Lose You Not

by Kristie Cook

  “So why are you hiding?”

  “I’m not. You know me, though. I’d like to approach him on my terms, not vice versa.”

  I peered at him through the descending darkness. An owl hooted from the bare branches above, and another answered in the distance.

  “You’re making yourself look guilty.”

  He smirked. “All the more reason—so when my alibi vouches for me, I can watch Conall’s smug grin fall right off his face.”

  “You’re willing to put her through that?”

  “Well, that’s the other thing. Shelly’s not in town right now, and knowing the Kasuns, they’ll arrest me just because they can.”

  I rocked back on my heels. “So this isn’t about delaying the fact that Addie’s going to find out?”

  He scowled. “I don’t care what she thinks.”

  “Yeah, right,” I muttered. “I actually needed to find you to discuss that pocket watch.”

  Narrowing his eyes, Tase’s gaze scanned the area. Then he motioned for me to come inside.

  As I closed the distance between us, my mouth suddenly grew dry from the hike, and I pulled my flask of blood out of my coat pocket. I drained it before I even hit the door, but it did nothing to quench my thirst.

  Inside the shack, an old oil lantern sat on a small table, barely illuminating the threadbare recliner and a bookshelf filled with an eclectic collection of “how to get rich quick” books and extremely old, leather-bound tomes, as well as a scattering of metal doodads. Little figurines and gadgets Dad had made out of boredom with scraps lying around—among them, a stag with shavings forming its antlers, a solitaire game made with a piece of two-by-four and nails, and a small metal skull, with one enclosed eye socket and one open, vacant one. I didn’t remember seeing that last one before. Tase must have made it. I didn’t care enough to ask, distracted by the empty blood bottles and bags that were littered everywhere.

  I looked at Tase with brow raised, but instead of interrogating him, I simply asked, “Do you have any more blood?”

  Maybe it was the scent from the bags that had obviously been stolen from the medical center, but a strong desire for human blood slammed through me. My stomach began to ache with the need.

  “All out,” Tase said. “Sorry, brother. Now what about the timepiece?”

  “What did you do with it?” We hadn’t been able to talk about it since he’d found it—he’d conveniently been too busy.

  He shifted his weight, studying me.

  “Tase?” I tried to make his name sound like a warning, but the hunger distracted me too much, so it came out as a question instead.

  “I’m meeting the buyer tomorrow.”

  “So you’re selling it, without us talking about it?”

  “I have to. I’m committed. I’ve already told you what this means. Why the sudden interest?”

  “Because Roman Bishop had a few things to say about it today while we stood in the inn’s conservatory, mostly wondering if it’d been found.” I folded my arms over my chest. “It felt like he was fishing for info, but since you’re partners with his brother, I figured he wouldn’t be so curious if he knew where it was.”

  “He doesn’t. This trade has nothing to do with the Bishops, not Ronan and definitely not Roman.”

  “I thought the artifact market was your and Ronan’s thing. It is an artifact, isn’t it?”

  “It is, but this is a separate deal.”

  I licked my lips, which felt like sandpaper. Or my tongue did. I wasn’t sure which was worse. Fuck, I needed a drink.

  “So you’re going behind the Bishops’ backs? What the hell? Who are you dealing with?”

  He smirked. “It’s not really going behind their backs. They know nothing about it.”

  “Obviously, that’s not true.”

  “They know the artifact exists. But they know nothing about the deal I have with this buyer. It’s Magda …” He blew out a harsh breath before he continued. “The witch who paid me to turn Michaela.”

  The already tight space felt like it was closing in on us. Between the bloodlust and my rage at Tase’s simple statement, the shack suddenly became too small for me, let alone both of us.

  “You’re still in contact with her?” I roared.

  “I was trying to reel her in. Trying to be the hero. At first.”

  “At first?”

  “Then that shit went down with the girl in Montrose.”

  I cocked my head. “That was her? The witch who wanted Michaela turned set you up to kill?”

