals. All of this.”
I squeezed his hand, excited that my friends could see his compassionate, generous side.
“All this talk has given me the singing bug.” Kristen grabbed my hand, tugging me from my seat. “Finish your drinks. We’re going to the Thorne!”