  “She was sending me a message with the girl. That she knew about the curse. And if I cooperated, she’d take care of me. If I didn’t cooperate, she’d ensure the curse took over fast.”

  “How did she know?”

  He lifted his hands. “Got me. But she does.”

  “So what else does she want from you? Haven’t you done enough?”

  “The timepiece,” he said as though it were obvious. “It’s called the Eye of Valerian. It’s a moroi-specific artifact. With powers.”

  Shit. Michaela hadn’t told me that. Did she know? I should have never let Tase be the one to dig it up.

  “That’s why she wanted to take the Petrans down,” he continued. “So she could buy out their property and find it.”

  “And that’s the real reason you covered the costs of the renovations.”

  He nodded. “It allowed me access.”

  “I should have known it wasn’t out of the goodness of your heart.” I’d already figured this out, but shook my head in renewed disgust.

  “Hey. It was a win-win situation. Michaela got everything she needed out of it, and her business is booming now.”

  “So why does this witch want this Eye? You said it’s a moroi artifact, right? What can a witch do with it?”

  “I’ve told you, this isn’t the kind of work where you ask questions. But it must be more than that, especially if Roman was asking about it. It’s … it’s powerful, Xandru.”

  “So it’s talking evil to you, too? That’s just great,” I scoffed.

  He shook his head. “Nah, not like that. I don’t know what the kid was flipping out about. You can just feel it has power, but nothing like good or bad. It’s not like I walk around with it in my pocket, though.”

  I huffed out a breath, and that only made my mouth drier. “So where is it now? You’re not actually going to sell it to her, are you?”

  “It’s hidden. But I have to.”

  “What the hell? No! Not to her.”

  “I. Have. To,” he growled.

  “Why?” I demanded, leaning into his face. “Surely you can find another buyer.”

  “Because I value my kid’s life,” he spat. “And yours and our brothers’ and sisters’ lives.” He peered at me for a long pause, and then added, “As well as the Petrans.”

  “What?” I seethed.

  He nodded. “She’s threatened all of you. I give her the Eye, she spares everyone’s lives. If I don’t, we’re all dead.”

  “Who the fuck is she to threaten us?”

  “She’s a witch! And not afraid to use black magic. She can take us all down at once from fifty miles away.”

  “Son of a bitch.” I scrubbed my hand through my hair. “You’re meeting her tomorrow?”

  “In Montrose.”

  “Are you serious? Were you going to tell me?”

  He squinted. “Why would I?”

  “Because you can’t leave town unescorted, remember, dipshit?”

  “Adrian’s taking me. He needs to make a supply run anyway. And you need to stay here so nobody suspects me being gone.”

  I stared at him with disbelief. He’d made all these plans without consulting me, even after our agreement on Thanksgiving. “You’ll set off the wards. The Court said I must go with you.”

  “Adrian can handle it. And the Abbadons have the wards handled. Setting off a distraction from me.”

  “For shit’s sake,” I muttered with a sigh. “Now
you’re tied up with demons, too?”

  “Oh, please. Now you’re being the dipshit. You know Dad’s been doing business with the demons for decades. They owed me a favor.”

  I rubbed at my burning throat. “Damn it, Tase, I don’t like the sound of this. And now Roman’s breathing down Michaela’s back about Gabe and that fucking artifact. I swear, if anything happens to her or her family because of you—”

  “I know, I know. You’ll end me yourself. You’ve already told me that.”

  “I’m serious. Don’t fuck them up any more than you already have.”

  “As of tomorrow, the artifact will be far away, and nobody will ever have to know what happened to it. That bitch witch will be gone, and everyone will be safe and sound. I’ll make sure the Rocas and the Petrans are set up comfortably. It’ll all be good, brother. I promise.” He jabbed a finger at my chest. “As long as you can keep your fucking mouth shut about it.”

  My eyes kept darting toward one of the empty blood bags, the bloodlust desperate for even a lingering taste. “I have to get out of here. I need a drink.”

  I burst out of the shack and blurred down the mountain toward the lights of home and a fridge full of bottled blood. It wasn’t human, but a six-pack or so of bear blood, and a couple hits off a joint, should take the edge off enough to push through the ache. By the time I opened the back door, though, the desire had already faded almost completely.

  “That was fucking weird,” I muttered as I headed to the fridge, just in case the urge returned. I hadn’t a need for human blood like that in ages. Not since we’d been at the hospital after the wreck, and before then, it had been over a year. I’d mastered that part of me a long time ago.

  Tase and Adrian returned the next night without the Court knowing he had left, and he assured me it was all taken care of.

  And then he began to avoid me.

  I saw him a couple of times, including once when I picked up Gabe from the Academy and he was talking to Rowan Bishop. But every time I approached him, he managed to disappear from my sight before I reached him. Then he seemed to vanish altogether, not going to work or taking care of business, leaving it all for me to do. Again.

  He avoided Adrian and Andrei, too, so we sent Alina after him. He always had a soft spot for his baby sisters, and she was at least able to get close to him. But then she disappeared, as well, sending a single text saying she was okay but staying with Tase. She refused to say where they were.

  The only time I was able to see Michaela during this time was at the special town holiday events and once for drinks with everyone else. Except Tase, of course. I felt a wedge driving between us once again and knew I had to do something big to ensure she knew my inability to spend time with her was not by choice. That if I had my way, we’d spend every day of forever together.

  Chapter 17

  Michaela

  Xandru and I never got to talk. Not really. Not about Gabe and the edibles. Not about the artifact. And not about Tase. We were too busy for more than a shared drink and a kiss hello and goodbye for the next couple of weeks. I became all wrapped up in the Homes for the Holidays light tour charity event and the Hot Cocoa & Cookie Crawl, both of which the inn was involved in; dress shopping with Aurelia for the Yuletide Ball, then arguing with her about why she no longer wanted to go; an influx of skiers and other vacationers keeping the inn nearly full; the investigation of Heidi’s disappearance, which was quickly becoming a cold case; and, of course, gift shopping and wrapping.

  On top of it all, Gabe’s being “a little tired” turned into utter exhaustion, and I had to keep him home from school for the last two days before break. Which wasn’t good, because vampires didn’t get sick, not even mortal ones like us. Because he was more energetic at night, we thought his vampire nocturnal instincts were overpowering the magic of his tattoo, giving him daylight sickness. So Addie came over and redid his marking on the day before Christmas Eve.

  As for Tase, Xandru couldn’t tell me what was going on, but he was constantly running around, once again taking care of Tase’s businesses, including the busy ski resort. He still had the metal works company to manage, as well, which was busy with custom gift orders. When I pressed him to let me in, he’d only say that Tase was being Tase, and he was trying to figure it out himself.

  Thinking that Gabe might have been more comfortable in his own bed, Aurelia and I discussed staying in the family home, moving Christmas there and everything. But then we started talking about the holidays when we were younger and she told me about last Christmas, their first without Mom or Dad. We decided we’d follow Mammie’s lead and start new traditions at the inn, which would also allow our aunt to be a part of the festivities.

  Supporting our suspicions that his tattoo needed to be redone, Gabe rallied the next day, on Christmas Eve, just in time to join us on the slopes in the afternoon, one of our new traditions. Aurelia wasn’t sure she could be bothered at first, but we talked her into it, and once she saw me on skis, she was glad she came. She and Gabe both enjoyed making fun of this one-time ski bunny returning to the slopes for the first time in five years. At least they were nice to Sindi, who was popping her snow-skiing cherry.

  “You make fun of me and not this one?” I asked, as we helped Sindi back up on her feet after her eighth face-plant in a single run. So much for gothic vampires being good at everything and more graceful than the Russian ballet.

  “I don’t remember Sindi strutting around for the last month bragging about how she couldn’t wait to hit the slopes and show everyone how it’s done,” Aurelia said pointedly.

  “Yeah, she’s new,” Gabe said. “Give her a break.”

  “Okay, fine.” I looked at Sindi as I dropped my hands to my hips. “But if you’re still like this next year, we’re totally mocking you.”

  “Totally,” Aurelia and Gabe agreed.

  “Who says I’ll ever be doing this again?” the Southerner muttered as she cleaned off her goggles.

  “Maybe because Adrian sometimes works the lifts?” I suggested.

  Sindi shrugged. “Eh. I’d rather be in the control room keeping him warm anyway.”

  “Ugh!” Aurelia and Gabe groaned.

  After several hours skiing and snowboarding, which turned out to be Sindi’s forte, we gathered by the fire in the inn’s media room, Aurelia with her hot cocoa and Gabe, Sindi, and me with warm blood. A few hotel guests joined us as we watched Mom’s favorite Christmas movies. Mammie didn’t make herself seen, but I could sense her watching from the shadows.

  Since the Rocas never celebrated the holidays, Xandru gave all ski resort duties to Adrian and finally claimed a day off so he could spend Christmas Day with us. It was a lazy, laid-back day. The inn had only begun to start making money again, but we still had a lot of catching up to do on personal bills. So there weren’t many presents to open. We simply enjoyed each other’s company instead. By early evening, the kids grew bored and went outside for a snowball fight while Xandru and I stayed in by one of the fifteen Christmas trees in the inn (not counting those in the cottages).

  “Good day, yeah?” Xandru asked as we watched the flames dance in the hearth. I sat sideways on the sofa, my head leaned against his shoulder and my legs draped across his lap.

  “The best. For you?”

  “Any day with you is a good one.”

  I snorted. “Cheeseball.”

  “Okay, any day away from my fucked-up family is a good one. Is that better?”

  I fingered the button on his gray Henley. “Are you ever going to tell me what’s going on?”

  “Yes. But not today. This is a good day. Let’s not ruin it with my family drama.”

  “Fine.” Not wanting to fight about it, I sighed as I moved my hand from his shirt to his scruffy jaw, loving the abrasiveness of it against my palm. “I know Christmas isn’t a big deal to you, but thanks for making it one for me.”

  He rubbed circles with his thumb over my thigh. “You really went all out this year, with
the inn and everything. I figured it was important to you.”

  “Mom loved the holidays, so a lot of it was for her.” I laughed at a memory. “It wasn’t just about us kids, though. She didn’t fool me. Year after year, I came home from school and caught her watching cheesy romantic Christmas movies.”

  “Uh … isn’t that what you did last night?”

  “Only in honor of Mom,” I lied. I secretly enjoyed the movies myself. “You probably don’t even know what they are, do you?

  “I’m assuming not National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation?”

  “Uh, no. These are even dorkier, but in a different way. They’re all about these single people, one is often a widow or widower with a kid, and/or their business is failing, or they have to prove themselves worthy of the family business … Anyway, they pretty much have the same plot and even a lot of the same actors in all of them. And they always have a happily-ever-after ending, either on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.” I sighed. “Mom was such a romantic. She and Mammie both.”

  “Perfect. Maybe she’ll appreciate this then, even if it is me doing it.” Xandru removed my legs from his lap and set my feet on the floor, then scooted off the sofa to kneel in front of me. He stuffed one hand in his front pants pocket and cupped my face with the other.

  I tilted my head to lean into his hand. “What are you doing?”

  “Michaela Petran,” he started, his voice thick. He cleared his throat. “Michaela … I thought I lost you once, but you returned. I can never lose you again. You are mine, and I am yours.”

  Oh. My. God. Was Xandru proposing?

  A sound came from the distance, and somewhere in the back of my mind, a small voice told me to pay attention to it, but the rest of me was entirely locked on to the man in front of me. We’d talked about marriage for years when we were younger, but hadn’t really discussed it at all since I’d been back. After we made our big turning point back in August, I admittedly thought he would have asked by now. And here he was, on his knees, extracting something from his pocket.

  He held out a small velvet box in his hand. “I want to make this official and final. Michaela—”